Графични страници
PDF файл
[ocr errors]

bottom of white pebble-stone. My attention was at once turned to know from whence came the beautiful stream. From the make of ground round about, I concluded the fountain must be near, and observing a large log by the side of the way--with much difficulty I'availed myself of its height, that I'might the better discover the fountain which I imagined was near. But to my great surprise I could discover nothing of the fountain only I perceived that the water proceeded from the log upon which I stood. The log appeared to be large, and it appeared that it was the part of a tree cut off above and below the branches. One of the branches had been smitten with an axe, and a block was taken out, and though the log apparently had lain in that place for many years, and was apparently dry and uncomely as-a root out of dry ground, yet from the branch and place that was smitten proceeded the chrystal stream. It appeared in my dream that after leaving this place, I found myself standing on the shore of a large body of agitated water.Here I discovered many ships--they were all of one size, and were black like ships of war. They were anchored and came not near each other. Whilst I was looking at the vessels and the men on board, I discovered a distant shore, and with that I discovered two lights.. The lights, each of them, appeared to be the bigness of the sun. The country which I discovered on the other side of the water ap-

peared to be beautifully situated and enjoyed The light, (as I thought at first) of two luminaries at one time. I then thought again that one must be the true sun, and the other must be but a reflection of the true light, and that it denoted a storm, and accordingly I gave the last conjecture to my fellow travellers as my opinion. My companions now spoke to me for the first time: until now they had treated me with the greatest indifference, and they had not manifested the least degree of curiosity, neither had they sympathised with me in any thing that had passed. One of them asked me if I was resolved to go to that country ; to whom I replied yes : as soon as I can be permitted. I understood that these vessels were all bound for the other shore and were for passengers, but I did not like them.

Until now, I had led the way, but my companions now led off, and I followed them. I was soon introduced into company with whom I felt the sweetest love and union. It appeared that they all dwelt in one house, but as the house was without windows, it was without light, besides that it was very dirty. I informed them that I must leave them, for I could not live in so dark and so dirty a place. They all began to persuade me, to tarry with them, many tears were shed on the occasion, my heart was affected at the thought of leaving them, but I was bent on my departure, as felt a necessity to leave the place. After we had tenderly embraced each other, (as it ap

peared), I left the house. I had not proceeda ed far when I looked behind me, and saw several persons following after me, at a little distance, but they did not come up with me. As I lost sight of them, my dream ended, and I awoke, and as I awoke, my ears were saluted with the most beautiful singing that I ever heard.

When I considered on the vision, I remark. ed in my mind, that it was singular, but I was not able to imagine any thing, that the dream should mean. What I understand by this vision, I shall record hereafter as it took place.

[merged small][ocr errors][merged small]
[ocr errors]

Religious resolutions first publicly manifested and a confirmation of God's loving kindness-Trials of mind about baptism and attachment to society-Visionary instructions by night-preaching, with fears as to communion of bread and wine-and church liberties, found to be bondage-too frequent abuse of texts by a misapplication, with the rash and inconsiderate use of psalms and hymns.

SOME parts of the above mentioned vision continued in my mind for several days, and then it was gone from my mind, as much as if there had been no such thing passed. I still felt resolved, as I had before determined, to reform my life, and by the assistance of the Lord, to live anew. A number of weeks had passed, when I first began to feel a change in

[ocr errors][ocr errors]

my mind, so far that I saw a beauty and excellency in the character of God. When I obtained this discovery, I obtained a humiliating notion of myself, and as I was brought to see the beauty and goodness of God, I felt as if I was one of the most ungrateful creatures that ever lived. I obtained a fear towards God, without a slavish fear, or a fear of punishment, and a love with humility. I began to feel it my duty to confess Christ publicly to the world, but this was very crossing to my mind. I thought the very minute that I should make public pretensions, or profess myself to be religiously inclined, I should become a mark for the world to look at, and if I did not live better than thousands who

pretended to advocate the good cause, I should only disgrace myself, and crucify my Lord afresh, and put him to shame. The impression which was in my mind, to make a public profession continued to follow me by night and by day, so that at last I became determined in my mind, to declare my feelings in the first christian congregation, which might fall in my way, and accordingly for the first time, I attended meeting for that very purpose. But who can tell the feelings of my heart when I came to the place? The adversary strove hard, to break my resolutions, and thereby slay me, as he had many times before. The house was filled with people, and those whom I accounted as the first class in the society of the world, to whom I had an inclination to

think myself not inferior. This was a trying place to me, for not one person in the room had the least knowledge of my intentions, even my wife, who was present, was ignorant of the purpose for which I had come to that meeting. I felt a reasoning within my heart that I had better go from the place, without exposing myself, and shew out my religion, by first leaving it home. But when I thought of leaving the place in silence, it appeared to me that the enemy of my soul would gain a complete victory over me thereby. Now appeared to me to be the time, and the only time to put into execution that which I had been promising to the Lord for many years, namely, a reformation of life.

I sat measureably contented and easy, until the meeting was about to end; when it seemed to me, as if Heaven or Hell, was depending on the choice I should make in a minute oftime. The thought of having it said that “Saul” is "among the Prophets," seemed to be a cross, heavier than I could bear. But at last I arose and declared to the congregation that I felt the need of a saviour. I exhorted the people to repentance, and requested the prayers of all christian people for me. I felt a degree of resignation to the loss of the world immediately. My mind became measurably easy,and I left the place that evening with a great desire that the Lord would impart to me a deeper knowledge of himself, and let me know my sins forgiven. The language of my heart was,

« ПредишнаНапред »