remained equally inflexible, and her steady answer was as CHA P. before-" That, dreadful as appeared the fatal separation, 66 66 perhaps never more to meet, yet she could not but prefer remaining in Surinam: first, from a consciousness "that, with propriety, she had not the disposal of herself; "and, secondly, from pride, wishing in her present con“dition rather to be one of the first among her own class "in America, than a reflection or burthen on me in Eu 66 rope, as she was convinced must be the case, unless our "circumstances became one day more independent." Here Joanna shewed great emotion, but immediately retired to weep in private.-What could I say or do?— -Not knowing how to answer, or sufficiently to admire her firmness and resignation, which so greatly exceeded my own, I determined, if possible, to imitate her conduct, and calmly to resign myself to my fate, preparing for the fatal moment, when my heart forebode me we were to pronounce the LAST ADIEU, and separate for ever. "Zaïre, il est trop vrai que l'honneur me l'ordonne, The whole corps being ordered, at seven o'clock on the morning of the 27th, to wait on Colonel Fourgeoud at the head quarters, I tore myself away from all that was dear to me in this world without disturbing them, in order to prevent XXIX. XXIX. CHA P. prevent the tender scene of parting. He then conducted us to the water side, where the boats lay in waiting; and we were immediately embarked, under a general salute, and colours flying, from the fortress and the vessels in the roads. The whole corps now having dined on board the staff-ship with Lieutenant Colonel de Borgnes, Colonel Fourgeoud politely invited me to accompany him back to town till next morning; but which, with a broken heart, I thought best to decline. He then took his final leave, and wishing us all a safe and prosperous voyage to Europe, he returned under a salute of nine guns and three cheers, with Captain Van Geurike, his adjutant, back to Paramaribo. On the 29th of March, at midnight, the signal-gun being fired, the two ships got under way, and dropped down till before the fortress New Amsterdam, where they once more came to an anchor. Here my friends Gordon and Gourlay, the guardians of my boy, after the convivial Colonel Seyburg (for such he certainly was) had entertained them on board his vessel, the Hollandia, affectionately coming to visit me, they did no less than actually prevail on me to accompany them back to Paramaribo. My soul could not resist this second invitation of once more beholding what was so dear to me. -I went, and, must I say it?-found Joanna, who had displayed so much fortitude in my presence, now bathing in tears, and scarcely alive, so much was she become the 1 the victim of melancholy and despair. Nor had she The ships not being quite ready to go to sea till two days after, I was prevailed upon to stay on shore a little longer, with poor Joanna and her boy, which seemed to cheer her: But, alas! too dear we paid for this too short reprieve! since, but few hours had elapsed, when a sailor abruptly came in, with the message that the ship's boat lay in waiting that minute to carry me on board.—At that instant - Heavens! what were my feelings!-Joanna's mother took the infant from her arms, the all-worthy Mrs. Godefroy supporting herself her brothers and sisters hung around me, crying, and invoking Heaven aloud for my safety while the unfortunate Joanna (now but nineteen) gazing on me, and holding me by the hand, with a look ten thousand times more dejected than Sterne's Maria,-was unable to utter one word!!!——I perceived she was distracted-the hour was come-I exchanged a ringlet of their hair, and fondly pressed them both to my bosom :-the power of speech also forsook me, and my heart tacitly invoked the protection of Providence to befriend them.-Joanna now shut her beauteous eyes-her lips turned the pale colour of death-she bowed her head, and motionless sunk in the arms of HER ADOPTED MOTHER- Here I roused all my remaining fortitude, VOL. II. 3 E CHA P. XXIX. CHAP. fortitude, and leaving them surrounded by every care and attention departed, and bid GOD BLESS THEM!!! XXIX. The boat still delaying a few moments, I now stepped up to poor Fourgeoud, surrounded by my friends, and grasping his veteran hand, I could not, for my soul, but forgive him all the hardships he had ever occasioned me.—He was affected. This was a debt he owed me. - I wished him every good, and finally rowed down the river Surinam. At this time the ships were riding off Bram's Point, where Mr. Texier, the deputy governor, came on board to wish us a prosperous voyage; and, after dinner, under a salute of seven guns, together with Captains Small and Fredericy, who had accompanied me hither, he returned back to Paramaribo. CHAP. XXX. The Ships weigh Anchor, and put to Sea-Review of the E XXX. VERY thing being at last perfectly adjusted for our CHA P. departure, both vessels, under the command of Lieutenant Colonel de Borgnes, weighed anchor on the morning of the 1st of April, 1777, when, with a fresh breeze at E. we put to sea, and kept course N. and N. W.— Motionless and speechless, I hung over the ship's stern till the land quite disappeared. After some days, however, by considerable exertions, I got the better of my melancholy, though not of my affection, and my mind became once more composed and calm. What chiefly contributed to the restoring of my peace, was the comfortable reflection, that if I had in some measure injured myself, I had at least done good to a few others, by relieving three* innocent and deserving young people from a state of |