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Whate'er men do, or say, or thiuk, or dream, proceed to tell you, that Scipio appears to them, Our motley paper seizes for its theme.
and leads in his prisoner into their presence. .
The Romans, as noble as they were, seemed to White's Chocolate-house, August 22. allow themselves a little too much triumph Poor Cynthio, who does me the honour to over the conquered; therefore, as Scipio aptalk to me now and then very freely of his most proached, they all threw themselves on their secret thoughts, and tells me bis most private knees, except the lover of the lady: but Scipio frailties, owned to me, that though he is in observing in bim a manly sullenness, was the his very prime of life, love had killed all his more inclined to favour bim, and spoke to him desires, and he was now as much to be trusted in these words : with a fine lady as if he were eighty. “That 'It is not the manner of the Romans to use one passion for Clarissa has taken up,' said he, all the power they justly may: we fight not to 'my whole soul; and all my idle fames are ravage countries, or break through the ties of extinguished, as you may observe ordinary fires humanity. I am acquainted with your worth, are often put out by the sunshine.'
and your interest in this lady: fortune has This was a declaration not to be made but made me your master; but I desire to be your npon the highest opinion of a man's sincerity ; friend. This is your wife ; take her, and may yet as much a subject of raillery as such a the gods bless you with ber! But far be it froin speech would be, it is certain, that chastity is Scipio to purchase a loose and momentary a nobler quality, and as much to be valued in pleasure at the rate of making an honest man men as in women. The mighty Scipio, “who,' unhappy.' as Bluffe says in the comedy, 'was a pretty Indibilis's heart was too full to make bim fellow in bis time,' was of this mind, and is any answer ; but he threw himself at the feet celebrated for it by an author of good sense. of the general, and wept aloud. The captive When he lived, wit, and humour, and raillery, lady fell into the same posture, and they both and public success, were at as high a pitch at remained so, until the father burst into the Rome, as at present in England; yet, I believe, following words: 'O divine Scipio! the gods there was no man in those days thought that have given you more than human virtue. O general at all ridiculous in his behaviour in the glorious leader! O wondrous youth! does no following account of him.
that obliged virgin give you, while she prays to Scipio, at four-and-twenty years of age, bad the gods for your prosperity, and thinks you obtained a great victory; and a multitude of sent down from them, raptures, above all the prisoners, of each sex and all conditions, fell transports wbich you could have reaped from into his possession : among others, an agree the possession of her injured person ?' The able virgin in her early bloom and beauty. He temperate Scipio answered him without much had too sensible a spirit to see the most lovely emotion, and saying, 'Father, be a friend to of all objects without being moved with passion : Rome,' retired. An immense sum was offered besides which, there was no obligation of as her ransom; but he sent it to her husband, bonour or virtue to restrain his desires towards and, smiling, said, ' This is a trifle after what one wbo was his by the fortune of war. But I have given him already; but let Indibilis a noble indignation, and a sudden sorrow which know, that chastity at my age is a much more appeared in her countenance, when the con- difficult virtue to practise than generosity.' queror cast bis eyes upon her, raised his curio- I observed Cynthio was very much taken with sity to know her story. He was informed, my narrative ; but told me, this was a virtue that she was a lady of the highest condition in that would bear but a very inconsiderable figure that country, and contracted to Indibilis, a in our days.' However, I took the liberty to man of merit and quality. The generous Ro- say, that we ought not to lose our ideas of man soon placed himself in the condition of things, though we had debauched our true ibat unbappy man, who was to lose so charming relish in our practice ; for, after we have done a bride; and, though a youth, a bachelor, a laughing, solid virtue will keep its place in lover, and a conqueror, immediately resolved | men's opinions; and though custom made it to resign all the invitations of his passion, and not so scandalous as it ought to be, to ensnare the rights of bis power, to restore her to her innocent women, and triumph in the falsehood; destined husband. With this purpose he com- such actions, as we have here related, must be manded her parents and relations, as well as accounted true gallantry, and rise the higher her husband, to attend him at an appointed in our esteem, the farther they are removed time. When they met, and were waiting for the from our imitation.' general, my author frames to himself the different concern of an unbappy father, a de
Will's Coffee-house, August 22. spairing lover, and a tender mother, in the A man would be apt to think, in this laughseverai i ersons who were so related to the cap- ing town, that it were impossible a thing so
But, lur fear of injuring the delicate exploded as speaking hard words should be circumstances with an old translation, I shall I practised by any one that had ever seep good
company; but, as if there were a standard in his profound learning, wished he had been bred our minds as well as bodies, you see very many a scholar, for he did not take the scope of bis just where they were twenty years ago, and discourse. This wise debate, of which we had more they cannot, will not arrive at. Were it much more, made me reflect upon the differnot thus, the noble Martius would not be the ence of their capacities, and wonder that there only man in England whom nobody can un- could be, as it were, a diversity in men's genius derstand, though he talks more than any man for nonsense; that one should bluster, while else.
