HUME, MARTIN, AND CANNING.

The Whiggery of England is bad, because it is cold, sulky, and hypocritical: the Whiggery of London is worse, because it is cockneyfied into the bargain; but the Whiggery of Scotland is contemptible, and nothing but contemptible. It has never yet sent into Parliament one man of more than fifth-rate talents. Dr Joseph Hume, Lord Archibald Hamilton, and Mr Thomas Kennedy, are at present its tria lumina !!! But the Whiggery of Edinburgh is a subject more especially fit to be spit upon, and that for three excellent reasons: Firstly, it is the quackery of mere fools; secondly, it is the quackery of poor fools; and thirdly, it is the quackery of false fools We say mere fools, because in a few years there is not one of them whose name will be remembered, except as being borne, perhaps, by some patre stulto filius stultior. We say poor fools, because they are, for the most part, poor, misers. ble, powerless creatures, holding no visible connexion with, nor exerting apy shadow of authority over any perceptible part of the British population: a set of slavish, sneaking attorneys, and pert, pragmatical barristers--who, if they were transplanted to-morrow in a body to Botany Bay, could scarcely, among them ally muster money enough to bring five fields into cultivation, or manners enough to overawe five felons-and, most assuredly, not manhood enough to fight fire kangaroos. Thirdly, we say they are false fools ; and this, each man, or ratha each thing of them, in his secret chamber, confesses to himself: and this all the world acknowledges and avows, because all the world knows-that they abuse infidelity, and yet swear by a pack of Infidel Reviewers--that they abuse indecency, and yet subscribed for Hone that they presume to call themselves gentlemen, and yet but least suid is soonest mended, and we leave them to gulp a blank.

We throw out these hints by way of relieving our readers from any fears of being much troubled by us with any farther allusions to the degraded dregs of the Whig faction here at our elbows. The truth is, that we intended to give them a slight dressing, when we took our pen into our hand; but a little good-natured pamphlet has lain on our table these two or three weeks, which may spare us the trouble of writing an article, and our readers the pain of reading a splenetic one.

We are surprised that this beautiful little quarto did not reach us several months ago ; but being sure that the Whigs of Edinburgh have not seen it any more than ourselves, we willingly dedicate a page or two to a few extraets.

The poem, which is an exceedingly clever imitation of the New Bath Guide, gives a ludicrous account of the miseries of a modern M. P. Of these, of course, one of the chief is the occasional necessity of listening to Joseph Hume, Esq. that great Adam Smith of the radical interest. It is thus the Poet, who, having retired to take a cup of tea with our friend Lord Fife, and so hoped to escape this bore, describes his sensations-on finding the Montrose Doctor still prosing when he comes back to the House. “Though for more than one hour I've been taking French leave, To give both mind and ears a much-wanted reprieve, I find one, whom I left speaking, still on his legs; (Yet I've thrice drain’d the tea-pot, with Fife, to the dregs— Fife, whose heart has been fashion'd with nature's best oreFife, who loves his King much, but his country still more.)

• The Debate and Division : An Epistle, in Verse. London, 1821. 4to. pp. 44.

anning still leans his head on his finger and thumb, doissa 472 ondonderry still smiles-still Brag Vhile the Speaker, except when he's whisp'ring to Knox, mais autoa eems as

is woe-begone quite, as if jamm'd in the stocks. hough you've no place secured, you may sit at your ease, Where the long file of names represents absentees. hen our hero sometimes, if you'll give him but due rope, and a 1 the course of two hours takes you all over Europe ! palink, vinnakshati nd bewilders each auditor, saint, sage, or dunce, dette va biela data y discussing at least twenty subjects at once. She neglect of poor Ireland--the fall in her staples

he nefarious designs of vile despots on Naplessitat jaints the Manchester carnage-renews his attacks on Hay— xona

rides from Parga to Mexico, Norway and Saxony; nd at length compares Castlereagh’s Irish atrocities Fith Napoleon's mild reign.-", how grievous a loss it is, perhat the greatest of monarchs, who never unfurl'de 1982*** dollar Nar's standard, except to give peace to the world

; ut porra zastur og start, Whom for one I shall ever name Emp'ror of France), dode to ictor always by skill, vanquish'd only by chance, lyhom my learned friend taunted just now as ambitious, purity hoodigali gut in whom e'en that fault almost ceased to be viciousHere a murmur)-“Yes, yes, I repeat it again!

