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'Mr Thomas Trueman of Lime-street is en- have been tbrown away, and turned to no tered among the heroes of domestic life. account, merely for want of due and timely

• CHARLES LILLIE.' intelligence. Nay, it has been known, that a

panegyric has been half printed off, when the

poet, upon the removal of the minister, has No. 214.] Tuesday, August 22, 1710.

been forced to altar it into a satire. -Soles et apcrta serena

For the conduct therefore of such useful Prospiceri et certis poteris cognoscere siguis. persons, as are ready to do their country ser

Virg. Georg. I. 39.3.

vice upon all occasions, I bave an engine in my Tis easy to descry

study, which is a surt of a Political Barometer, Returning suns, and a serener sky. Dryden.

or, to speak more intelligibly, a State Wea.

ther-glass, that by the rising and falling of a From my own Apartment, August 21.

certain magical liquor, presages all changes In every party there are two sorts of men, and revolutions in government, as the common the rigid and the supple. The rigid are an glass does those of the weather. This Weaintractable race of mortals, who act upon prin. ther-glass is said to have been invented by ciple, and will not, forsooth, fall into any inea, Cardan,* and given by him as a present to sures that are not consistent with their received his great countrymau and contemporary, Manotions of honour. These are persons of a chiaval; which, by the way, may serve to rectify stubborn unpliant morality ; that sullenly ad.

a received error in chronology, that places one here to their friends when they are disgraced, of these some years after the other.

How or and to their principles, though they are ex

when it came into my hands, I shall desire to ploded. I shall therefore give up this stiff- be excused, if I keep to myself; but so it is, necked generation to their own obstinacy, and that I have walked by it for the better part of turo my thoughts to the advantage of the sup.

a century to my safety at least, if not to my ple, who pay their homage to places, and not advantage; and have among my papers a regis persons; and, without enslaving themselves to

ter of all the changes that have bappened in it any particular scheine of opinions, are as

from the middle of queen Elizabeth's reigo. ready to change their conduct in point of sen- In the time of that princess it stood long as timent as of fashion. The well-disciplined part settled fair. At the latter end of king James of a court are generally so perfect at their the First, it fell, to cloudy. It held several exercise, that you may see a whole assembly, years after at stormy; insomuch, that at last, from front to rear, face about at once to a new desparing of seeing any clear weather at home, man of power, though at the same time, they I followed the royal exile, and some time after turn their backs upon him that brought them finding my glass rise, returned to my native thither. · The great hardship these complaisant country, with the rest of the loyalists. I was members of society are under, seems to be the then in hopes to pass the remainder of my days want of warning upon any approaching change in settled fair : but alas! during the greatest or revolution ; so that they are obliged in a part of that reign the English nation lay in a hurry to tack about with every wind, and stop dead calm, which, as it is usual, was followed short in the midst of a full career, to the great

by high winds and tempests, until of late surprise and derision of their beholders.

years; in which, with unspeakable joy and When a man forsees a decaying ministry, he satisfaction, I have seen our political weather bas leisure to grow a malecontent, reflect upuri returned to settled fair. I must only observe, the present conduct, and, by gradual murmurs, that for all this last summer my glass has fall off from his friends into a new party, by pointed at changeable. Upon the whole, I just steps and measures. For want of such

often apply to Fortune, Æneas's speech to the notices, I bave formerly known a very well

Sibyl:bred person refuse to return a bow of a man

Non ulla laborum

O virgo, nova mi facies inopinave surgit : whom he thought in disgrace, that was next

Omnia præcepi, atqne animo mecum ante peregi. day made secretary of state ; and another, who,

Virg. Æn. vi, 103. after a long neglect of a minister, came to his

-No terror to my view, levee, and made professions of zeal for his No frightful face of langer can be new :

The mind foretells whatever coines to pass ;
service the very day before he was turned out.

A thoughtful mind is Portone's weather-glass.
This produces also unavoidable confusions and
mistakes in the descriptions of great men's parts

The advantages wbich have accrued to those and merits. That ancient Lyric M. D'Urfey, whom I have advised in their affairs, by virtue some years ago writ a dedication to a certain

Jerom Cardan, physician and an astrologer, the author lord, in which he celebrated him for the great- of ten volumes in folio, was, in the opinion of Bayle, one est poet and critic of that age, upon a misin- of vie greatest geniuses of his age. This strange man, who formation in Dyer's Letter, that his noble seeins to have been much ander the power of superstition patron was made lord chamberlain. In short, and, at times, not seklom, insane, was born at Pavia, Sep

tember 24, 1501, and died at Rome, according to Thuanus, jonumerable votes, speeches, and sermons, September 21, 1570.