another crept, in absurdities. Martius moves Will Dactyle the epigrammatist, Jack like a blind man, lifting bis legs higher than Comma the grammarian, Nick Crosse-grain the ordinary way of stepping; and Comma, who writes anagrams, and myself, made a like one who is only short-sighted, picking his pretty company at a corner of this room; and way when he should be marching on. Want entered very peaceably upon a subject fit enough of learning makes Martius a brisk entertaining for us, which was, the examination of the force fool, and gives him a full scope; but that of the particle Fur, when Martins joined us. which Comma has, and calls learning, makes He, being well known to us all, asked “what him diffident, and curbs his natural misunderwe were upon? for he had a mind to consum- standing to the great loss of the men of raillery. mate the happiness of the day, which bad been this conversation confirmed me in the opispent among the stars of the first magnitude nion, that learning usually does but improve in among the men of letters; and, therefore, to us wbat nature endowed us with. He tbat put a period to it as he had commenced it, he wants good sense is unhappy in having learnshould be glad to be allowed to participate of ing, for he has thereby only more ways of exthe pleasure of our society.' I told him the posing bimself; and he that has sense knows subject. Faith, gentlemen,' said Martius, that learning is not knowledge, but rather the 'your subject is humblo ; and if you will give art of using it. me leave to elevate the conversation, I should humbly offer, that you would enlarge your en. St James's Coffee-house, August 22. quiries to the word For-as-much; for though
We have undoubted intelligence of the de. I take it,' said he,“ to be but one word, yet the feat of the king of Sweden; and that prince, particle Much implying quantity, the particle who for some years had hovered like an apAs similitude, it will be greater, and more proaching tempest, and was looked up at by like ourselves, to treat of For-as-much.' Jack all the nations of Europe, which seemed to Comma is always serious, and answered: 'Mar- expect their fate according to the course he tius, I must take the liberty to say, that you should take, is now, in all probability, an unhave fallen into all this error and profuse man- happy exile, without the common necessaries ner of speech by a certain hurry in your ima. I of life. His czarish majesty treats his prisoners gination, for want of being more exact in the with great gallantry and distinction. Count knowledge of the parts of speech; and it is so
Rhensfeildt has had particular marks of his with all men who have not well studied the majesty's esteem, for luis merit and services to particle for. You have spoken for without his master ; but count Piper, whom his majesty making inference, which is the great use of that believes author of the most violent counsels particle. There is no manter of force in your into which his prince entered, is disarmed, and observation of quantity and similitude in the entertained accordingly. That decisive battle syllables As and Much. But it is ever the
was ended at nine in the morning; and all the fault of men of great wit to be incorrect; Swedish generals dined with the czar that which evil they run into by an indiscreet use of the word for. Consider all the books of should find Muscovy was not unacquainted
very day, and received assurances, that they controversy which have been written, and with the laws of honour and humanity. will engage you will observe, that all the debate lies in this point, Whether they brought in For ip a just manner; or forced it in for No. 59.] Thursday, August 25, 1709. their own use, rather than as understanding the use of the word itself? There is nothing Quicquid agunt homineslike familiar instances : you have heard the
-nostri est farrago libelli. Juv. Sat. 1. 85, 86. story of the Irishman who reading, Money Whate'er men do, or say, or think, or dieam, for live hair, took a lodging, and expected to Our motley paper seizes for its theme. be paid for living at that house. If this man had known, For was in that place of a quite
White s Chocolate-house, sugust 24. different signification from the particle To, he Æsop has gained to bimself an immortal re. could not have fallen into the mistake of taking nown for figuring the manners, desires, pasLive for what the Latins call Vivere, or rathersions, and interests of men, by fables of beasts Habitare.'
