your felf in that thought; for you are almost the only Woman to whom one can fafely address the praises of another. Befides can you imagine a Man of my importance fo ftupid, as to fay fine things to you before your Hufband? Let us fee how far Lady M---- her felf dares do any thing like it, with all the wit and addrefs fhe is miftrefs of. If Sir Robert can be fo ignorant (now he is left to himself in the country) to imagine any fuch matter, let him know from me, that here in town every thing that Lady fays, is taken for Satire. For my part, every body, knows it is my conftant practice to fpeak Truth; and I never do it more than when I call my felf Your, &c. LETTER IV: To a Lady in the Name of her Brother. IF you have not a chafte ear and a pure heart, do not perufe this Letter; for as Jeremy Taylor fays in his holy living and dying, the first thing a Virgin ought to endeavour, is to be ignorant of the diftinction of Sexes. It is in the confidence I have that you are thus innocent, that I endeavour to gratify your curiosity in a point, in which I am fenfible none but a Brother could do it with decency. I fhall entertain you with the most reigning Curiofity in the town; I mean a Perfon who is equally the toast of gentlemen and ladies, and is at prefent more univerfally admired than any of either Sex. You know few proficients have a greater genius for Monfters, than my felf; but I never tafted a monster to that degree I have done this creature. It was not, not, like other monfters, produced in the Defarts of. Arabia, nor came from the country of the Great Mogul; but is the production of the joint-endeavours of a Kentish Parfon and his Spoufe, who intended in. the fingleness of heart to have begot a christian but of one fex, and providence has fent them one of two. There are various opinions concerning this Creature about town. Mr. Cromwell obferves that the Age is very licentious, and the present Reign very ewd and corrupt, in permitting a Lady by Authority (as appears by the printed bills) to expofe her perfonal curiofities for a fhilling. Mr. P---- looks upon it as a Prodigy portending fome great Revolution in the State; to ftrenghten which opinion, he produces the following Prophecy of Noftradamus, which he explains politically. When as two Sexes join'd in One, Mrs. N------ admires what people wonder at fo much; and fays fhe is just fo herself. The Dutchefs of S-- is of the fame opinion. Among these various conjectures, that I might be informed of the truth, I took along with me a Phyfician and a Divine; the one to infpect the state of its Body, the other to examine that of its Mind. The perfons I made choice of were the ingenious Dr. P---- and the reverend Mr. We were no fooner in the room, but the Party came to us dreft in that habit, in which the Ladies affect an Hermophroditical imitation of Men fharp wit, my dear Sifter, will immediately conclude that I mean a Riding-habit. your Among I think it not material to inform you, whether the Doctor, the Divine, or my felf look'd firft. The Priest you will malicioufly fancy was in his nature most an Infidel, and doubted moft of this Miracle we therefore propos'd to him to take the fureft method of believing, feeing and feeling. He comply'd with both admonitions, and having taken a large pinch of fnuff upon it, advis'd us with a nod, that we fhould by no means regard it as a Female but asa Male, for by fo doing we should be guilty of lefs finfulness. The Doctor upon infpection differ'd from this opinion; he wou'd by no means allow it a miracle, or at moft a natural one. He faid upon the whole it was a woman; that whatever might give a handle to think otherwife, was a trifle; nothing being more common than for a child to be mark'd with that thing which the mother long'd for. As for this Party's temper of mind, it appears to be a most even difpofition, partaking of the good qualities of both fexes; for fhe is neither fo inacceffible as other Ladies, nor is he fo impudent as other Gentlemen. Of how obliging and complaifant a turn appears by this; that he tells the Ladies he has the Inclinations of a Gentleman, and that fhe tells the Gentlemen fhe has the Tendre of a Lady. As a further proof of this affable difpofition, he formerly receiv'd vifits of the fair fex in their mafques; till an impertinent fellow in a female difguife mingled with a party of ladies, and impudently overheard their improving Speculations. Notwithstanding this, fhe civilly promised at my request, that my two fifters fhould be admitted privately, whenever you would do her the honour of your confideration. How agreeable foever this fight has been to me, I affure you it cannot be so pleasing as the fight of you in town; an whatever you may fee in the counD try try, I dare affirm no man or woman can fhew you the like. I therefore earneftly defire you to make hafte to this place; for tho' indeed like most other brothers, I fhould be forry you were married at my expence ;' yet I would by no means, like them, detain you in the country from your admirers: for you may believe me, no brother in the world ever lov'd a fifter as I do you. I am, &c. LETTER V.. Bath, 1714. 40 YOU U are to understand, Madam, that my paffion for your fair felf and your fifter, has been divided with the most wonderful regularity in the world.. Even from my infancy I have been in love with one after the other of you, week by week; and my journey to Bath fell out in the three hundred feventy fixth week of the reign of my Sovereign Lady Sylvia. At the prefent writing hereof it is the three hundred eighty ninth week of the Reign of your most Serene Majefty, in whofe Service I was lifted fome weeks before I beheld your Sifter. This information will account for my writing to either of you hereafter, as either fhall happen to be QueenRegent at that time. Pray tell your fifter, all the good qualities and virtuous inclinations fhe has, never gave me so much. pleafure in her converfation, as that one vice of her obftinacy will give me mortification this month. Ratcliff commands her to the Bath, and the refuses! Indeed if I were in Berkshire I fhould honour her for this obftinacy, and magnify her no lefs for difobedience than we do the Barcelonians. But people change with the change of places (as we fee of late) and virtues become vices when they ceafe to be for one's intereft, with me, as with others. Yet Yet let me tell her, fhe will never look fo finely while fhe is upon earth, as fhe would here in the water. It is not here as in most other inftances; for thofe Ladies that would please extremely, must go out of their own element. She does not make half fo good a figure on horfeback as Chriftina Queen of Sweden; but were the once feen in the Bath, no man wou'd part with her for the beft Mermaid in chriftendom. You know I have feen you often, I perfectly know how you look in black and in white; I have experienc'd the utmoft you can do in colours; but all your movements, all your graceful fteps deserve not half the glory you might here attain, of a moving and eafy behaviour in Buckram: Something between fwimming and walking, free enough, and more modeftly-half-naked, than you can appear any where else. You have conquer'd enough already by land; fhow your ambition, and vanquish alfo by water. We have no pretty Admirals on thefe Seas, but muft ftrike fail to your white Flags, were they once hoifted up. The Buckram I mention is a drefs particularly useful at this time, when we are told the Princess is bringing over the fafhion of German Ruffs. You ought to use yourselves to fome degrees of stiffness beforehand. And when our Ladies chins have been tickled a-while with ftarch'd muflin and wire, they may poffibly bear the brush of a German beard and whisker. 1219 I cou'd tell you a delightful ftory of Dr. P. but want room to difplay it in all its fhining circumftances. He had heard it an excellent cure for Love, to kifs the Aunt of the perfon beloved, who is generally of years and experience enough to damp the fiercest flame: he try'd this courfe in his paffion, and kifs'd Mrs. E--- at Mr. D---'s; but he fays it will not do, and that he loves you as much as ever. Your, &c. |