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that too within a few doors of the House of Lords, having been Palace, I must confess rather ex awoke by a sudden elevation of cited my curiosity, and I wrote Lord Liverpool's voice, observed, them down in my pocket book. If “ it was no wonder his sleep was you think them worth insertion, broken, when lis Lordship was they are at your service. Your's, making a speech that was to disturb June 14, 1815. Inspector. the repose

of all Europe." As you pass by this Shop, at the Old Hibernian, pray have a look,

From Joe Miller, in Rhyme. Where Boots and shoes are neatly made, and fitted to the Foot;

STRIKING PROOF OF FRIENDSHIP. Elsewhere Royal Names, and their En To shew his skill in pugilistic

lore, signs they display,

Tom knock'd his friend keel upwards on But the Old Man always, and still do bear

the floor.

Cover'd with blood the luckless wight O'SHAUGHNISSEY.

arose, And curs'd Tom's fist and his tremen

dous blows; ON MODERN MARRIAGES. But he, with steady phiz, appealed to When Phæbus was am'rous, and wish'd If greater proof of friendship e'er was to be rude,

given; Miss Daphne cried pish! and ran swift to the wood;

Dear Boy, he said, accept this well-meant

token, And rather than do such a naughty affair,

This master-stroke will always bring She became a fine laurel to deck the god's

hair. The Nymph was no doubt of a cold con

In learning it my head was often broken,

And I've conceal'd the art from all stitution, For sure to turn tree was an odd resolution,

PARSON'S WIT. Yet in this she bebaved like a most mo

A Lawyer who, eager to see dern spouse, For she fled from his arms to distinguish Made int'rest for a trifling fee

Where the Black Diamonds grow, his brows.

Down a deep mine to go; A MAN is said to have realized a When in the shaft, grasping a rope, thousand a year by making port A friendly Priest express’da hope,

Which prudently he'd taken, wine. A friend advised bim to put That he would " save his bacon." over his door-inveni portum.

The Lawyer,jeering the good man,

Said, Parson, can you tell,
À
GENTLEMAN about to take a (I know you'll tell me if you can)

How far it is to H-11? boat, was beset by a number of watermen desiring to have bim for The Pastor, shock'd at Browbeat's fling, a customer; be asked each of them Replied, You rogue, let go the string,

(The pit was yawning Browbeat in it) if they could swim, which all an. And H-ll you'll find in half a minute. swered in the affirmative, except one fellow, who was about to slink BRIGHTON WIT.-" Pray, Mr. off, when the gentleman called to Librarian," inquired a Miss in her him to know if he could swim. teens, as she entered one of the li. He answered candidly, “No,"— braries of this gay watering-place, “ Then I have your boat," said arm in arm with her father, an be,

you

will take care of me bonest citizen from London, whose for your own sake."

countenance bore the unequivocal

marks of good living, “in giving A GENTLEMAN, who had fallen me value for about a dozen loo asleep during a late debate in the tickets, can you direct my atten

R 2

tion

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tion to any article in your stock like picking your pocket ?" The
that is calculated to destroy ennui, patient, who, like Sterne's Yorick,
and beguile the time during a damp retained a portion of wit to the
and tedious day?"-The librarian, last, faintly articulated, " Very
without replying, politely present- like it, indeed, doctor."
ed to her a Morocco thread-case, a
packet of patent needles, and a sila A RHYMING Boniface, named
ver thimble.--"He is right," exult- Lound, of Stratford, in Essex,
ingly observed the citizen, " and has lately solicited custom in the
I'll purcbase the articles, if it be following doggrel Lines :-
only in compliment to his correct At the SWAN TAVERN, kept by LOUND,
judgment. Pray," he continued, The best accommodation's found,

Wine, Spirits, Porter, Bottled Beer, “ bave you any ibing that will suit

You'll find in high perfection there. á man öt my complexion ?"-The If in the Garden with your Lass, question was answered by the im You feel inclin'd to take a Glass, .

