THE SOLDIER'S FAREWELL. A Ballad-Adapted to a German Air. Tho' doom'd by fate to leave thee, Yet should I e'er deceive thee, Cease to re member From the Saturday Evening Post. MUSIC OF BIRDS. Ornithologists have observed that notes in birds are no more innate than language in man, and that the feathered tribe depend entirely upon their mastersthose by whom they are bred-for the sounds which they produce. It is remarkable that young birds in a wild state, attend only to the instruction of the parent bird, disregarding the notes of all others that may be singing around them; while certain species, when tamed and caged, soon learn to imitate the whistle of the human voice. Mr. Barrington defines the song of birds to be a succession of three or more different notes, continued without interruption, with a musical bar of four crotchets, adagio movement. Birds in a wild state, commonly sing about ten weeks in the year, while those in a cage, when plentifully supplied with food, and well attended, sing the greater part of the year. It is a regular provision of nature that the female of no species ever sings, as the song would discover her nest. Mr. Hunter, in dissecting birds of several species, found the muscles of the larynx to be stronger in the nightingale than in any other bird of the same size; and in all those instances where he dissected male and female, the same muscles were inuch stronger in the male. Some passages of the song, in a few kinds of birds, correspond with the intervals of our musical scale, of which the cuckoo is a striking instance; but much the greater part of the song of this bird is not capable of musical intonation; partly because the rapidity is too great to reduce the passages to a musical bar, and partly because the pitch of most birds is considerably higher than the shrillest note of any musical instrument. Mr. Barrington apprehends that all birds sing in the same key; and in order to discover this key, he informs us, that the following notes have been observed in different birds: A, B, flat; C, D, F, and G, wanting only E to complete the scale. These intervals, he FOURTH VERSE. I go where glory calls me, says, can be found only in the key of F, with a sharp third, or that of G, with a flat third; and he supposes it to be the latter, because, admitting that the first mu sical notes were learned from birds, those of the cuckoo, which have been most attended to, form a flat third; and most of our compositions are in a flat third, where the music is simple and consists merely of melody.As a further evidence that birds sing always in the same key, it has been found, by attending to a nightingale, as well as a robin, educated under him, that the notes reducable to our intervals of the octave, were always precisely the same. Subjoined is a table, extracted in part from Rees's Enyclopedia, exhibiting the comparative merits of various singing birds, with the number of notes sung by each. Twenty is supposed to be the point of perfect tion, to which the nightingale closely approaches. The superiority of this bird consists in its mellowness of tone, and brilliant execution, and in its continuance of song, which is sometimes extended, without a pause, no less than twenty seconds. Sprightly Plaintive Norf'k M'k N'gale,12 "Is your father a Catholic?" said a young man 16 'he's a to an Irish boy, "No sir," he replied shoemaker." TO A COUNTRY INNKEEPER. Your salmon are so fat and red. THE CONFESSION.-A lady at confession, amongst other heinous crimes, accused herself of using rouge. "What is the use of it?" asked the confessor. "I do it to make myself handsomer." "And does it produce that effect?" "At least I think so, father." The confessor on this took his penitent out of the confessional, and having looked at her attentively in the light, said, "Well, madan, you may use rouge, for you are ugly enough even with it." TYROLESE EXPRESSION OF GRATITUDE.-The Golden Adler at Innsbruck, independently of being the house where Hofer lodged, is a primitive inn, at once cheap and comfortable. Having paid our very moderate bill, (leaving a gratuity for the servants) the chambermaid came into our room and, seizing our hand, kissed it! We did not recollect at the moment that this was the customary way of expressing gratitude in such cases. We were hurried, indeed, and taken at a loss; and, in short, without an idea of gallantry, or any thing else, but simply from not knowing how to act on the occasion, we returned the salute on the damsel's cheek.She appeared to be grateful for the compliment, and curteseying low, thanked us again, and withdrew. [Heath's Picturesque Annual. A HARD CASE. An elderly gentleman of unimpeached veracity, though by the way somewhat addicted to story telling, relates the following: During the early days of this town, before carts came into vogue, he was accustomed to haul his wood by the aid of an old black