Or, with your stately rider, lead The armed troop to warlike deed; While you've a leg you ne'er shall cease To bear the minister of peace. Long have you borne him nor e'er grumbled,

Nor ever started, kick'd or stumbled."

But mildest natures sometimes err From the strict rules of character:
The tim'rous bird defends its young,

And beasts will kick when they are stung.
'Twas burning hot, and host of flies,
With venom'd stings, around them rise:
They seiz'd on Grizzle's wounded part,
Who straight began to snort and start;

Kick'd up behind, rear'd up before, And play'd a dozen antics more;
The Doctor coax'd, but all in vain, She snorted, kick'd, and rear'd again:
"Alas!" said Syntax,
"could I pop

Just now, upon a blacksmith's shop,
Whose cooling unguent would avail

To save poor Grizzle's ears and tail !”

When scarce had he his wishes spoke, Than he beheld a cloud of smoke, That from a forge appear'd to rise, And for a moment veil'd the skies, While the rude hammers to his ear,

Proclaim'd the aid he wish'd was near.

By the way-side the cottage rose, Around it many a willow grows, Where Syntax, in a tone of grief,

Shew'd Grizzle's wounds and pray'd relief.

The sooty Galen soon appear'd, And with fair hopes the Doctor cheer'd. "Trust me, good Sir, I've got a plaster,

Will cure the beast of her disaster;

And, while the dressing I prepare, With all becoming skill and care,
You in that arbor may regale
With a cool pipe and jug of ale:
I've long a two-fold trade profess'd And med’cine sell for man and beast,
-Syntax now sought the cooling shade,
While Galen's dame the banquet made:
She well knew how her guests to please,
And added meat, and bread, and cheese :
Besides, she told the village-tale-

Who came to drink her home-brew'd ale;
How that the laughter-loving Vicar

Would sometimes walk to taste their liquor;

That their gay landlord was renown'd,

For hunting fox, with horn and hound;

That he'd a daughter passing fair; Who was his Honour's only heir;
But she was proud, nor could a 'Squire
Approach to tell his am'rous fire;

A Lord alone, as it was said,

She would receive into her bed.

Throughout the village, ev'ry name Became a subject for the dame;
And thus she play'd her chatt'ring part,
Till Syntax thought it time to start.

And now poor Grizzle re-appears,

With plaster'd tail and plaster'd ears,

Which thus cas'd up, might well defy The sharpest sting of gnat or fly. The Doctor having had his fill, Without a word discharg'd his bill :

But, as it was the close of day,

He trotted briskly on his way;

And, e'er the sun withdrew his light, An Inn receiv'd him for the night.
His frame fatigu'd, his mind oppress'd,
He tiff'd his punch, and went to rest.

The morning came, when he arose
And while the maid prepar'd the tea,
What story did the walls disclose,

In spirits from his calm repose;
He look'd around the room to see
Of human joys, of human woes.

The window quickly caught his eye,
On whose clear panes he could descry
The motley works of many a Muse:
There was enough to pick and choose;
And, "Faith," said he, "I'll strive to hook
Some of these lines into my book:

For here there are both grave and witty,
And some, I see, are rather pretty.

From a small pocket in his coat He drew his tablets,—when he wrote
Whate'er the pregnant panes possess'd;
And these choice lays among the rest.

"If my fond breast were made of glass,
And you could see what there doth pass,

Kitty, my ever charming fair! You'd see your own sweet image there."
"I once came here a free-booting,
And on this fine manor went shooting,
And if the 'Squire this truth denies,
This glass shall tell the 'Squire he lies."

66

Dolly's as fat as any sow,
Dolly is well dispos'd, I trow,

And, if I'm not mistaken,

To trim her husband's bacon."

"Dear Jenny, while your name I hear,

No transient glow my bosom heats;
And when I meet your eye, my dear,
My flutt'ring heart no longer beats.

I dream, but I no longer find
I wake, but now my vacant mind
I can find maids, in ev'ry rout, With smiles as false and forms as fine;
But you must hunt the world throughout,

Your form still present to my view;
No longer waking dreams of you.