and birds. I shall in my future accounts of Martius seemed at a loss; and, admiring our modern heroes and wits, vulgarly called
Sharpers, imitate the method of that delightful moralist; and think I cannot represent those
Will's Coffre-house, August 24. wortbies more naturally than under the shadow The author of the ensuing letter, by bis of a pack of dogs; for this set of men are, like name, and the quotations he makes from the them, made up of Finders, Lurchers, and Set. ancients, seems a sort of spy from the old ters. Some search for the prey, others pursue, world, whom we moderns ought to be careful others take it ; and if it be worth it, they all of offending; therefore, I must be free, and come in at the death, and worry the carcass. own it a fair hit where he takes me, rather It would require a most exact knowledge of the than disoblige him. field and the barbours where the deer lie, to recount all the revolutions in the chace.
“SIR, But I am diverted from the train of my dis
“Having a peculiar humour of desiring to course of the fraternity about this town, by be somewhat the better or wiser for what I letters from Hampstead, which give me an ac- read, I am always uneasy when, in any procount, there is a late institution there, under found writer, for I read no others, I happen to the name of a Raffling-shop; which is, it seems, meet with what I cannot understand. Wheu secretly supported by a person who is a deep this falls out it is a great grievance to me that practitioner in the law, and out of tenderness I am not able to consult the author himself of conscience has, under the name of bis maid about his meaning, for commentators are a Sisly, set up this easier way of conveyancing sect that has little share in my esteem : your and alienating estates from one family to an elaborate writings have, among many others, other. He is so far from having an intelligence this advantage; that their author is still alive, with the rest of the fraternity, that all the and ready, as his extensive charity makes us humbler cheats, who appear there, are out-expect, to explain whatever may be found in faced by the partners in the bank, and driven them too sublime for vulgar understandings. off by the reflection of superior brass. This This, sir, makes me presume to ask you, how notice is given to all the silly faces that pass the Hampstead hero's character could be perthat way, that they may not be decoyed in by rectly new when the last letters came away, the soft allurement of a fine lady, who is the and yet sir John Suckling so well acquainted sign to the pageantry. At the same time, with it sixty years ago ? I hope, sir, you will signior Hawksly, who is the patron of the not take this amiss : 1 can assure you, I have bousehold, is desired to leave off this inter- a profound respect for you, which makes me loping trade, or admit, as he ought to do, the write this with the same disposition with which Knights of the Industry to their share in the Longinus bids us read Homer and Plato. When spoil. But this little matter is only by way of in reading, says he, any of those celebrated audigression. Therefore, to return to our wortbies. thors, we meet with a passage to wbich we can
The present race of terriers and hounds not well reconcile our reasons, we ought firmly would starve, were it not for the enchanted to believe, that were those great wits present to Acteon, who bas kept the whole pack for many answer for themselves, we should, to our wonsuccessions of hunting seasons. Actæon bas der, be convinced, that we only are guilty of long tracts of rich soil; but had the misfortune the mistakes that we before attributed to them. in his youth to fall under the power of sorcery, If you think fit to remove the scruple that now and has been ever since, some parts of the torments me, it will be an encouragement to year, a deer, and in some parts a man. While me to settle a frequent correspondence with he a man, such is the force of magic, he no you ; several things falling in my way, which sooner grows to such a bulk and fatness, but would not, perhaps, he altogether foreign to he is again turned into a deer, and hunted un- your purpose, and whereon your thoughts til he is lean ; upon which he returns to his would be very acceptable to your most humble human shape. Many arts have been tried, and servant, many resolutions taken by Actæon himself, to follow such methods as would break the en- I own this is clean, and Mr. Greenhat has chantment; but all leave hitherto proved in-convinced me that I have writ nonsense, yet effectual. I have therefore, by midnight watch- am I not at all offended at him. ings, and much care, found out, that there is no way to save him from the jaws of his Scimus, et banc veniam petimusqne damasqne vicissim. hounds, but to destroy the pack, which, by asirological prescience, I find I am destined to
I own th' indulgence— Sach I give and take. perform. For which end, I have sent out my familiar, to bring me a list of all the places This is the true art of raillery, when a man where they are barboured, that I may know turós another into ridicule, and shows at the where to sound my born, and bring them to- same time he is in good humour, and not urged gether, and take an account of their baunts on by malice against the person he raties. and their marks, against another opportunity. Obadiah Greenbat has hit this very well : for
Hor. Ars Poet. ver, xi.
