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eastles in the air for their reception. I always leave such trite quotations to my reader's private recollection. For which reason, also, I shall forbear extracting out of authors several instances of particular persons who have arrived at some perfection in this art, and exhibited specimens of it before multitudes of be holders. Instead of this I shall present my reader with the following letter from an artist, who is now taken up with this invention, and conceals his true name under that of Dædalus.

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MR. IRONSIDE,

to do more business in threescore and ten years, then they could do in a thousand by the methods now in use. I therefore recommend myself and art to your patronage, and am

'Your most humble servant.

I have fully considered the project of these our modern Dædalists, and am resolved so far to discourage it, as to prevent any person from flying in my time. It would fill the world with innumerable immoralities, and give such occasions for intrigues as people cannot meet with who have nothing but legs to carry them. You should have a couple of lovers make a midnight assignation upon the top of the monument, and see the cupola of St. Paul's covered with both sexes like the outside of a pigeon-house. Nothing would be more frequent than to see a beau flying in at a garret window, or a gallant giving chace to his mistress, like a hawk after a lark. There would be no walking in a shady wood without springing a covey of toasts. The poor husband could not dream what was doing over his head. If he were jealous, indeed, he might clip his wife's wings, but what would this avail when there were flocks of whoremasters perpetually hovering over his house? What concern would the father of a family be in all the time his daughter was upon the wing? Every heiress must have an old woman flying at her heels. In short, the whole air would be full of this kind of gibier, as the French call it. I do allow, with my correspondent, that there would be much more business done than

Knowing that you are a great encourager
of ingenuity, I think fit to acquaint you, that
I have made a considerable progress in the art
of flying. I flutter about my room two or
three hours in a morning, and when my wings
are on, can go above a hundred yards at a hop,
step, and jump. I can fly already as well as a
turkey-cock, and improve every day. If I
proceed as I have begun, I intend to give the
world a proof of my proficiency in this art.
Upon the next public thanksgiving day it is
my design to sit astride the dragon upon Bow
steeple, from whence, after the first discharge
of the Tower guns, I intend to mount into the
air, fly over Fleet-street, and pitch upon the
May-pole in the Strand. From thence, by a
gradual descent, I shall make the best of my
way for St. James's-park, and light upon the
ground near Rosamond's-pond. This I doubt
not will convince the world that I am no pre-
tender; but before I set out, I shall desire to
have a patent for making of wings, and that
none shall presume to fly, under pain of death,
with wings of any other man's making. I in-
tend to work for the court myself, and will
have journey men under me to furnish the rest
of the nation. I likewise desire, that I may
have the sole teaching of persons of quality,
in which I shall spare neither time nor pains
until I have made them as expert as myself.
I will fly with the women upon my back for
the first fortnight. I shall appear at the next
masquerade dressed up in my feathers and
plumage like an Indian prince, that the quality
may see how pretty they will look in their
travelling habits. You know, sir, there is an
unaccountable prejudice to projectors of all
kinds, for which reason when I talk of prac-
tising to fly, silly people think me an owl for No. 113.] Tuesday, July 21, 1713.

my pains; but, sir, you know better things.
I need not enumerate to you the benefits which
will accrue to the public from this invention;
as how the roads of England will be saved
when we travel through these new highways,
and how all family accounts will be lessened
in the article of coaches and horses. I need
not mention posts and packet-boats, with many
other conveniences of life, which will be sup-
plied this way.
In short, sir, when mankind
are in possession of this art, they will be able
Y

there is at present. However, should he apply for such a patent as he speaks of, I question not but there would be more petitions out of the city against it, than ever yet appeared against any other monopoly whatsoever. Every tradesman that cannot keep his wife a coach, could keep her a pair of wings, and there is no doubt but she would be every morning and evening taking the air with them.

I have here only considered the ill consequences of this invention in the influence it would have on love affairs. I have many more objections to make on other accounts; but these I shall defer publishing until I see my friend astride the dragon.

Amphora cœpit

Institui, currente rotâ, cur urceus exit?

Hor. Ars Poet. ver. 21.

When you begin with so much pomp and show,
Why is the end so little and so low?

Roscommon.

I LAST night received a letter from an honest citizen, who it seems is in his honey-moon. It is written by a plain man on a plain subject, but has an air of good sense and natural honesty in it, which may perhaps please the

public as much as myself. I shall not therefore scruple the giving it a place in my paper, which is designed for common use, and for the benefit of the poor as well as rich.

