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good people of England; one of which is par- seeches him to finish his narration : then be ticularly calculated to deceive religious per proceeds ; And so, sir-where can my box sons, to the great scandal of the well-disposed, be?' Then turning to me, ‘ Pray, sir, did you and may introduce heterodox opinions. He see my box?'' Yes, sir,' said I''I took it to shows you a straw-hat, which I know to be see how long you could live without it.' He made by Madge Peskad, within three miles of resumes his tale, and I took notice that bis Bedford; and tells you, It is Pontius Pilate's dulness was much more regular and fluent than wife's chambermaid's sister's bat.' To my before. A pinch supplied the place of “ As I knowledge of this very hat it may be added, was saying,' and ‘So, sir;' and he went on that the covering of straw was never used currently enough in that style which the among the Jews, since it was demanded of them learned call the insipid. This observation to make bricks without it. Therefore this is easily led me into a philosophic reason for really nothing but, under the specious pretence taking snuff, which is done only to supply with of learning and antiquities, to impose upon sensations the want of reflection. This I take the world. There are other thiugs which 1 to be an eüpnxa, a nostrum ; upon which' hope cannot tolerate among his rarities: as, the to receive the thanks of this board : for as it is cbina figure of a lady in the glass-case ; the natural to lift a man's hand to a sore, when Italian engine for the imprisonment of those you fear any thing coming at you ; so when a who go abroad with it: both which I hereby person feels bis thoughts are run out, and he order to be taken down, or else he may expect has no more to say, it is as natural to supply to have bis letters patent for making punch bis weak brain with powder at the nearest superseded, be debarred wearing his muff next place of access, viz. the nostrils. This is so winter, or ever coming to London without his evident, that nature suggests the use according wife. It may perhaps be thought, I have dwelt to the indigence of the persons who take this too long upon the affairs of this operator; but medicine, without being prepossessed with the I desire the reader to remember, that it is my force of fashion or custom. For example; the way to consider men as they stand in merit, native Hibernians, who are reckoned not much and not according to their fortune or figure; unlike the ancient Baotians, take this specific and if he is in a coffee-house at the reading for emptiness in the head, in greater abundance bereof, let him look round, and he will find, than any other nation under the sun. The there may be more characters drawn in this learned Sotus, as sparing as he is in his words, account than that of Don Saltero; for half the would be still more silent if it were not for this politicians about him, he may observe, are by powder. their place in nature, of the class of tooth- However low and puor the taking of snuff drawers.
argues a man to be in his own stock of thoughts, or means to employ his brains and
his fingers; yet there is a poorer creature in No. 35.] Thursday, June 30, 1709.
the world than he, and this is a borrower of Quicqnid agunt homines
snuff; a fellow that keeps no box of bis own, nostri est farrago libelli. Juv. Sat. i. 85, 86. Whate'er men do, or say, or think, or dream,
but is always asking others for a pinch. Such Our motley paper seizes for its theme.
poor rogues put me always in mind of a comGrecian Coffee-house, June 28.
mon phrase among school-boys when they are
composing their exercise, who run to an upper , There is a babit or custom which I have scholar, and cry, ' Pray give me a little sense.' put my patience to the utmost stretch to have But of all things commend me to the ladies suffered so long, because several of my intimate who are got into this pretty help to discourse. friends are in the guilt; and that is, the hu- I have been these three years persuading Samour of taking snuff, and looking dirty about gissa* to leave it off ; but she talks so much, the mouth by way of ornament.
and is so learned, that she is above contradicMy method is, to dive to the bottom of a tion.
However, an accident the otber day sore before I pretend to apply a remedy. For brought that about, wbich my eloquence could this reason, I sat by an eminent story-teller and Jolitician, who takes balf an ounce in five se low in her closet, who ran thither to avoid some
never accomplish. She had a very Pretty Felconds, and has mortgaged a pretty tenement company that came to visit her : she made an near the town, merely to improve and dung excuse to go in to bim for some implement his braios with this prolific powder. I observed they were talking of. Her eager gallant this gentleman, the other day, in the midst of
story, diverted from it by looking at something at a distance, and I softly bid bis box. But of Sagissa, a diminutive from the word Sage, was probably
The Ingenious lady here alluded to, under the name he returns to his tale, and, looking for his box, Mrs. De la Riviere Manley, who provoked Steele by the he cries, ' And so, sir—' Then, when he should liberties she had taken with his character in her Secret have taken a pinch, ' As I was saying-says renewed similar provocations in her after writings, and in be, ' has nobody seen my box? His friend be- return was treated most unmercifully.
