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up to that of Horace's 'simplex munditiis ;' | own, that black Kate at Deptford has made me which whoever can translate in two words, has very unsafe to eat; and, I speak it with shame, As much eloquence as lady Courtly. I took the 1 am afraid, gentlemen, I should poison you.' liberty to tell her, that 'all she had said with ço much good grace, was spoken in two words This speech bad a good effect in the boat. .. Horace, but would not undertake to trans- swain's favour; but the surgeon of the ship ate them ;' upon which she smiled, and told protested he had cured him very well, and of. me, 'she believed me a very great scholar ;'fered to eat the first steak of him bimself. and I took my leave.
The boatswain replied, like an orator, with
a true notion of the people, and in hopes to From my own Apartment, August 31. gain time, that'he was heartily glad if be I have been just now reading the introduc- could be for their service;' and thanked the tion to the bistory of Catiline by Sallust, au surgeon for bis information. However,' said author wbo is very much in my favour: but he, 'I must inform you for your own good, that when I reflect upon his professing himself wholly I have, ever since my cure, been very thirsty disinterested, and, at the same time, see how and dropsical; therefore, I presume, it would industriously be bas avoided saying any thing be much better to tap me, and drink me off, to the praise of Cicero, to whose vigilance the than eat me at once, and have no man in the cominonwealth owed its safety, it very much ship fit to be drunk. As he was going on with lessens my esteem for that writer; and is one his harangue, a fresh gale arose, and gave the argument, among others, for laughing at all crew hopes of a better repast at the nearest who pretend to be out of the interests of the shore, to which they arrived next morning. world, and profess purely to act for the service Most of the self-denials we meet with are of of mankind, without the least regard to them- this sort; therefore, I think he acts fairest who selves. I do not deny but that the rewards owns, he hopes at least to bave brother's fare, are different; some aim at riches, others at without professing that he gives himself up with honour, by their public services. However, pleasure to be devoured for the preservation of they are all pursuing some end to themselves, bis fellows. though indeed those ends differ as much as right and wrong. The most grateful way then,
St. James's Coffee-house, August 31. I sbould think, would be to acknowledge, that Letters from the Hague of the sixth of Sepyou aim at serving yourselves; but, at the same tember, N.S. say, that the governor of the time make it appear, it is for the service of citadel of Tournay having offered their highothers that you have these opportunities. nesses the duke of Marlborough and the prince
Of all the disinterested professors I have ever of Savoy to surrender that place on the thirtyheard of, I take the boatswain of Dampier's first of the last month, on terms which were sbip to be the most impudent, but the most not allowed tbem by those princes, hostilities excusable. You are to know that, in the wild were thereupon renewed; but that on the third searches that navigator was making, they hap- the place was surrendered, with a seeming conpened to be out at sea, far distant from any dition granted to the besieged, above that of shore, in want of all the necessaries of life; in-being prisoners of war: for they were forthsomuch that they began to look, not without with to be conducted to Conde, but were to be bunger, op each other. The boatswain was a exchanged for prisoners of the allies, and parfat, healthy, fresh fellow, and attracted the ticularly those of Warneton were mentioned in eyes of the whole crew. In such an extreme the demand. Both armies having stretched necessity, all forms of superiority were laid towards Mons with the utmost diligence, that aside: the captain and lieutenant were safe of the allies, though they passed the much only by being carrion, and the unhappy boat- more difficult road, arrived first before that swain in danger only by being worth eating. town, which they have now actually invested ; To be short, the company were unanimous, and the quarter-master-general was, at the and the boatswain must be cut up. He saw time of despatching these letters, marking the their intention, and desired he might speak a ground for the encampment of the covering few words before they proceeded; which being army. permitted, he delivered bimself as follows:
To the booksellers, or others whom this • GENTLEMEN SAILORS,
advertisement may concern. • Far be it that I should speak it for any pri- Mr. Omicron,* the unborn poet, gives novate interest of my own; but I take it that I tice, that he writes all treatises, as well in verse should not die with a good conscience, if I did as prose, being a ninth son, and translates out ut confess to you, that I am not sound. I say, of all languages, without learning or study. gentlemev, justice and the testimony of a good conscience, as well as love of my country, to
Mr. Olibynixon was here ridiculed under the title of ubich I hope you will all returo, oblige me to N. Omicron,
If any bookseller will treat for bis pastoral | found, who would not rather be in pain to apon the siege and surrender of the citadel of pear happy, than be really happy and thought Tournay, he must send in his proposals before miserable. This men attempt by sumptuous the news of a capitulation for any other town. equipages, splendid houses, numerous servants,
The undertaker for either play-house may and all the cares and pursuits of an ambitious
to each other, and rivals in happiness. There is
of the one, as to give him little notices of cerNo, 63.) Suturduy, September 3, 1709. tain secret points, wherein the other is uneasy.
