Away they rode in homely fort,
Their Journey long, their Money fhort;
The loving Couple well bemir'd;
The Horfe and both the Riders tir'd;
Their Victuals bad, their Lodging worfe;
Phyl cry'd, and John began to curfe;
Phyl wif'd, that she had strain'd a Limb,
When first she ventur'd out with him ;.
John wifh'd, that he had broke a Leg,
When first for her he quitted Peg.
BUT what Adventures more befel 'em,
The Mufe hath now no Time to tell 'em ;
How Johnny wheedled, threaten'd, fawn'd,
Till Phyllis all her Trinkets pawn'd:
How oft fhe broke her Marriage Vows,
In Kindness, to maintain her Spouse.
Till Swains unwholesome spoil'd the Trade
For now the Surgeons must be paid,
To whom those Perquifites are gone,
In Christian Justice due to John.
WHEN Food and Raiment now grew scarce, Fate put a Period to the Farce,
And with exact Poetick Juftice;
For John is Landlord, Phyllis Hostess:
They keep, at Staines, the Old Blue-Boar,
Are Cat and Dog, and Rogue and Whore.
HE Farmer's Goose, who in the Stubble
Has fed without Restraint, or Trouble;
Grown fat with Corn, and fitting ftill,
Can fcarce get o'er the Barn-Door Sill:
And hardly waddles forth, to cool
Her Belly in the neighb'ring Pool :
Nor loudly cackles at the Door;
For cackling fhews the Goofe is poor.
BUT when the must be turn'd to graze,
And round the barren Common strays,
Hard Exercife, and harder Fare,
Soon make my Dame grow lank and spare:
Her Body light, fhe tries her Wings,'
And fcorns the Ground, and upward fpring,
While all the Parish, as fhe flies,
Hear Sounds harmonious from the Skies.
SUCH is the Poet, fresh in Pay,
(The third Night's Profits of his Play;
His Morning-Draughts 'till Noon can fwill,
Among his Brethren of the Quill:
With good Roast Beef his Belly full,
Grown lazy, foggy, fat, and dull,
Deep funk in Plenty, and Delight,
What Poet e'er could take his Flight?
Or ftuff'd with Phlegm up to the Throat,
What Poet e'er could fing a Note?
Nor Pegafus could bear the Load,
Along the high celeftial Road;
The Steed, opprefs'd, would break his Girth,
To raife the Lumber from the Earth.
BUT, view him in another Scene,
When all his Drink is Hippocrene,
His Money spent, his Patrons fail,
His Credit out for Cheefe and Ale;
His Two Years Coat fo fmooth and bare,
Through ev'ry Thread it lets in Air ;
With hungry Meals his Body pin'd,
His Guts and Belly full of Wind;
And like a Jockey for a Race,
His Flesh brought down to Flying-Cafe:
Now his exalted Spirit loaths
Incumbrances of Food and Cloaths:
And up he rifes, like a Vapour,
Supported high on Wings of Paper;
He finging flies, and flying fings,
While from below all Grubstreet rings.
The Progress of BEAUTY.
HEN firft Diana leaves her Bed,
Vapours and Steams her Looks difgrace,
A frowzy dirty-colour'd Red
Sits on her cloudy wrinkled Face;
But, by Degrees, when mounted high,
Her artificial Face appears,,
Down from her Window in the Sky,
Her Spots are gone, her Vifage clears. 'Twixt earthly Females and the Moon, All Parallels exactly run;,
If Celia fhould appear too foon,
Alas, the Nymph would be undone !
To fee her from her Pillow rife,
All reeking in a cloudy Steam,
Crack'd Lips, foul Teeth, and gummy Eyes,
Poor Strephon, how wou'd he blafpheme!
Three Colours, Black, and Red and White,
So graceful in their proper Place,
Remove them to a diff'rent Light,
They form a frightful hideous Face:
For Inftance, when the Lilly fkips
Into the Precincts of the Rofe,
And takes Poffeffion of the Lips,
Leaving the Purple to the Nofe
So Celia went entire to Bed,
All her Complexion fafe and found;
But, when the rofe, White, Black, and Red,
Tho' ftill in Sight had chang'd their Ground.
The Black, which would not be confin'd,
A more inferior Station fee ks,
Leaving the fiery Red behind,
And mingles in her muddy Cheeks.
But Celia can with Eafe reduce,"
By Help of Pencil, Paint, and Brufh,
Each Colour to its Place and Ufe,
And teach her Checks again to blush.
She knows her early felf no more;
But, fill'd with Admiration, ftands,
As other Painters oft 'adore
The Workmanship of their own' Hands.
Thus, after four important Hours,
Celia's the Wonder of her Sex :*
Say, which among the heav'nly Pow'rs
Could caufe fuch marvellous Effects?
Venus, indulgent to her Kind,
Gave Women all their Hearts could wish,
When first she taught them where to find'
Whi e Lead and * Lufitanian Dish.
Love with White Lead cements his Wings;
White Lead was fent us to repair
Two brightest, brittleft, earthly Things,
A Lady's Face, and China Ware.
She ventures now to lift the Sash,
The Window is her proper Sphere:
Ah lovely Nymph! be not too rafh,
Nor let the Beaux approach too near:
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