mare he kept in his service. Now the old mare's harness consisted of a breast plate and traces, made of the untanned hide of the ox. At the close of a rainy day, he went to his wood lot, situated some forty or fifty rods from his dwelling, for the purpose of procuring a log of wood. After having cut a log which he judged might be a smart load for his beast, he fastened her to one end, with her head towards home, and gave her the rein. The old mare continued her course till she arrived at the door, when, to his surprise, he discovered, that owing to the great extensibility of the traces, they had stretched the whole distance without breaking or moving the load an inch. Throwing down his axe he went to his beast, and removing the harness from her, threw the breast plate over a post that stood near the door, and went to bed. Upon rising the next morning, he found that the heat of the morning sun had so operated upon the contractibility of the traces, as to bring the wood up to the door ready for hewing and splitting. “A VOTARY OF HIGH-MEN." At the altar of Hymen you see a little dumpy deformed lady, about to be linked in unequal chains to a tall high half-pay officer. He has the characteristic mark of the true Milesian, to wit, from shirt-collar to cheek bone the space is covered with a dark bushy whisker. The figures of the parson and clerk form the usual contrast of fat and lean. The sonnet to this plate is so good that we will extract it here; it is addressed to the little lady-the votary of high-men. Lady, excuse me, but in my idea Your marriage is extremely indiscreet; Your husband runs about on six feet! And I am confident one moment's thought, Yet, doubtlessly, he holds you very dear, For, though you'd twenty thousand pounds a year, A STORY FOR THE NULLIFIERS. We find the following, extracted from a London paper; it should be read at the head of every nullification regiment of South Carolina. A MADMAN'S FROLIC.-Miss Kelly, in her "Dramatic Recollections," relates with great effect a story that Mrs. Mattocks, the actress, told her. She went to Bedlam with some friends, and the keeper, pointing to one cell which they had not seen, said-Here's one in here who is perfectly quiet so long as you don't contradict him-mind, I say if you don't contradict him. Accordingly they entered the cell, and saw a pale-faced, melancholy man, with dark eyes, which had a penetrating brightness peculiar to madmen. He was in deep thought as they entered. The party having satisfied their curiosity, were about retiring, when (said Mrs. Mattocks) he seized me by the wrist, shutting the door, and placing his back against it, and held me in his firm grasp. a comical situation here, shut in with a madman." I said, Well, young woman, (said he,) you're in "Sir?" "But you needn't be alarmed-you are perfectly safe; they told you I was harmless, didn't they? You needn't answer. Are you fond of drawing? I know you are. What is this?" he concluded, holding up a paper. A ship," said I. A ship, is it? you call my tree a ship, "Yes, yes," said I, "it is a ship." "Oh, and pray what is this?" Obliged to say something, and not knowing what he thought it was, I answered "a house," which it was. "A house, eh!" So saying, he pulled a clasp knife from his pocket, and opening it with his teeth. at the same moment swinging me around the cell with his huge arm, said, "Now, is it a house or not?". 66 It is, it is." "Then I'll tell you what it is, then-it is a dolphin." Then holding up the knife, and gnashing his teeth, said, "Can you tell what this is, and no mistake?" A knife," I answered. "Right for once." said he;" and can you tell me what I shall do with it?" I trembled, and shook my head in silent negative. I'll tell you what I shall do with it; I shall-scrape my charcoal."" do you ייל NORTHERN WIT-A Scotch woman whose name was Margret, did nothing but swear and abuse, instead of answering the minister, "Ah, Margret," says he, “dinna ye ken where a' the sinfu' gang?" Deel tak them that kens, as weel as them that speers," cries she. "Ah. Margret they gang where there be wailing and gnashing of teeth." By my trow, then," says Margret, "let them gnash that hae them, for the de'el a stump hae I had these twenty years." ANECDOTE--An old lady in Vermont, who lived in a small log house, was disturbed in the dullness and oblivion of her usual state, by an accident happening to a stage coach, on the road, near her humble dwelling. One of the passengers entered her domicil to take up his bed and board for the night, and she in her simple curiosity inquired of him where he came from, and upon his replying from Boston." "Oh dear me," said she, "how can you live so far off?"-- Barnstable Patriot. WIT AND SENTIMENT. POOR ENOUGH-A weather-beaten veteran, in the service of General Alcohol, crawled in before the fire in a public house in this town last week, and seating himself, began to cough tremendously. "Mister," says a bystander, you've got a cold?" "Have I," said the other, " 'pon honor, I'm glad of it, I'm so wretched poor it's a consolation to get any thing." 