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The UNIONISTS, are sadly The Company of the Bank of Irealarmed, that the foolish subjects Ca- land is preparing some very strong artholic Emancipation and VETO, are guments in favor of Paper Currency, nearly laid aside for ever. The Irish which are nearly ready for publication, people, insist upon the Emancipation they are 6 twelve brass pounders, and of Ireland. The Emancipation of the as soon as the traverses are ready they Protestant as well as the Catholic; one
will make their public appearance ; may possess the airy authority of Cor. chambers for six hundred armed poration oratory, but the two want Unionists who are appointed to mabread, While they are mutually page the arguments, are now preparing waging a war of talk, on speculative for their reception. Bonaparte is said points, the tax-gatherers visit their to be a Tyrant, and every country counters, the soldiers beard them in which he has conquered is reported to the streets, and the Englishman car. be adverse to his Government ; yet the ries off their provisions.
saine high authorities, do not say that
any of the Banks in his dominions A few days ago, the public were
are fortified, accommodated with one of those spectacles so common in Ireland since the Dublin has a garrison of 15,000 men; Union, an immense crowd of fat bul. Paris a City of four times its extent, locks passing through town belonging has but 1500 men. The British newsto several gentlemen of the Farming writers say, that the people of France Society, on their way to England. are indignant at the Government of a The travelling cattle were escorted by. Usurper, and that the Irish are recona detachment of the starved tenantry, ciled under a legitimate Administration. of the same Patriots; the horrid com. It appears, by the military opinion parison, of fat cattle, and starved men, of the respective Governments, that made the most serious impression on Statesmen are better judges than Jourthe spectators, and the more disgust. nalists. ing institution, underwent the most severe execrations for the care it takes Yesterday a report prevailed in the to promote the comforts of brutes and city, that the MAJOR died suddenly misery of human beings.
while giving instructions to JUG
SMELLER; this alarming circum. Mr. Beresford has advertised the
stance arrived at our Office at a very sale of bis Riding House, in Marlbo- early hour this morning, and commus rough-Green. He has not told the nicated such a sensation to public where the next TAW establishe any man would feel at the loss of a ment is to be erected. Some people good customer; though the Major is imagine very reasonably, that if we
not a sincere friend of ours, yet, as build another Parliament House, a
we claim him as part of our stock in Riding House will be quite unneces
trade, his death would injure the sale sary. Either is absolutely indispensa. of our Magazine, he is a valuable ble to appease or silence the public. article and acts a principal part in our The whip has done its part pretty
monthly exhibitions. effectually, if it did not give bread, it imposed tranquillity, it made the Mr. Conway, the Secretary, at.
ich happy, and silenced the hungry, tended the whole of the last it produced the Union, it inverted week, at the Death Bed of his the proverb, for it kept the poor at little Messenger. Every effort of the', home, and sent the rich away.
pen, and the clyster, were used by
CON. and Doctor Drum-snuffle, to bumper, in a silver cup, formerly restore the poor creature to the use of Tom Braughall's; the Lord of its feet without any visible effect, the Duoro, was remembered in the same injury it received by wrestling, not taste and fulness of affection ; Jemmy with Doctor Brennan, but with Wal- O'Brien, was immortalized in a cup, ter, was so severe in the fall, and the made of Ledwich's scull set in silver; heavy band of the Big Beggarman, Mr. Cupe and Tom Reynolds, were laid such a weight on the prosirate honored in their turns, by deep animal, in the form of execution, that draughts, taken from a glazed pocket no hopes are now entertained of its of Oliver Bond's coat, cut from recovery.
his body by Tom Galvin ; the night
concluded with a classic jingling of On Tuesday last, the Pawnbroker arms, and a song in praise of the under the patronage of St. Andrew, Union. Secretary Conway, was ex. exchanged a dinner and a dozen of pected, but accounted for his absence port, with Secretary Conway, for the in an elegant epistle, as he was enthree last paragraphs in the Weekly gaged at the Major's table; this kind Messenger against the Irish Magazine. acknowledgement, gave existence to The Big money-lender, is to have a an appendix of gratitude and fraternal valuation of shifts in the ensuing feeling ; BIBLEMOUTH gave the week, after which he will be able to health of Mr. Conway, and the accommodate the Messenger man with Charter Schools of Ireland; FIREclean linen, and another banquet. THATCH
the health of Mr.
