Signior Fabian, stay you by [Exit Sir Toby. his lord and my niece confirms no less; therefore this what my offence to him is; it is something of my neletter, being so excellently ignorant, will breed no ter-gligence, nothing of my purpose. ror in the youth, he will find it comes from a clodpole. Sir To. I will do so. But, sir, I will deliver his challenge by word of mouth; this gentleman till my return. set upon Ague-cheek a notable report of valour; and drive the gentleman, (as, I know, his youth will aptly receive it,) into a most hideous opinion of his rage, skill, fury, and impetuosity. This will so fright them both, that they will kill one another by the look, like cockatrices. Enter OLIVIA and VIOLA. Fab. Here he comes with your niece: give them way, till he take leave, and presently after him! Sir To. I will meditate the while upon some horrid message for a challenge. [Exeunt Sir Toby, Fabian, and Maria. Oli. I have said too much unto a heart of stone, And laid mine honour too unchary out : There's something in me, that reproves my fault; But such a headstrong potent fault it is, That it but mocks reproof. Vio. With the same haviour, that your passion bears, Go on my master's griefs. Oli. Here, wear this jewel for me, 'tis my picture; Vio. Nothing but this, your true love for my master. Oli. How with mine honour may I give him that, Which I have given to you? Vio. I will acquit you. Oli. Well, come again to-morrow! Fare thee well! A fiend, like thee, might bear my soul to hell. Re-enter Sir TOBY BELCH, and FABIAN. [Exit. Sir To. That defence thou hast, betake thee to't: of what nature the wrongs are thou hast done him, I know not; but thy intercepter, full of despite, bloody as the hunter, attends thee at the orchard end: dismount thy tuck, be yare in thy preparation, for thy assailant is quick, skilful, and deadly. Vio. You mistake, sir; I am sure, no man hath any quarrel to me; my remembrance is very free and clear from any image of offence done to any man. Sir To. You'll find it otherwise, I assure you: therefore, if you hold your life at any price, betake you to your guard; for your opposite hath in him what youth, strength, skill, and wrath, can furnish man withal. Vio. I pray you, sir, what is he? Sir To. He is knight, dubbed with unhacked rapier, and on carpet consideration; but he is a devil in private brawl: souls and bodies hath he divorced three; and his incensement at this moment is so implacable, that satisfaction can be none but by pangs of death and sepulchre: hob, nob, is his word; give't, or take't. Vio. I will return again into the house, and desire some conduct of the lady. I am no fighter. I have heard of some kind of men, that put quarrels purposely on others, to taste their valour: belike, this is a man of that quirk. Sir To. Sir, no; his indignation derives itself out of a very competent injury; therefore, get you on, and give him his desire! Back you shall not to the house, unless you undertake that with me,which with as much safety you might answer him: therefore, on, or strip your sword stark naked; for meddle you must, that's certain, or forswear to wear iron about you. Vio. This is as uncivil, as strange. I beseech you, do me this courteous office, as to know of the knight Vio. Pray you, sir, do you know of this matter? Fab. I know, the knight is incensed against you, even to a mortal arbitrement; but nothing of the circumstance more. Vio. I beseech you, what manner of man is he? Fab. Nothing of that wonderful promise, to read him by his form, as you are like to find him in the proof of and fatal opposite, that you could possibly have found his valour. He is, indeed, sir, the most skilful, bloody, in any part of Illyria. Will you walk towards him? I will make your peace with him, if I can. Vio. I shall be much bound to you for't: I am one, that would rather go with sir priest, than sir knight: I care not who knows so much of my mettle. [Exeunt. Re-enter Sir TOBY with Sir ANDREW. Sir To. Why, man, he's a very devil! I have not seen such a virago. I had a pass with him, rapier, scabmortal