93 EVIL OF TEMPERANCE SOCIETIES. The following extract of a letter written by a physician, to his friend who had solicited him to assist in the formation of a Temperance Society. MY DEAR DOCTOR:--How could you suppose me so great a simpleton as your letter would imply? To enlist in a crusade against intemperance, indeed! Why, if an end were put to the drinking of port, punch and porter, A negro generally goes a very round about way to ex- there would be an end to my worldly prosperity. I should press his thoughts, and even then only to make himself be obliged to sell my house in square, pay off my unintelligible. If a negro wishes to say, that if the sun coachman, and once more become a pedestrian. Nay, the rises clear, and is soon after obscured by a fog, it is a sign whole professions physicians, surgeons, and apothecaries, of rain, he does so in some such terms as these.- Ben e would be ruined. Poverty among the labouring classes sun rise berry airly, and set afore he rise, sartin to hab rain being diminished--and disease becoming comparatively afore soon." He is not only unintelligible, but is very de- rare, simple, and manageable, the clinical physician would sultory. We have read of this prayer made by some Cato lose the benefits of teaching, and the student the opportu or other, as a preface to a thanksgiving dinner-to wit:-nity of learning his profession in our flourishing hospitals. "O, Lord! pray see good vittel on de table-more in e pot -good as any Massa Tompkin's got-tunner in e hevens! trashee down dry hemlock tree! trashee e up afore Massa door! save cuffee on dee oven wood-under glorious sunshiny gospel-dis day to one day, world afore latter end, Gosh sake amen." Can you, my dear doctor, forget the sweets of a prolonged attendance upon a nervous hypochondriacal debauchee, with a well lined purse? Can you be so lost to your own interest as to dry up this fertilizing stream? Have you no esprit du corps? Why, this would seem to be a case in which our college of physicians, in their capacity as guardians of the interest of the medical profession. might with propriety interfere, and put a stop to your rash proceedings. And lawyers are interested in this matter as well as doctors. A writer has attempted to show that a large portion of the crimes committed in our country is to be traced to intemperance. Whence it is evident that if your measures succeed, the profession of the law would be as much injured as that of physic. HOW TO PREPARE FOR A FLOGGING.-George S. late a lieutenant in the U. S. army, was one of the most eccentric fellows in the world-When a boy, having incurred the displeasure of his father, the latter called him to an account, and after examining him as to the why and wherefore of his misconduct, resolved on applying the rod, now more fashionably called hickory. But that the punishment might have more salutary effect, instead of inflicting it immediately, he gave the culprit time to reflect, and Chew the bitter cup of repentance, made ten times more bitter by the anticipation of what was to follow. "George," said he, you may go for the present, but prepare yourself early to-morrow morning, for the most severe flogging you ever had." George retired, and the next morning, bright tress, anticipated by a certain class of politicians, are It would seem to me, indeed, that all the evils and disand early, appeared before his father, to undergo the execution of his sentence. was the stern command. Off went the coat, and the favouring to bring abouin my dear Doctor, "Take off your coat, George," nothing in comparison with the revolution you are endea I cannot conclude without once more beseeching you to weigh this matter more carefully before you mount your Rosinante. Those who are interested in the prosperity of the liberal professions ought not to overlook the importance of intemperance as a source of disease and crime. Your sincere friend. ther standing with the well prepared hickory in his hand, observed that his son's back, from one extreme to the other, appeared unusually protuberant. "What have you got on your back?" said he. "My jacket," replied the boy. A SUBSTITUTE--General Daniel passing by a sentinel at Well, what have you got under it?" demanded the fa- Portsmouth, the fellow complained that he wanted a pair ther. A leather apron four double," replied the lad. "A shoes. "Tis fit that you should have a pair," said the Geleather apron, have you indeed! and what's that for?"