to make an apology to Isaac Bickerstaff, an late Partridge, who still denies bis death. I
St. James's Coffee-house, August 24.
mines, and levelled the earth which was taken I have not known, and I am now past my out of them. The next day, at eight in the grand climacteric, being sixty-four years of age, morning, when the French observed we were according to my way of life; or, rather, if you relieving our trenches, they sprung a larger will allow punning in an old gentleman, ac- mine than any they had fired during the siege, cording to my way of pastime; I say, as old as which killed only four private centinels. The I am, I have not been acquainted with many ensuing night, we had three men and two of the Greenhats. There is indeed one Zede- officers killed, as also, seven men wounded. kiah Greenhat, who is lucky also in his way. Between the twenty-fourth and twenty-fifth, He has a very agreeable manner; for when he we repaired some works which the enemy bad has a mind thoroughly to correct a man, he ruined. On the next day, some of the enemy's never takes from him any thing, but he allows magazines blew up; and it is thought they him something for it; or else he blames him were destroyed on purpose by some of their for things whereiu he is not defective, as well as men, who are impatient of the bardships of fur matters wherein he is. This makes a weak the present service. There happened nothing man believe he is in jest in the whole. The remarkable for two or three days following. other day he told Beau Prim, who is thought A deserter who came out of the citadel on the impotent, 'that his mistress had declared she twenty-seventh, says the garrison is brought would not have him, because he was a sloven, to the utmost necessity; that their bread and and bad committed a rape.' The beau bit at water are both very bad: and that they were the banter, and said very gravely, 'he thought reduced to eat horse-flesh. The manner of to be clean was as much as was necessary; fighting in this siege has discovered a gallantry and that as to the rape, he wondered by what in our men unknown to former ages; their witchcraft that should come to her ears ; but meeting with adverse parties under ground, it bad indeed cost him a hundred pounds to where every step is taken with apprehensions hush the affair.'
of being blown up with mines below them, or The Greenhats are a family with small voices crushed by the fall of the earth above them, and short arms, therefore they have power and all this acted in darkness, has something with none but their friends : they never call in it more terrible than ever is met with in any after those who run away from them, or pre- other part of a soldier's duty. However, this tend to take hold of you if you resist. But it is performed with great cheerfulness. In otber bas been remarkable, that all who have shunned parts of the war we have also good prospects; their company, or not listened to them, have count Thaun has taken Annecy, and the count fallen into the hands of such as have knocked de Merci marched into Franche Compte, while out their brains, or broken their bones. I have his electoral lighness is much superior in looked over our pedigree upon the receipt of number to monsieur d'Harcourt ; so that both this epistle, and find the Greenhats are a-kin on the side of Savoy and Germany, we have reato the Staffs. They descend from Maudlin, son to expect, very suddenly, some great event. the left-handed wife of Nebemiah Bickerstaff, in the reign of Harry the Second. And No. 60.] Suturday, August 27, 1709. it is remarkable, that they are all left-handed, and have always been very expert at single
Quicquid agunt homines
--nostri est farrago libelli. Juv. Sat. i. 85, En rapier. A man must be very much used to
Whate'er men do, or gay, or think, or dream, their play to know how to defend himself; for
Ons motley paper seizes for its theme. their posture is so different from that of the right-handed, that you run upon their swords
White's Chocolate-house, August 26. if you push forward : and they are in with you, To proceed regularly in the history of my if you offer to fall back without keeping your Worthies, I ought to give an account of what guard.
bas passed from day to day in this place; but a There have been, also, letters lately sent to young fellow of my acquaintance has so lately me, which relate to other people : among the been rescued out of the hands of the Knights rest, some whom I have heretofore declared to of the Industry, that I rather choose to relate be so, are deceased. I must not, therefore, the manner of his escape from them, and the break through rules so far as to speak ill of uncommon way which was used to reclaim the dead. This maxim extends to all but the him, than to go on in my intended diary.