GOOD MR. IRONSIDE, Cheapside, July 18. I have lately married a very pretty body, who being something younger and richer than myself, I was advised to go a wooing to her in a finer suit of clothes than ever I wore in my life; for I love to dress plain, and suitable to a man of my rank. However, I gained her heart by it. Upon the wedding day I put my self, according to custom, in another suit, firenew, with silver buttons to it. I am so out of countenance among my neighbours upon being so fine, that I heartily wish my clothes well worn out. I fancy every body observes me as I walk the street, and long to be in my old plain gear again. Besides, forsooth, they have put me in a silk night-gown and a gaudy fool's cap, and make me now and then stand in the window with it. I am ashamed to be dandled thus, and cannot look in the glass without blushing to see myself turned into such a pretty little master. They tell me I must appear in my wedding-suit for the first month at least; after which I am resolved to come again to my every day's clothes, for at present every day is Sunday with me. Now, in my mind, Mr. Ironside, this is the wrongest way of proceeding in the world. When a man's person is new and unaccustomed to a young body, he does not want any thing else to set him off. The novelty of the lover has more charms than a wedding-suit. I should think, therefore, that a man should keep his finery for the latter seasons of marriage, and not begin to dress until the honey-moon is over. I have observed at a lord mayor's feast that the sweetmeats do not make their appearance until people are cloyed with beef and mutton, and begin to lose their stomachs. But instead of this, we serve up delicacies to our guests, when their appetites are keen, and coarse diet when their bellies are full. As bad as I hate my silver-buttoned coat and silk night-gown, I am afraid of leaving them off, not knowing whether my wife will not repent of her marriage when she sees what a plain man she has to her husband. Pray, Mr. Ironside, write something to prepare her for it, and let me know whether you think she can ever love me in a hair button.

'I am, &c.

suit, in the behaviour of persons of figure After long experience in the world, and refections upon mankind, I find one particular occasion of unhappy marriages, which, though very common, is not very much attended to. What I mean is this: Every man in the time of courtship, and in the first entrance of mar riage, puts on a behaviour like my correspondent's holiday suit, which is to last no longer than until he is settled in the possession of his mistress. He resigns his inclinations and understanding to her humour and opinion. He neither loves nor hates, nor talks, nor thinks, in contradiction to her. He is controlled by a nod, mortified by a frown, and transported by a smile. The poor young lady falls in love with this supple creature, and expects of him the same behaviour for life. In a little time she finds that he has a will of his own, that be pretends to dislike what she approves, and that instead of treating her like a goddess, he uses her like a woman. What still makes the misfortune worse, we find the most abject flatterers degenerate into the greatest tyrants. This naturally fills the spouse with sullenness and discontent, spleen and vapour, which, with a little discreet management, make a very comfortable marriage. I very much approve of my friend Tom Truelove in this particular. Tom made love to a woman of sense, and always treated her as such during the whole time of courtship. His natural temper and good breeding hindered him from doing any thing disagreeable, as his sincerity and frankness of behaviour made him converse with her, before marriage, in the same manner he intended to continue to do afterwards. Tom would often tell her, Madam, you see what a sort of man I am. If you will take me with all my faults about me, I promise to mend rather than grow worse.' I remember Tom was once hinting his dislike of some little trifle his mistress had said or done. Upon which she asked him, bow be would talk to her after marriage, if he talked at this rate before? No, madam,' says Tom, I mention this now because you are at your own disposal; were you at mine I should be too generous to do it.' In short, Tom succeeded, and has ever since been better than bis word. The lady has been disappointed on the right side, and has found nothing more disagreeable in the husband than she discovered in the lover.

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'P. S. I forgot to tell you of my white gloves, No. 114.] Wednesday, July 22, 1713. which they say too, I must wear all the first month.'

My correspondent's observations are very just, and may be useful in low life; but to turn them to the advantage of people in higher stations, I shall raise the moral, and observe something parallel to the wooing and wedding

Alveos accipite, et ceris opns infundite :
Fuci recusant, apibus conditio placet.

Phadr. Lib. 3. Fab. xiii. 9. Take the hives, and empty your work into the combs; The drones refuse, the bees accept the proposal.