-neral. Thereupon he takes a. piece of chalk, and chalks "Why, pa," said the youngster, with a grave countenance, out a pair of shoes upon the sentry box. There's a pair you told me to prepare for a flogging, and I got as well for you," adds he, and goes his way. His back was no prepared as I could." The angry father now turned away sooner turned than the soldier chalks out a man standing to hide a laugh, and the boy escaped a flogging being so sentinel, and then goes his way. The General presently well prepared for it. after was surprised to meet the fellow in town, inquired with several threats, how he came to leave his post. "Sir," said he, "I am relieved." "Relieved, that's impossible, at this time of day. Who has relieved you?""One, I'll swear for it, that will not leave his post," replied the soldier. Hereupon the General goes with him to the place. "There, sir," says the fellow, "if I am to look upon this as a good pair of shoes, you must own that this is likewise a very good sentinel."" ANECDOTE-A pretty little brunnette of 14, was passing along the streets a few days since, when she was accosted by a strange man, rather worse for liquor, who inquired if her mother was as black as she was. I believe not," was the reply, "but pray tell me if your father is as blue as you are."--New Bedford Gaz. A GREAT ANCESTOR.-A representative, from a town, not a thousand miles distant from our office, having a desire to display his historical knowledge, and to appear learned upon subjects aside from legislation, said to a fellow boarder, a few mornings since, "less see, I believe Columbus was a native of Geno, was'nt he?" "He was a native of Genoa," was the reply, upon which, the Legislator, apprehending he had made a mistake somewhere, and that it was best to secure a retreat in season, said: "I mean Christopher Columbus, the great Ancester of the World.” ---Barnstable Patriot. THE WEEPING WILLOW.--If you ask me to point out one tree more graceful than all the others, I would point out the weeping willow. Its long silk like boughs droop not less pensively than the eye-lids of some sleeping beauty. And when the air stirs them what a delicious motion waves among them--where is the painter that can impart such a motion to his canvass--where the poet whose strains have such music in them as" that which lives in the weeping willow? Where throughout all the works of nature, is any object more beautiful than this? Why is a piano with a voice like a room prepared for a party? Because it is for a company meant, (accompaniment.) Why is a band of lawless rioters like cats? Why is a flatterer like one wearied of his aunt? Why should you prepare your Apothecary's medicines when he is sick? Because he has mixt yours, (mixtures.) What word might properly be spoken to Eve after she had eaten the apple? Insinuate, (in sin you ate.) Why is a man with $6000 wishing to make it $30,000 like a paper maker? Because he has 24 to acquire, (a quire.) A BLOW UP. unparalleled scene of blood and carnage.-ExeIt is rumored that a most tremendous explo- ter News Letter. sion lately took place in the midst of a populous town in a neighbouring state, which was attended with the loss of a life, and created much alarm among the inhabitants. misdeeds. THE BEGGARS OF MULLINGAR.-When the gallant 50th were removed to Mullingar, it was Jowler, a fierce, truculent-looking mastiff of supposed that this town produced a greater numthe largest size, by his propensity for stealing and ber of beggars than any in the King's dominions; divers other unamiable qualities, had rendered a swarm of paupers rendered the streets almost himself particulary obnoxious to Mr. Jervis, impassable, and ingress or egress to or from a one of his master's neighbors. Mr. Jervis shop was occasionally impracticable. Now beghad in vain represented to Mr. Jarvis, the own-gars were to the Mad Major an abomination; and er of Jowler, that his dog was a bad dog, and for two days he ensconced himself in his lodgings should be corrected for his improper habits-but rather than encounter the mendicants of MullinMr. Jarvis with an unaccountable obstinacy gar. Confinement will increase bile, and bile paid no attention to these representations. The may induce gout; and at last, wearied of captivipatience of Mr. Jervis at length became ex- ty, he sallied forth, and to every application for hausted, and having again suffered pretty severerelief, he specified an early day, requesting the ly from Jowler's dishonest tricks, he most unnumerous supplicants to be punctual to the apjustifiably came to the resolution of exacting an pointed time. His wish was faithfully attended unheard of and most bloody penalty for his to, and on the expected morning, the street where he resided was literally blocked up. The He accordingly went deliberately to work, Major, under a volley of blessings, appeared at diameter and about three inches in length, honor-all, young and owld!" responded a big and procured a cylinder of tin, half an inch in the hall door. "Are you all here?" he inquired in accents of the deepest compassion. "All, your which he nearly filled with Dupont's best gunbeggar