There Tea and Coffee of the best mediate exhibition of a set of silver

Provided is for every guest; decanter labels and a cork-screw. And females not to drive from thence, “ Excellent !" exclainned a dasher His charge is only Fifteen-pence;

Or if disposed a pipe to smoke, of ton, with an abruptness not al..

To sing a song, or crack a joke, together justifiable, “such emblems You may repair across the Green, are the barbingers also of worth, Where dought is heard, tho' much is seen, for what can be hetter than good And but a moderate reckoning pay,

There laugh and drink and smoke away, wine?"-"Good manners !" sig. Which is a most important object nificantly observed the librariai, To every Loyal British Subject.

In short, and the dasher bad the mortifica

The best accommodation's found tion to find that the laugh was By those who deign to visit Lound. against him.

A CLERGYMAN once asked Mr.
A NEW WAY OF PAYING OLD DEBTS,

Garrick, wby a church congrega-
Tom having won of Dick a bet,
Nought but his note of hand could get ;

tion was seldom brought to tears, But finding that the note won't do, when the same persons placed in a Pom takes his nose in hand, in lieu. theatre would be worked up to

grief hy fictitious distress.

" The MR. J. the other morning, reason, fanswered Garrick) is obcoming out of the Exhibition, be- vious; we repeat a fiction as though ing asked whether a certain M. P. it were a truth; you repeat a truth was in town, said, yes--he had as though it were a fiction." just seen him on his canvas.

A Servant's Character. Eliza. A PHYSICIAN at Bath, for bisbeth Langley, the bearer hereof, visits to a dying patient, received came into my sarvice on the 12th regularly his guinea. He called of June, 1814, and continued witlo · one day when the poor man was at me till the 30th of September, 1814, the point of death. His attendant and during all that time was as being out of the way, be in a honest as the days is long. She is faultering voice begged the doctor a clean woman, and one of the to put his band into bis pocket, best cooks going. It would do and take out a guinea. " But my your heart good to taste one of her good friend, said the physician raggoos and frickseeses never Kaily) would not that be something seed any of your men cooks that

was fit to hold a candle to her you should think proper to hire she beats 'em all to pieces. She Betty, I bope and believe she will makes a Solomon Gundy fit to be turn out very honest and sober. surved up to the Princess Royal,

MATILDA ALLWRIGHT. and ber Soupe a la Roin is most monstrously tine. She bas, how Theatrical Criticism. -When ever, a trifling failing (very few of Woodward first played Sir Jolia uis are quite perfect) sbe likes a cor- Brute, Garrick was present. A few jell now and then, but never dis- days after, when they met, Woodguises berself with licker in a ward asked Garrick how he liker morning. Whilst she is sweating him in the part, adding, “ I think and stewing over tbe fire, a drap I struck out some beauties in it."now and then would not be amiss, " I think," said Garrick, " that but sbe sometimes swallows ounces you struck out all the beauties in it." instead of drams, and begins to stare like a stuck pig before she has

A GRENADIER wagered that he sent the dinner up to table. Except the immoderate use of strong with soup a body that was hanging

would, at midnight, go and feed lickers, I bave notbing to lay to

on a gibbet. "The person witha

, , she may easily break herself of whom he wagered contrived to get

behind the dead man. up

The The worst of it is, she is too purt hour being come, the grenadiet whep she is in her

cups,
and swears

brought a ladder.put it uppreshe is as sober as a judge, when she sented the soup to the dead may, is perhaps as drunk as an alderman. and smeared all bis mouth with it. Ibave nothing else to allege The man behind called out,against her, except that she is con

