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that too within a few doors of the Palace, I must confess rather excited my curiosity, and I wrote them down in my pocket book. If you think them worth insertion, they are at your service. Your's, June 14, 1815, INSPECTOR. As you pass by this Shop, at the Old Hibernian, pray have a look,

Where Boots and Shoes are neatly made, and fitted to the Foot;

Elsewhere Royal Names, and their Ensigns they display,

But the Old Man always, and still do bear the sway.

O'SHAUGHNISSEY.

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A MAN is said to have realized a thousand a year by making port wine. A friend advised him to put over his door-inveni portum.

A GENTLEMAN about to take a boat, was beset by a number of watermen desiring to have him for a customer; he asked each of them if they could swim, which all answered in the affirmative, except one fellow, who was about to slink off, when the gentleman called to him to know if he could swim. He answered candidly, "No.""Then I have your boat," said be," for you will take care of me for your own sake."

A GENTLEMAN, who had fallen asleep during a late debate in the

House of Lords, having been awoke by a sudden elevation of Lord Liverpool's voice, observed,

it was no wonder his sleep was broken, when his Lordship was making a speech that was to disturb the repose of all Europe."

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PARSON'S WIT.

A Lawyer who, eager to see
Where the Black Diamonds grow,
Made int'rest for a trifling fee
Down a deep mine to go;

When in the shaft, grasping a rope,
A friendly Priest express'd a hope
Which prudently he'd taken,

That he would "save his bacon."

The Lawyer, jeering the good man,
Said, Parson, can you tell,
(I know you'll tell me if you can}
How far it is to H-ll?

The Pastor, shock'd at Browbeat's fling,

(The pit was yawning-Browbeat in it) Replied, You rogue, let go the string,

And H-ll you'll find in half a minute.

BRIGHTON WIT.-" Pray, Mr. Librarian," inquired a Miss in her teens, as she entered one of the li braries of this gay watering-place, arm in arm with her father, an honest citizen from London, whose countenance bore the unequivocal marks of good living, "in giving me value for about a dozen loo tickets, can you direct my atten

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tion

tion to any article in your stock that is calculated to destroy ennui, and beguile the time during a damp and tedious day?"-The librarian, without replying, politely presented to her a Morocco thread-case, a packet of patent needles, and a silver thimble." He is right," exultingly observed the citizen, "and I'll purchase the articles, if it be only in compliment to his correct judgment. Pray," he continued, "have you any thing that will suit a man of my complexion?"-The question was answered by the immediate exhibition of a set of silver decanter labels and a cork-screw.— "Excellent!" exclaimed a dasher of ton, with an abruptness not al.. together justifiable, "such emblems are the harbingers also of worth, for what can be better than good wine?"-"Good manners!" significantly observed the librarian, and the dasher bad the mortification to find that the laugh was against him.

A NEW WAY OF PAYING OLD DEBTS,
Tom having won of Dick a bet,
Nought but his note of hand could get ;
But finding that the note won't do,
Tom takes his nose in hand, in lieu.

MR. J., the other morning, coming out of the Exhibition, being asked whether a certain M. P. was in town, said, yes-he had just seen him on his canvas.

A PHYSICIAN at Bath, for his visits to a dying patient, received regularly his guinea. He called one day when the poor man was at the point of death. His attendant being out of the way, be in a faultering voice begged the doctor to put his hand into his pocket, and take out a guinea. "But my good friend, (said the physician gaily) would not that be something

like picking your pocket?" The patient, who, like Sterne's Yorick, retained a portion of wit to the last, faintly articulated, "Very like it, indeed, doctor."

A RHYMING Boniface, named Lound, of Stratford, in Essex, has lately solicited custom in the following doggrel Lines :—

At the SWAN TAVERN, kept by LoUND,
The best accommodation's found,
Wine, Spirits, Porter, Bottled Beer,
You'll find in high perfection there.
If in the Garden with your Lass,
You feel inclin'd to take a Glass,
There Tea and Coffee of the best
Provided is for every guest;
And females not to drive from thence,
His charge is only Fifteen-pence;
Or if disposed a pipe to smoke,
To sing a song, or crack a joke,
You may repair across the Green,
Where nought is heard, tho' much is seen,
And but a moderate reckoning pay,
There laugh and drink and smoke away,
Which is a most important object
To every Loyal British Subject.
In short,

The best accommodation's found
By those who deign to visit Lound.

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was fit to hold a candle to her→→→ she beats 'em all to pieces. She makes a Solomon Gundy fit to be sarved up to the Princess Royal, and her Soupe a la Roin is most monstrously fine. She has, however, a trifling failing (very few of us are quite perfect) she likes a corjell now and then, but never disguises herself with licker in a morning. Whilst she is sweating and stewing over the fire, a drap now and then would not be amiss, but she sometimes swallows ounces instead of drams, and begins to stare like a stuck pig before she has sent the dinner up to table. Except the immoderate use of strong tickers, I have nothing to lay to her charge; and that, you know, she may easily break herself of. The worst of it is, she is too purt when she is in her cups, and swears she is as sober as a judge, when she is perhaps as drunk as an alderman. I have nothing else to allege against her, except that she is continually cramming her nostrils with Scotch snuff, particularly when hanging her head over a made dish,

&c. and it is difficult to determine whether her nose or the dish receives the larger portion of the pungent powder. If you can overlook these trifles, you will find Betty a very valuable sarvant. She has no followers except two or three young fellows whom she calls cousins. I would not have parted with her, on any consideration, but I have lately missed several articles, and my suspicions have fallen upon cook. God knows whether they are properly foundedshe may be parfectly innocentbut when a servant spends more upon her tipple than her whole wages amount to, money must be raised some how to pay for it-If

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SPORTING INTELLIGENCE.

