man; one that claims me, one that haunts me, one that will have me.

S. Ant. What claim lays fhe to thee?

S. Dro. Marry, Sir, fuch claim as you would lay to your horfe; and she would have me as a beaft: not that I being a beaft fhe would have me, but that she being a very beaftly creature, lays claim to me.

S. Ant. What is she?

S. Dro. A very reverent body; ay, fuch a one as a man may not speak of, without he say, Sir reverence: I have but lean luck in the match; and yet is fhe a wond'rous fat marriage.

S. Ant. How doft thou mean, a fat marriage?

S. Dro. Marry, Sir, fhe's the kitchen-wench, and all greafe, and I know not what use to put her to, but to make a lamp of her, and run from her by her own light. I warrant, her rags, and the tallow in them, will burn a Poland winter if the lives 'till doomsday, fhe'll burn a week longer than the whole world.

S. Ant. What complection is fhe of?

S. Dro. Swart, like my fhoe, but her face nothing like fo clean kept; for why? the fweats, a man may go overfhoes in the grime of it.

S. Ant. That's a fault that water will mend.

S. Dro. No, Sir, 'tis in grain; Noah's food could not do it.

S. Ant. What's her name?

S. Dro. Nell, Sir; but her name and three quarters, that is, an ell and three quarters, will not measure her from hip to hip.

S. Ant. Then fhe bears fome breadth?

S. Dro. No longer from head to foot, than from hip to hip; he is fpherical, like a globe: I could find out countries in her.

S. Ant. In what part of her body ftands Ireland?

S. Dro. Marry, Sir, in her buttocks; I found it out by the bogs.

S. Ant. Where Scotland?

S. Dro. I found it out by the barrennefs, hard in the palm of her hand.

S. Ant.

S. Ant. Where France?

S. Dro. In her forehead, arm'd and reverted, making war against her hair.*

S. Ant. Where England?

S. Dro. I look'd for the chalky cliffs, but I could find no whiteness in them; but I guess, it ftood in her chin, by the falt rheum that ran between France and it.

S. Ant. Where Spain?

S. Dro. 'Faith, I faw it not, but I felt it hot in her breath.

S. Ant. Where America, the Indies?

S. Dro. Oh, Sir, upon her nofe, all o'er embellifh'd with rubies, carbuncles, faphires, declining their rich aspect to the hot breath of Spain, who fent whole armadoes of carracks to be ballaft at her nofe.

S. Ant. Where stood Belgia, the Netherlands?

S. Dro. Oh, Sir, I did not look fo low. To con.lude, this drudge, or diviner, laid claim to me, call'd me Dromio, fwore I was affur'd to her, told me what privy marks I had about me, as the marks of my fhoulder, the mole in my neck, the great wart on my left arm, that I amaz'd ran from her as a witch. And I think, if my breaft had not been made of flint, and my heart of fteel, fhe had transform'd me to a cur-tail dog, and made me turn i' th' wheel. S. Ant. Go hie thee prefently; poft to the road; And if the wind blow any way from fhore, I will not harbour in this town to-night. If any bark put forth, come to the mart. Where will walk 'till thou return to me : If every one knows us, and we know none, 'Tis time, I think, to trudge, pack and be gone. S. Dro. As from a bear a man would run for life, So fly I from her that would be my wife.

SCENE IV.

[Exit.

S. Ant. There's none but witches do inhabit here;
And therefore 'tis high time that I were hence:
She that doth call me hufband, even my foul

A jingle intended between the words Hair and Heir; France being then in arms against the Heir of the Crown Henry IV.

Doth

Doth for a wife abhor. But her fair fifter,
Poffeft with fuch a gentle fovereign grace,
Of fuch inchanting prefence and discourse,
Hath almoft made me traitor to myself:
But left
my felf be guilty of felf-wrong,

I'll ftop mine ears against the mermaid's fong.
Enter Angelo with a chain.

Ang. Mafter Antipholis !

S. Ant. Ay, that's my name.

Ang. I know it well, Sir; lo, here is the chain;
I thought t' have ta'en you at the Porcupine;
The chain unfinish'd made me stay thus long.

S. Ant. What is your will that I fhall do with this?
Ang. What please your felf, Sir; I have made it for you.
S. Ant. Made it for me, Sir! I bespoke it not.

Ang. Not once, nor twice, but twenty times you have: Go home with it, and please your wife withal;

And foon at fupper-time I'll vifit you,

And then receive my mony for the chain.