Martin of Connemara ; JUGSMELMr. Conway the Secretary, is pre- LER the memory of the late Judkin paring for the Hibernian Press Com- Fitzgerald, the taw, the knife, and pany, the Life and Memoirs of the vn. the Gospels, after which the comfortunate Mr. Parker the snuff-man, pany adjourned to the command of late of Skinner-Row. This work is their respective squads. of inspection written in real duplicate language, and and vigilance. is dedicated to St. Andrew, the patron Saint of parish Pawnbrokers.
Letters have been received by ar On the 17th of last month, when spectable Commercial Honse from Lord Wellington's accounts of his Oporto, stating, on the best authority, own affairs in Portugal arived in Dub- that the FIVĚ saddles, mentioned by lin, the Major and his party evinced the
Lord Wellington as missing, in his disgreatest demonstrations of joy. The patch of the 28th of September, hase prostrate bells of St.' Werburgh's,
been discovered in a valley near the were hung on triangles, in the Riding horses his Lordship puts in the list of
scene of action, and that one of the four House manner, and made to tell to the reputation of the conquering House of the killed, was a grey horse ; this conWellesley.
tradicts an assertion of the Major's, that described the deceased animals
as dark Bays. The evening of joy, was celebrated in extorted Whiskey by JUG-SMELLER, BIBLEMOUTH, FIRE. Immediately on the arrival of ac THATCH, and BANG-BEG. counts of the reported victory gained GAR. The toasts, were numerous, by Lord Wellington, the Major, with loyal, and religious; the Saviours of his accustomed zeal, dispatched mathe country were drank with euthusi. nuscript bulleting to such of his Corasm ; the Major was taken in a full - poration cronies as were in town wich
an account of the glorious news. The his Majorship will rescind his hasty following is a copy of one he sent to though generous
though generous determination. Alderman T
MOUTHY BERGAN, Esq. waited My dear Alderman-Our great on the Major yesterday, with an ad, friend my Lord Wellington, bas de- dress breathing the highest praises and stroyed all the French in Portugal, took the most lively attachment on the part 180,00 prisoners, killed more than of the addressers for the many services 1,400,00. Mr. Pole, told it to Sir done them, by the illustrious Cygnus Charles Saxton, who told it to Mrs. Majora and the noble Lord his friend. S- -, for I was 'out, in Kilmainham, binding three fellows to keep the By a letter received from our Core peace. Yours,
respondent in Galway, we have been THE MAJOR." informed the KITE partnership, be The letter was received by the Al. [ween Monsieur Killery and Secretary derman's Lady, for the tun-bellied loy. Catspaw the Messenger man, is disalist, like the Major, was out, in Mor. solved by mutual agreement ; and or. rison's tavern on a feeding party. Be. ders have been sent up to town, to fore the letter was sealed up, some burn all the Paper not issued at present arch wag, added a cypher to each in Peg Plunket's Coal Hole, alias the item, which made the prisoners Freehold. 180,000, and the killed 1,400,000. The good woman, was so elated with The Major is to preach a Charity this great destruction of the common Sermon on Sunday next, for the supenemy wrote the following elegant port of the children of the Dublin
Dagger Society, Subscriptions for “ Dr. Major-I am greatly rejoiced. the same benevolent and loyal purpose, My poor Uncle Alderman Tweedy, will be received by the following was a prophet, for he always said the Preachers : Mr. Gallagher the pully French would be put down by the maker, Mr. Kent the baconer, Mr. brave British at last ; it's now come Latouche, Mr. Gribbins the old to pass, for this day month the devil clothes man in Barrack-street, and a crown or half-crown, Bonaparte Drum-Major Biblemouth at the Office will have in the world, nor the devil a of Inspection. word more the traitors here will speak against the Union, nor against the re. Sir Edward Stanley, a Merchant putation of our friends, Tom Reynolds according to Corporation Law, is we or Lord Redesdale.