motion, that it is inevitable; and on the anbard, and all, and he gives me the stuck-in with such a swer,he pays you as surely as your feet hit the ground they step on. They say, he has been fencer to the Sophy. Sir And. Pox on't, I'll not meddle with him! Sir To. Ay, but he will not now be pacified: Fabian can scarce hold him youder. Sir And. Plague on't; an Ithought he had been valiant, and so cunning in fence, I'd have seen him damned ere I'd have challenged him. Let him let the matter slip, and I'll give him my horse, grey Capilet. Sir To. I'll make the motion: stand here, make a good show on't; this shall end without the perdition of souls: marry, I'll ride your horse as well as I ride [Aside. you. I Re-enter FABIAN and VIOLA. have his horse [to Fab.] to take up the quarrel; I have persuaded him the youth's a devil. Fab. He is as horribly conceited of him; and pants, and looks pale, as if a bear were at his heels. Sir To. There's no remedy, sir; he will fight with you for his oath sake: marry,he hath better bethought him of his quarrel, and he finds that now scarce to be worth talking of: therefore draw, for the supportance of his vow; he protests, he will not hurt you. Vio. Pray God defend me! A little thing would make me tell them, how much I lack of a man. [Aside. Fab. Give ground, if you see him furious! Sir To. Come, sir Andrew, there's no remedy; the gentleman will, for his honour's sake, haveone bout with you; he cannot by the duello avoid it: but he has promised me, as he is a gentleman and a soldier, he will not hurt you. Come on; to't. Sir And. Pray God he keep his oath! Enter ANTONIO. [Draws. Vio. I do assure you, 'tis against my will. [Draws. Ant. Put up your sword: if this young gentleman Have done offence, I take the fault on me; If you offend him, I for him defy you. [Drawing. Sir To. You, sir? why, what are you? Ant. One, sir, that for his love dares yet do more, Than you have heard him brag to you he will. Sir To. Nay, if you be an undertaker, I am for you. [Draws. Enter two Officers. Fab. O good sir Toby, hold; here come the officers. Sir To. I'll be with you anon. [To Antonio. Vio. Pray, sir, put up your sword, if you please. [To Sir Andrew. Sir. And. Marry, will I, sir; — and, for that I pro mised you, I'll be as good as my word: he will bear you easily, and reins well. 10ff. This is the man; do thy office. 2 off. Antonio, I arrest thee at the suit Of count Orsino. Ant. You do mistake me, sir. 10ff. No, sir, no jot; I know your favour well, Though now you have no sea-cap on your head. Take him away! he knows, I know him well. Ant. I must obey.-This comes with seeking you; Makes me to ask you for my purse: it grieves me 20ff. Come, sir, away! Ant. I must entreat of you some of that money. For the fair kindness you have show'd me here, I'll lend you something: my having is not much; Ant. Will you deny me now? Is't possible, that my deserts to you Can lack persuasion? Do not tempt my misery, As to upbraid you with those kindnesses Vio. I know of none; Nor know I you by voice, or any feature: I hate ingratitude more in a man, Than lying, vainness, babbling, drunkenness, Ant. O Heavens themselves! 20ff. Come, sir, I pray you, go. Ant. Let me speak a little. This youth, that see here, I snatch'd one half out of the jaws of death; you 1off. What's that to us? The time goes by; away! Ant. But, O, how vile an idol proves this god!Thou hast, Sebastian, done good feature shame.— In nature there's no blemish, but the mind; None can be call'd deform'd, but the unkind: Virtue is beauty; but the beauteous-evil Are empty trunks, o'erflourish'd by the devil. 