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grow rude and fawcy on a fudden, and beyond your ufual Behaviour, until he findeth it neceffary to turn you off; and when you are goné, to revenge yourfelf, give him and his Lady fuch a Character to all your Brother-fervants, who are out of Place, that none will venture to offer their Service.

Some nice Ladies, who are afraid of catching Cold, having obferved that the Maids and Fellows below Stairs, often forget to shut the Door after them, as they come in or go out into the back Yards, have contrived that a Pulley and Rope, with a large Piece of Lead at the End, fhould be fo fixed, as to make the Door shut of itself, and require a strong Hand to open it, which is an immenfe Toil to poor Servants, whose Business may force them to go in and out fifty Times in a Morning: But Ingenuity can do much; for prudent Servants have found out an effectual Remedy against this infupportable Grievance, by tying up the Pulley, in fuch a Manner, that the Weight of the Lead will have no Effect: However, as to my own Part, I would rather chufe to keep the Door always open, by laying a heavy Stone at the Bottom of it.

The Servants Candlesticks are generally broken, for nothing can laft for ever: But, you may find many Expedients; you may conveniently stick your Candle in a Bottle, or with a Lump of Butter against the Wainscot, in a Powder-horn, or in an old Shoe, or in a

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cleft Stick, or in the Barrel of a Pistol, or upon its own Greafe on a Table, in a Coffeecup or a drinking Glafs, a Horn-can, a TeaPot, a twifted Napkin, a Muftard Pot, an Inkhorn, a Marrowbone, a Piece of Dough, or you may cut a Hole in a Loaf and stick it there.

When you invite the neighbouring Servants to junket with you at home in an Evening, teach them a particular Way of tapping or fcraping at the Kitchen Window, which you may hear, but not your Mafter or Lady, whom you must take Care not to disturb or frighten at fuch unreasonable Hours.

Lay all Faults on a Lap-dog, a favourite Cat, a Monkey, a Parrot, a Magpye, a Child, or on the Servant who was laft turned off: By this Rule you will excufe yourself, do no Hurt to any Body else, and fave your Mafter and Lady the Trouble and Vexation of chiding. When you want proper Inftruments for any Work you are about, ufe all Expedients you. can invent, rather than leave your Work undone. For Inftance: If the Poker be out of the Way, or broken, ftir up the Fire with the Tongs; if the Tongs are not at hand, use the Muzzle of the Bellows, the wrong End of the Fire Shovel, the Handle of the Fire Brush, the End of a Mop, or your Master's Cane. If you want Paper to finge a Fowl, tear the firft Book you fee about the House. Wipe your Shoes, for want of a Clout, with the

Bottom

Bottom of a Curtain, or a Damask Napkin. Strip your Livery Lace for Garters. If the Butler wanteth a Jordan, in cafe of need, he' may ufe the ufe the great Silver Cup.

There are feveral Ways of putting out Candles, and you ought to be inftructed in them all: You may run the Candle-end against the Wainscot, which puts the Snuff out immediately; you may lay it on the Ground, and tread the Snuff out with your Foot; you may hold it upfide down, until it is choaked with its own Grease, or cram it into the Socket of the Candlestick; you may whirl it round in your Hand, until it goeth out; when you go to Bed, after you have made Water, you may dip your Candle-end into the Chamber Pot; you may fpit on your Finger and Thumb, and pinch the Snuff until it goeth out. The Cook. may run the Candle's Nofe into the Meal Tub; or the Groom into a Veffel of Oats, or a Lock of Hay, or a Heap of Litter. The HoufeMaid may put out her Candle, by running it againft a Looking-glafs, which nothing cleaneth fo well as Candle-Snuff. But the quickest and beft of all Methods, is to blow it out with your Breath, which leaves the Candle clear, and readier to be lighted.

There is nothing fo pernicious in Families as a Tell-Tale, against whom it must be the principal Business of you all to unite : Whatever Office he ferveth in, take all Opportunities to spoil the Business he is about, and cross

him in every Thing. For Inftance: If the Butler be the Tell-Tale, break, his Glaffes whenever he leaves the Pantry open; or lock the Cat or the Mastiff in it, who will do as well; miflay a Fork, or a Spoon, fo as he may never find it. If it be the Cook, whenever the turneth her Back, throw a Lump of Soot, or a Handful of Salt, in the Pot, or fmoaking Coals into the Dripping Pan, or daub the roaft Meat with the Back of the Chimney, or hide the Key of the Jack. If a Footman be fufpected, let the Cook daub the Back of his new Livery; or when he is going up with a Difh of Soup, let her follow him foftly with a Ladle full, and drible it all the Way up Stairs to the Dining-Room Door; and then let the House Maid make fuch a Noife, that her Lady may hear it. The Waiting-Maid is very likely to be guilty of this Fault, in hopes to ingratiate herself. In this Cafe, the Laundrefs must be fure to tear her Smocks in the washing, and yet wash them but half; and, when the complaineth, tell all the House, that fhe fweateth fo much, and her Flesh is fo nafty, that fhe fouleth her Smock more in an Hour, than the Kitchen Maid doth in a Week.

DIRECTIONS

DIRECTIONS

N

то

SERVANTS.

CHAPTER I.

DIRECTIONS to the BUTLER.

my Directions to Servants, I find from my long Obfervation, that principal Party concerned.

you, Butler, are the

Your Bufinefs being of the greatest Variety, and requiring the greatest Exactnefs, I fhall, as well as I can recollect, run through the several Branches of your Office, and order my Inftruc tions accordingly.

In waiting at the Side-board, take all poffible Care to fave your own Trouble, and your Mafter's Drinking Glaffes: Therefore, first, fince those who dine at the fame Table are fupposed to be Friends, let them all drink out of the fame Glass without washing, which will fave you much Pains, as well as the Hazard of breaking them; give no Perfon any Liquor unVOL. VIII. Ꭰ

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