man. "We're all here, Colonel, avorpowder, and on the top of which he deposited a small piece of touchwood. Soon after he was neen!" exclaimed a red virago, "but my own thus prepared, he saw Jowler, his intended vic-poor man, Brieney Bokkoh, and he, the crater, tim, prowling around in quest of what he could fell into the fire on Sunday night, and him, heardevour. Mr. Jervis immediately communicated Ah then," said the humane commander, "why ty, and sorrow stir can he make good nor bad." fire to the touch-wood, hastily enveloped the tube should in a piece of fat pork, and threw it into the street. self and bring the cripple to us!" In a twinkpoor Brien be left out? Arrah! run yourJowler pounced upon the precious morsel-and Mr. Jervis rushed out at the same time with a ling off went the red virago, and after a short abhuge bludgeon, and assuming a belligerent atti-sence, issued from a neighboring lane with tude, the poor, unsupecting dog, bolted the wick-Brieny on her shoulders. "Are ye all here now?" "Every ed compound instanter, and rushed into Mr. inquired the tender-hearted chieftain. Smith's store to avoid the effects of the abused Sowl of us," said an old woman in reply. Oght Mr. Jervis's wrath. Mr. Smith was at that mothat the light of heaven may shine on his honor's dying hour, but it's he that's tender to the poor." "Amen, sweet Jesus!" responded a hundred voices. "Silence!" said the Mad Major, as he & Whisht, you sowls!" cried the big beggar-man. produced a small book, neatly bound in morocco. "Are ye listening?" "Sha, sha! yes, yes;" was "Then, by the responded in English and Irish. contents of this blessed book, and it's the Bible, a rap I wont give one of ye, ye infernal vagabonds, if I remain a twelvemonth in Mullingar.', 66 ment expatiating in an eloquent manner on the color and texture of a remnant of Merino which some ladies were endeavoring to cheapen, and his clerk was actually measuring off three yards of black sarsnet for another customer, when Jowler, primed and loaded, and unconsciously carrying within him the germ of his own destruction, sprang into the centre of the apartment. The ladies were frightened, and Mr. Smith seizing his yard-stick, jumped over the counter, and was about commencing a serious attack on the ill-mannered brute, when the explosion took NEGRO PHILOSOPHY.-John Canepole was a place; and direful were the consequences thereof! small man, a pocket edition of humanity. He With a tremendous report, which shook the had a black servant, who was a stout fellow, and whole building and alarmed all the citizens in being a privileged joker, Sambo let no occasion the neighborhood, Jowler was blown into ten pass unimproved where he could rally his master thousands atoms, which were equally distributed upon his diminutive carcase. John was taken in every part of the shop! The ladies were sick, and Sambo went for the doctor. The faithcovered with the bleeding fragments of the dog: ful negro loved his master, and upon the arrival and one of them had her cheek terribly scratch- of the physician looked up in his face anxiously. ed by the claws which were attached to one of Examining the symptoms, the doctor pronounced his hind legs, as it whizzed like a double-headed his patient in no danger. Re-assured by this, shot past her ears. A portion of the spine struck Sambo's spirits returned, and he indulged his naMr. Smith in the forehead and laid him sprawl-tural drollery. "I tell you, Doctor, Massa Caing. His clerk rushed to the door, his clothes nepole will die, 'cause he got a fever." "A feand features bespattered with blood, and scream-ver, you black dog," says the patient, "does a ing Fire! and Murder! right manfully. The fever always kill a fellow?" "Yes, massa, when ladies joined in the chorus-the bells were set a a fever get into such a little man, it neber hab ringing and the people rapidly assembled, room to turn in him, and if de fever no turn, you and gazed with horror and consternation on this die sartin!"-Lowell Compend. WIT AND SENTIMENT. THE IRON SHOES OF THE MACDONALDS.About the period of the accession of James I. to the throne of Scotland, a degree of ferocity and cruelty existed in certain highland freebooters, which are never found in more recent times. A robber, named Macdonald, head of a band in Ross-shire, had plundered a poor widow, who in her anger exclaimed repeatedly that she would go to the king for redress, should she go to Edinburg to seek for him.-"It is a long journey," answered the barbarian; "and that you may perform it the better, I will have you shod for the occasion." Accordingly, he caused a smith to nail shoes to the poor woman's feet, as if they had been those of a horse. The widow, however, being a woman of high spirit, was determined to keep her word, and as soon as her wounds permitted her to travel, she did actually go on foot to Edinburg, and, throwing herself Before James, acquainted him with the cruelty which had been exercised upon her. James in great resentment, caused Macdonald and twelve of his principal followers to be seized, and to have their feet shod with iron shoes; in which painful condition they were exhibited to the pubfic for three days, and then executed.