As Tygoda venen en ne, who march'd into Germany, Russia, and Spain,

Ertelet gestio o diffuse the rich blessings of order and freedom, ut Page y an act of injustice, whose grossness strikes me dumb, sada una

hould be sent to that sterile bleak rock, St Helena.zubulge og balanse --Just before a staunch patriot could serve a subpæna,) there no wretch would, by choice, were he ever so or, go ! Viristyfraisesta

ecollect, too, the barbarous outrage on Gourgaud !Base pitage Tow the Noble Lord's satellites bullied and kick'd him ! le loro ansa -klim, that horrible Alien Act's ill-fated victim !

nd, Sir, here I must say, that, unless to go on you meant แa f1f63 MH05. Bศนา ) ayn the same mad career, you'd destroy that vile monument if the system so foul,” —(here the cote-gauche cheers) Which was blindly pursued during fifty dire years? But if lo

ir, the Noble Lord smiles ! he should blush, since his name, it smeltet bufor his share in these crimes, shall be branded with shame jausmas benduare bind I'd say, (were I gifted like Grattan or Flood;) Chat in Ireland's sad page, 'tis recorded in blood !

Toidunt u aanbiete hear Gentlemen cough!—be assured, Mr Speaker, f they murmur once more,

I shall keep them a week here! inga had something to charge Sir Nathaniel Conant with, disini debog And to dwell on the harshness our Viceroy treats Zant with, dhe blood shed by the crew of a custom-house cutterChe immense falling off in our exports of butter

cutter Treni doist w The fell massacres sanction'd in Greece by the Porte,

Jeasons fordibuente
The insidious dispatch of Sir William A'Court, * To History
Whom, I doubt not, instructions from home most disgraceful, per assisk
bisent to aid the old Monarch, that perjured and base fool:
Fibir, to whom does John Bull, that vile print! owe its great rungo cat de casting

Who arrays all his powers against Liberty's standard ? tabi ng katawan Slide tester
And by whom is our Queen still degraded and slander'd?
Sir, the crimes of the Noble Lord in the blue ribbon
Must be traced, not by me, but by some future Gibbon !
I could scarce recount'all, had I twenty loud tongues !
And at present a grievous complaint on the lungs

1990 asd sgodwin Aiheisables me wholly from speaking'asirengthength, gris bid na vaš odwestra Here Lord Binning

and Holmes scarce suppress a loud laugh, is fada I OST for his speech had just lasted an hour and a half )

The coup

« Sir, I can't wish the Noble Lord joy on his levity;
I perhaps owe the House an excuse for my brevity;
Some allowance is due to the state of my chest;
I shall now only enter my solemn protest
'Gainst a system too base and destructive to last,
And the Noble Lord's acts, present, future, or past !"

Thus concludes his brief speech: and the choice friends who heard it,
More especially Wilson, Wood, Hobhouse and Burdett,
Most obligingly wedge a faint cry of “ hear, hear,” in
Which the Chronicle next day reports as “loud cheering!”
Then follow, Peel, Tierney, and some other orators, equally well hit off.

ďæil of the House, between the conclusion of the speech of Tierney and the uprising of Jack Martin of Galway, is capital.

