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Sir GILES OVERREACH, a cruel Extortioner.
WELLBORN, a Prodigal.

ALLWORTH, a young Gentleman, Page to Lord

LOVELL.

GREEDY, a hungry Justice of Peace.

WELLDO, a Parson.

TAPWELL, an Alehouse-keeper.
Three Creditors.

WOMEN.

Lady ALLWORTH, a rich Widow.
MARGARET, Overreach's Daughter.)

MARRALL, a Term-driver, a Creature of Sir FROTH, Tapwell's Wife.

GILES OVERREACH.

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Chambermaid.
Waiting-Woman.

SCENE, A County in England.

ACT I.

SCENE I.-The Outside of a Village Alehouse.

WELLBORN, TAPWELL, FROTH.

Well. No bouse? nor no tobacco?
Tap. Not a suck, sir;

Not the remainder of a single can,

Left by a drunken porter; all night palled, too. Froth. Not the dropping of the tap for your morning's draught, sir:

'Tis verity, I assure you.

Well. Verity, you brach!

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structed,

There dwells, and within call, if it please your worship,

The devil turned precisian! Rogue, what am I? A potent monarch called a constable,

That does command a citadel, called the stocks;
Whose guards are certain files of rusty billmen,
Such as, with great dexterity, will haul
Your tattered lousy-

Well. Rascal! slave!

Froth. No rage, sir.

Tap. At his own peril! Do not put yourself In too much heat, there being no water near To quench your thirst; and sure, for other liquor, As mighty ale, or beer, they are things, I take it, You must no more remember; not in a dream, sir. Well. Why, thou, unthankful villain, dar'st thou talk thus?

Is not thy house, and all thou hast, my gift? Tap. I find it not in chalk; and Timothy Tapwell

Does keep no other register.

Well, Am not I he

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Allw. Hold, for my sake, hold! Deny me, Frank? they are not worth your anger.

this sceptre:

Well. For once thou hast redeemed them from [Shaking his cudgel. But let them vanish, creeping on their knees; And if they grumble, I rèvoke my pardon. Froth. This comes of your prating, husband; you presumed

On your ambling wit, and must use your glib tongue,

Though you are beaten lame for❜t.
Tap. Patience, Froth;
There's law to cure our bruises.

[They go off on their hands and knees. Well. Sent to your mother?

Allw. My lady, Frank, my patroness! my all! She's such a mourner for my father's death, And, in her love to him, so favours me, That I cannot pay too much observance to her.

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Yet she's so far from sullenness and pride,
That I dare undertake you shall meet from her
A liberal entertainment. I can give you
A catalogue of her suitors' names.
Well. Forbear it,

While I give you good counsel. I am bound to it.

*Thy father was my friend; and that affection
I bore to him, in right descends to thee:
Thou art a handsome and a hopeful youth,
Nor will I have the least affront stick on thee,
If I with any danger can prevent it.

Allw. I thank your noble care; but, pray you,

in what

Do I run the hazard?

Well. Art thou not in love? Put it not off with wonder.

Allw. In love, at my years?

Well. You think you walk in clouds, but are transparent.

I have heard all, and the choice that you have made;

And, with my finger, can point out the north star
By which the loadstone of your folly's guided.
And, to confirm this true, what think ye of
Fair Margaret, the only child and heir

Of cormorant Overreach? Dost blush and start,
To hear her only named? Blush at your want
Of wit and reason.

Allw. You are too bitter, sir.

Well. Wounds of this nature are not to be cured.

With balms, but corrosives. I must be plain : Art thou scarce manumized from the porter's

lodge,

And yet sworn servant to the pantoffle, And dar'st thou dream of marriage?

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True; I must tell you as a friend, and freely,
That, where impossibilities are apparent,
'Tis indiscretion to nourish hopes.

Canst thou imagine (let not self-love blind thee)
That sir Giles Overreach (that to make her great
In swelling titles, without touch of conscience,
Will cut his neighbour's throat, and I hope his
own too)

Will e'er consent to make her thine? Give o'er, And think of some course suitable to thy rank, And prosper in it.

Allw. You have well advised me; But, in the mean time, you, that are so studious Of my affairs, wholly neglect your own. Remember yourself, and in what plight you are, Well. No matter, no matter,

Allw. Yes, 'tis much material:

You know my fortune, and my means; yet something

I can spare from myself, to help your wants.
Well. How's this?

Alle. Nay, be not angry. There's eight pieces," To put you in better fashion.

Well. Money from thee?

From a boy, a stipendiary? one that lives
At the devotion of a step-mother,

And the uncertain favour of a lord?
I'll eat my arms first. Howsoe'er blind fortune
Hath spent the utmost of her malice on me;
Though I am vomited out of an alehouse,
And thus accoutred; know not where to eat,
Or drink, or sleep, but underneath this canopy;
Although I thank thee, I despise thy offer.
And as I, in my madness, broke my state,
Without the assistance of another's brain,
In my right wits I'll piece it; at the worst,
Die thus, and be forgotten.

Allw. A strange humour! [Exeunt severally.

SCENE II.-A Chamber in Lady ALLWORTH'S House.