Memoirs from the New Atlantis,' &c.
snaicbed a kiss; but, being unused to snuff, obedient, and most faithful humble servant,
Will's Coffee-house, June 29.
just to give an abstract of the laws of action,
for the belp of the less learned part of the White's Chocolate-house, June 29.
audience, that they may rationally enjoy su I know no manner of news from this place, refined and instructive a pleasure as a just rebut that Cynthio, having been long in despair presentation of human life. The great errors for the inexorable Clarissa, lately resolved to in playing are admirably well exposed in Hamfall in love with the good old way of bargain let's directions to the actors who are to play and sale, and has pitched upon a very agree in bis supposed tragedy; by which we shall able young woman. He will undoubtedly suc- form our future judgments on their behaviour, ceed; for he accosts her jo a strain of fami- and for that reason you bave the discourse as liarity, without breaking through the deference follows: that is due to a woman whom a man would • Speak the speech, I pray you, as I prochoose for his life.* I have hardly ever beard nounc'd it to you, trippingly on the tongue : rough truth spoken with a better grace tbau but if you mouth it, as many of our players do, in this bis letter.
I had as lieve the town-crier spoke my lines.
Nor do not saw the air too much with your • MADAM,
hand, thus; but use all gently: for in the very 'I writ to you on Saturday by Mrs. Lucy, torrent, tempest, and (as I may say) whirland give you this trouble to urge the same wind of your passion, you must acquire and request I made then, which was, that I may beget a temperance, that may give it smoothbe permitted to wait upon you. I should be dess. 0, it offends me to the soul, to hear a very far from desiring this, if it was a trans- robustious perriwig-pated fellow tear a passion gression of the most severe rules to allow it: to tatters, to very rags, to split the ears of the I know you are very much above the little arts groundlings; who, for the most part, are cawhich are frequent in your sex, of giving un. pable of nothing but inexplicable dumb shows, necessary torments to their admirers; there and poise; I would have such a fellow whipp'd fore hope you will do so much justice to the for o'er.doing Termagant; it out-herods Herod : generous passion I have for you, as to let me
pray you, avoid it. Be not too tame neither, bave an opportunity of acquainting you upon but let your own discretion be your tutor: suit what motives / pretend to your gond opinion. the action to the word, the word to the action; I shall not trouble you with my seutiments with this special observance, that you o'erstep until I know how they will be received; and not the modesty of nature: for any thing so as I know no reason why difference of sex overdone is froin the purpose of playing, whose should make our language to each other differend, both at the first, and now, was, and is, to from the ordinary rules of right reason, I shall bold, as 'twere, the inirror up to nature; to affect plainness and sincerity in my discourse show virtue her own feature, seorn her own to you, as much as other lovers do perplexity | image, and the very age and body of the time and rapture. Instead of saying, I shall die for his form and pressure. Now this, overdone, or you, I profess, I should be glad to lead my life
come tardy off, though it make the unskilful with you: you are as beautiful, as witty, as laugh, cannot but make the judicious grieve; prudent, and as good-humoured as any woman the censure of which one, must, in your allowbreathing; but I must confess to you, I regard ance, o’erweigh a whole theatre of others. O, all these excellencies as you will please to di- tbere he players, that I have seen play,--and rect them for my happiness or misery. With beard others praise, and that bigbly-106 to me, madam, the only lasting motive to love is speak it profanely, tbat, neither having the the hope of its becoming mutual. I beg of you accent of Christians, nor the gait of Christian, to let Mrs. Lucy send me word when I may pagan, nor man, have so strutted and bellow'd, attend you. I promise you I will talk of no- that I have thought some of nature's journey. thing biit indifferent things; though, at the men had made men, and not made them well, same time, I know not bow I shall approach they imitated humanity so abominably. This you in the tender moment of first seeing you, should be reformed altogether. And let those after this declaration of, inadam, your most that play your clowns, speak no more than is
set down for them: for there be of them, that • Tord Hinchinbroke married lady Elizabeth Popham, I will themselves laugh, to set on some quantity cnly slaughter of Alexander Popham, esquire, of Littlecote, of barren spectators to laugh too; though in
