Cant. I come, my lor-vat shall I do?—I have no s-He will make great tintamarre ! news ་ Lord Ogl. [Within.] Canton, I say, Canton! Where are you? Enter LORD OGLEBY, leaning on BRUSH. Cant. Here, my lor; I ask pardon, my lor; I have not finish de papiers Lord Ogl. Damn your pardon, and your papiers-I want you here, Canton." Cant. Den I run, dat is all. [Shuffles along. [LORD OGLEBY leans upon CANTON too, and comes forward. Lord Ogl. You Swiss are the most unaccountable mixture-you have the language and impertinence of the French, with the laziness of Dutchmen. Cant. 'Tis very true, my lor-I can't help- Cant. You are not in pain, I hope, my lor. 7 Lord Ogl. Indeed but I am, my lor. That vulgar fellow, Sterling, with his city politeness, would force me down his slope last night to see a clay-colour'd ditch, which he calls a canal; and what with the dew, and the East wind, my hips and shoulders are absolutely screwed to my body. Cant. A littel véritable eau d'arquibusade vill set all to right again. [My Lord sits down in an easy-chair, and BRUSH gives him chocolate. Lord Ogl. Where are the palsy drops, Brush? Brush. Here, my lord! [Pouring out. Lord Ogl. Quelle nouvelle avez-vous, Canton? Cant. A great deal of papier, but no news at all. Lord Ogl. What! nothing at all, you stupid fellow? Cant. Yes, my lor, I have a little advertise here vil give you more plaisir den all de lyes about nothing at all. La voilà! [Puts on his Spectacles. Lord Ogl. Come, read it, Canton, with good emphasis, and good discretion. Cant. I vil, my lor. [CANT. reads.] Dere is no question, but that the Cosmétique Royale vil utterlie take away all heats, pimps, frecks, oder eruptions of de skin, and likewise de wrinque of old age, &c. &c.— A great deal more, my lor-be sure to ask for de Cosmétique Royale, signed by de Docteur own hand. Dere is more raison for dis caution dan good men vil tink.— Eh bien, my lor? Lord Ogl. Eh bien, Canton, will you purchase any ? Cant. For you, my lor? Lord Ogl. For me, you old puppy! for what? Cant. My lor? Lord Ogl. Do I want cosmeticks ? Cant. My lor? Lord Ogl. Look in my face. it want the assistance of art? Come, be sincere. Does Cant. [With his Spectacles] En vérité non. "Tis very smoose and brillian-but tote dat you might take a little by way of prevention. Lord Ogl. You thought like an old fool, Monsieur, as you generally do- -The surfeit water, Brush! [BRUSH pours out.] What do you think, Brush, of this family, we are going to be connected with? Eh? Brush. Very well to marry in, my lord; but it would not do to live with. Lord Ogl. You are right, Brush, There is no washing the blackmoor white-Mr. Sterling will never get rid of Blackfriars, always taste of the Borachio; and the poor woman his sister, is so busy and so notable to make one welcome, that I have not yet got over her first reception; it almost amounted to suffocation! I think the daughters are tolerable-Where's my cephalic snuff? [BRUSH gives him a box. Cant. Dey tink so of you, my lor, for dey look at no ting else, ma foi. Lord Ogl. Did they? Why, I think they did a little -Where's my glass? [BRUSH puts one on the table] The youngest is delectable. [Takes snuff. Cant. Ŏ oui, my lor, very delect, inteed; she made doux yeux at you, my lor. Lord Ogl. She was particular. The eldest, my nephew's lady, will be a most valuable wife; she has all the vulgar spirits of her father and aunt, happily blended with the termagant qualities of her deceased mother. -Some peppermint water, Brush!-How happy is it, Cant., for young ladies in general, that people of quality overlook every thing in a marriage contract but their fortune. Cant. C'est bien heureux, et commode aussi. Lord Ogl. Brush, give me that pamphlet by my bedside. [BRUSH goes for it.] Canton, do you wait in the anti-chamber, and let nobody interrupt me till I call you. Cant. Mush good may do your lordship! Lord Ogl. [To BRUSH, who brings the pamphlet] And now, Brush, leave me a little to my studies. [Exit BRUSH, L. Lord Ogl. [Alone.] What can I possibly do among these women here, with this confounded rheumatism? It is a most grievous enemy to gallantry and address. [Rises.] He! Courage, my lor! by heav'ns I'm another creature. [Hums and dances a little.] It will do, faith. Bravo, my lor! These girls have absolutely inspired me. If they are for a game of romps-me voilà prêt! [Sings and dances.] O-that's an ugly twingebut it's gone. I have rather too much of the lily this morning in my complexion; a faint tincture of the rose will give a delicate spirit to my eyes for the day. [Unlocks a drawer at the bottom of the glass, and takes out rouge; while he's painting himself, a knocking at the door.] Who's there? I won't be disturb'd. Cant. Without, R.] My lor, my lor, here is Monsieur Sterling to pay his devoir to you this morn in your chambre. Lord Ogl. [Softly.] What a fellow! [Aloud.] I am extremely honour'd