understand determined to embark in a Yours, till death,
very extensive line of business, and MATILDA T
Alderman Archer, another Merchant
by the same high authority is to comMajor Rowdi-dow, has testified pose part of the firm. We are assuch marks of displeasure at the dis- sured the trade of Ireland under the missal of his friend Lord A- from great spirit of the two gentlemen, will the Rd, that he threatens form a very conspicuous feature in the to resign, if his titled friend is not commercial character of modern times, immediately restored. The sensation they intend to build two great vessels, this alarming intelligence gave, has to bring Bellingham Ale, potatoes, been so much felt in the Big Hospital and Munster apples to Dublin, wind by every denomination on the esta. and weather permitting, during the blishment, that the Dagger-seat of season of brewing and baking, God the Major, is crowded every morning willing, onee in each month, for the with his brother officers, requesting benefit of all persons concerned.
Irish genius was never more distin- tial and loyal prove to the world the guished than in the person of a gentle absurdity of trusting our properties man, now in Botany Bay, his name is out of our sight, a merchant vessel Austin, an engraver by trade, formerly will always be safe from the contend. of Castle-street in Dublin, he travelled ing elements while on a rural voyage a few years ago, when Alderman to Athy, but God only knows the Archer was High Sheriff to New event if we ventured to Hindostan, a South Wales, by the advice of twelve safe trade, (as Sir Anthony King shopkeepers, and at the instigation of Knight and Alderman, said when he the Bank of Ireland. Mr. Austin navigated the Poddle) is the best trade. has invented an extraordinary and in
Our Civic Orators have decreed ano. genious RAT TRAP at Sidneyther Jubilee, by which they calculate Cove, which has had the approbation a yery profuse distribution of nick and patronage of the Governor, and
names. While the people of Dublin by him is recommended to the Society
are perishing with want, and their of Arts in England. This trap is
miseries aggravated with the Tax Ga. not stationary, it has the property of therer, they are to pay the expences following the Rats, until it snares
of drunken revelry and sordid ambi. them, and is considered of such imtion ; other balls and masquerades are portance, by its effect, that a model to produce more murders and impose of it, is now in possession of the other cxpenditures. The mercenary MAJOR, Mr. Austin proposes to and the magistrate are again to assist come to Dublin to explain its superior each other, that vulgar ladies and efficacy to any other Rat Trap, which bankrupt gentlemen may squander the we hope will be quickly done, as Mr.
wages of their servitude, while the Austin has his two brothers-in-law at
the present in high official authority, and intimidated to keep within their re
expences are to be possessed of great consideration in
spective dwellings. Dublin. The Corporation of Merchants of
The people of Dublin are in fu.
ture to be distinguished into two deDublin in a true commercial spirit, have entered into a resolution, in ac.
scripstions, the Knights and the Mob.
There will be no female among our knowledgement of the patriotic conduct of Sir Edward Stanley, to build dran, to bottle spruce, or to gụage a
Orange friends, either to measure a at their sole expense a handsome vessel of forty tons burthen, to be called the garter, under the rank of my Lady, Sir Edward, she is intended to navigate nignity of a Knight or a Baronet.
nor a stupid Alderman under the dig. the Grand Canal waters to Monastereven, and the command of her is to be Lettershave been dispatched to Major given to another Great Merchant of dis- Sandy's at Lucan inviting him to take tinguished Commercial enterprize and
a title and a dinner at the Jubilee feast, civic eloquence, Sir William Sutton the Major received the invitation while the Tape Wearer.
busily engaged on the value and pro. Inviduous and desperate charac. perties of a bullocks kidney, with his ters have industriously insinuated that adversary the muttou man, the happy our merchants, build no ships, as intelligence gave him such flattering none
have been launched in our encouragement, that he added a few port of Dublin, distined for foreign tripes to his bargain and adjourned to trade since the Union, except one, of the cheerful banquet, to repair his 130 tons, the profligacy of such men strength and his shoes, preparatory to is best understood, when the impar- his journey to Dublin.