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of this sort of prescience, have been very con- | searching all over the wood ! we wanted you
siderable. A nephew of mine, who has never at cards after dinner ; but you are much better
put his money into the stocks, or taken it out, employed. I have heard indeed that you are
without my advice, has in a few years raised an excellent scholar. But at the same time,
five hundred pounds to almost so many thou- is it not a little unkind to rob the ladies, who
sands. As for myself, who look upon riches to like you so well, of the pleasure of your com-
consist rather in content than possessions, and pany? But that is indeed the misfortune of
measure the greatness of the mind rather by you great scholars; you are seldom su fit for
its tranquillity than its ambition, I have seldom the world as those who never trouble them.
used my glass to make my way in the world, selves with books. Well, I see you are taken
but often to retire from it. This is a by-path up with your learning there, and I will leave
to happiness, which was at first discovered to you.' Lysander says, be made bim no answer,
me by a most pleasing apophthegm of Pytha. but took a resolution to complain to me.
goras: 'When the winds,' says be,ʻrise, wor- It is a substantial affliction, when men
ship the ecbo.' That great philosopher (whe-govern themselves by the rules of good breed.
ther to make his doctrines the more venerable, ing, that by the very force of them they are
or to gild bis precepts with the beauty of ima- subjected to the insolence of those, who either
gination, or to awaken the curiosity of his dis never will, or never can, understand them.
ciples, for I will not suppose, what is usually The superficial part of mankind form to them-
said, that he did it to conceal bis wisdom from selves little measures of behaviour from the
the vulgar) has couched several admirable pre- outside of things. By the force of these nar-
cepts in remote allusions, and mysterious sen- row conceptions, they act among themselves
tences. By the winds in his apophthegm, are with applause ; and do not apprehend they are
meant state hurricanes and popular tumulis. contemptible to those of bigber understanding,

When these rise,' says be,' worship the echo;' who are restrained by decencies above their
that is, withdraw yourself from the multitude knowledge from showing a dislike. Hence it
into deserts, woods, solitudes, or the like retire- is, that because complaisance is a good quality
ments, which are the usual habitations of the in conversation, one impertinent takes upon

him on all occasions to commend ; and because
mirth is agreeable, another thinks fit eternally

to jest. I have of late received many packets No. 215.) Thursday, August 24, 1710. of letters, complaining of these spreading evils.

A lady who is lately arrived at the Bath acFrom my own Apartment, August 23.

quaints me, there were in the stage-coach LYSANDER has writ to me out of the country, wherein she went down a common fatterer, and tells me, after many other circumstances, and a common jester. These gentlemen were, that he had passed a great deal of time with she tells me, rivals in her favour; and adds, much pleasure and tranquillity ; until bis if there ever happened a case wherein of two bappiness was interrupted by an indiscreet persons one was not liked more than another, flatterer, who came down into those parts to it was in that journey. They differed only in visit a relation. With the circumstances in proportion to the degree of dislike between the which he represents the matter, he had no nauseous and the insipid. Both these characsmall provocation to be offended; for he at- ters of men are born out of a barrenness of tacked bin in so wrong a season, that he could imagination. They are never fools by nature; not have any relish of pleasure in it; though, but become such out of an impotent ambition perhaps, at another time it might have passed of being, what she never intended them, men upon him without giving him much uneasiness. of wit and conversation. I therefore think fit Lysander had, after a long satiety of the town, to declace, that according to the knowo laws been so happy as to get to a solitude he ex- of this land, a man may be a very honest gentremely liked, and recovered a pleasure he had tleman, and enjoy himself and his friend, long discontinued, that of reading. He was without being a wit ; and I absolve all men got to the bank of a rivulet, covered by a fronı taking pains to be such for the future. pleasing shade, and fanned by a soft breeze ; As the present case stands, is it not very un. wbicb threw bis mind into that sort of compo- happy that Lysander must be attacked and sure and attention, in which a inan, though applauded in a wood, and Corrina jolted and with indolence, enjoys the utmost liveliness of commended in a stage-coach ; and this for no bis spirits, and the greatest strength of his manner of reason, but because other people mind at the same time. In this state, Lysan- have a mind to show their parts? I grant der represents that he was reading Virgil's indeed, if these people, as they have underGeorgics, when on a sudden the gentleman standing enough for it, would confine their acabove-mentioned surprised him; and, without complishments to those of their own degree of any manner of preparation, falls upon him at talents, it were to be tolerated; but when they once: ‘What! have found you at last, after are so insolent as to interrupt the meditations

