Then, if you break a roguish jest,
Or fqueeze her hand, or pat her breast,
She cries, Oh, dear Sir, don't be naught!
And blushes fpeak her last night's fault.
To her your houfhold cares confide,
Let your keys jingle at her fide.

A footman's blunders teaze and fret ye;
Ev'n while you chide, you fmile on Betty,
Difcharge him then, if he's too fpruce;
For Betty's for his mafter's ufe.

Will you your amorous fancy baulk,
For fear fome prudifh neighbour talk?
But you
'll object, that you 're afraid
Of the pert freedoms of a maid.
Besides, your wifer heads will fay,
That the who turns her hand this way,
From one vice to another drawn,
Will lodge your filver-fpoons in pawn.
Has not the homely wrinkled jade
More need to learn the pilfering trade?
For love all Betty's wants fupplies,
Laces her fhoes, her manteau dyes,
All her ftuff-fuits the flings away,
And wears thread-fattin every day.

Who then a dirty drab would hire,
Brown as the hearth of kitchen-fire ;
When all must own, were Betty put
To the black duties of the flut,
As well fhe fcours or fcrubs a floor,
And ftill is good for fomething more?

Thus, to avoid the greater vice,.
I knew a Priest, of confcience nice,
To quell his luft for neighbour's spouse,
Keep fornication in his house.

But your 're impatient all this time,
Fret at my counsel, curfe my rhyme.
Be fatisfy'd I'll talk no more,

:

For thus my tale begins-Of yore
There dwelt at Blois a Priest full fair,
With rolling eye and crisped hair ;
His chin hung low, his brow was fleek,.
Plenty lay basking on his cheek;
Whole days at cloyfter-grates he fate,
Ogled, and talk'd of this and that
So feelingly, the Nuns lamented
That double-bars were e'er invented.
If he the wanton wife confeft,

With downcaft eye, and heaving breaft;
He ftroak'd her cheek to still her fear,
And talk'd of fins en cavalier;

Each time enjoin'd her penance mild,
And fondled on her like his child.
At every jovial goffip's feaft
Pere Bernard was a welcome guest;
Mirth fuffer'd not the least restraint,
He could at will shake off the faint;
Nor frown'd he when they freely spoke,
But fhook his fides, and took the joke;
Nor fail'd he to promote the jeft,
And fhar'd the fins which they confeft.

Yet

Yet, that he might not always roam,
He kept conveniencies at home.
His maid was in the bloom of beauty,
Well-limb'd for every focial duty;
He meddled with no houfhold cares,
To her confign'd his whole affairs:
She of his study kept the keys,
For he was ftudious-of his ease:
She had the power of all his locks,
Could rummage every cheft and box;
Her honesty such credit gain'd,
Not ev'n the cellar was restrain'd.

In troth it was a goodly fhow,
Lin'd with full hogfheads all a-row.
One veffel, from the rank remov'd,
Far dearer than the reft he lov'd;
Pour la bonne bouche 'twas fet aside,
To all but choiceft friends deny'd.
He now and then would fend a quart,.
To warm some wife's retentive heart,
Against confeffion's fullen hour:
Wine has all fecrets in its power.
At common feafts it had been waste,
Nor was it fit for layman's taste.
If monk or friar were his gueft,
They drank it; for they know the best.
Nay, he at length fo fond was grown,
He always drank it when-alone.
Who fhall recount his civil labours,
In pious vifits to his neighbours ?

Whene'er weak husbands went aftray,
He guefs'd their wives were in the way:
"Twas then his charity was flown,

He chofe to fee them when alone.
Now was he bent on cuckoldom :
He knew friend Dennis was from home:
His wife (a poor neglected beauty,
Defrauded of a hufband's duty)

Had often told him at confeffion,

How hard the ftruggled 'gainft tranfgreffion.
He now refolves, in heat of blood,

To try how firm her virtue stood.

He knew that wine (to love beft aid)
Has oft' made bold the shame-fac'd maid,
Taught her to romp, and take more freedoms,
Than nymphs train'd-up at Smith's or Needham's.
A mighty bottle ftrait he chofe,

Such as might give two Friars their dofe.
Nannette he call'd: the cellar-door
She ftraight unlocks, defcends before;
He follow'd clofe. But when he fpies
His favourite cafk; with lifted eyes
And lifted hands aloud he cries,
Heigh-day my darling wine aftoop!
It must, alas! have fprung a hoop.
That there's a leak is past all doubt,
(Reply'd the maid)—I 'll find it out.
She fets the candle down in haste,
Tucks her white apron round her waist.

I

}

The

The hogfhead's mouldy fide afcends;
She straddles wide, and downward bends:
So low fhe stoops to feek the flaw,
Her coats rose up, her master saw-
I fee-he cries (then clafpt her fast)
The leak through which my wine has past.
Then all in hafte the maid defcended,

And in a trice the leak was mended.
He found in Nannette all he wanted,
So Dennis' brows remain'd unplanted.
Ere fince this time, all lufty Friars
(Warm'd with predominant defires,
Whene'er the flesh with fpirit quarrels)
Look on the sex as leaky barrels.
Beware of thefe, ye jealous spouses!
From fuch-like coopers guard your houses;
For, if they find not work at home,
For jobbs through all the town they roam..

THE