Now the morning's first beam feebly tinges the skies
Just as Tierney sits down, you perceive the sun rise;
And, should Phoebus look on, o how motley a crew,
Which the House at that moment presents to his view !
Smiling-frowning---pale-Aush'd - list’ning-whispering-sunk
Into sleep most profound: many sober: one drunk:
Some, half-roused, with their eyes staring out of their sockets;
Others stand at the door, with their hands in their pockets ;
Some are coughing, some yawning, some loll at their ease :
L. L. D.'s, F. R. S.'s, B. A.'s, K. C. B.'s,
Placemen, Bankers, Beaux, Admirals, Lawyers, (too numerous);
Old and young; handsome, plain; rich and poor; dull and humorous;
Here a saint, there a rake-here a fop, there a sloven
Overpower'd, as if kiln-dried, or baked in an oven;
For the heat's so intense, (though they're anxious to ventilatę,)
That for one who comes early, there always are twenty late.
But the change which must cause the most wonder to Phæbus,
(Since I'm scribbling so freely de omnibus rebus,)
Is to see, that, instead of gay spruce evening suits,
All the Cabinet Ministers come down in boots :
Londonderry himself, during two busy Sessions,
Very often appear'd in knee-breeches and Hessians ;
Nay, in proof of their dignified, stern independence,
Many scores wear their hats, during each night's attendance,
Whilst they loll in their seats; but, the most zealous lover
Of this right so refined, must, when rising, uncover.

Tierney ends, (having laid down, for two hours, the law,)
Amid shouts of “ Hear, hear! Question, question! Withdraw !”
When, lo! Mirtin of Galway gets up to explain,
Clasps his hands, looks around him again and again ;
Shrugs, where diffidence, grace, and decision combine,
Are as much thrown away, as pearls cast before swine;
So he stands erect, frowning, with both fists akimbo,
Till at last e'en the Whigs keep their tongues all in limbo;
He's no fav’rite with them ; very few so expert as he
To upbraid them, when wanting in patience and courtesy.
6 The Whig Chesterfields* yonder lose more time in coughing,
Than, if civilly heard, I'd myself let 'em off in ;
They shall lead me at once, if they please, to the block,
If for more than two minutes I speak, by the clock;
All attempts will be useless, to silence or flurry;
But if gentlemen please, I'm in no kind of hurry;
If they wish to cough on, for the sake of delay,
I've no sort of objection to stand here all day;

* An ironicat allusion to their proverbial unpoliteness.

But of this be assured, that I'll make good my right gris troll story
To explain, if I keep them all barking till night

.. nola ais ar MASY The Right Hon'rable Gentleman, much to his credit, (I for one, went along with him quite, when he said it,) Has confessed, that the Whigs, though not pining for place, tous

itu Would, if sent for, come in, with a very good grace : Sir, this fact, (though some patriots have angrily scouted it) Is so clear that the country has never once doubted it; And the public becomes more convinced every day, That they've all got the will, though they can't find the way. But I own, that it quite struck me all of a heap, When he said, the Whigs hold loaves and fishes so cheap; bent van And I think that one's infatuation would border” – (Order, order! Hear, hear!)—“Sir, am I out of order ?" (Question, question!)—“I wonder what gentlemen mean! I'm not going to say one single word on the QueenWhat I meant, sir, was this : I'm explaining, that they Should to Coventry send my Lords Grenville and Grey ; Since the folly of these two great Statesmen and Co. Kept them all out of office just nine years ago, When they might have walk'd over the course with such ease; But these Doctors so learn'd had a row about fees, And took huff, when his Majesty dared to prohibit 'em From discharging his other physicians ad libitum :* So the King (then Prince Regent) was left to the quacks, Whom now the Right Hon'rable Member attacks

Most unfairly : for surely the whole of the sin is theirs, 76 If the noble Lord here and his colleagues are Ministers:

If a patient can't get Dr Tierney, t indeed he
Can't be blamed, for, in self-defence, calling in Eady.
Sir, the administration undoubtedly owes
Very much to itself, but still more to its foes;
Who, by party invectives and mischievous votes,
May be said to have more than once cut their own throats.”

