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Then where? from whom? what can I steal, 21
Who only with the moderns deal ?
This were attempting to put on
Raiment from naked bodies won: 1
They safely sing before a thief,
They cannot give who want relief;
Some few excepted, names well known,
And justly laureld with renown,
Whose stamp of genius marks their ware,
And theft detects: of theft beware;
From More 2 so lashed, example fit,
Shun petty larceny in wit.


First know, my friend, I do not mean
To write a treatise on the Spleen;
Nor to prescribe when nerves convulse;
Nor mend the alarum watch, your pulse.
If I am right, your question lay,
What course I take to drive away
The day-mare Spleen, by whose false pleas
Men prove mere suicides in ease;
And how I do myself demean
In stormy world to live serene.


When by its magic lantern Spleen
With frightful figures spread life's scene,
And threatening prospects urged my fears,
A stranger to the luck of heirs;
Reason, some quiet to restore,
Showed part was substance, shadow more;

" A painted vest Prince Vortiger had on,
Which from a naked Pict his grandsire won.

HOWARD'S British Princes. James More Smith, Esq. See Dunciad, B. ii. 1. 50, and the notes, where the circumstances of the transaction here alluded to are very fully explained.

With Spleen's dead weight though heavy grown, In life's rough tide I sunk not down,

50 But swam, 'till Fortune threw a rope, Buoyant on bladders filled with hope.

I always choose the plainest food
To mend viscidity of blood.
Hail! water-gruel, healing power,
Of easy access to the poor;
Thy help love's cónfessors implore,
And doctors secretly adore;
To thee I fly, by thee dilute-
Through veins my blood doth quicker shoot,
And by swift current throws off clean
Prolific particles of Spleen.


I never sick by drinking grow,
Nor keep myself a cup too low,
And seldom Chloe's lodgings haunt,
Thirsty of spirits which I want.


Hunting I reckon very good
To brace the nerves, and stir the blood:
But after no field honours itch,
Achieved by leaping hedge and ditch.
While Spleen lies soft relaxed in bed,
Or o'er coal fire inclines the head,
Hygeia's sons with hound and horn,
And jovial cry awake the Morn.
These see her from the dusky plight,
Smeared by th’ embraces of the Night,
With roral wash redeem her face,
And prove herself of Titan's race,
And, mounting in loose robes the skies,


Shed light and fragrance as she flies.
Then horse and hound fierce joy display,
Exulting at the hark-away,
And in pursuit o'er tainted ground
From lungs robust field-notes resound.
Then, as St George the dragon slew,
Spleen pierced, trod down, and dying view;
While all their spirits are on wing,
And woods, and hills, and valleys ring.


To cure the mind's wrong bias, Spleen,
Some recommend the bowling green;
Some, hilly walks; all, exercise;
Fling but a stone, the giant dies.
Laugh and be well. Monkeys have been
Extreme good doctors for the Spleen;
And kitten, if the humour hit,
Has harlequin'd away the fit.



Since mirth is good in this behalf,
At some partic'lars let us laugh.
Witlings, brisk fools, cursed with half sense,
That stimulates their impotence;
Who buzz in rhyme, and, like blind flies,
Err with their wings for want of
Poor authors worshipping a calf,
Deep tragedies that make us laugh,
A strict dissenter saying grace,
A lecturer preaching for a place,
Folks, things prophetic to dispense,
Making the past the future tense,
The popish dubbing of a priest,
Fine epitaphs on knaves deceased,
Green-apron'd Pythonissa’s rage,

110 112

Great Æsculapius on his stage,
A miser starving to be rich,
The prior of Newgate's dying speech,
A jointured widow's ritual state,
Two Jews disputing tête-à-tête,
New almanacs composed by seers,
Experiments on felons' ears,
Disdainful prudes, who ceaseless ply
The superb muscle of the eye,
A coquette's April-weather face,
A Queenb'rough mayor behind his mace
And fops in military show,
Are sovereign for the case in view.


If spleen-fogs rise at close of day,
I clear my evening with a play,
Or to some concert take my way.
The company, the shine of lights,
The scenes of humour, music's flights,
Adjust and set the soul to rights.


Life's moving pictures, well-wrought plays,
To others' grief attention raise:
Here, while the tragic fictions glow,
We borrow joy by pitying woe;
There gaily comic scenes delight,
And hold true mirrors to our sight.
Virtue, in charming dress array'd,
Calling the passions to her aid,
When moral scenes just actions join,
Takes shape, and shows her face divine.


Music has charms, we all may find, Ingratiate deeply with the mind.

When art does sound's high power advance, 143
To music's pipe the passions dance;
Motions unwill’d its powers have shown,
Tarantulated by a tune.
Many have held the soul to be
Nearly allied to harmony.
Her have I known indulging grief,
And shunning company's relief,
Unveil her face, and looking round,
Own, by neglecting sorrow's wound,
The consanguinity of sound.



In rainy days keep double guard,
Or Spleen will surely be too hard;
Which, like those fish by sailors met,
Fly highest, while their wings are wet.
In such dull weather, so unfit
To enterprise a work of wit,
When clouds one yard of azure sky,
That's fit for simile, deny,
I dress my face with studious looks,
And shorten tedious hours with books.
But if dull fogs invade the head,
That memory minds not what is read,
I sit in window dry as ark,
And on the drowning world remark:
Or to some coffee-house I stray
For news, the manna of a day,
And from the hipp'd discourses gather,
That politics go by the weather:
Then seek good-humour'd tavern churns,
And play at cards, but for small sums;
Or with the merry fellows quaff,
And laugh aloud with them that laugh;


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