Comrade, your soup is very bot.** tinually cramming her nostrils with The other, not in the least disconScotch snuff, particularly when certed, answered, Why the devil hanging ber head over a made dish, then don't you blow ?". &c. and it is difficult to determine whether ber nose or the dish receives the larger portion of the A LONDONER told his friend pungent powder. If you can over that he was going to Margate for look these trifles, you will find

a change of hair. - You bad bet. Betty a very valuable sarrant. She ter,” said the other “ has no followers except two or wig maker's shop." three young fellows whom she calls cousins. I would not have parted A SURGEON being examined as rrith ber, on any consideration, a witness for the plaintiff in an ac. but I have lately missed several ar tion of assault, and asked what he ticles, and my suspicions have fale had found it necessary to do in len upon cook. God knows whe- consequence of the bruises he had ther they are properly founded received in the affray: “I bled she may be parfectly innocent bim, sir," said the surgeon.

16 And but when a servant spends more pray was.that necessary ? asked the upon ber tipple than her whole defendant counsel. “Sir, (replied wages amount to, money must be he) we always deen it necessaty to raised some bow to pay for it. If do something wbén called in."

SPORT

go to the

1

SPORTING INTELLIGENCE.

Niobe,

D. M. 200gs.

A Meeting of the Stewards and by Brown-Bread, 5 yrs old, 12st.

Members of the Jockey Club 7ib. each, two miles, 500gs. was held at the Thatched House

Newmarket July Meeting, 1815. Tavern, on the 1st of June, when

MONDAY. -Gen. Grosvenor's it was resolved, that no bets that Poodle, agst Ld F. Bentinck's shall be marle on the Derby or Monkey, 8st. 7lb. each, first balf of Oaks Stakes, after the 1st day of Ab. M. 50gs. h. ft. June, 1815, shall be considered as Sir J. Shelly's Amber, 8st. glb. play or pay, unless specified as such agst Ld F. Bentinck's Monkey, between the parties at the time the Sst. 6lb. T.Y. C. 50gs. each. bet is made.-That the above re. gulation he applicable to the St.

First October Meeting, 1815. Leger Stakes at Doncaster from

TUESDAY. ---Mr. Shakespear's the 1st day of October, 1815; and

Mr. Stovebewer's Du. agst

T. Y. C. that all bets, that have already heen essa, sst. 7lb. each. made on the Derby and Oaks Štakes 200gs. h. ft. for 1816, be considered as play or

Mr. Villiers's Cwrw, agst Mr.

Bouverie's Scheherazade, 8st 7lb. pay.

each, Ab. M. 200gs. b. ft. YORK SPRING MEETING.-We

FRIDAY.-Mr. Bouverie's Sche. are recommended to call the atten

berazade, 8st. 8lh, agst Ld G. H. tion of Sporting Gentlemen here

Cavendish's Bourbon, 8st. 216: to: it has generally been remarked, that although the accommodations Sweepstakes of 200gs. each, b. ft. bave been excellent, and plenty of

D. M. sport, much company has not at. Mr. Wyndham's Frolic 8 7 tended ; and it has been suggested Mr. Lake's Castanet 8 2 in consequence, that as the Epsom Mr. Craven's Nadejda . 7 12 and York Meeting always come

Mr. Payne's Zora, 8st. 6lb, agst near together, were the latter fixed Mr. Lake's colt, hy Granicus, dam for the Thursday, Friday, and Sa. by Y. Whiskey, sst. 2lb. D. M. turday in the week after the for: 200gs. b. ft. mer, the South Country Gentle

Lord Foley's colt, by Selim, out men would be enabled to attend, of Glory, agst Ld G. H. Cavenand the meeting generally much dish's Mouse, &st. each, Ab. M. hetter frequented.--The above will 200gs. b. ft. come under consideration in the SATURDAY,-Mr. Stonehewer's next York August Meeting.

Delville, agst Mr. Neville's Sir

Joshua, Sst. 416. each, Ab. Mile, TURF EXTRA.