the mean time, some necessary question of the of Tournay, to make up the rein
wards Tournay, they endeavoured to return
into the town, but were intercepted by the From my own Apartment, June 29. earl of Orkney, by whom the whole body was It would be a very great obligation, and an killed or taken. These letters add, that twelve assistance to my treatise upon punning, if any bundred draguons (each horseman carrying a one would please to inform me in what class foot-soldier behind him) were detached from among the learned, who play with words, to Mons to throw themselves into Tournay, but, place the author of the following letter. upon appearance of a great budy of horse of
the allies, retired towards Conde. We hear 'SIR,
that the garrison does not consist of more than * Not long since you were pleased to give us three thousand tive hundred men. Of the a chimerical account of the famous family of sixty battalions designed to be employed in the Staffs, from whence I suppose you would this siege, seven are English, viz. two of guards, insinuate, that it is the most ancient and nu. and the regiments of Argyle, Temple, Evans, merous house in all Europe. But I positively and Meredith. deny that it is either, and wonder much at your audacious proceedings in this manner, since it is well known, that our most illustrious, No. 36.] Saturday, July 2, 1709. most renowned, and most celebrated Roman
Quicqnid agunt hominesfamily of Ix has enjoyed the precedency to all
nostri est farrago libelli. Juv. Sat, i. 85, 86. others, from the reign of good old Saturn. I Whate'er men do, or say, or think, or dream, could say much to the defamation and disgrace Our motley paper seizes for its theme. of your family; as, that your relations Distaff
BY MRS. JENNY DISTAFF, HALF-SISTER TO and Broomstaff were both inconsiderable mean
MR. BICKERSTAFF. persons, one spinning, the other sweeping the
From my own Apartment, June 30. streets, for their daily bread. But I forbear
MANY affairs calling my brother into the to vent my spleen on objects so much beneath my indignation. I shall only give the world country, the care of our intelligence with the
town is left to me for some time; therefore a catalogue of my ancestors, and leave them to determine which hath hitherto bad, and you must expect the advices you meet with in which for the future ought to bave, the pre-naturally fall under the consideration of our
paper, to be such as more immediately and ference. First then comes the most famous and popu
History, therefore, written by a woman, lar lady Meretrix, parent of the fertile family its forms, both in the abuse of, and obedience
you will easily imagine to consist of love in all of Bellatrix, Famulatrix, Nutrix, Obstetrix, Lotrix, Netrix, Coctrix, Orpatrix, Sarcinatrix, itself, it will not, it is hoped, be demanded that
to that passion. As to the faculty of writing Fextrix, Balneatrix, Portatrix, Saltatrix, Divinatrix, Conjectrix, Comtrix, Debitrix, Credi-style and ornament shall be so much consulted, trix, Donatrix, Ambulatrix, Mercatrix, Adsec.
as truth and simplicity; which latter qualities trix, Assectatrix, Palpatrix, Præceptrix, Pistrix. other sex. While, therefore, the administra
we may more justly pretend to beyond the 'I am yours, * ELIZ. POTATRIX.' tion of our affairs is in my hands, you shall
from time to time have an exact account of all St. James's Coffee-house, June 17. false lovers, and their shallow pretences for Letters from Brussels of the second of July, breaking off ; of all termagant wives who make N. S. say, that the duke of Marlborough and wedlock a yoke; of men who affect the enterprince Eugene, having received advice that the tainments and manners suitable only to our marsbal Villars had drawn a considerable body sex, and women who pretend to the conduct out of the garrison of Tournay, to reinforce of such affairs as are only within the province bis army, marched towards that place, and
It is necessary further to advertise came before it early in the morning of the the reader, that the usual places of resort being twenty-seventh. As soon as they caine into utterly out of my province or observation, I that ground, the prioce of Nassau was sent with shall be obliged frequently to change the dates a strong detachment to take post at St, Amand; of places, as occurrences come into my way, and at the same time my lord Orkney received The following letter I lately received from orders to possess himself of Mortagne ; both Epsom.* which were successfully executed; whereby we were masters of the Scheld and Scarp. * About this time Epsom was a place pretty much re Eight men were drawn out of each troop of sorted to in the summer season; bue the company there
generally consisted more of people in health, tban of per dragoons and company of foot in the garrison sons who had any real want of its mineral waters.
supple beseeching gesture. “My dear!" said ' Epsom, June 28.