A Meeting of the Stewards and Members of the Jockey Club was held at the Thatched House Tavern, on the 1st of June, when it was resolved, that no bets that shall be made on the Derby or Oaks Stakes, after the 1st day of June, 1815, shall be considered as play or pay, unless specified as such between the parties at the time the bet is made. That the above regulation he applicable to the St. Leger Stakes at Doncaster from the 1st day of October, 1815; and that all bets, that have already been made on the Derby and Oaks Stakes for 1816, be considered as play or pay.

YORK SPRING MEETING.-We are recommended to call the attention of Sporting Gentlemen here. to: it has generally been remarked, that although the accommodations have been excellent, and plenty of sport, much company has not at. tended; and it has been suggested in consequence, that as the Epsom and York Meeting always come near together, were the latter fixed for the Thursday, Friday, and Sa turday in the week after the former, the South Country Gentlemen would be enabled to attend, and the meeting generally much better frequented. The above will come under consideration in the next York August Meeting.

TURF EXTRA.

York August Meeting, 1815. Mr. Featherstonhaugh's b. m. Zuleika, by Alonzo, 6 yrs old, agst Mr. Reed Denham's b. h. Kutusoff,

by Brown-Bread, 5 yrs old, 12st. 7ib. each, two miles, 500gs.

Newmarket July Meeting, 1815. MONDAY.- -Gen. Grosvenor's Poodle, agst Ld F. Bentinck's Monkey, 8st. 7lb. each, first half of Ab. M. 50gs. h. ft.

Sir J. Shelly's Amber, 8st. 9lb. agst Ld F. Bentinck's Monkey, Sst. 6lb. T. Y. C. 50gs. each.

First October Meeting, 1815. TUESDAY.--Mr. Shakespear's Niobe, agst Mr. Stonehewer's Duessa, Sst. 7lb. each. T. Y. C. 200gs. h. ft.

Mr. Villiers's Cwrw, agst Mr. Bouverie's Scheherazade, 8st 7lb. each, Ab. M. 200gs. b. ft.

FRIDAY.-Mr. Bouverie's Scheherazade, 8st. 8lb. agst Ld G. H. Cavendish's Bourbon, 8st. 2lb. D. M. 200gs. Sweepstakes of 200gs. each, h. ft.

D. M.

Mr. Wyndham's Frolic Mr. Lake's Castanet Mr. Craven's Nadejda .

st. lb. ...8 7

8 2 7 12

Mr. Payne's Zora, 8st. 6lb. agst Mr. Lake's colt, by Granicus, dam by Y. Whiskey, 8st. 2lb. D. M. 200gs. h. ft.

Lord Foley's colt, by Selim, out of Glory, agst Ld G. H. Cavendish's Mouse, 8st. each, Ab. M. 200gs. h. ft.

SATURDAY.-Mr. Stonehewer's Delville, agst Mr. Neville's Sir Joshua, Sst. 4lb. each, Ab. Mile, 500gs.

Second October Meeting, 1815.

MONDAY.-Lord F. Bentinck's Young Eagle, 9st. 2lb. agst the Duke of Grafton's Discord, 7st.8lb.

Port

Portland Course, about two miles and three quarters, 200gs. h. ft.

Duke of Grafton's Minuet, 8st. 1lb. agst Mr. Lake's Castanet, T. Y. C. 200gs. h. ft.

Mr. Lake's Aladdin, 8st. 71b. agst Ld Grosvenor's Phosphor, 8st. 3lb. R. M. 200gs. h. ft.

Duke of Grafton's Whisker, Sst. 8lb. agst Lord Rons's Equator, 8st. 1lb. B. M. 200gs. b. ft. . Lord F. Bentinck's Monkey, 9st. 8lb. agst Mr. Payne's Zora, 8st. Ab. M. 100gs..

THURSDAY.-Lord Jersey'sCannon-Ball, 8st. 10lb. agst Ld F. Bentinck's Monkey, 7st. 10lb.Across the Flat, 200gs. h. ft.

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Craven Meeting, 1816. THURSDAY.-The Claret Stakes of 200gs. each, b. ft. colts, 8st. 7lb. fillies, 8st. 2lb. D. 1. Mr. Lake's ch. c. by Granicus, dam by Young Whiskey.

Gen. Gower's b. c. Raphael, by

Rubens.

Lord Grosvenor's b. c. St. Sebastian, by Castrel.

Mr. Stonebewer's b. c. Delville,

by Dick Andrews.

FRIDAY.-The Port Stakes of 100gs. each, b. ft. colts, 8st. 71b. fillies, 8st. 4lb. T. M. M. The owner of the second to withdraw his stake.

Major Wilson's colt, by Walton, out of Purity.

Lord Rous's ch. c. Equator, by Zodiac.

Mr. Lake's b. c. Castanet, by Granicus.

Duke of Grafton's b. c. Whisker, by Whiskey.

Gen. Gower's br. c. Busto, by Clinker.

Mr. Watson's b. c. Seagrave, by Walton.

Mr. Wyndham's b. c. Frolic, by Hedley.

Mr. Stonehewer's b. f. Duessa, -by Rubens.

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