To find a heart as true as mine."

"I hither came down

From fair London town

With Lucy so mild and so kind;

But Lucy grew cool,

And call'd me a fool,

So I started and left her behind."

But as he copied, quite delighted, All that the Muse had thus indited, A hungry dog, and prone to steal, Ran off with half his breakfast meal ; While Dolly, ent'ring with a kettle, Was follow'd by a man of mettle, Who swore he'd have the promis'd kiss ;

And, as he seiz'd the melting bliss,
From the hot, ill-pois'd kettle's spout,
The boiling stream came pouring out,
Which drove the Doctor from the Muse
By quickly filling both his shoes.

CANTO VI.

WHAT various evils man await, In this strange sublunary state ! No sooner is he cheer'd by joy, Than sorrows come, and pains annoy ; And scarce his lips were op'd to bless The transient gleam of happiness, Than some dark cloud obscures the sky, And grief's sad moisture fills the eye. Thus, while the Doctor smiling stole From the clear glass each witty scroll,

He felt, to interrupt the treat,

The scalding torment in his feet: And thus awaken'd from his trance, Began to skip, and jump, and dance. "Take off my shoes," he raving cried, "And let my gaiters be untied." When Dolly with a nimble hand, Instant obeyed the loud command; And, as he lolled upon the chair, His feet and ancles soon were bare. Away th' impatient damsel run, To cure the mischief she had done; And quick return'd with liquid store, To rub his feet and ancles o'er; Nor was the tender office vain ; It soon assuag'd the burning pain.

A tear was seen on Dolly's cheek:
Who sigh'd as if her heart would break.
"Be not, my girl, with care oppress'd;
I'm now," says Syntax, "quite at rest :

My anger's vanish'd with the pain; No more, my dear, shall I complain,
Since to get rid of my disaster,
So fair a maid presents the plaister."

Thus did he Dolly's care beguile, And turn'd her tears into a smile.
But, while she cool'd the raging part,

She somehow warm'd the Doctor's heart;

And, as she rubb'd the ointment in,

He pinch'd her cheeks and chuck'd her chin;

And, when she had redress'd his shanks,
He with a kiss bestow'd his thanks;
While gentle Dolly, nothing loth,

Consenting smil'd, and took them both.

"I think," said she, "you'd better stay, Nor travel further on to-day :"-
And though she said it with a smile, His steady purpose to beguile,
The Doctor clos'd the kind debate, By ord'ring Grizzle to the gate.
Now, undisturb'd, he took his way, And travell'd till the close of day;
When, to delight his weary eyes,
Before him Oxford's tow'rs arise.
"O, Alma Mater !" Syntax cried, "My present boast, my early pride;
To whose protecting care I owe All I've forgot, and all I know:
Deign from your nursling to receive The homage that his heart can give !
Hail! sacred, ever-honoured shades
Where oft I woo'd th' immortal maids;
Where strolling oft, at break of day,
My feet have brush'd the dews away!

By Isis and by Cherwell stream, How oft I wove the classic dream,
Or sought the Cloisters dim, to meet Pale science in her lone retreat!
The sight of you again inspires

I feel again the genial glow

My bosom with its former fires : That makes me half forget the woe

And all my aching heart could tell,
Since last I bid these scenes farewell."

Thus Syntax moved in sober pace,

Beset with academic grace;

While Grizzle bore him up the town, And at the Mitre set him down.
The night was pass'd in sound repose,

And as the clock struck nine he 'rose.
The barber now applies his art,

To shave him clean, and make him smart :

From him he learn'd that Dickey Bend,

His early academic friend,

As a reward for all his knowledge,
Was made the Provost of his College;
And fame declar'd that he had clear
At least twelve hundred pounds a year.
"Oho!" says Syntax, "if that's true,
Than further progress to delay,

I cannot surely better do
And with Friend Dickey pass a day."
Away he hied, and soon he found him,
With all his many comforts round him.
The Provost hail'd the happy meeting,
And after kind and mutual greeting,

To make enquiries he began ;- And thus the conversation ran.
PROVOST." Good Doctor Syntax, I rejoice
well-known voice;

Once more to hear your

To dine with us I hope you'll stay,
Full many a year is gone and past

And share a College feast to-day.
Since we beheld each other last;

Fortune has kindly dealt with me,
As you, my friend, may plainly see;

And pray how has she dealt with thee?"