by Mr. Sterling. Why don't you see him in, Monsieur ? I wish he was at the bottom of his stinking canal. [Door opens.] Oh, my dear Mr. Sterling, you do me a great deal of honour. Enter STERLING and LovEwell, R. Ster. I hope, my lord, that your lordship slept well in the night-I believe there are no better beds in Europe than I have-I spare no pains to get 'em, nor money to buy them-His Majesty, God bless him, don't sleep upon a better out of his palace; and if I had said in too, I hope no treason, my lord. Lord Ogl. Your beds are like every thing else about you-incomparable. They not only make one rest well, but give one spirits, Mr. Sterling. Ster. What say you then, my lord, to another walk in the garden? You must see my water by day-light, and my walks, and my slopes, and my clumps, and my bridge, and my flow'ring trees, and my bed of Dutch tulips. Matters look'd but dim last night, my lord; I feel the dew in my great toe-but I would put on a cut shoe, that I might be able to walk you about. I may be laid up to-morrow. Lord Ogl. I pray heaven you may ! [Aside. Ster. What say you, my lord? Lord Ogl. I was saying, sir, that I was in hopes of seeing the young ladies at breakfast. Mr. Sterling, they are, in my mind, the finest tulips in this part of the world-he! he! Cant. (L. c.) Bravissimo, my lor-ha! ha! ha! Ster. They shall meet your lordship in the gardenwe don't lose our walk for them; I'll take you a little round before breakfast, and a larger before dinner, and in the evening you shall go to the Grand Tower, as I call it-ha! ha! ha! Lord Ogl. (c.) Not a foot, I hope, Mr. Sterlingconsider your gout, my good friend. You'll certainly be laid by the heels for your politeness. Cant. Ha ha! ha! 'Tis admirable! en vérité ! [Laughing very heartily. Ster. (R. c.) If my young man [To LOVEWELL] here would but laugh at my jokes, which he ought to do, as Mounseer does at yours, my lord, we should be all life and mirth. Lord Ogl. What say you, Cant., will you take my kinsman into your tuition? You have certainly the most companionable laugh I ever met with, and never out of tune. Cant. But when your lordship is out of spirits. Lord Ogl. Well said, Cant.; but here comes my nephew, to play his part. Enter SIR JOHN MELVIL, R. Well, Sir John, what news from the island of Love? have you been sighing and serenading this morning? Sir John. I am glad to see your lordship in such spirits this morning. Lord Ogl. I'm sorry to see you so dull, sir. What poor things, Mr. Sterling, these very young fellows are! they make love with faces, as if they were burying the dead; though, indeed, a marriage sometimes may be properly called a burying of the living-eh, Mr. Sterling? Ster. Not if they have enough to live upon, my lordHa ha ha! Cant. Dat is all Monsieur Sterling tink of. Sir John. [Apart to LovEWELL.] Prithee, Lovewell, come with me into the garden; I have something of consequence for you, and I must communicate it directly. Lov. We'll go together.-If your lordship and Mr. Sterling please, we'll prepare the ladies to attend you in the garden. [Exeunt SIR JOHN and Lov. R. Ster. My girls are always ready; I make 'em rise soon and to bed early; their husbands shall have 'em with good constitutions and good fortunes, if they have nothing else, my lord. Lord Ogl. Fine things, Mr. Sterling! Ster. Fine things, indeed, my lord! Ah, my lord, had not you run off your speed in your youth, you had not been so crippled in your age, my lord. Lord Ogl. Very pleasant. [Half laughing. Ster. Here's Mounseer now, I suppose, is pretty near your lordship's standing; but having little to eat, and little to spend, in his own country, he'll wear three of your lordship out-eating and drinking kills us all. Lord Ogl. Very pleasant, I protest.-What a vulgar dog! [Aside. Cant. My lor so old as me! He is chicken to me, and look like a boy to pauvre me. Ster. Ha ha! ha! Well said, Mounseer-keep to that, and you'll live in any country of the world-Ha! ha ha! But, my lord, I will wait upon you in the garden we have but a little time to breakfast-I'll go for my hat and cane, fetch a little walk with you, my lord, and then for the hot rolls and butter? [Exit, R. Lord Ogl. I shall attend you with pleasure. Hot rolls and butter in July! I sweat with the thoughts of it. What a strange beast it is! Cant. C'est un barbare. Lord Ogl. He is a vulgar dog, and if there was not so much money in the family, which I can't do without, I would leave him and his hot rolls and butter directly. Come along, Monsieur ! [Exeunt LORD OGLEBY and CANTON, R, SCENE II.-A Garden. Enter SIR JOHN MELVIL and LOVEWELL, L. Lov. In my room this morning? Impossible. Sir John. I was so anxious to disclose my mind to you, that I could not sleep in my bed-but I found that you could not sleep neither-the bird was flown, and the nest long since cold. Where was you, Lovewell? Lov. Pooh! prithee! ridiculous! C |