And ask him, why, that hour of fairy Revel, Mrs. Ford. And 'till he tell the truth, Mrs. Page. The truth being known, Ford. The children must Be practis'd well to this, or they'll ne'er do't. Eva. I will teach the children their behaviours; and I will be like a jack-anapes alfo, to burn the knight with my taber. Ford. This will be excellent. I'll go buy them vizards. Mrs. Page. My Nan fhall be the Queen of all the fairies; Finely attired in a robe of white. Page. That filk will I go buy, and in that time Shall Mr. Slender fteal my Nan away, [Afide. And marry her at Eaton. Go, fend to Falstaff ftraight. Ford. Nay, I'll to him again in the name of Brook; he'll tell me all his purpose. Sure, he'll come. Mrs. Page. Fear not you that; go get us properties and tricking for our fairies. Eva. Let us about it, it is admirable pleasures, and ferry honeft knaveries, [Ex. Page, Ford and Evans. Mrs. Page. Go, Mrs. Ford, Send Quickly to Sir John, to know his mind. [Exit Mrs. Ford. I'll to the doctor; he hath my good will, 5 That filk will I go buy, and in that time-] Mr. Theobald referring that time to the time of buying the filk, alters it to tire. But there is no need of any change: That time evidently relating to the time of the mask with which Falfaff was to be entertained, and which makes the whole fubject of this dialogue. Therefore the common reading is right. And And none but he, to marry with Nan Page. The doctor is well mony'd, and his friends Potent at court; he, none but he fhall have her; Tho' twenty thoufand worthier came to crave her. SCENE VIII. Changes to the Garter-Inn. Hoft. W [Exit HAT would'st thou have, boor? what, thick-skin? speak, breathe, difcufs; brief, fhort, quick, fnap. Simp. Marry, Sir, I come to fpeak with Sir John Falstaff, from Mr. Slender. Hoft. There's his chamber, his house, his castle, his ftanding-bed and truckle-bed; 'tis painted about with the story of the Prodigal, fresh and new; go, knock and call; he'll fpeak like an anthropophaginian unto thee: knock, I fay. Simp. There's an old woman, a fat woman gone up into his chamber; I'll be fo bold as ftay, Sir, 'till the come down: I come to speak with her, indeed. Hoft. Ha! a fat woman? the Knight may be robb'd: I'll call. Bully-Knight! Bully-Sir John! fpeak from thy lungs military: art thou there? it is thine Hoft, thine Ephefian calis. Falstaff, above. Fal. How now, mine Hoft? Hoft. Here's a Bohemian-Tartar tarries the coming down of thy fat woman: let her defcend, bully, let her defcend; my chambers are honourable. Fie, privacy? fie! Enter Enter Falftaff. Fal. There was, mine Host, an old fat woman even now with me, but fhe's gone. Simp. Pray you, Sir, was't not the wife woman of Brainford? Fal. Ay, marry was it, muffel-fhell, what would you with her? Simp. My mafter, Sir, my mafter Slender fent to her, seeing her go thro' the street, to know, Sir, whether one Nym, Sir, that beguil'd him of a chain, had the chain, or no. Fal. I fpake with the old woman about it. Fal. Marry, fhe fays, that the very fame man, that beguil'd mafter Slender of his chain, cozen'd him of it. Simp. I would, I could have spoken with the woman herself; I had other things to have spoken with her too, from him. Fal. What are they? let us know. Simp. I may not conceal them, Sir. Simp. Why, Sir, they were nothing but about miftrefs Anne Page; to know, if it were my mafter's fortune to have her or no. Fal. 'Tis, 'tis his fortune. Simp. What, Sir? Fal. To have her, or no: go; fay, the woman told me fo. Simp. May I be fo bold to fay fo, Sir? Fal. Ay, Sir; like who more bold. Simp. I thank your worship: I fhall make my maf ter glad with these tidings. [Exit Simple. Hoft. Thou art clarkly; thou art clarkly, Sir John: was there a wife woman with thee? Fal. Ay, that there was, mine Hoft; one, that hath taught taught me more wit than ever I learn'd before in my life; and I paid nothing for it neither, but was paid for my learning. Bard. Out, alas, Sir, cozenage! meer cozenage! Hoft. Where be my horfes, fpeak well of them, varletto. Bard. Run away with the cozeners; for fo foon as I came beyond Eaton, they threw me off from behind one of them in a flough of mire, and fet fpurs, and away, like three German devils, three Doctor Faufous's. Hoft. They are gone but to meet the Duke; villain; do not fay, they are fled; Germans are honeft men. Enter Evans. Eva. Where is mine Hoft? Hoft. What is the matter, Sir? Eva. Have a care of your entertainments; there is a friend o' mine come to town, tells me, there is three cozen-jermans that has cozen'd all the Hofts of Reading, of Maidenhead, of Colebrook, of horses and mony. I tell you for good will, look you; you are wife, and full of gibes and vlouting-stocks, and 'tis not convenient you should be cozen'd; fare you well. [Exit. Enter Caius. Caius. Ver' is mine Hoft de Jartere? Hoft. Here, mafter Doctor, in perplexity and doubtful dilemma. Caius. I cannot tell vat is dat; but it is tell-a-me, dat you make a grand preparation for a Duke de Jamany; but my trot, der is no Duke, dat the Court is know, to come: I tell you for good will; adieu. [Exit. Hoft. Hoft. Hue and cry, villain, go! affift me, Knight, I am undone; fly, run, hue and cry! Villain, I am undone ! [Exit. Fal. I would, all the world might be cozen'd, for I have been cozened and beaten too. If it should come to the ear of the Court, how I have been transformed, and how my transformation hath been wash'd and cudgel'd, they would melt me out of my fat, drop by drop, and liquor fishermens boots with me. I warrant, they would whip me with their fine wits, 'till I were as creft-faln as a dry'd pear. I never profper'd fince I forfwore myself at Primero. Well, if my wind were but long enough to fay my prayers, I would repent. Now, whence come you ? Quic. From the two parties, forfooth. Fal. The devil take one party, and his dam the other, and fo they fhall be both bestow'd. I have fuffer'd more for their fakes, more than the villainous inconftancy of man's difpofition is able to bear. Quic. And have not they fuffer'd? yes, I warrant, fpeciously one of them; mistress Ford, good heart, is beaten black and blue, that you cannot fee a white spot about her. Fal. What tell'ft thou me of black and blue? I was beaten myself into all the colours of the rainbow; and I was like to be apprehended for the witch of Brainford; but that my admirable dexterity of wit, counterfeiting the action of an old woman, deliver'd me, the knave constable had fet me i'th' ftocks, i'th' common ftocks, for a witch, Quic. Sir, let me speak with you in your chamber; you fhall hear how things go, and, I warrant, to your content. |