he -“Tell me uo dears !" replied Autumn, 'It is now almost three weeks since what in the presence of the governor and all the you writ about happened in this place: The merchants—–“What will the world say of a quarrel between my friends did not run so high woman that has thrown herself away at this as I find your accounts have made it. The rate ?" Sir Thomas withdrew, and knew it truth of the fact you shall have very faithfully. would not be long a secret to him; as well as You are to understand, that the persons con. that experience told him, he that marries a cerned in this scene were lady Autumn, and lady fortune is of course guilty of all faults against Springly : Autumn is a person of good breeding, bis wife, let them be committed by whom they formality, and a singular way practised in the will. But Springly, an hour or two after, relast age ; and lady Springly a modern imper- turns from the Wells, and finds the whole comtinent of our sex, who affects as improper a pany together. Down she sat, and a profound familiarity, as the other does distance. Lady silence ensued. You know a premeditated Autumn knows to a hair's breadth where her quarrel usually begins, and works up with the place is in all assemblies and conversations; words some people. The silence was broken by but Springly neither gives nor takes place of lady Autumn, who began to say, “ There are any body, but understands the place to signify some people who fancy, that if some people"no more, than to have room enough to be at Springly immediately takes her up, “There ease wherever she comes. Thus, while Autumn are some people wbo fancy, if other people"takes the whole of this life to consist in under. Autumn repartees, People may give themstanding punctilio and decorum, Springly takes selves airs; but other people, perbaps, who every thing to be becoming, which contributes inake less ado, may be, perhaps, as agreeable to her ease and satisfaction. These heroines have as people who set themselves out more.” All married two brothers, both knights. Springly the other people at the table sát mute, while is the spouse of the elder, who is a baronet; these two people, who were quarrelling, went and Autumn, being a rich widow, has taken on with the use of the word people, instancing the younger, and her purse endowed bim with the very accidents between them, as if they an equal fortune, and knig bt hood of the same kept only in distant bints. Therefore, says order. This jumble of titles, you need not Autumn, reddening, “There are some people doubt, has been an aching torment to Autumn, will go abroad in other people's coaches, and who took place of the other on no pretence, leave those with whom they went to shift for but her carelessness and disregard of distinction. themselves : and if, perhaps, those people have The secret occasion of envy broiled long in the married the younger brother; yet, perhaps, he breast of Autumn; but no opportunity of con- may be beholden to those people for what he is. tention on that subject happening, kept all | Springly smartly answers, People may bring things quiet until the accident of which you so much ill-humour into a family, as people demand an account.
may repent their receiving their money;" and * It was given out among all the gay people goes on Every body is not considerable of this place, that on the ninth instant several enough to give her uneasiness." Upon this damsels, swift of foot, were to run for a suit of Autumn comes up to her, and desired her to head-cloaths at the Old Wells. Lady Autumn kiss her, and never to see her again ; which on this occasion invited Springly to go with her ber sister refusing, my lady gave her a box on in her coach to see the race. When they came the ear.--
--Springly returns ; Ay, ay, said to the place, where the governor of Epsom and she, I knew well enough you meant me by your all his court of citizens were assembled, as well some people ;" and gives another on the other as a crowd of people of all orders, a brisk young side. To it they went with most masculine fellow addresses himself to the younger of the fury; each husband ran in. The wives immeladies, viz. Springly, and offers her his service diately fell upon their husbands, and tore per. to conduct her into the music-room. Springly riwigs and cravats, the company interposed, accepts the compliment, and is led triumphantly when (according to the slip-knot of matrimony, through a bowing crowd, while Autumn is left which makes them return to one another when among the rabble, and has much ado to get any put in between the ladies and tbeir husback into her coach ; but she did it at last : bands fell upon all the rest of the company; and as it is usual to see by the horses my lady's and, having beat all their friends and relations present disposition, she orders John to whip out of the house, came to themselves time furiously home to her husband; where, when enough to know, there was no bearing the jest she enters, down she sits, began to unpin her of the place after these adventures, and therehood, and lament ber foolish fond heart, to fore marched off the next day. It is said, the marry into a family where she was so little re-governor has sent several joints of mutton, and garded; she that might - Here she stops ; has proposed divers dishes very exquisitely then rises up, and stamps and sits down again. dressed, to bring them down again. From bis Her genu- knight made his approach with a | address and knowledge in roast and boiled, all
• MARTIA TATLER.'
