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NEW THEATRE, ST. GILES's.

195

each; and is. 6d. for a lady and one unmarried daughter.

After the concerts, the refreshment-rooms will be opened with full hot suppers, consisting of beef à-lamode, and other delicacies, best ground oysters, pepper, vinegar, and other embellishments. The Manager, finding the article of noyau too expensive for the subscription, has substituted some of Meux's entire, which, he hopes, the Lady-Patronesses will find equally palatable. They will also prove their patriotism in acquiescing in this change, as tending to encourage the home manufacture.

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The eleventh night will be a Bal Paré.
N. B. Check aprons not admitted.

The last night a grand masquerade; when it is expected the whole of the company will appear in disguise, except husbands, none of whom will be ad$ mitted incog. as it might disturb the harmony of the place, and the turtle feast that will form a principal part of the entertainment. In order to make the entertainments as interesting and various as possible, some of the most popular and eminent professors from "The Fives" are engaged, at a great expense, for five nights, to exhibit all the art and mystery of sparring, a science in which the matrimonial world of St. Giles's are allowed to have a superior taste. Madame Catalani being engaged at the Covent Garden Theatre, a curious display of slight-of-hand by that celebrated professor Bill Soames, and his interesting pupils, will be introduced at the end of the third act.

The arrangements will be under the superintendance of Mr. Patrick M'Gullen, who resides on the spot, and gave so much satisfaction to the Lady-Patronesses last year, at the Cock and Hen Clubs.

Tickets to be had of the Lady-Patronesses ONLY; of whom a list will be published in the next advertisement.

N. B.

K 2

196

EPIGRAM AND IMPRomptu.

N. B.-Little boys will be in waiting to take care of the subscribers' pattens, and to call the hackney coaches for the Lady-Patronesses.

NOTE. It being suggested in some of the papers, that Mr. Sheridan and Mr. Harris, the proprietors of Drury Lane and Covent Garden, have a third and dormant patent, implying, ex vi termini, a sleeping concern; the proprietors of the new St. Giles's propose to purchase the dormant right. It will be a great convenience to the audience, on wet nights, loss of pattens, or want of hackney coaches, as every accommodation will be prepared on the premises for those who remain the whole night, without any extra charge for laudanum, or other soporiferous draughts, for which they have been charged so extravagantly by Messrs. Taylor and Nasolini, at their snoring shop, commonly called-the Italian Opera House, in the Haymarket.

EPIGRAM.

[From the Morning Chronicle, August 7.]
"Experto credite."

No wonder that Oxford and Cambridge profound
In learning and science so greatly abound,
When all carry thither a little each day,
And we meet with so few who bring any away.

HERTFORD COLLEGE AND NEW INN HALL,

OXFORD.

AN IMPROMPTU.

[From the same, Aug. 10.]
-Caput, et sine nomine Corpus.

You have heard of acephalous verses
In this land of metrical knowledge:
Things stranger my muse now rehearses,
For behold an acephalous College!

But

FRAGMENT OF A DIARY.

But wonder succeeds yet to wonder;
Of greater you scarcely have read :
Here a head lives without any body,-
There a body without any head!

197

A. B.

FRAGMENT OF A DIARY,

DROPT FROM THE COMMON-PLACE BOOK OF A DEMI

BEAU.

[From the Morning Herald ]

Cheltenham, Aug. 7. MEM. EM.-Arrived at Cheltenham at midnight-had four horses at Northleach, to make a splash on my entré-slept at the Hotel-passed the night in a state of perturbation: visited mentally at 3 A. M. by the ghosts of nine tailors, who had the d-d impudence to lay their ruin at my door.-Horribly terrified: thought of exorcisms-showed them a short measure; when they looked ghastly at each other, sighed, and sunk incontinently into purgatory.

N. B. The Hon. Dick Dareall and I have undone more of the cutting fraternity than any two dashers within the bills of mortality.

Heard the guard of the mail-coach sound his bugle; with dread my fancy depicted those cursed magicians John Doe and Richard Roe in the interior, bearing a talisman of enchantment from the Lord Chief Justice.

Breakfasted at noon on gunpowder tea and muffins -cakes half baked, somewhat like myself-looked over the newspapers, and found many of our club in the insolvent list-waiter laid a heap of tradesmen's cards upon the table; they were spread before me

"Like sacrifices in their trim.”

The M. C. left his card at one P. M.-Dressed for the morning, in my Brutus wig-coatee-waistcoateen-culotissimis-boot bits-gilt spurs-and

K 3

Barcelona

198

FRAGMENT OF A DIARY.

Barcelona neckcloth-braced up my shape in stays, looked in the mirror, and was perfectly satisfied.Missed my eye-glass-cursed uneasy at the privation, as nothing can be done in style without it-it is a succedaneum for wit, learning, breeding, grace, and morals. It is a perpetual sigual of ascendancy with the vulgar, and confers more privileges upon the wearer than a diplomatic mission.

While parading High Street, I met Bob Banter in his tandem, who luckily invited me to dinner.-The bill of fare was abominable-tough lamb; goose, green from sickness, not immaturity; some yellow bullets, which they called peas; and fish, ready dressed, from the metropolis.-After dinner we had a dessert of crab-apples, sour cherries, and clammy strawberries; took our madeira and coffee; went to the play, and quizzed the actors.-We sat with our hats on, stood up before the ladies, and walked leisurely over the benches in dirty boots: this was not precisely civil, and in the pit or gallery might have subjected us to the ceremony of a kicking; but we must dash at notoriety, or sink into mere reasonable beings, of whom nobody talks or cares; and the oblivion of fame is more shocking than the approach of night and chaos!

Saw the lovely Mrs. in the side boxes-a d-d fine woman, but somewhat on the wane. I thought of Afranius and his admonitory lines,

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"tas, et corpus tenerum et morigeratio,
Hæc sunt venera formosarum mulierum."

Now the chaste lily, blended with the rose,

O'er thy warm cheek its softening lustre sheds ; And now each tress in golden ringlets flows

Down thy fair neck, and o'er thy bosom spreads :
Now heaves that bosom in luxuriance high,
Now beam the thrilling glances from thine eye.

Oh!

THE VACATION,

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Oh! heed the crisis! pluck the flower of love

Ere it may fade and wither in the blast! Mark through the glass of Time the swift sands move, And Age o'er all his dark'ning mantle cast. When that bright eye is dimm'd, and wintry snow Whitens those auburn locks-ah! then no more Will youths to thee their sighs of passion pour, Nor e'er a second spring thy faded beauty know!

ADVICE TO A FATHER WHO HAS A STUPID

SON.

[From the British Press, Aug. 9.1

IF you observe your son is slow,
C-nn-g and P-rc-v-l are so ;
If superficial, drawling, dull,
Has C-stl-r-gh a better skull?
For freedom if he cares no feather,
He copies all the three together!
You cannot therefore long debate
How to dispose his addle pate-
Make him a minister of state!

}

THE VACATION.

[From the Morning Chronicle, Aug. 11.]

THE facility of communication between London and its provincial dependencies is so highly improved by vehicles of every kind, that an observer of fashions and manners can scarcely perceive any difference as to date, and a prevailing rage is known so soon in the most distant parts of the kingdom, as to leave its original fabrication a matter of conjecture. The monthly edicts of London reach their destination within a few hours; and the bonnet, or the tassel, the round robe, or the steel clasp, which captivate in Bond Street, are displayed with fatal effect, and almost at the same hour, in the streets of Liverpool.

K 4

Nor

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