5COys. York August Meeting, 1815. Second October Meeting, 1815. Mr. Featherstonbaugh's b. m. MONDAY.-Lord F. Bentinck's Zuleika, by Alonzo, 6 yrs old, agst Young Eagle, gst. 21h. agst the Mr. Reed Denbam's b. b. Kutusoff, Duke of Grafton's Discord, 7st.8lb.

Porta

st. 16.

M. B.

M. B.

....3

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Portland Course, about two miles

COCKING. and three quarters, 200gs. b. ft. MANCHESTER.-In the Race

Duke of Grafton's Minuet, 8st. weck, a main of cocks was fought alb. agst Mr. Lake's Castanet,

at the New Pit, Salford, between T. Y. C. 200gs. h.ft.

the Gentlemen of NottinghamMr. Lake's Aladdin, Sst. 7lb. shire, (Gilliver, feeder) and the agst Ld Grosvenor's Pbosphor, Gentlemen of Lancasbire, (Heap, 8st. 3lb. R. M. 200gs. h. ft. Duke of Grafton's Whisker, the main.-Statement:

feeder) for 10gs. a battle and 200gs. Sst. 8lb, agst Lori Rous's Equa

Gilliver.

Harp. . tor, Sst. llb. B. M. 200gs. b. ft.

Tuesday ..10.1

0 Lord F. Bentinck's Monkey, Wednesday !

0 1

4 1 Sst. alb. agst Mr. Payne's Zora, Thursday ..4 1

1 1 8st. Ab. M. 100gs..

Friday

o

3 2 THURSDAY.—Lord Jersey's Can- Saturday ..8 4

3 non-Ball, 8st. 10lb. agst Ld F. Bentinck's Monkey, 7st. 10lb.

26 10

11,1 Across the Flat, 200gs. l. ft. Craven Meeting, 1816.

NEWTON.-- In the Race-week, THURSDAY.–The Claret Stakes

a main of cocks was fougbt beof 200gs, each, b. ft. colts, 8st. 7lb.

tween the Earl of Derby, (Potter, fillies, Sst. 21b. D.I.

feeder) and Thomas Legh, Esq. Mr. Lake's ch, c. by Granicus, (Gilliver, feeder) consisting of 25 dam by Young Whiskey.

main and 7 byes, for 10gs, a batGen. Gower's b. c. Raphael, by tle, and 200gs, the main.-StateRubens.

ment: Lord Grosvenor's b. c. St. Se.

Potter.

Gilliver. bastian, by Castrel.

Tuesday ..2

1

3 1 1

2 0 Mr. Stonebewer's b.c. Delville, Wednesday 3

Thursday ..3 0

2 by Dick Andrews.

1 FRIDAY.—The Port Stakes of Friday 2 0

3 1

4 0 100gs, each, b. ft. colts, 8st. 7lh. Saturday ... 0 fillies, 8st. 41b. T. M. M. The owner of the second to withdraw

11

14 bis stake.

Our correspondent had not reMajor Wilson's colt, hy Walton, ceived an account of the statement out of Purity.

of the bye battles fought on SaLord Rous's ch. c. Equator, by turday, when he sent his letter. Zodiac.

Mr. Lake's b. c. Castanet, by MR. H. Allison has sold bis bay Granicus.

colt, by Windle, out of Anna-Bella, Duke of Grafton's b. c. Whisker, hy Shuttle, to bis Grace the Duke by Whiskey.

of Rutland. He won, this year, Gen. Gower's br. c. Busto, by the Foals' Stakes at Catterick, and Clinker.

a stakes at Durham. Mr. Watson's b.c. Seagrave, by Walton.

Irish TURP.-Curragh Meeting. Mr. Wyndbam's b. c. Frolic, by The King's Plate of 100 guineas Hedley.

was won on Tuesday, the 6ib inst. Mr. Stonehewer's b. f. Duessa, by Mr. Knevett's gr. c. beating by Rubens,

three others. The Garryowen

Produce

M. B.

M. B.

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