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of the wise, the conversations of the agreeable, 'To Isaac Bickerstaff, Esquire. and the whole behaviour of the modest, it be- The humble Petition of the Company of comes a grievance naturally in my jurisdiction. Linendrapers, residing within the liberty Among themselves, I cannot ooly overlook, but of Westminster, approve it. I was present the other day at a conversation, wbere a man of this height of

• SHEWETIT, breeding and sense told a young woman of the

'That there has of late prevailed among the same form, ' To be sure, madam, every thing ladies so great an affectation of nakedness, must please that comes from a lady.' She that they have not only left the basom wholly answered, ' I know, sir, you are so much a bare, but lowered their stays some inches below gentleman, that you think so.' Why this was

the former mode. very well on both sides; and it is impossible "That, in particular, Mrs. Arabella Overdo that such a gentleman and lady should do bas not the least appearance of linen; and our otherwise than think well of one another. best customers show but little above the small These are but loose bints of the disturbances of their backs. in human society, for which there is yet no . That by this means your Petitivners are in remedy; but I shall in a little time publish danger of losing the advantage of covering a tables of respect and civility, by which persons niuth part of every woman of quality in Great may be instructed in the proper times and sea- Britain. sons, as well as at what degree of intimacy a

Your Petitioners humbly offer the premises man may be allowed to commend or rally his

to your Indulgence's consideration, and companions; the promiscuous licence of which

shall ever, &c.' is, at present, far from being among the small errors in conversation.

Before I answer this Petition, I am inclined

to examine the offenders myself. P. S. The following letter was left, with a request to be immediately answered, lest tbe artifices used against a lady in distress may No. 216.) Saturday, August 26, 1710. come into cummon practice.

m- Nugis addere pondus. Hor. 1 Ep. i. 42. "SIR,

Weight and importance some to trifles give. • My eldest sister buried her husband about

R. Wynne. six months ago; and at his funeral, a gentle. From my own Apartment, August 25. man of more art than honesty, on the night

NATURE is full of wonders; every atom is a of his interment, while she was not herself, standing miracle, and endowed with such quabut in the utmost agony of her grief, spoke to lities, as could not be impressed on it by a her of the subject of love. In that weakness

power and wisdom less than infinite. Por ibis and distraction which my sister was in, as one ready to fall is apt to lean on any body, he ob

reason, I would not disconrage any searches

that are made into the most minute and trivial tained her promise of marriage, which was

parts of the creation. However, since the accordingly consummated eleven weeks after. world abounds in the nohtest fields of specuThere is no affliction comes alone, but one lation, it is, met binks, the mark of a little gebrings another. My sister is now ready to nius, to be wholly conversant among insects, lie in. She humbly asks of you, as you are a friend to the sex, to let her know, wbo is the that furnish out the apartment of a virtuoso.

reptiles, animalcules, and those trilling rarities lawful father of this child, or whether she may

There are svale men whose beads are so not be relieved from this second marriage ; oddly turned this way, that though they are considering it was promised under such cir.

utter strangers to the common occurrences of cumstances as one may very well suppose she did not what she did voluntarily, but because life, they are able to discover the sex of a

cockle, or describe the generation of a mite, she was helpless otherwise. She is advised

in all its circumstances. They are so little something about engagements made in gaol, versed in the world, that they scarce know a which she thinks the same, as to the reason of horse from an ox; but, at the same time, will the thing. But, dear sir, she relies upon your tell you with a great deal of gravity, that a advice, and gives you her service ; as dues your Alea is a rhinoceros, and a snail a hermaphrohumble servant,

dite. I have known one of these whimsical

philosophers, who has set a greater value upon The case is very hard ; and I fear the plea a collection of spiders than he would upon a she is advised to make, from the similitude of flock of sheep, and has sold his coat off his a man who is in duresse, will not prevail. But back to purchase a tarantula. though I despair of remedy as to the mother, I would not have a scholar wholly unac the law gives the cbild bis choice of his father quainted with these secrets and curiosities of where the birth is thus legally ambiguous. nature; but certainly the mind of man, that