10ff. The man grows mad; away with him! Come, come, sir. Ant. Lead me on. [Exeunt Officers with Antonio. Vio. Methinks, his words do from such passion fly, That he believes himself; so do not I. Prove true, imagination, O, prove true, That I, dear brother, be now ta'en for you! Sir To. Come hither, knight; come hither, Fabian; we'll whisper o'er a couplet or two of most sage saws. Vio. He nam'd Sebastian; I my brother know Yet living in my glass; even such, and so, In favour was my brother; and he went Still in this fashion, colour, ornament, For him I imitate: O, if it prove, Tempests are kind, and salt waves fresh in love! [Exit. Sir To. A very dishonest paltry boy, and more a coward than a hare: his dishonesty appears,in leaving his friend here in necessity, and denying him; and for his cowardship, ask Fabian. Fab. A coward, a most devout coward, religious in it. Sir And. 'Slid, I'll after him again, and beat him. SCENE I.— The Street before Olivia's house. Enter SEBASTIAN and Clown. Clo. Will you make me believe, that I am not sent for you? Seb. Go to, go to, thou art a foolish fellow! Let me be clear of thee! Clo. Well held out, i'faith! No, I do not know you; nor I am not sent to you by my lady, to bid you come speak with her; nor your name is not master Cesario; nor this is not my nose neither. Nothing, that is so, is so. Seb. I pr'ythee, vent thy folly somewhere else! Thou know'st not me. Clo. Vent my folly! He has heard that word of some great man, and now applies it to a fool. Vent my folly! I am afraid this great lubber, the world, will prove a cockney. I pr'ythee now, ungird thy strangeness, and tell me, what I shall vent to my lady; shallI vent to her, that thou art coming? Seb. I pr'ythee, foolish Greek, depart from me; There's money for thee; if you tarry longer, I shall give worse payment. Clo. By my troth, thou hast an open hand! - These wise men, that give fools money,get themselves a good report after fourteen years purchase. Enter Sir ANDREW, Sir TOBY, and FABIAN. Sir And. Now, sir, have I met you again? there's for you. [Striking Sebastian. Seb. Why, there's for thee, and there, and there! Are all the people mad? [Beating Sir Andrew. Sir To. Hold, sir, or I'll throw your dagger o'er the house! Clo. This will I tell my lady straight: I would not be in some of yor coats for two-pence. [Exit Clown. Sir To. Come on, sir; hold. [Holding Sebastian. Sir And. Nay, let him alone, I'll go another way to work with him; I'll have an action of battery against him, if there be any law in Illyria: though I struck him first, yet it's no matter for that. This ruffian hath botch'd up, that thou thereby Seb. What relish is in this? how runs the stream? Oli. Nay, come, I pr'ythee: 'would thou'dst be rul'd Seb. Madam, I will. by me! [Exeunt. Oli. O, say so, and so be! - SCENE II. A room in Olivia's house. Enter MARIA and Clown. Mar. Nay, I pr'ythee, put on this gown, and this beard; make him believe, thou art sir Topas the curate; do it quickly: I'll call sir Toby the whilst. [Exit Maria. Clo. Well, I'll put it on, and I will dissemble myself] in't; and I would I were the first, that ever dissembled in such a gown. I am not fat enough to become the function well; nor lean enough to be thought a good student: but to be said, an honest man, and a good housekeeper, goes as fairly, as to say, a careful man, and a great scholar. The competitors enter. Enter Sir TOBY BELCH and MARIA. Sir To. Jove bless thee, master parson! Clo. Bonos dies, sir Toby: for as the old hermit of Prague, that never saw pen and ink, very wittily said to a niece of king Gorboduc, That, that is, is: so I, being master parson,am master parson: for what is that, but that? and is, but is? Sir To. To him, sir Topas. Clo. What, hoa, I say,-Peace in this prison! Sir To. The knave counterfeits well; a good knave. Mal. [in an inner chamber.] Who calls there? Clo. Sir Topas, the curate, who comes to visit Malvolio, the lunatic. Mal. Sir Topas, sir Topas, good sir Topas, go to my lady. Clo. Out, hyperbolical fiend! how vexest thou this man? talkest thou nothing but of ladies? Sir To. Well said, master parson. thou dispossess the soul of thy grandam. Fare thee well. Mal. Sir Topas, sir Topas, Sir To. My most exquisite sir Topas ! Mar. Thou might'st have done this without thy beard, and gown; he sees thee not. Sir To. To him in thine own voice, and bring me word how thou findest him: I would, we were well rid of this knavery. If he may be conveniently delivered, I would he were; for I am