Enter ORDER, Amble, Furnace, and WATCH

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But will you never taste but spoonmeat more?

Furn. I am friends with thee, and yet I will To what use serve 1?

be angry.

Order. With whom?

Lady. Prithee be not angry;

I shall ere long; in the mean time there is gold

Furn. No matter whom : yet, now I think on't, To buy thee aprons and a summer suit.

I am angry with my lady.

Watch. Heaven forbid, man!

Order. What cause has she given thee?
Furn, Cause enough, master steward:

I was entertained by her to please her palate,
And, till she forswore eating, I performed it.
Now, since our master, noble Allworth, died,
Though I crack my brains to find out tempting

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viands,

She keeps her chamber, dines with a panada,
Or water-gruel; my sweat never thought on.

Order. But your art is seen in the dining room.
Furn. By whom?

By such as pretend love to her; but come
To feed upon her. Yet, of all the harpies
That do devour her, I am out of charity
With none so much, as the thin-gutted squire,
That's stolen into commission.

Order. Justice Greedy?

Furn. The same, the same. Meat's cast away
upon him:

It never thrives. He holds this paradox,
Who eats not well, can ne'er do justice well.
His stomach's as insatiate as the grave, or strum-
pet's ravenous appetites.· ́

Amble. One knocks.

[ALLWORTH knocks, and enters.

Order. Our late young master.
Amble. Welcome, sir.

Furn. Your hand:

Furn. I am appeased, and Furnace now grows

cool.

Lady. And, as I gave directions, if this morning
I am visited by any, entertain them
As heretofore: but say, in my excuse,
I am indisposed.

Order. I shall, madam.

Lady. Do, and leave me.

[Exeunt ORDER, AMBLE, FURNACE, &c.

Nay, stay you, Allworth.

Allw. I shall gladly grow here,

To wait on your commands.
Lady. So soon turned courtier!

Allw. Style not that courtship, madam, which
is duty,

Purchased on your part.

Lady. Well, you shall o'ercome;

I'll not contend in words. How is it with
Your noble master?

Allw. Ever like himself;

No scruple lessened in the full weight of ho

nour:

He did command me (pardon my presumption),
As his unworthy deputy, to kiss
Your ladyship's fair hands.

Lady I am honoured in

His favour to me. Does he hold his purpose
For the Low Countries?

Allw. Constantly, good madam:

But he will, in person, first present his service.
Lady. And how approve you of his course?

you are yet,

Like virgin parchment, capable of any
Inscription, vicious or honourable.

I will not force your will, but leave you free
To your own election.

Allw. Any form you please

I will put on: but, might I make my choice,
With humble emulation, I would follow
The path my lord marks to me.

Lady. 'Tis well answered,

And I commend your spirit: you had a father,
(Blessed be his memory) that some few hours
Before the will of Heaven took him from me,
Who did commend you, by the dearest ties
Of perfect love between us, to my charge:
And, therefore, what I speak, you are bound to
hear

If you have a stomach, a cold bake-meat's ready. With such respect as if he lived in me.

Order. His father's picture in little.

Furn. We are all your servants.

He was my husband; and howe'er you are no
Son of my womb, you may be of my love,

Provided you deserve it.

Alla. I have found you,

Most honoured madam, the best mother to me;
And with my utmost strength of care and service,
Will labour that you never may repent
Your bounties showered upon me.
Lady. I much hope it.

These were your father's words: If e'er my son
Follow the war, tell him it is a school
Where all the principles, tending to honour,
Are taught, if truly followed: But for such
As repair thither, as a place in which
They do presume they may, with license, practise
Their lusts and riots, they shall never merit
The noble name of soldiers. To dare boldly
In a fair cause, and, for their country's safety,
To run upon the cannon's mouth undaunted;
To obey their leaders, and shun mutinies;
To bear, with patience, the winter's cold,
And summer's scorching heat, and not to faint,
When plenty of provision fails, with hunger,
Are the essential parts make up a soldier:
Not swearing, dice, or drinking.

Allw. There's no syllable

You speak, but is to me an oracle;
Which but to doubt were impious.
Lady. To conclude;

Beware ill company; for often men

Are like to those with whom they do converse: And from one man I warn you, and that's Wellborn:

Not 'cause he's poor; that rather claims your

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Of beef well seasoned.
Greedy. Good.

Furn. A pheasant, larded.

Greedy. That I might now give thanks for❜t! Furn. Other kick-shaws;

Besides, there came last night, from the forest of
Sherwood,

The fattest stag I ever cooked.
Greedy. A stag, man?

Furn. A stag, sir; part of it prepared for dinner,

And baked in puff-paste.

Greedy. Puff-paste, too, Sir Giles!

A ponderous chine of beef! a pheasant larded! And red deer, too, Sir Giles, and baked in puff

paste!

All business set aside, let us give thanks here. Furn. How the lean skeleton's rapt!

Over. You know we cannot.

Mar. Your worships are to sit on a commission,

And if you fail to come, you lose the cause. Greedy. Cause me no causes; I'll prove 't, for such a dinner,

We may put off a commission; you shall find it Henrici decimo quarto,

Over. Fie, Master Greedy!

Will you lose me a thousand pounds for a din

ner?

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