Gnatho has the skill of doing this, and never White's Chocolate house, September 2.
applauds the improvements Bromeo bas heen OF THE ENJOYMENT OF LIFE WITH REGARD many years making, and ever will be making, TO OTHERS.
but he adds, ‘Now this very thing was my I have ever thought it the greatest diminu. thought when Tabio was pulling up his undertion to the Roman glory imaginable, that in wood, yet he never would hear of it; but now their institution of public triumphs, they led your gardens are in this posture, he is ready to their enemies in chains when they were prison. hang himself. Well, to be sincere, that situaers. It is to be allowed that doing all honour tion of his can never make an agreeable seat; to the superiority of heroes abuve the rest of he may make his house and appurtenances mankind, must needs conduce to the glory and what he pleases, but he cannot remove them to advantage of a nation ; but what shocks the the same ground where Bromeo's stands; and imagination to reflect upon is, that a polite of all things under the sun, a man that is happy people should think it reasonable, that an un- at second-hand is the most monstrous.' 'It is happy man, who was no way inferior to the a very strange madness,' answers Bromeo, if victor but by the chance of war, should be led a man on these occasions can think of any end like a slave at the wheels of his chariot. In- but pleasing himself. As for my part, if things deed, these other circumstances of a triumph, are convenient, I hate all ostentation. There that it was not allowed in a civil war, lest one is no end of the fully of adapting our affairs to part should be in tears, wbile the other was the imagination of others,' Upon which, the making acclamations ; that it should not be next thing he does is to enlarge whatever he granted, except such a number were slain in hears his rival has attempted to imitate him battle; that the general should be disgraced in ; but their misfortune is, ihat they are in who made a false muster of bis dead ; tbese, I their time of life, in their estates, and in their say, had great and politic ends in their being understandings, equal; so that the emulation established, and tended to the apparent benefit may continue to the last day of their lives. As of the commonwealth. But this behaviour to it stands now, Tabio has beard, tbat Bromeo the conquered had no foundation in nature bas lately purchased two hundred a year in the or policy, only to gratify the insolence of a annuities since he last settled the account of Daughty people, who triumphed over barba- their happiness, in which he thought bimself rous vations, by acting what was fit only for to have the balance. This may seem a very tbose very barbarians to practise. It seems fantastical way of thinking in these men; but wonderful, that they who were so refined as to there is nothing so common, as a man's endea. take care, that to complete the honour done vouring rather to go farther than some other to the victorious officer, no power should be person towards an easy fortune, than to form known above him in the empire on the day of any certain standard that would make himself his triumph, but that the consuls themselves happy. should be but guests at bis table that evening, could not take it into thought to make the
Will's Coffee-house, September 2. man of chief note among his prisoners one of Mr. Dactyle has been this evening very prothe company. This would have improved the fuse of bis eloquence upon the talent of turngladness of the occasion; and the victor had ing things into ridicule; and seemed to say very made a much greater figure, in that no other justly, that 'there was generally in it something man appeared unhappy on bis day, than be too disengenuous for the society of liberal men, cause no other man appeared great.
except it were governed by the circumstances But we will wave at present such important of persons, time, and place. This talent,' conti. incidents, and turn our thoughts rather to the pued be, 'is to be used as a man does bis sword, familiar part of buman life, and we shall find, not to be drawn but iu bis own defence, or to that the great business we contend for is in a bring pretenders and impostors in society to a sess degree what those Romans did on more true light. But we have seen this faculty so solemn occasions, to triumph over our fellow- mistaken, that the burlesque of Virgil himself ereatures; and there is barilly a man to be has passed, among men of little taste, for wit.