now so far in offence with my niece, that I cannot pursue with any safety this sport to the upshot. Come by and by to my chamber. [Exeunt Sir Toby and Maria. [Singing. Clo. Hey Robin, jolly Robin, Mal. Fool, Clo. My lady is unkind, perdy. Clo. Alas, why is she so? Clo. She loves another-Who calls, ha? Mal. Good fool, as ever thou wilt deserve well at my hand, help me to a candle, and pen, ink, and paper: as am a gentleman, I will live to be thankful to thee for't. Clo. Master Malvolio! Mal. Ay, good fool. I Clo. Alas, sir, how fell you besides your five wits? Mal. Fool, there was never man so notoriously abused: I am as well in my wits, fool, as thou art. Clo. But as well? then you are mad, indeed, if you be no better in your wits than a fool. Mal. They have here propertied me; keep me in darkness, send ministers to me, asses, and do all they can to face me out of my wits. Clo. Advise you what you say; the minister is here.Malvolio, Malvolio, thy wits the heavens restore ! en deavour thyself to sleep, and leave thy vain bibble babble. Mal. Sir Topas, Clo. Maintain no words with him, good fellow. Who, I, sir? not I, sir. God b'wi'you, good sir Topas. good-Marry, amen.-I will, sir, I will. Mal. Sir Topas, never was man thus wronged: sir Topas, do not think, I am mad; they have laid me here in hideous darkness. Clo. Fye, thon dishonest Sathan! I call thee by the most modest terms; for I am one of those gentle ones, that will use the devil himself with courtesy: say'st thou, that house is dark? Mal. As hell, sir Topas. Clo. Why, it hath bay-windows transparent as barricadoes, and the clear stones towards the south-north are as lustrous as ebony; and yet complainest thou of obstruction! Mal. I am not mad, sir Topas; I say to you, this house is dark. Clo. Madman, thou errest: I say, there is no darkness, but ignorance; in which thou art more puzzled, than the Egyptians in their fog. Mal. I say, this house is as dark as ignorance, though ignorance were as dark as hell; and I say, there was never man thus abused: I am no more mad than you are; make the trial of it in any constant question. Clo. What is the opinion of Pythagoras, concerning wild-fowl? Mal. That the soul of our grandam might haply inhabit a bird. Clo. What thinkest thou of his opinion? Mal. I think nobly of the soul, and no way approve his opinion. Clo. Fare thee well! Remain thou still in darkness: thou shalt hold the opinion of Pythagoras, ere I will! allow of thy wits; and fear to kill a woodcock, lest! Mal. Fool, fool, fool, I say, Clo. Alas, sir, be patient. What say you, sir? I am shent for speaking to you. Mal. Good fool, help me to some light, and some paper; I tell thee, I am as well in my wits, as any man in Illyria. Clo. Well-a-day, that you were, sir! Mal. By this hand, I am! Good fool, some ink, paper, and light, and convey what I will set down to my lady; it shall advantage thee more, than ever the bearing of letter did. SCENE III.- Olivia's garden. Seb. This is the air; that is the glorious sun; Yet there he was; and there I found this credit, And wrangle with my reason, that persuades me She could not sway her house, command her followers, Enter OLIVIA and a Priest. Oli Blame not this haste of mine! If you mean well, That they may fairly note this act of mine! АСТ Clo. But that it would be double-dealing, sir, I would you could make it another. Duke. O, you give me ill counsel. Clo. Put your grace in your pocket, sir, for this once, and let your flesh and blood obey it. Duke. Well, I will be so much a sinner to be a doubledealer; there's another. Clo. Primo, secundo, tertio, is a good play; and the old saying is, the third pays for all: the triplex, sir, is a good tripping measure; or the bells of St Bennet, sir, may put you in mind: one, two, three. Duke. You can fool no more money out of me at this throw: if you will let your lady know, I am here to speak with her, and bring her along with you, it may awake my bounty further. it anon. Clo. Marry, sir, lullaby to your bounty, till I come A bawbling vessel was he captain of, That very envy, and the tongue of loss, Cry'd fame and honour on him.