SYNTAX.-"Alas! alas! I've played the fool;

I took a wife, and keep a school;

And while on dainties you are fed, I scarce get butter to my bread." PROVOST.-"For my part, I have never married,

And grieve to hear your plans miscarried :

I hope then my old worthy friend, Your visit here your fate will mend. My services you may command; I offer them with heart and hand; And while you think it right to stay,

You'll make this house your home I pray."

SYNTAX. "I'm going further, on a scheme,

Which you may think an idle dream;

At the fam'd Lakes to take a look, And of my Journey make a Book." PROVOST. "I know full well that you have store

Of modern as of classic lore:

And, surely, with your weight of learning,

And all your critical discerning,

You might produce a work of name,

To fill your purse and give you fame,

How oft have we together sought Whate'er the ancient sages taught !" SYNTAX.-"I now perceive that all your knowledge

Is pent, my friend, within your college!

Learning's become a very bore- That fashion long since has been o'er. A Bookseller may keep his carriage,

And ask ten thousand pounds in marriage;

May have his mansion in a square, And build a house for countryair ; And yet 'tis odds the fellow knows If Horace wrote in verse or prose.

Could Dr. Grey in chariot ride,
If he did not contrive to cook,
A flippant, flashy, flow'ry style,
With every other leaf, a print

And take each day his wine beside,
Each year, his Tour into a book;

A lazy morning to beguile;
Of some fine view in aqua tint'?

Such is the book I mean to make And I've no doubt the work will take :
For though your wisdom may decry it,
The simple folk will surely buy it.

I will allow it is but trash,

But then it furnishes the cash." PROVOST." Why things are not the same, I fear, As when we both were scholars here; But still I doubt not your success, Myself, and my whole College tribe, At length the bell began to call Nor did the guests delay to meet,

And wish you ev'ry happiness; Depend upon it will subscribe." To dinner, in the college-hall; Lur'd by the bounty of the treat.

The formal salutations over,

Each drew his chair and seized his cover;

The Provost, in collegiate pride, Plac'd Doctor Syntax by his side; And soon they heard the hurrying feet

Of those that bore the smoking meat.

Behold the dishes due appear— Fish in the van, beef in the rear ; But he who the procession led, By some false step or awkward tread, Or curs'd by some malignant pow'r, Fell headlong on the marble floor, Ah, heedless wight! ah, hapless dish! Ah! all the luxury of fish! Thus in a moment spoil'd and wasted; Ah! never, never to be tasted! But one false step begets another, So they all tumbled one o'er t'other ; And now the pavement was bestrew'd

With roast and boil'd, and fried and stew'd.
The waiters squall'd, their backs bespatter'd
With scalding sauce; the dishes clatter'd
In various discord; while the brawl
Re-echo'd through th' astonish'd hall.
“Well,” said a Don, “as I'm a sinner,
We must go elsewhere for a dinner."
""Tis no such thing," the Head replied,
"You all shall soon be satisfied :
We are but ten and sure there's plenty;
I order'd full enough for twenty.
I see, my friends, the haunch unspoil'd,
With chickens roast, and turkey boil'd;

The ven'son pasty is secure,

The marrow puddings safe and sure;
With ham, and many good things more,
And tarts, and custards, full a score.
Sure, here's enough to cut and carve ;
To-day, I think, we shall not starve :
But still I'll make the boobies pay

For the good things they've thrown away."

Thus ev'ry eye was quickly cheer'd With all the plenty that appear'd;

They eat, and drank, they smok'd, they talk'd,

And round the college-garden walk'd:

But the time came (for time will fly)

When Syntax was to say-" good bye."