I THINK myself obliged to acquaint the public that the lion's head, of which I advertised thew

about a fortnight ago, is now erected at Button's coffee-house in Russel-street, Coventgarden, where it opens its mouth at all hours for the reception of such intelligence as shall be thrown into it. It is reckoned an excellent piece of workmanship, and was designed by a great hand in imitation of the antique Egyptian lion, the face of it being compounded out of that of a lion and a wizard. The features are strong and well furrowed. The whiskers are admired by all that have seen them. It is planted on the western side of the coffee-house, holding its paws under the chin upon a box, which contains every thing that he swallows. He is indeed a proper emblem of knowledge and action, being all head and paws. I need not acquaint my readers, that my lion, like a moth, or book-worm, feeds upon nothing but paper, and shall only beg of them to diet him with wholesome and substantial food. I must, therefore, desire that they will not gorge him either with nonsense or obscenity; and must likewise insist, that his mouth be not defiled with scandal, for I would not make use of him to revile the human species, and satirise those who are his betters. I shall not suffer him to worry any man's reputation, nor indeed fall on any person whatsoever, such only excepted as disgrace the name of this generous animal, and under the title of lions contrive the ruin of their fellow-subjects. I must desire, likewise, that intriguers will not make a pimp of my lion, and by his means convey their thoughts to one another. Those who are read in the history of the popes observe, that the Leos have been the best, and the Innocents the worst of that species, and I hope that I shall not be thought to derogate from my lion's character, by representing him as such a peaceable, goodnatured, well-designing beast.

I intend to publish once every week,' the roarings of the lion,' and hope to make him roar so loud as to be heard over all the British

nation.

with me by this method, I must acquaint them that the coffee-man has a little daughter of about four years old, who has been virtuously educated, and will lend her hand upon this occasion to any lady that shall desire it of her.

In the mean time I must further acquaint my fair readers, that I have thoughts of making a further provision for them at my ingenious friend Mr. Motteux's, or at Corticelli's, or some other place frequented by the wits and beauties of the sex. As I have here a lion's head for the men, I shall there erect a unicorn's head for the ladies, and will so contrive it, that they may put in their intelligence at the top of the horn, which shall convey it into a little receptacle at the bottom prepared for that purpose. Out of these two magazines I shall supply the town from time to time, with wha* may tend to their edification, and at the same time, carry on an epistolary correspondence between the two heads, not a little beneficial both to the public and to myself. As both these monsters will be very insatiable, and devour great quantities of paper, there will no small use redound from them to that manufacture in particular.

The following letter having been left with the keeper of the lion, with a request from the writer that it may be the first morsel which is put into his mouth, I shall communicate it to the public as it came to my hand, without examining whether it be proper nourishment, as I intend to do for the future,

'MR. GUARDIAN,

'Your predecessor, the Spectator, endea voured, but in vain, to improve the charms of the fair sex, by exposing their dress whenever it launched into extremities. Among the rest, the great petticoat came under his consideration, but in contradiction to whatever he has said, they still resolutely persist in this fashion. The form of their bottom is not, I confess, altogether the same; for whereas before it was of an orbicular make, they now look as if they If my correspondents will do their parts in were pressed, so that they seem to deny access prompting him, and supplying him with suitto any part but the middle. Many are the inable provision, I question not but the lion's conveniences that accrue to her majesty's loving head will be reckoned the best head in England. subjects from the said petticoats, as hurting There is a notion generally received in the men's shins, sweeping down the wares of inworld, that a lion is a dangerous creature to dustrious females in the streets, &c. all women who are not virgins: which may young lady fall down the other day; and bebave given occasion to a foolish report, that lieve me, sir, she very much resembled an my lion's jaws are so contrived, as to snap the overturned bell without a clapper. Many other hands of any of the female sex, who are not disasters I could tell you of, that befall themthus qualified to approach it with safety. I shall selves, as well as others, by means of this unnot spend much time in exposing the falsity of wieldy garment. I wish, Mr. Guardian, you this report, which I believe will not weigh any would join with me in showing your dislike of thing with women of sense: I shall only say, such a monstrous fashion, and I hope when the that there is not one of the sex in all the neigh-ladies see it is the opinion of two of the wisest bourhood of Covent-garden, who may not put men in England, they will be convinced of her hand in his mouth with the same security their folly. 'I am, Sir,

as if she were a vestal. However, that the ladies may not be deterred from corresponding |

I saw a

your daily reader and admirer, TOM PLAIN.

