Send her abroad: and let her fee,
That all this mingled mafs, which the,
Being forbidden, longs to know,

Is a dull farce, an empty fhow,
Powder, and pocket-glafs, and beau ;
A staple of romance and lies,

Falfe tears and real perjuries :

Where fighs and looks are bought and fold;
And love is made but to be told :

Where the fat bawd and lavish heir

The fpoils of ruin'd beauty fhare;
And youth, feduc'd from friends and fame,
Muft give up age to want and shame.
Let her behold the frantic fcene,
The women wretched, falfe the men:
And when, these certain ills to fhun,
She would to thy embraces run;
Receive her with extended arms,
Seem more delighted with her charms;
Wait on her to the park and play,
Put on good-humour; make her gay;
Be to her virtues very kind;
Be to her faults a little blind;
Let all her ways be unconfin'd;
And clap your padlock-on her mind.

}

HANS

HANS CAR VEL.

HA

ANS CARVEL, impotent and old,
Married a lafs of London mould:
Handfome? enough; extremely gay :
Lov'd mufic, company, and play :
High flights fhe had, and wit at will;
And fo her tongue lay feldom ftill:
For in all vifits who but fhe,

To argue, or to repartée ?

She made it plain, that human paffion Was order'd by predeftination;

That, if weak women went aftray,

Their ftars were more in fault than they
Whole tragedies the had by heart;

Enter'd into Roxana's part:

To triumph in her rival's blood,
The action certainly was good.

How like a vine young Ammon curl'd!
Oh that dear conqueror of the world !
She pitied Betterton in age,

That ridicul'd the god-like rage.

She, first of all the town, was told,
Where newest India things were sold:
So in a morning, without bodice,
Slipt fometimes out to Mrs. Thody's;
To cheapen tea, to buy a screen:
What elfe could fo much virtue mean

For,

For, to prevent the leaft reproach,

Betty went with her in the coach.

But, when no very great affair
Excited her peculiar care,

She without fail was wak'd at ten;
Drank chocolate, then flept again :
At twelve fhe rofe; with much ado
Her cloaths were huddled on by two;
Then, does my Lady dine at home?
Yes, fure-But is the Colonel come ?
Next, how to spend the afternoon,
And not come home again too foon;
The Change, the City, or the Play,

As each was proper for the day:
A turn in fummer to Hyde-Park,
When it grew tolerably dark.

Wife's pleasure caufes husband's pain:
Strange fancies come in Hans's brain :
He thought of what he did not name;
And would reform, but durft not blame.
At first he therefore preach'd his wife
The comforts of a pious life :
Told her, how tranfient beauty was;
That all must die, and flesh was grass :
He bought her fermons, pfalms, and graces;
And doubled down the useful places.
But ftill the weight of worldly care
Allow'd her little time for prayer :

And Cleopatra was read o'er;

While Scot, and Wake, and twenty more,

That

That teach one to deny one's-felf,

Stood unmolefted on the fhelf.

An untouch'd bible grac'd her toilet :

No fear that thumb of her's fhould spoil it.
In short, the trade was ftill the fame:

The Dame went out: the Colonel came.
What's to be done? poor Carvel cry'd :
Another battery must be try'd :
What if to fpells I had recourfe?
'Tis but to hinder fomething worse.
The end muft juftify the means;
He only fins who ill intends :
Since therefore 'tis to combat evil;
'Tis lawful to employ the Devil.
Forthwith the Devil did appear

(For name him, and he 's always near);
Not in the fhape in which he plies
At Mifs's elbow when the lies;
Or ftands before the nursery-doors,
To take the naughty boy that roars :
But, without fawcer-eye or claw,
Like a grave Barrister at Law.

Hans Carvel, lay afide your grief,

The Devil fays; I bring relief.
Relief! fays Hans: pray, let me crave
Your name, Sir-Satan-Sir, your flave;
I did not look upon your feet:
You'll pardon me :-Ay now I fee 't :
And pray, Sir, when came you from Hell?
Our friends there, did you leave them well?

All

All well; but pr'ythee, honeft Hans,
(Says Satan) leave your complaifance :
The truth is this: I cannot stay
Flaring in fun-fhine all the day :
For, entre nous, we hellifh fprites
Love more the frefco of the nights;
And oftener our receipts convey
In dreams, than any other way.

I tell you therefore as a friend,

Ere morning dawns, your fears fhall end :
Go then this evening, mafter Carvel,

Lay down your fowls, and broach your barrel;

Let friends and wine diffolve your care;

Whilft I the great receipt prepare:
To-night I'll bring it, by my faith!
Believe for once what Satan faith.

Away went Hans: glad? not a little ;

Obey'd the Devil to a tittle;

Invited friends fome half a dozen,

The Colonel and my Lady's coufin.

The meat was ferv'd; the bowls were crown'd;
Catches were fung; and healths went round;
Barbadoes waters for the clofe;

Till Hans had fairly got his dofe :
The Colonel toafted "to the beft:"

The Dame mov'd off, to be undrest:

The chimes went twelve: the guests withdrew: But when, or how, Hans hardly knew.

Some modern anecdotes aver,

He nodded in his elbow-chair;

From