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came with such power to my soul, “It is a faithful saying, and worthy of all acceptation, that Jesus Christ came into the world to save sinners;" which words broke my heart. These lines in Mr. Hart's Hymns followed,
Sinners are high in his esteem,
Never can there be a more cordial meeting with the nearest friends in the flesh, than there was betwixt Jesus Christ and me a poor sinner; my joys were so very great, that I cried out, It is enough! It is enough! And had it continued so, I could no more have done any business; but lie was pleased to withdraw, and the sensible loss of the presence of my Lord was almost death to my soul; no one then was company
poor Mary Magdalene in her deserted state, “ They have taken away my Lord, and I know not where they have laid him;" which were the very feelings of my soul; at which time I begged him to do it over again, which he did, time after time, from Thursday till Sunday.
I was not at the chapel on Sunday morning, which I was not sorry for, for I could not have contained myself, my heart was so broken; not with terror, but with grief that I should crucify the Lord of glory. In the evening I went to hear you, but I had lost my peace, and I do not remember your text, but I thought the whole discourse went against me; I thought that the new wine had been put into an old bottle, and that the bottle would burst; and the wine be spilled, and that I had not got the righteousness of Christ upon me, which drove me almost to desperation. In this condition I came home, and continued begging the Lord to come again; and on the next day, which was Monday, bless him, he did come. I then was grieved that it had not been done under your ministry. I went to chapel, begging that he would be pleased to speak to me by you. The hymn that was given out was composed from, “ Is not this a brand plucked out of the fire?" I had lost my Comforter, and said to myself
, This is very suitable, but it is not for me; there I sat fretting and mourning for my Lord to come. You took your text out of John; “And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you for ever.” In opening it you spoke much upon the Trinity, which was a grief to me, for I wanted comfort; but when you began to explain the operation of the Spirit upon the soul, had I told you all that I had experienced, you could not have laid it down more plain than you did. You told me it was not me, but the Spirit in me witnessing my adoption and that made me cry, Abba, Father! You treated of the Spirit's being an earnest of the hcavenly glory, and made a comparison, that i person engaging a servant for twenty guineas a year, and giving one as an earnest to bind the bargain, but at the year's end the other nineteen
were to be received; so you told me from the pule pit that it was the case with me. I cried out, It is enough! and went home rejoicing, and told them in the house what God had done for my soul.
In a day or two after, a person called on me and asked me how I was for clothing; it rather struck me, but I replied, Christ is the end of the law for righteousness to every one that believes; they told me there was a mystery in that, and I must go down to the bottom of the garden to get at it. I replied, The effect of righteousness is peace, and I have got it. But this gave me no small shake, and made me to beg hard of the Lord to perfect the work he had begun on my soul, as it was all his own; and bless him, he makes us pray for things which he designs to give; for in every sermon you preached afterwards you brought forth the righteousness of Christ, and made it appear plain that I had got it, and that I was safe in it.
I shall tire you with reading my scribble, but must go a little further. In a few days after, when upon my knees begging to God to guide me and keep me humble at his feet, and telling him that I was not fit to be trusted by myself alone, these words flowed into my mind, I will instruct thee and lead thee in the way everlasting; which then was, and has been many times since, a great support to me in times of trouble, and when under the hidings of the Lord's countenance.
Sir, I live among many who have a form of godliness, but I fear they are destitute of the power; nay, I believe in my heart that some of them hate it and them that speak of it. Sometimes I have found gratitude and thankfulness flow out to the Lord for choosing such an one as me out from among them, who am so vile and ignorant, and while he hath left so many behind that are so wise and prudent; but they read the Bible to us, and put their own constructions on it, and speak against the doctrine that you preach, though I know it is the truth; this puzzles and frets me so that I can scarce bear to sit to hear it; but this I do know, that the Lord opened this door to me, and has blessed me in it, so that I am afraid of doing any thing without seeing his hand going before me.
I have desired often to speak to you, but have been afraid to come. When I first began to write this, I was very happy in my soul, which comfort came under a discourse which
had preached. Then I thought I would tell you what the Lord had done for me under your ministry, but a fear of pride and presumption seized me, so that I gave over, and locked the scraps'up; but finding the Lord precious to me soon after, I could not be satisfied without letting you know it. I thought I would send a few lines, but none of that which I had written before; but these words came to my mind, “ What I have written, I have written;" so then I began to join inore to the old piece, and have blundered on thus far, but I fear in such manner that you will not be able to read it; but it is the truth, and I hope you will pardon the liberty I have taken ; and may the Lord bless you and yours. So prays
Your humble servant and sincere follower,
To L. A.
MY SISTER AND DAUGHTER IN CHRIST JESUS,
Tuine epistle came safe to hand, a love letter written under the influence of divine love, and is the blessed effects of a love-visit; and the comfortable and sure tokens of the divine Wooer and everlasting Lover of poor perishing sinners. Thou art in covenant with God, within the bonds of it, in eternal union with him. Upon the servant, upon the handmaid, lie hath poured out his Spirit. Say, Amen, and put thy seal to this, that he is true; and I say God shall confirm it, that the Coalheaver hath one more seal to his commission, one more fruit to his labour, one morejewel to his future crown of joy and rejoicing, and God shall add