The RAPE of the TR a f. A BALLA D, 1737. WAS in a land of learning, Such pranks of late Were play'd by a rat, As-tempt one to be witty. All in a college study, Where books were in great plenty ; This rat would devour More fenfe in an hour, Than I cou'd write-in twenty. Corporeal food, 'tis granted, Serves vermin lefs refin'd, Sir; But this, a rat of taste, All other rats furpass'd; And he prey'd on the food of the mind, Sir; His breakfaft, half the morning, He conftantly attended; And when the bell rung For evening fong, His dinner fcarce was ended! He fpar'd not ev'n heroics, On which we poets pride us; And And wou'd make no more In books of geo-graphy, He made the maps to flutter: A river or a fea Was to him a dish of tea;, And a kingdom, bread and butter.. But if fome mawkish potion Might chance to over-dose him,: To check its rage, He took a page Of logic-to compofe him A trap, in haste and anger, Was bought, you need not doubt on't; And, fuch was the gin, Where a lion once got in, He could not, I think, get out on't. With cheese, not books, 'twas baited, Since none-I'll tell you that- Mind books, when he has other diet. But more of trap and bait, Sir, Why should I fing, or either? Since the rat, who knew the flight, And dragg'd them away together: It now may feem, Had then a dozen or more in. Then answer this, ye fages! Nor deem a man to wrong ye, That England's topfy-turvy, Is clear from thefe mishaps, Sir; Let fophs, by rats infested, Then truft in cats to catch 'em; Left *Written at the time of the Spanish depredations. No mortal fits to watch 'em. Good luck betide our captains; May quell the Spanish Don, And the other destroy our rats, Sir. On certain PASTORALS. So rude and tunelefs are thy lays, The weary audience vow, 'Tis not th' Arcadian fwain that fings, But 'tis his herds that low. THY verfes, friend, are Kidderminster * stuff, To the VIRTUOSO S. HAIL, curious wights! to whom fo fair The form of mortal flies is! Who deem thofe grubs beyond compare, Whether Famous for a coarfe woollen manufacture, Whether o'er hill, morafs, or mound, You make your sportsman fallies; Or painted wings reward you. Fierce as Camilla o'er the plain 'Tis you difpenfe the favourite meat Know what conferves they chufe to eat, And what liqueurs to tipple. And if her brood of infects dies, You fage affiftance lend her; 'Tis you protect their pregnant hour; Prevent a mothless land. Yet oh! howe'er your towering view Whate'er refinements you pursue, Hear, what a friend advises: A friend, |