and the poblest thoughts that can enter into an acknowledgment of his faults; I thought it the beart of man levelled with ribaldry and for the good of my fellow-writers to publish it. baseness : though by the rules of justice, no man ought to be ridiculed for any imperfection,
“SIR, who does not set up for eminent sufficiency in
'It must be allowed, that esquire Bickerstaff that way wherein he is defective. Thus cow
is of all authors the most ingenuous. There ards, who would hide themselves by an affected
are few, very few, that will own themselves in terror in their mien and dress ; and pedants,
a mistake, though all the world see them to be who would show the depth of their knowledge in downright nonsense. You will be pleased, by a supercilious gravity, are equally the ob. sir, to pardon this expression, for the same jects of laughter. Not that they are in them
reason for which you once desired us to excuse selves ridiculous, for their want of courage, or
you, when you seemed any thing dull. Most weakness of understanding ; but that they seem
writers, like the generality of Paul* Lorraine's insensible of their own place in life, and un- saints, seem to place a peculiar vanity in dying happily rank themselves with those whose abi- hard. But you, sir, to show a good example to lities, compared to their defects, make them your brethren, have not only coalessed, but of contemptible. At the same time, it must be your own accord mended the indictment. Nay, remarked, that, risibility being the effect of you have been so good-natured as to discover reason, a man ought to be expelled from sober beauties in it, which, I will assure you, he that company who laughs without it.' 'Ha! ha!' drew it never dreamed of. And, to make your says Will Truby, who sat by, will any man
civility the more accomplished, you have ho. pretend to give me laws when I should laugh, noured him with the title of your kinsman, or tell me what I should laugh at?' 'Look which, thoagh derived by the left-hand, he is ye,' answered Humphry Slyboots,
not a little proud of. My brother, for such
you are mightily mistaken ; you may, if you please, Obadiah is, being at present very busy about make wbat noise you will, and nobody can
nothing, has ordered me to return you bis sinbinder an English gentleman from putting his
cere thanks for all these favours; and, as a face into what posture he thinks fit; but iake small token of his gratitude, to communicate my word for it, that motion which you now
to you the following piece of intelligence, which make with your mouth open, and the agitation he thinks, belongs more properly to you, than of your stomach, which you relieve by holding to any others of our modern historians. your sides, is not laughter : laughter is a more
Madonella, who, as it was thought, had weighty thing than you imagine; and I will long since taken her flight towards the ethetell you a secret, you never did laugh in your rial mansions, still walks, it seems, in the relife: and truly I am afraid you never will, ex
gions of mortality, where she has found, by cept you take great care to be cured of those deep reflections on the revolution mentioned in convulsive fits.' Truby left us, and when he yours of June the twenty-third, that where had got two yards from us, 'Well,' said be, early instructions have been wanting to im
you are strange fellows!' and was immedi-print true ideas of things on the tender souls ately taken with another fit.
of those of her sex, they are never after able The Trubies are a well-natured family, wbose to arrive at such a pitch of perfection, as to particular make is such, that they have the be above the laws of matter and motion ; laws same pleasure out of good-will, wbich other' which are considerably enforced by the prinpeople have in that scorn wbich is the cause of ciples usually imbibed in nurseries and boardlaughter: therefore their bursting into the ing schools. To remedy this evil, she has laid figures of men, when laughing, proceeds only the scheme of a college for young damsels ; from a general benevolence they are born with;
where (instead of scissars, needles, and sainpas the Slyboots smile only on the greatest oc
lers) pens, compasses, quadrants, books, macasion of mirth; which difference is caused ra- nuscripts, Greek, Latin, and Hebrew, are to ther from a different structure of their organs, take up their whole time. Only on holidays than that one is less moved than the other the students will, for moderate exercise, be alI know Sourly frets inwardly, when Will Truby lowed to divert themselves with the use of some laughs at him ; but when I meet bim, and he of the lightest and most voluble weapons; and bursts out, I know it is out of his abundant proper care will be taken to give them at least joy to see me, which he expresses by that voci. a superficial tineture of the ancient and moferation which is in others laughter. But Idern Amazonian tactics. Of these military sball defer considering this subject at large, performances, the direction is undertaken by until I come to my treatise of oscitation, laugh- Epicene, t the writer of ‘Memoirs from the ter, and ridicule.
Mediterranean,' who, by the help of some From my own Apartment, September 2.