is capable of so much bigher contemplations, Item, To my learned and worthy fried should not be altogether fixed upon such mean doctor Johannes Elscrickius, professor in anaand disproportioned objects. Observations of tomy, and my associate in tbe studies of nature, this kind are apt to alienate us too much from as an eternal monument of my affection and the knowledge of the world, and to make us friendship for him, I bequeath serious upon trifles; hy which means they ex- My rat's testicles, and pose philosophy to the ridicule of the witty, Whale's pizzle, and contempt of the ignorant. In short, stu. to him and his issue male; and in default of dies of tbis nature should be the diversions, such issue in the said doctor Elscrickius, then relaxations, and amusements; not the care, to return to my executor and his beies for ever. business, and concern of life. It is indeed wonderful to consider, that there

Having fully provided for my nephew Isaac, should be a sort of learned men, who are

by making over to him some years since,

A horned Scarabæus, wholly employed in gathering together the refuse of nature, if I may call it so, and hoarding

The skin of a rattle-spake, and up in their chests and cabinets such creatures

The mummy of an Egyptian king, as others industriously avoid the sight of. One I make no further provision for him in this does not know how to mention some of the my will. most precious parts of their treasure, without a kind of an apology for it. I have been shown fully of his little sister, whom I keep by me in

My eldest son John, baving spoke disrespect. a beetle valued at twenty crowns, and a toad spirits of wine, and in many other instances at a hundred: but we must take this for a

Debaved himself undutifully towards me, I do general rule,“ That whatever appears trivial disinherit, and wholly cut off from any part of or obscene in the common notions of the world, this niy personal estate, by giving him a single Jooks grave and philosophical in the eye of a

cockle shell. virtuoso.'

To show this humour in its perfection, I shall To my second son Charles I give and bepresent my reader with the legacy of a certain queath all my flowers, plants, minerals, mosses, virtuoso, who laid out a considerable estate shells, pebbles, fossils, beetles, butterflies, cain natural rarities and curiosities, which upon terpillars, grasshoppers, and vermin, not above his death-bed be bequeathed to his relations specified; as also all my monsters, both wet and friends, in the following words:

and dry; making the said Charles whole and

sole executor of this my last will and testa. The Will of a Virtuoso.

ment: he paying, or causing to be paid, the I, Nicholas Gimcrack, being in sound health aforesaid legacies within the space of six months of mind, but in great weakness of body, do by after my decease. And I do hereby revoke this my last will and testament bestow my all other wills whatsoever by me formerly worldly goods and chattels in manner follow-made. ing: Imprimis, To my dear wife, One box of butterflies,

Whereas an ignorant upstart in astrology One drawer of shells,

has publicly endeavoured to persuade the world. A female skeleton,

that he is the late John Partridge, who died A dried cockatrice.

the twenty-eighth of March, 1708: These are Item, To my daughter Elizabeth,

to certify all whom it may concern, that the My receipt for preserving dead caterpil.

true Jolin Partridge was not only dead at that

time, but continues so to this present day. lars,

Beware of counterfeits, for such are abroad. As also my preparations of winter May

dew, and embryo pickle. Item, To my little daughter Fanny,

No. 217.) Tuesday, August 29, 1710. Three crocodile s eggs,

Atqna deos atque astra vocat crudelia mater. And upon the birth of her first child, if she

Virg. Ecl. v. ver. 23. marries with her mother's consent,

She sigb'd, she sobb'd, and furious with despair, The nest of a bumming-bird.

Accused all the gods, and every star, Dryden. Item, To my eldest brother, as an acknowledgment for the lands he has vested in my From my own Apartment, August 28. son Charles, i bequeatis

As I was passing by a neighbour's house this My last year's collection of grasshoppers. morning, I overbeard the wife of the family

Item, To his daughter Susanna, being his speaking things to her busband which gave only child, I bequeath my

me much disturbance, and put me in mind of English weeds pasted on royal paper,

a character which I wonder I have so long With my large folio of Indian cabbage. omitted, and that is, an outrageous species of