our bopes of the return of this good company what contradictions nature is pleased to form depend. I am, dear Jenny,
in the same species. Here am I, able to eat, Your ready friend and servant. to drink, to sleep, and to do all acts of nature,
except begetting my like; and yet, by an un
intelligible force of spleen and fancy, I every While's Chocolate-house, June 30.
moment imagine I am dying. It is utter madThis day appeared here a figure of a person, ness in thee to provide for supper; for I will whose services to the fair sex have reduced him bet you ten to one, you do not live until balf to a kind of existence for which there is no
an hour after four; and yet I am so distracted name. If there be a condition between life as to be in fear every moment, though I will and death, without being absolutely dead or lay ten to three, I drink three pints of burnt living, his state is that. His aspect and com- claret at your funeral three nights hence. After plexion, in bis robust days, gave him the illus- all, I envy thee; thou who, dying, hast no sense trious title of Africanus: but it is not only of death, art happier than one in health, who from the warm climates in which be has served, always fears it. The knight had gone on, but por from the disasters which he bas suffered, that a third man ended the scene, by applaudthat he deserves the same appellation with that ing the knight's eloquence and philosophy, in renowned Roman; but the magnanimity with a laughter too violent for bis own constitution, which he appears in his last moments, is what as much as he mocked that of Africanus and gives him the undoubted character of hero. Monoculus. Cato stabbed bimself, and Hannibal drank
St. James's Coffee-house, July 1. poison; but our Africanus lives in the continual puncture of aching bones and poisoned juices.
This day arrived here three mails from HolThe old heroes fled from torments, by death ; I land, with advices relating to the affairs of the and this modern lives in death and torments,
Low-Countries, which say, that the confederate with an beart wholly bent upon a supply for army extends from Louchin, on the causeway remaining in them. An ordinary spirit would Mortagne on the Scheld. The marshal Villars
between Tournay and Lisle, to Epain, near sink under his oppressions, but he makes an advantage of his very sorrow, and raises an
remains in his camp at Lens; but it is said, income from his diseases. Long has this worthy mand of the chevalier de Luxemburg, with
he detached ten thousand men under the combeen conversant jo bartering and knows that orders to form a camp at Crepin on the Haine, when stocks are lowest, it is the time to buy between Conde and St. Guillain, where he is Therefore, with much prudence and tranquil. lity, be thinks, that now, he has not a bone
to be joined by the elector of Bavaria with a sound, but a thousand nodous parts for which body of troops, and after their conjunction, to the anatomists bave not words, and more
attempt to march into Brabant.
But they diseases than the college ever heard of, it is write from Brussels, that the duke of Marlbothe only time to purchase an annuity for life. rough baving it equally in his power to make Sir Thomas told me, it was an entertainment detachments to the same parts, they are under more surprising and pleasant than can be ima
no apprehensions from these reports for the gined, to see an inhabitant of neither world, safety of their country. They further add from without band to lift, or leg to move, scarce
Brussels, that they have good authority for betongue to utter bis meaning, so keen upon duct of the marshal de Bezons are retiring out
lieving that the French troops under the conbiting the whole world, and making bubbles at bis exit. Sir Thomas added, that he would
of Spain. bave bought twelve shillings a-year of him, but tbat he feared there was some trick in it, No. 37.] Tuesday, July 5, 1709. and believed him already dead.
Quicquid agunt homioesthe knight, “is Mr. Partridge whom I met just
nostri est farrago libelli. Juv. Sat. i. 85, 86. now going on both his legs firmer than I can, Whate'er men do, or say, or think, or dream, allowed to be quite dead; and shall Africanus,
Our motley paper seizes for its theme. without ove limb that can do its office, he BY MRS. JENNY DISTAFF, HALF-SISTER TO pronounced alive?' What heightened the tragi-comedy of this
White's Chocolate-house, July 2. market for annuities was, that the observation It may be thought very unaccountable, that of it provoked Monoculus (who is the most I, who can never be supposed to go to White's, eloquent of all men) to many excellent reflec- should pretend to talk to you of matters proper Cions, which he spoke with the vehemence and for, or in the style of that place. But though language both of a gamester and an orator. I never visit these public haunts, I converse
When I cast,' said that delightful speaker, with those who do; and for all they pretend so ‘my eye upon thee, thou unaccountable Afri- much to the contrary, they are as talkative as eanus, I cannot but call myself as unaccountable our sex, and as much at a loss to entertain the as thou art ; for certainly we were born to show present company, without sacrificing the last