JACK SQUINTUM—AND DR. DRUMSNUFFLE. So Dr. have you read that pretty com- action, 'for my brother says - truthi is an position?
aggravation of libel. DR. DRUMSNUFFLE.
DOCTOR. Do you mean the Irish Magazine ? in- Well then you have read it, though you deed I have, really I laugh at it. You
say you did not. know Cox is a fellow of humour, and
JACK . describes certain characters admirably, but 'Pon he is only good at one point.
honor, as a gentleman, I never did, but I merely suspect what the rascal would
say, for I know the fellow's vil. That is I suppose, in describing Doctor's lainy to be capable of any thing. who are snuff-box orators. Ha! ha! Doc
DOCTOR. tor I mean nothing personal-'pon my how As to what he says of me I am above nor I do not.
it, the worst any man can say of me is, that I am
who speaks the plain No, No, No, No, Sir Jonathan Squin- downright right fact, and care nothing tum. I say Cox has humour, and I shall for any man. prove it to you; first I will prove it to
JACK. you by syllogism, then I will prove it to
Why did you run to hide when Keog! you by circumbendibus, and then I shall said he knew Catholicus Ipse? prove it to you by argumentum ad homnien.
Why did you and your brother write of Catholicus Ipse, in Watty's last Chro
Nestor's Feast ? and why did you drink nicle?
tea at Keogh's the evening after ?
JACK. JACK. I give you my honor as a gentleman, Dr. as a friend, I tell you, upon my hothat I read the whole Magazine, and that nour you are mistaken, I wrote é. l. has escaped me.
J. B. C. and some other tbings; but DOCTOR.
though Nestor's feast be one of the best Really and upon my honor, I would not
things I ever read, I am ready to swear hurt the feelings of any man, much less
upon the Holy Evangelists, that I never
wrote it. a gentleman, but I really thougaat you must have read it, or I would not speak
DOCTOR. to you about it.
Some people said I wrote it, but I de. JACK .
nied it, as too low for my rank as a writer; Upon my honor I never read things of there were strokes of hint against old the kind, they are below notice-do you Keogh that were really master touchessuppose I could read any thing written the inuendo was in the gusto of Conway, by a fellow like Cox, who is not worth and the colouring of gutter that was put the price of a pot of porter? But the on old Keogh, was by the hand of a matter you allude to is so low, so vulgar master, I heard Counsellor Scully say, in its stile, so mean in its diction, so ras- that there was not a man in Ireland able cally in its reflection, 80 villainous in its to do the characters of that piece, but charges, so impudent in its freedom, and the man who did it and himself. so altogether forgetful of the distance between a gentleman and a fellow like
Did he say that ? Scully is a fellow of Cox, that really, if Cox was not a trades
low birthi, lower talent, and the lowest man and beneath me, I would send him a
chicane he is a high fellow in his manner, message for his conduct ; for Sir, if such vagabonds are allowed to exist, a gentle highest fellow of all low scoundrels; the
he is higher in his assump:ion, and he is the man cannot walk the streets of Dublin.
man who wrote that, is as much above DOCTOR.
him, as one of his father's bullocks is You were hardly used, and I really con- above the mouse that eat my breeches sidered your case worse than my own. pocket last night for the crumbs in it; but
I would not lower myself by comparing Ten times worse, did not he say that my radiant accomplishinents with the varI was a beggar, and by G- I'll take my nishing of a Munster coxcomb. NOVEMBER, 1810.