-What's the matter? That took the Phoenix, and her fraught, from Candy; and hea V. Fab. Now, as thou lovest me, let me see his letter. Clo. Do not desire to see this letter. Duke. Notable pirate! thou salt-water thief! Ant. Orsino, noble sir, Be pleas'd that I shake off these names you give me ; Though, I confess, on base and ground enough, Fab. That is, to give a dog, and, in recompense, de- That most ungrateful boy there, by your side, Enter Duke, VIOLA, and Attendants. Clo. Truly, sir, the better for my foes, and the worse for my friends. Duke. Just the contrary; the better for thy friends. Clo. Marry, sir, they praise me, and make an ass of Duke. Why this is excellent! Clo. By my troth, sir, no; though it please you to be one of my friends. Duke. Thou shalt not be the worse for me; there's gold. From the rude sea's enrag'd and foamy mouth Duke. When came he to this town? Ant. To-day, my lord; and for three months before, (No interim, not a minute's vacancy,) Both day and night did we keep company. Enter OLIVIA and Attendants. Duke. Here comes the countess; now heaven walks on earth. But for thee, fellow, fellow, thy words are madness: Oli. What would my lord, but that he may not have, Duke. Gracious Olivia,- Oli. What do you say, Cesario?-Good my lord,Vio. My lord would speak, my duty hushes me. Oli. If it be aught to the old tune, my lord, It is as fat and fulsome to mine ear, As howling after music. Duke. Still so cruel? Oli. Still so constant, lord. Duke. What! to perverseness? you uncivil lady, To whose ingrate and unauspicious altars My soul the faithfull'st offerings hath breath'd out, That e'er devotion tender'd! What shall I do? Oli. Even what it please my lord, that shall become him. Duke. Why should I not, had I the heart to do it, That sometime savours nobly?—But hear me this : Where he sits crowned in his master's spite.- [Going. If I do feign, you witnesses above, Punish my life, for tainting of my love! Oli. Ahme, detested! how am I beguil'd! Sir And. He has broke my head across, and has given sir Toby a bloody coxcomb too: for the love of God, your help! I had rather than forty pound I were at home. Oli. Who has done this, sir Andrew? Sir And. The count's gentleman, one Cesario: we took him for a coward, but he's the very devil incardinate. Duke. My gentleman, Cesario? Sir And. Od's lifelings, here he is:- You broke my head for nothing; and that, that I did, I was set on to do't by sir Toby. Vio. Why do you speak to me? I never hurt you: Sir And. If a bloody coxcomb be a hurt, you have hurt me; I think, you set nothing by a bloody coxcomb. Enter Sir TOBY BELCH, drunk, led by the Clown. Here comes sir Toby halting, you shall hear more: but if he had not been in drink, he would have tickled you othergates than he did. Duke. How now, gentleman? how is't with you? Sir To.That's all one; he has hurt me,and there's the end on't.-Sot, did'st see Dick surgeon, sot? Clo. O he's drunk, sir Toby, an hour agone; his eyes were set at eight i'the morning. Sir To. Then he's a rogue. After a passy-measure, or a pavin, I hate a drunken rogue. Oli. Away with him! Who hath made this havock with them? Sir And. I'll help you, sir Toby, because we'll be Vio. Who does beguile you? who does do you dressed together. wrong? Oli. Hast thou forgot thyself? is it so long? Call forth the holy father. Duke. Come away! [Exit an Attendant. [To Viola. Oli. Whither, my lord?-Cesario, husband, stay. Oli. Ay, husband; can he that deny? Vio. No, my lord, not I. Oli. Alas, it is the baseness of thy fear, Be that thou know'st thou art, and then thou art Father, I charge thee, by thy reverence, Sir To. Will you help an ass-head, and a coxcomb, and a knave? a thin-faced knave, a gull? Oli. Get him to bed, and let his hurt be look'd to! [Exeunt Clown, Sir Toby, and Sir Andrew. Enter SEBASTIAN. Seb. I am sorry, madam, I have hurt your kinsman; But, had it been the brother of my blood, I must have done no less, with wit, and safety. Duke. One face, one voice. one habit, and two per |