frailties of the human race, they have, among others, no small portion of conceit. They think that idleness is a very easy thing to practise; they view it as the opposite of all action, and conceive that when they have once resolved to do nothing, they may enjoy the bliss of inactivity. Now it ought to be one purpose of our new college, to give a course of lectures tending to expose the fallacy of such opinions, and to persuade the idle that they have entered upon a kind of life far more laborious than they have any idea of; and a kind of life which requires the utmost ingenuity to make it endurable. The learned professor may also explain to them, that their ignorance in these points constitutes the great misfortune of their condition, that the proper practice of sloth requires a good deal of preparatory knowledge, and that they cannot be supposed to go about dreaming all their lives without being duly instructed in the art of walking in their sleep. It is surely a most pitiable case to see a man possessed of length of days and of purse, honestly desirous of getting rid of both in the genteelest manner possible, and yet so ignorant and helpless as not to know how to be lazy with a good grace, nor how to turn even a week's sluggishness to a good account.

It must therefore be a leading object in the instructions given at this new academy, to divest the students of all former prejudices in their own favour; and of every foolish conceit, that they can endure the toils and fatigue of Idleness without a due course of precepts upon the subject. It will not be less necessary to eradicate an opinion, which is too prevalent, that some men are born to be idle, that there is in some a genius for Indolence, as there is a genius for poetry, painting, or musick. The case is precisely the reverse; for where there is a genius for the fine arts, it cannot be restrained, nor can it be taught: but there is no such inherent disposition to laziness, and it is very certain that the most worthless and ignorant of mankind may take up the trade of Idleness, and make considerable progress in it, although, for reasons already given, they will be liable to many mistakes if they do not submit to some instructions such as are now proposed. There is, however, an excuse to be made for those who embrace a life of indolence. It is at first so apparently easy that they think it will always remain so. A man who can make a shift to idle away six weeks at a watering-place in the summer, longs for the time may retire from business and employ

when he

a whole year, and even many years, in doing nothing. The happy time comes; and the first account we receive of the success of his experiment is from the coroner's jury.

And this, by the way, leads me to remark, that a very useful course of lectures might be given at our new college, on the art and mystery (for such it often is) of Retirement: when a sober citizen makes a sudden transition from doing something to doing nothing; exchanges time that was generally too short for business, for time that is always too long for idleness; and ventures upon the whole of a year, particularly on that unhappy part of it called Winter, without the least knowledge how one hour may be spent. This course of lectures might be illustrated by some wellknown instances. My old friend HUMPHREY BUSTLETON occurs to my mind on this occasion. Humphrey determined to leave off business at a proper time, as he called it, about the age of sixty-five, bought a large house, garden and farm, and determined to enjoy himself, and make himself amends for all his fatigues, by commencing a life of complete indolence. About a year after his retirement, some friends obeyed his pressing invitation to visit his mansion; and knowing that beyond the business

of the shop, he had not an idea, nor any inclination to acquire one, they asked him, how he spent his time. his time. To answer this he had no ob

1

jection:

66

Gentlemen, when know one

you

day, you know all. I get up every morning by day-break, or about six o'clock - always was an early riser- then I walk down the lane to the Fox and Grapes, and there I have a little purl, and get into conversation with the farmers' men- come home to breakfast — after breakfast I take a walk again to the Fox and Grapes; by this time the papers are come in, and I read the papers then I come home, and dress for dinner :- after dinner, as I have nobody but my wife and daughter, and it is lonesome talking with them, I take a walk again to the Fox and Grapes, and have some rum and water, and smoke a pipe with Old Jerry, the landlord then I come home and

have some tea : and in the evening, as one can't stay by oneself, I walk again to the Fox and Grapes, and there I spend the evening with the club — and get home about eleven, when

Robert comes with the lanthorn."

Το

some, this

may appear a perfect course of idleness; but, were our college erected, I doubt not but that my friend Humphrey might - obtain some instructions that would greatly im

prove his plan, especially as, of late, a dropsical and rheumatic habit has interrupted his scheme of idleness, and has convinced him of what he was very unwilling to believe, namely,' that a time would arrive, a time for which he had made no preparation, when he could neither go to the Fox and Grapes, nor the Fox and Grapes come to him.

But what would be perhaps the most important consideration in the institution of a College for Idlers, is the present unhappy state of amusements. And here there is a wonderful difference of opinion, moralists holding that our amusements are too numerous for the busy; while the persons who are the subjects of this paper contend that they are too few for the idle. Both opinions, however, may be right, although the parties are not likely to unite in removing their respective grievances. But certainly the interests of the indolent and of the trifling seem to require some addition to be made to the pleasurable modes of getting rid of the enemy Time: and it is not a little to the credit of modern ingenuity, that so many additions have lately been made to the stock both of public and private amusement. The hours of meeting, too, are under such wise regulations, that not only the day, but the night