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the fair sex, which is distinguished by the term other than exercises of their own lungs and
Scolds. The generality of women are by nature their busbands' patience, gain by the force of
loquacious ; therefore mere volubility of speech being resisted, and flame with open fury, which
is not to be imputed to them, but should be is no way to be opposed but by being neglected;
considered with pleasure when it is used to ex- though at the same time human frailty makes
press such passions as tend to sweeten or adorn it very hard, to relish the pbilosophy of con
conversation : but when through rage, females temning even frivolous reproach. There is a
are vehement in their eluquence, nothing in very pretty instance of this infirmity in the
the world has so ill an effect upon the features; man of the best sense that ever was, no less a
for, by the force of it, I have seen the most person than Adam himself. According to Mil-
amiable become the most deformed; and she ton's description of the first couple, as soon as
that appeared one of the graces, immediately they had fallen, and the turbulent passions of
turned into one of the furies. I humbly con- anger, batred, and jealousy, first entered their
ceive, the great cause of this evil may proceed breasts ; Adam grew moody, and talked to his
frum a false notion the ladies have of, what wife, as you may find it in the three hundred
we call, a modest woman. They have too and fifty-ninth page, and vinth book of Para-
narrow a conception of this lovely character; dise Lost, in the octavo edition, which, out of
and believe they have nut at all forfeited their heroics, and put into domestic style, would run
pretensions to it, provided they have no im- thus:
putations on their chastity. But, alas! the ‘Madam, if my advices had been of any au-
young fellows know they pick out better women thority with you, when that strange desire of
in the side-boxes, than many of those who pass gadding possessed you this morning, we had
upon the world and themselves for modest. still been happy; but your cursed vanity and

Modesty never rages, never murmurs, never opinion of your own conduct, which is certainly
pouts ; when it is ill-treated, it pines, it be- very wavering when it seeks occasions of being
seeches, it languishes. The neighbour I men- proved, has ruined both yourself and me, who
tion is one of your common modest women, that trusted you.'
is to say, those who are ordinarily reckoned Eve had no fan in her hand to ruffle, or
such. Her husband knows every pain in life tucker to pull down; but with a reproachful
with her but jealousy. Now, because she is air she answered :
clear in this particular, the man cannot say his Sir, do you impute that to my desire of
soul is bis own, but she cries : No modest gadding, which might have bappened to your-
woman is respected now-a-days. What adds self, with all your wisdom and gravity? The
to the comedy in this case is, that it is very or- serpent spoke so excellently, and with so good
dinary with this sort of women to talk in the a grace, tbat- -Besides, what harm had ]
language of distress ; they will complain of the ever done him, that he should design me any?
forlorn wretchedness of their condition, and Was I to have been always at your side, I might
then the poor belpless creatures shall throw the as well have continued there, and been but
next thing they can lay their hands on at the your rib still : but if I was so weak a creature
person who offends them. Our neighbour was as you thought me, why did you not interpose
only saying to his wife, she went a little too your sage authority more absolutely? You
fine,' when she immediately pulled bis periwig denied me going as faintly, as you say I re-
off, and stamping it under her feet, wrung her sisted the serpent. Had not you been too easy,
hands, and said : ' Never modest woman was neither you nor I bad now transgressed.' Adam
so used. These ladies of irresistible modesty replied, “Why, Eve, bast thou the impudence
are those who make virtue unamiable; not that to upbraid me as the cause of thy transgression
they can be said to be virtuous, but as they for my indulgence to thee? Thus will it ever
live without scandal ; and being under the com- be with him, who trusts too much to woman.
mon denomination of being such, men fear to At the same time that she refuses to be go-
meet their faults in those who are as agreeable verned, if she suffers by her obstinacy, she will
as they are innocent.

accuse the man that shall leave her to herself.' I take the Bully among men, and the Scold Thus they in matnal accosation spent among women, to draw the foundation of their The fruitless hours, but neither self-condemning ; actions from the same defect in the mind. A

And of their vain contest appear'd no end. Bully thinks honour consists wholly in being This, to the modern, will appear but a very brave ; and therefore has regard to no one rule faint piece of conjugal enmity: but you are to of life if he preserves bimself from the accusa- consider, that they were but just begun to be tion of 'cowardice. The froward woman knows angry,and they wanted new words for expressing chastity to be the first merit in a woman; and their new passions; but by her accusing him Iberefore, since no one can call her one ugly of letting her go, and telling him how good a name, she calls all mankind all the rest. speaker, and how fine a gentleman the devil

These ladies, where their companions are so was, we must reckon, allowing for the imimprudent as to take their speeches for any I provements of time, that she gave him the

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