The House laughs; but the Whigs don't quite relish the joke:
Mr Lambton-"- to order !”-loud cries of " Spoke, spoke !"
M.“Sir, this rudeness”—L. “Sir, no human patience can bear;
These disorderly taunts”_"M. I appeal to the chair.”
Now the Speaker, who sees them exchange a dark frown,
Amid cries of “ Chair, chair !” beckons both to sit down :
Bland and courteous, like Nestor, who sooth'd Agamemnon
And Achilles, without proper cause he d condemn none:
“The Hon’rable Member who claims my protection,
I am sure will allow, on a moment's reflection,
That he long since has greatly exceeded the latitude
Which the House”—“ Sir, I bow; and with cordial gratitude
For the candid indulgence with which I've been heard—”.
(Question ! spoke !) * I beg pardon, and shan't add a word.”

Jack, as usual, sits down, amidst an uproar, all but diabolic, which nothing
could allay, but the magical sound of Mr Canning's name uttered by the
Speaker. Whig and Tory bristle and bustle,
Whilst our modern Ulysses looks down on the floor,
Folds his arms, and then pauses two minutes or more.

At this hour of the night, or I may say the morning,
I reluctantly rise ; and need no other warning,
Than my own urgent want of repose and relief,
To convince and remind me I ought to be brief ;

HUME, MARTIN, AND CANNING.

The Whiggery of England is bad, because it is cold, sulky, and hypocritcal: the Whiggery of London is worse, because it is cockneyfied into the bargain: but the Whiggery of Scotland is contemptible, and nothing but contemptible. It has never yet sent into Parliament one man of more than fifth-rate talents. Dr Joseph Hume, Lord Archibald Hamilton, and Mr Thoms Kennedy, are at present its tria lumina !!! But the Whiggery of Edin. burgh is a subject more especially fit to be spit upon, and that for three excellent reasons: Firstly, it is the quackery of mere fools; secondly, is the quackery of poor fools; and thirdly, it is the quackery of false fools We say mere fools, because in a few years there is not one of them whose name will be remembered, except as being borne, perhaps, by some patre stulto filiu stultior. We say poor fools, because they are, for the most part, poor, miseri ble, powerless creatures, holding no visible connexion with, nor exerting ang shadow of authority over any perceptible part of the British population: a set slavish, sneaking attorneys, and pert, pragmatical barristers-+who, if they were transplanted to-morrow in a body to Botany Bay, could scarcely, among them all, muster money enough to bring five fields into cultivation, or manners enough to overawe five felons-and, most assuredly, not manhood enough to fight five kangaroos. Thirdly, we say they are false fools ; and this, each man, or rather each thing of them, in his secret chamber, confesses to himself: and this all the world acknowledges and avows, because all the world knows-that they abyse infidelity, and yet swear by a pack of Infidel Reviewers--that they abuse indecency, and yet subscribed for Hone-that they presume to call themselves gentlemen, and yet --but least suid is soonest mended, and we leave them to gulp a blunk.

We throw out these hints by way of relieving our readers from any fears of þeing much troubled by us with any farther allusions to the degraded dress of the Whig faction here at our elbows. The truth is, that we intended to give them a slight dressing, when we took our pen into our hand; but a littk. good-natured pamphlet has lain on our table these two or three weeks, which may spare us the trouble of writing an article, and our readers the pain of reade ing a splenetic one,

We are surprised that this beautiful little quarto did not reach us several months ago; but being sure that the Whigs of Edinburgh have not seen it any more than ourselves, we willingly dedicate a page or two to a few extracts. The

poem, which is an exceedingly clever imitation of the New Bath Guide, gives a ludicrous account of the miseries of a modern M. P. Of these, of course, one of the chief is the occasional necessity of listening to Joseph Hume, Esq. that great Adam Smith of the radical interest. It is thus the Poet, who, having retired to take a cup of tea with our friend Lord Fife, and so hoped to escape this bore, describes his sensations -on finding the Montrose Doctor still prosing when he comes back to the House. “Though for more than one hour I've been taking French leave, To give both mind and ears a much-wanted reprieve, I find one, whom I left speaking, still on his legs; (Yet I've thrice drain’d the tea-pot, with Fife, to the dregs Fife, whose heart has been fashion'd with nature's best ore Fife, who loves his King much, but his country still more.)

• The Debate and Division : An Epistle, in Verse. London, 1821. 4t0, pp. 46