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WHEN I read rules of criticism I immediately inquire after the works of the author who has written them, and by that means discover what it is he likes in a composition; for there is no question but every man aims at least, at what he thinks beautiful in others. If I find by his own manner of writing that he is heavy and tasteless, I throw aside his criticisms with a secret indignation, to see a man without genius or politeness dictating to the world on subjects

which I find are above his reach.

If the critic has published nothing but rules and observations in criticism, I then consider whether there be a propriety and elegance in his thoughts and words, clearness and delicacy in bis remarks, wit and good breeding in his raillery; but if in the place of all these, I find nothing but dogmatical stupidity, I must beg such a writer's pardon if I have no manner of deference for his judgment, and refuse to conform myself to his taste.

So Macer and Mundungus school the times,
And write in rugged prose the softer rules of rhymes.
Well do they play the careful critic's part,
Instructing doubly by their matchless art:
Rules for good verse they first with pains indite,
Then show us what are bad by what they write.'
Mr. Congreve to Sir R. Temple.

The greatest critics among the ancients are those who have the most excelled in all other kinds of composition, and have shown the height of good writing even in the precepts which they have given for it.

marks on it, that distinguished it for the habitation of heroic poets. Of all the muses Calliope only made her appearance. It was covered up and down with groves of laurel. Pegasus appeared hanging off the side of a rock, with a fountain running from his beel. This floating Parnassus fell down the river to the sound of trumpets, and in a kind of epic measure, for it was rowed forward by six huge wheels, three on each side, that by their constant motion carried on the machine, until it arrived before the pope's villa.

The representatives of the ancient poets were disposed in stations suitable to their respective characters. Statius was posted on the highest of the two summits, which was fashioned in the form of a precipice, and hung over the rest of the mountain in a dreadful manner, so that people regarded him with the same terror and curiosity as they look upon a daring ropedancer, whom they expect to fall every mo

ment.

which was lower, and at the same time inore Claudian was seated on the other summit,

smooth and even than the former. It was observed likewise to be more barren, and to produce, on some spots of it, plants that are unknown to Italy, and such as the gardeners call exotics.

Lucretius was very busy about the roots of the mountains, being wholly intent upon the motion and management of the machine which was under his conduct, and was indeed of his invention. He was sometimes so engaged among the wheels, and covered with machinery, that not above half the poet appeared to the spectators, though at other times, by the working of the engines, he was raised up, and became as conspicuous as any of the brotherhood.

Among the moderns, likewise, no critic has ever pleased, or been looked upon as authentic, who did not show by his practice that he was a master of the theory. I have now one before Ovid did not settle in any particular place, me, who, after having given many proofs of but ranged over all Parnassus with great nimhis performances both in poetry and prose, bleness and activity. But as he did not much obliged the world with several critical works. care for the toil and pains that were requisite The author I mean is Strada. His prolusion to climb the upper part of the hill, he was geon the style of the most famous among the an- nerally roving about the bottom of it. cient Latin poets who are extant, and have But there was none who was placed in a more written in epic verse, is one of the most enter-eminent station, and had a greater prospect taining, as well as the most just pieces of criticism that I have ever read: I shall make the plan of it the subject of this day's paper.

under him than Lucan. He vaulted upon Pegasus with all the heat and intrepidity of youth, and seemed desirous of mounting into the clouds upon the back of him. But as the hinder feet of the horse stuck to the mountain while the body reared up in the air, the poet with great difficulty kept himself from sliding off his back, insomuch that the people often gave him for gone, and cried out every now

It is commonly known that pope Leo the Tenth was a great patron of learning, and used to be present at the performances, conversations, and disputes, of all the most polite writers of his time. Upon this bottom, Strada founds the following narrative: When this pope was at his villa, that stood upon an emi-and then that he was tumbling. nence on the banks of the Tiber, the poets contrived the following pageant or machine for his entertainment: They made a huge floating mountain, that was split at the top, in imitation of Parnassus. There were several