* Mr. Paul Lorraiuc was at this time the ordinary of The following letter being a panegyric upon Newgate. me for a quality which every man may attain, + Epicene means Mrs. D. Mayley.
artificial poisons conveyed by smells, has within knew, by my skill in astrology, that there wai these few weeks brought many persons of both a great event approaching to our advantage; sexes to an untimely fate; and, what is more but, not having yet taken upon me to tell forsurprising, has, contrary to her profession, with tunes, I thought fit to defer the mention of the the same odours, revived others wbo had long battle near Mons until it happened ; which since been drowned in the whirlpools of Lethe. moderation was no small pain to me: but I Another of the professors is to be a certain should wrong my art, if I concealed that some lady, who is now publishing two of the choicest of my aerial intelligencers had signified to me Saxon novels,* which are said to have been in the news of it even from Paris, before tbe arri. as great repute with the ladies of queen Em- val of lieutenant-colonel Graham in England. ma's court, as the “ Memoirs from the New All nations, as well as persons, have their good Atalantis' are with those of ours. I shall make and evil genius attending them ; but the king. it my business to enquire into the progress of dom of France has three, the last of which is this learned institution, and give you the first neither for it nor against it in reality; but has notice of their ' Philosophical Transactions, for some months past acted an ambiguous part, and Searches after Nature.' Yours, &c. and attempted to save its ward from the in
TOBIAH GREENHAT.' cursion of its powerful enemies, by little subSt. James's Coffee house, September 2.
terfuges and tricks, which a nation is more
than undone when it is reduced to practise. This day we have received advices by the way Thus, instead of giving exact accounts and of Ostend, which give an account of an engage- representations of things, they tell what is inment between the French and the allies, on the deed true, but at the same time a falsehood, eleventh instant, N. S. Marshal Bɔufflers ar- when all the circuinstances come to be related. rived in the enemy's camp on the fifth, and Pacolet was at the court of France on Friday acquainted marshal Villars, that he did not night last, when this genius of that kingdom come in any character, but to receive his com.
came thither in the shape of a post.boy, and mands for the king's service, and communicate cried out, that Mons was relieved, and the duke to bim bis orders upon the present posture of of Marlborough marched. Pacolet was much affairs. On the ninth, both armies advanced astonished at this account, and immediately towards each other, and cannonaded all the changed bis form, and few to the neighbourensuing day, until the close of the evening, and hood of Mons, from whence be found the allies stood on their arms all that night. On the day had really marched; and began to enquire into of battle the cannonading was renewed about the reasons of this sudden change, and half seven: the duke of Argyle had orders to attack feared he had beard a truth of the posture of the wood Sart on the right, which he executed the French affairs, even in their own country. so successfully, that he pierced through it, and Bat, upon diligent enquiry among the aerials won a considerable post. The prince of Orange who attend those regions, and consultation bad the same good fortune in a wood on the with the neighbouring peasants, he was able to left: after which the whole body of the confe- bring me the following account of the motious derates, joined by the forces from the siege, of the armies since they retired from about marched up and engaged the enemy, who were that place, and the action which followed drawn up at some distance from these woods. thereupon. The dispute was very warm for some time;
On Saturday the seventh of September, N. S. but towards noon, the French began to give the confederale army was alarmed
their ground from oue wing to the other ; which camp at Havre, by intelligence, that the enemy advantage being observed by our generals, the
were marching to attack the prince of Hesse. whole army was urged on with fresh vigour, Upon this advice, the duke of Marlborough and in a few hours the day ended with the en
commanded that the truops should immeditire defeat of the enemy.
ately move; which was accordingly performed,
On that day, in the morning, it ap-
peared that, instead of being attacked, the ad.
Hor. 1 o. ii. 36. vanced guard of the detachment, commanded What coast, encircled by the briny Nood,
by the prince of Hesse, had dispersed and taken Boasts not the glorions tribute of our blood.
prisoners a party of the enemy's horse, wbich From my own Apartment, September 5.
Quæ caret ora cruore nostro?
was sent out to observe the march of the conWhen I lately spoke of triumphs, and the
federates. The French moved from Quiverain behaviour of the Romans on those ocoasions, I
on Sunday in the morning, and inclined to the right from thence all that day. The nioth,
• Mrs. Elizabeth Èistub, the lady here meant, is a striking Instance, that no accomplishments, natural or aequireit, could protect their possessor, of whatever merit or sex, from the insults of this libertine wit.