S. Ant. I pray you, Sir, receive the money now,

For fear you ne'er fee chain nor mony more.

Ang. You are a merry man, Sir; fare you well. [Exit. S. Ant. What I fhould think of this, I cannot tell : .But this I think, there's no man is so vain That would refuse so fair an offer'd chain. I see a man here needs not live by shifts, When in the streets he meets fuch golden gifts: I'll to the mart, and there for Dromio ftay; If any fhip put out, then ftrait away.

Mer.

Y

ACT IV. SCENE I.

The Street.

[Exit.

Enter a Merchant, Angelo, and an Officer.
OU know fince Pentecoft the fum is due ;
And fince i have not much importun'd you';
Nor now I had not, but that I am bound

To Perfia, and want gilders for my voyage:
Therefore make present satisfaction;
Or I'll attach you by this officer.

Ang. Ev'n just the fum that I do owe to you,

Is owing to me by Antipholis;

And in the inftant that I met with you,

He had of me a chain: at five a clock

I fhall receive the mony for the fame :

Please you but walk with me down to his house,
I will discharge my bond, and thank you too.

Enter Antiph. Eph. and Dro. Eph. as from the Courtezan's,
Offi. That labour you may fave: fee where he comes.
E. Ant. While I go to the goldfmith's house, go thou
And buy a rope's end; that I will bestow
Among my wife and her confederates,
For locking me out of my doors to-day.
But foft; I fee the goldfmith: get thee gone,
Buy thou a rope, and bring it home to me.

E. Dro. I buy a thousand pound a year! I buy a rope!
[Exit Dromio,
E. Ant. A man is well holp up that trufts to you;
I promised your prefence, and the chain :
But neither chain nor goldfmith came to me:
Belike you thought our love would laft too long
If it were chain'd together; therefore came not.

Ang. Saving your merry humour, here's the note,
How much your chain weighs to the utmost carat,
The fineness of the gold, the chargeful fashion,
Which doth amount to three odd ducats more
Than I stand debted to this gentleman;

I pray you see him presently difcharg'd;
-For he is bound to fea, and ftays but for it.

E. Ant. I am not furnish'd with the prefent mony;
Befides, I have fome bufinefs in the town;

Good Signior, take the ftranger to my house,
And with you take the chain, and bid my wife
Disburse the fum on the receipt thereof;
Perchance I will be there as foon as you.

Ang. Then you will bring the chain to her your felf.
E. Ant. No; bear it with you, left Ecome not in time.
Ang. Well, Sir, I will have you the chain about you?
E. Ant. An if I have not, Sir, I hope you have:
Or else you may return without your mony.

Ang. Nay, come, I pray you, Sir, give me the chain,

Both

Both wind and tide ftay for the gentleman;

And I to blame have held him here too long.

E. Ant. Good Lord, you ufe this dalliance to excufe
Your breach of promise to the Porcupine:
I should have chid you for not bringing it;
But, like a fhrew, you first begin to brawl.

Mer. The hour fteals on: I pray you, Sir, difpatch.
Ang. You hear how he importunes me; the chain.
E. Ant. Why, give it to my wife, and fetch your mony.
Ang. Come, come, you know I gave it you ev'n now.
Or fend the chain, or fend me by fome token.

E. Ant. Fie, now you run this humour out of breath:
Come, where's the chain? I pray you, let me fee it.
Mer. My business cannot brook this dalliance:
Good Sir, fay, if you'll answer me, or no;
If not, I'll leave him to the officer.

E. Ant. I answer you? why fhould I answer you?
Ang. The money that you owe me for the chain.
E. Ant. I owe you none 'till I receive the chain.
Ang. You know I gave it you half an hour fince.
E. Ant. You gave me none; you wrong me much to
fay fo.

Ang. You wrong me more, Sir, in denying it;

Confider how it ftands upon my credit.

Mer. Well, officer, arreft him at my fuit.

Offi. I do,

And charge you in the Duke's name to obey me.
Ang. This touches me in reputation.
Either confent to pay the fum for me,
Or I attach you by this officer.

E. Ant. Confent to pay for that I never had!
Arreft me, foolish fellow, if thou dar'ft.

Ang. Here is thy fee; arreft him, officer ;
I would not spare my brother in this cafe,
If he should fcorn me fo apparently.

Offi. I do arreft you, Sir: you hear the fuit.
E. Ant. I do obey thee 'till I give thee bail.
But, firrah, you fhall buy this fport as dear
As all the metal in your hop will answer,

Ang.