-Athe næum. 35 EXTRACTS FROM A MODERN DICTIONARY. Challenge.-A polite written request from some one of your obedient servants, to give him an opportunity of shooting you. Public abuse.---The mud which every traveller is spattered with, on his road to distinction. Happiness.-A dream. The Grave.-An ugly hole in the ground which lovers and poets wish they were in, but take uncommon pains to keep out of. Constable.-A species of snapping turtle. Creditor.-A sensible fellow who often takes his debtor, because he thinks he cannot pay, and puts him where knows he cannot. Dun.-A two-legged devil with a piece of paper in his hand-a terrible animal-a monster. Beauty-An optical delusion. Modesty.-A beautiful flower that flourishes only in secret places. Tight Lacing.-A species of fashionable female suicide. POLITICS.-Uncle Jo cared no more about politics than he did for the fifth wheel of a coach, but so far as he did meddle, he conceived it politic to be all things to all men. He lived in high party times, the line of demarcation was marked IRISH RELIGION IN AULD LANG SYNE. between federalists and democrats. As each "No good will come of it," said the Colonel. "I party claimed him, when he showed himself at mind the time in Connaught when no man clear- the polls each supplied him with votes. "Take ly knew to what religion he belonged; and in a vote Uncle Jo?" said a democrat. "Yes," and one family the boys would go to church and the away it went into his ample vest pouch. "Have girls to mass, or may be both would join and go one of our tickets?" said a federalist. "Yes," to whichever happened to be nearest. When 1 and it went to the same pocket. Thus with his entered the militia, I recollect, the first time I pocket full, he went to the ballot box, and depowas ever detached from head-quarters I went sited the one he happened to draw, without lookwith the company to Portumna. Old Sir Marking at it. Returning, if he met another vote disBlake, who commanded the regiment, happened to be passing through, and the night before he had a desperate drink with General Loftus at the Castle. When I left Loughrea, I forgot to ascertain where I should bring the men on Sunday, and I thought this a good opportunity to ask the question. I opened his bed room door softly. "Sir Mark," says I, "where shall I march the men?" "What kind of a day is it?" says he. "Rather wet," was my answer. "It's liker the night that preceded it," said he. "Upon my conscience, my lad," he continued, "my head's not clear enough at present to recollect the exact position of church and chapel; but take them to the nearest." That is what I call," and the Colonel shook his head gravely, "real Christian feeling."-Wild Sports of the West. CATHEDRAL OF SEVILLE.-There is not a more beautiful and solemn temple in the world, than the great Cathedral of Seville. When you enter from the glare of a Spanish sky, so deep is the staining of the glass, and so small and few the windows, that for a moment you feel in darkness. Gradually, the vast design of the Gothic artist unfolds itself to your vision; gradually rises up before you the profuse sumptuousness of the high altar, with its tall images and velvet and gold hangings, its gigantic railings of brass, and massy candlesticks of silver-all revealed by the dim and perpetual light of the sacred and costy lamps.-Contarini Fleming. tributor, "Have a vote Uncle Jo?" was again asked; "No, I have voted." "You did not vote against us I hope?" "If I did, I didn't know it." As Uncle Jo was accounted capable of knowing the difference between a democratic and federal ticket, this answer would suit the questioner, belong to what party he might. [Lowell Compend. A dandy most shockingly in love, in one of his extravagant fits of delirium, exclaimed to his mistress-' I swear by the constancy of my bosom, that my passion is unfeigned and sincere!' Swear not by thy bosom,' said the lady, for that is false!' He was a fashionable man and wore a dickey. BRIEF DISCUSSION.--When Pitt proposed to King George the Third, that his tutor, Bishop Tomline, should be raised to the See of Lincoln, the following dialogue took place ;-"Too young, can't have it." "Had it not been for him, Sire, I should never have been in your service. "Shall have it, Pitt, shall have it." MILITIA.-During the embargo, a debate took place in the general assembly of Pennsylvania, upon the expediency of a new organization of the militia; during which, a member from one of the German counties, exclaimed," Mr. Speaker, me tink de militia may do mit de drums and vifes, mitout de organs." |