• Lieut. Col. Graham came express with an acconnt of the battle of Malpliquet, in a letter from the duke of Mart borough to Mr. Secre:rry Boyle.
the Monday following, they continued their they drove back the enemy with such bravery, march, until on Tuesday, the tenth, they pos- that the victory began to incline to the allies sessed themselves of the woods of Dour and by the precipitate retreat of the French to Blaugies. As suon as they came into that their works, from whence they were immeground, they threw up intrenchments with all diately beaten. The duke, upon observing this expedition. The allies arrived within few advantage on the right, commanded the earl hours after the enemy was posted; but the of Orkney to march with a sufficient number duke of Marlborough thought fit to wait for of battalions, to force the enemy from their the arrival of the reinforcement which he ex-intrenchments on the plain between the woods pected from the siege of Tournay. Upon no- of Sart and Jansart; which being performed, tice that these troops were so far advanced the horse of the allies marched into the plains, as to be depended on for an action the next covered by their own foot, and forming themday, it was accordingly resolved to engage the selves in good order; the cavalry of the enemy enemy.
attempted no more but to cover the foot in It will be necessary for understanding the their retreat. The allies made so good use of greatness of the action, and the several motions the beginning of the victory, that all their made in the time of the engagement, that you troops moved on with fresh resolution, until bave in your mind, an idea of the place. The they saw the enemy fly before them towards two armies, on the eleventh instant, were both Conde and Maubeuge; after whom, proper drawn up before the woods of Dour, Blaugies, detachments were sent, who made a terrible Sart, and Jansart; the army of the prince of slaughter in the pursuit. Saroy on the right before that of Blaugies ; the In this action, it is said, prince Eugene was forces of Great Britain in the centre on his left; wounded, as also the duke of Aremberg, and those of the high allies, with the wood Sart, as lieutenant-general Webb. The count of Oxenwell as a large interval of plain ground, and stern, colonel Lalo, and sir Thomas Pender. Jansart on the left of the whole. The enemy grass were killed. were intrenched in the paths of the woods, This wonderful success, obtained under all and drawn up behind two intrenchments over the difficulties that could be opposed in the way against them, opposite to the armies of the duke of an army, must be acknowledged as owing of Marlborough and prince Eugene. There to the genius, courage, and conduct of the duke were also two lines intrenched in the plains of Marlborough, a consummate hero ; who has over against the army of the States. This lived not only beyond the time in which Cæsar was the posture of the French and confederate said he was arrived at a satiety of life and forces when the signal was given, and the whole glory; but also been so long the subject of line moved on to the charge.
panegyric, that it is as hard to say any thing The Dutch army, commanded by the prince new in his praise, as tv add to the merit which of Hesse, attacked with the most undaunted requires such eulogiums. oravery; and, after a very obstinate resistance, forced the first intrenchment of the enemy in
Will's Coffee-house, September 5. the plain between Sart and Jansart ; but were The following letter being very explanatory repulsed in their attack on the second, with of the true design of our lucubrations, and at 'great slaughter on both sides. The duke of the same time an excellent model for performMarlborough, while this was transacting on ing it, it is absolutely necessary, for the better the left, had with very much difficulty marched understanding our works, to publish it. through Sart, and beaten the enemy from the several intrenchments they had thrown up in
To Isaac Bickerstaff, Esquire. it. As soon as the duke had marched into the
• SIR, plain, he observed the main body of the enemy Though I have not the honour to be of the drawn up and intrenched in the front of his family of the Staffs, nor related to any branch army. This situation of the enemy, in the of it, yet I applaud your wholesome project of ordinary course of war, is usually thought an making wit useful. advantage hardly to be surmounted; and might, “This is what has been, or should have been, appear impracticable to any, but that army intended by the best comedies. But nobody, which had just overcome greater difficulties. I think, before you, thought of a way to bring The duke commanded the troops to form, but the stage, as it were, into the coffee house, and to forbear charging until further order. In there attack those gentlemen who thought the mean time he visited the left of our line, themselves out of the reach of raillery, by pruwhere the troops of the States had been endently avoiding its chief walks and districts. gaged. The slaughter on this side had been I smile when I see a solid citizen of threevery great, and the Dutch, incapable of making score read the article from Will's coffee-bouse, further progress, except they were suddenly re- and seem to be just beginning to learn bis alinforced. The right of our line was attacked phabet of wit in spectacles ; and to hear the soon after their coming upon the plain; but l attentive table sometimes stop him with per•