You are to know then, that Tom Wildair is The old gentleman took no manner of nua student of the Inner Temple, and has spent tice of the reeeipt of his letter ; but sent bim his time, since he left the university for that another order for three thousand pounds more. place, in the common diversions of men of His amazement on this second letter was unfashion; that is to say, in whoring, drinking, speakable. He immediately double-locked his and gaming. The two former vices he had door, and sat down carefully to reading and from his father; but was led into the last by comparing both his orders. After he had read the conversation of a partizan of the Myrmi. them until he was half mad, he walked six or dons who had chambers near him. His allow- seven turns in his chamber, then opens his ance from his father was a very plentiful une door, then locks it again; and, to examine for a man of sense, but as scanty for a modern thoroughly this matter, he locks his door again, five gentleman. His frequent losses bad re- puts his table and chairs against it; then goes duced him to so necessitous a condition, that into his closet, and locking himself in, read his lodgings were always haunted by impatient his notes over again about nineteen times, creditors ; and all his thoughts employed in which did but increase his astonishment. Soon contriving low methods to support himself in after, he began to recollect many stories be a way of life from which he knew not how to had formerly heard of persons, who had been retreat, and in which he wanted means to pro possessed with imaginations and appearances ceed. There is never wanting some good which had no foundation in nature, but bad natured person to send a man an account of been taken with sudden madness in the midst what he has no miod to hear ; therefore many of a seeming clear and untainted reason. This epistles were conveyed to the father of this made him very gravely conclude he was out of extravagant, to inform bim of the company, bis wits ; and, with a design to compose bimthe pleasures, the distresses, and entertain self, he immediately betakes him to his nightments, in which his son passed his time. The cap, with a resolution to sleep himself into bis old fellow received these advices with all the former poverty and senses. To bed therefore pain of a parent, but frequently consulted bis he goes at noon-day ; but soon rose again, and pillow, to know how to behave himself on such resolved to visit sir Tristram upon this occaimportant occasions, as the welfare of his son, sion. He did so, and dined with the knight, and the safety of Lis fortune. After many expecting he would mention some advice from agitations of mind, he reflected, that necessity his father about paying him money; but no was the usual snare which made men fall into such thing being said, 'Look you, sir Trismeanness, and that a liberal fortune generally tram,' said he, ‘ you are to know, that an af. made a liberal and honest mind; he resolved, fair has happened, which—' 'Look you,' says therefore, to save him from his ruin, by giving Tristram, ‘ I know Mr. Wildair, you are going him opportunities of tasting what it is to be to desire me to advance; but the late call of at ease, and inclosed to him the following order the bavk, where I have not yet made my last upon sir Tristram Cash.
payment, has obliged me—' Tom interrupted bim, by showing him the bill of a thousand
pounds. When he had looked at it for a con'Pray pay to Mr. Thomas Wildair, or order, venient time, and as often surveyed Tom's looks the sum of one thousand pounds, and place it and countenance ; ' Look you, Mr. Wildair, to the account of
a thousand pounds~' Before he could proceed, he shows him the order for three thousand
Sir Tristram examined the orders at Tom was so astonisbed with the receipt of the light, and finding at the writing the name, this order, that though he knew it to be his there was a certain stroke in one letter, which father's hand, and that he had always large the father and he had agreed should be to such sums at sir Tristram's; yet a thousand pounds directions as he desired might be more imme was a trust of which bis conduct had always diately honoured, he forthwith pays the money. made him appear so little capable, that be The possession of four thousand pounds gave kept bis note by him, until he writ to his fa- my young gentleman a new train of thoughts: ther the following letter :
he began to reflect upon his birth, the great
expectations he was born to, and the unsuitable: • HONOURED FATHER,
ways he had long pursued. Instead of that 'I have received an order under your band unthinking creature he was before, he is now for a thousand pounds, in words at length; provident, generous, and discreet. The father and I think I could swear it is your own hand. and son have an exact and regular corresponI have looked it over and over twenty thousand dence, with mutual and unreserved confidence times. There is in plain letters, T',h,0,0,s,a,n,d ; in each other. The son looks upon his father and after it, the letters P,0,0,n,d,s. I have it as the best tenant he could have in the country, still by me, and shall, I believe, continue read- and the father finds the son the most sale ng it until I hear from you.'
banker he could have in the city.