Virgil, with great modesty in his looks, was seated by Calliope, in the midst of a plantation of laurels which grew thick about him, and almost covered him with their shade. He would not perhaps have been seen in this retirement,

but that it was impossible to look upon Calliope, | handled, I mean the naked bosoms of our without seeing Virgil at the same time. British ladies. I hope they will not take it ill This poetical masquerade was no sooner ar- of me, if I still beg that they will be covered. rived before the pope's villa, but they received I shall here present them with a letter on that an invitation to land, which they did accord-particular, as it was yesterday conveyed to me ingly. The hall prepared for their reception through the lion's mouth. It comes from a was filled with an audience of the greatest quaker, and is as follows: eminence for quality and politeness. The poets took their places, and repeated each of them a poem, written in the style and spirit of those immortal authors whom they represented. The subject of these several poems, with the judgement passed upon each of them, may be an agreeable entertainment for another day's

paper.

No. 116.] Friday, July 24, 1713.

Ridiculum acri

Fortius et melius

Hor. Lib. 1. Sat. x. 14.
A jest in scorn points out, and hits the thing
More home, than the morosest satire's sting.

THERE are many little enormities in the world which our preachers would be very glad to see removed; but at the same time dare not meddle with them, for fear of betraying the dignity of the pulpit. Should they recom mend the tucker in a pathetic discourse, their audiences would be apt to laugh out. I knew a parish, where the top woman of it used always to appear with a patch upon some part of her forehead. The good man of the place preached at it with great zeal for almost a twelvemonth; but instead of fetching out the spot which he perpetually aimed at, he only got the name of Parson Patch for his pains. Another is to this day called by the name of Doctor Topknot, for reasons of the same nature. I remember the clergy during the time of Cromwell's usurpation, were very much taken up in reforming the female world, and showing the vanity of those outward ornaments in which the sex so much delights. I have heard a whole sermon against a whitewash, and have known a coloured riband made the mark of the unconverted. The clergy of the present age are not transported with these ndiscreet fervours, as knowing that it is hard for a reformer to avoid ridicule, when he is severe upon subjects which are rather apt to produce mirth than seriousness. For this reason I look upon myself to be of great use to these good men. While they are employed in extirpating mortal sins, and crimes of a higher nature, I should be glad to rally the world out of indecencies and venial transgressions. While the doctor is curing distempers that have the appearance of danger or death in them, the merry-andrew has his separate packet for the megrims and tooth-ache.

Thus much I thought fit to premise before resume the subject which I have already

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NESTOR IRONSIDE,

Our friends like thee. We rejoice to find thou beginnest to have a glimmering of the light in thee. We shall pray for thee, that thou mayest be more and more enlightened. Thou givest good advice to the women of this world to clothe themselves like unto our friends, and not to expose their fleshly temptations, for it is against the record. Thy lion is a good lion; he roareth loud, and is heard a great way, even unto the sink of Babylon! for the scarlet whore is governed by the voice of thy lion. Look on his order.

66

Rome, July 8, 1713. A placard is published here, forbidding women of whatsoever quality to go with naked breasts; and the priests are ordered not to admit the transgressors of this law to confession, nor to communion, neither are they to enter the cathedrals, under severe penalties."

'These lines are faithfully copied from the nightly paper, with this title written over it, 66 The Evening Post, from Saturday, July the eighteenth, to Tuesday, July the twenty-first."

Seeing thy lion is obeyed at this distance, we hope the foolish women in thy own country will listen to thy admonitions. Otherwise thou art desired to make him still roar till all the beasts of the forest shall tremble. I must again repeat unto thee, friend Nestor, the whole brotherhood have great hopes of thee, and expect to see thee so inspired with the light, as thou mayest speedily become a great preacher of the word. I wish it heartily. Thine,

' in every thing that is praise-worthy, Tom's coffee-house, in BirchinJane, the 23d day of the month called July.

TOM TREMBLE.'

It happens very oddly that the pope and I should have the same thoughts much about the same time. My enemies will be apt to say, that we hold a correspondence together, and act by concert in this matter. Let that be as it will, I shall not be ashamed to join with his holiness in those particulars which are indifferent between us, especially when it is for the reformation of the finer half of mankind. We are both of us about the same age, and consider this fashion in the same view. I hope that it will not be able to resist his bull and my lion. I am only afraid that our ladies will take occasion from hence to show their zeal for the protestant religion, and pretend to expose their naked bosoms only in opposition to popery.

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