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CONJECTURED

By gazing on a piece of glass,

Wherefore 'twas thought good
So, while the ladies view'd his brighter eyes, To add Honeywood;
And smoother polish'd face,

But when they came to trial,
Their gentie hearts, alas! were taken by surprise. Each one prov'd a fool,

Yet three knaves in the whole,
Never did bold knight, to relieve

And that made up a pair-royal.
Distressed dames, such dreadful feats achieve,
As feeble damsels, for his sake,
Would have been proud to undertake;
And, bravely ambitious to redeem

A BALLAD IN TWO PARTS,
The world's loss and their own,
Strove who should bave the honour to lay down

TO BE ON OLIVER CROMWELL-
And change a life with him;
But, finding all their hopes in vain

PART I.
To move his fixt determin'd fate,
Their life itself began to hate,

Draw near, good people all, draw near,
As if it were an infamy

And hearken to my ditty ; To live when he was doom'd to die;

A stranger thing Made loud appeals and moans,

Than this I sing
To less hard-hearted grates and stones;

Came never to this city.
Came, swell'd with sighs, and drown'd in tears,
To vield themselves his fellow-sufferers,

Had you but seen this monster,

You would not give a farthing And follow'd bim, like prisoners of war,

For the lions in the grate,
Chain'd to the lofty wheels of his triumphant car.

Nor the mountain-cat,
Nor the bears in Paris-garden.

You would defy the pageants
A BALLAD UPON THE PARLIAMENT, Are borne before the mayor ;

The strangest shape
WHICH DELIBERATED ABOUT MAKING

You e'er did gape
OLIVER KING'.

Upon at Bart'lmy fair!
As close as a goose

His face is round and decent, Sat the parliament-house,

As is your dish or platter, To hatch the royal gull;

On which there grows After much fiddle-faddle,

A thing like a nose, The egg proved addle,

But, indeed, it is no such matter. And Oliver came forth Nol.

On both sides of th' aforesaid Yet old queen Madge,

Are eyes, but they 're not matches, Though things do not fadge,

On which there are Will serve to be queen of a May-pole;

To be seen two fair Two princes of Wales,

And large well-grown mustaches. For Whitsun-ales,

Now this with adıniration And her grace Maid-Marion Clay-pole.

Does all beholders strike, In a robe of cow-hide

That a beard should grow Sat yesty Pride,

Upon a thing's brow, With his dagger and his sling;

Did ye ever see the like? He was the pertinent'st peer

He has no scull, 'tis well known Of all that were there,

To thousands of beholders; T advise with such a king.

Nothing but a skin A great philosopher

Does keep his brains in Had a goose for his lover,

From running about his shoulders. That follow'd him day and night :

On both sides of his noddle If it be a true story,

Are straps o'th' very same leather ; Or but an allegory,

Ears are imply'd, It may be both ways right.

But they 're mere hide, Strickland and his son,

Or morsels of tripe, choose ye whether. Both cast into one,

Between these two extendeth Were meant for a single baron;

A slit from ear to ear, But when they came to sit,

That every hour There was not wit

Gapes to devour Enough in them both to serve for one.

The sowce that grows so near.

• This ballad refers to the parliament, as it was he, out of fear of some republican zealots in his called, which deliberated atont making Oliver party, refused to accept, and contented himself king, and petitioned him to aceept the title; which with the power, under the name of Protector.

Beneath, a tuft of bristles,

And with her charms and ointments As rough as a frize jerkin;

She made him tame as a spaniel ; If it had been a beard,

For she us'd to ride "Twould have serv'd a herd

On his back astride, Of goats, that are of his near kin.

Nor did he do her any ill. Within, a set of grinders

But, to the admiration Most sharp and keen, corroding

Of all both far and near, Your iron and brass

He hath been shown As easy as

In every town, That you would do a pudding.

And eke in every shire. But the strangest thing of all is,

And now, at length, he 's brought Upon his rump there groweth

Unto fair London city, A great long tail,

Where in Fleet-street That useth to trail

All those may see 't
Upon the ground as he goeth.

That will not believe my ditty.
God save the king and parliament,
And eke the prince's highness,

And quickly send
PART II.

The wars an end,

As here my song has-Finis.
This monster was begotten
Upon one of the witches,
B' an imp that came to her,

Like a man, to woo her,
With black doublet and breeches.

MISCELLANEOUS THOUGHTS. When he was whelp'd, for certain,

All men's intrigues and projects tend, In divers several countries

By several courses, to one end ; The hogs and swine

To compass, by the properest shows, Did grunt and whine,

Whatever their designs propose ; And the ravens croak'd upon trees.

And that which owns the fairest pretext The winds did blow, the thunder

Is often found the indirect'st. And lightning loud did rumble;

Hence 'tis that hypocrites still paint The dogs did howl,

Much fairer than the real saint, The hollow tree in th' owl

And knaves appear more just and true 'Tis a good horse that ne'er stumbled.

Than honest men, that make less shew: As soon as he was brought forth,

The dullest idiots in disguise At the midwife's throat he flew,

Appear more knowing than the wise ; And threw the pap

Illiterate dunces, undiscern'd, Down in her lap;

Pass on the rabble for the learn'd; They say 'tis very true.

And cowards, that can damn and rant,

Pass muster for the valiant: And up the walls he clamber'd,

For he, that has but impudence, With nails most sharp and keen,

To all things has a just pretence, The prints whereof,

And, put among his wants but shame, ['th' boards and roof,

To all the world may lay his claim.
Are yet for to be seen.
And out o'th' top o'th' chimney

How various and innumerable
He vanisl’d, seen of none;

Are those who live upon the rabble ! For they did wink,

'Tis they maintain the church and state, Yet by the stink

Employ the priest and magistrate; Knew which way he was gone.

Bear all the charge of government,

And pay the public fines and rent; The country round about there

Defray all taxes and excises, Became like to a wildern

And impositions of all prices; -ness; for the sight

Bear all th' expense of peace and war, Of him did fright

And pay the pulpit and the bar; Away men, women, and children.

Maintain all churches and religions, Long did he there continue,

And give their pastors exhibitions ;

And those who have the greatest flocks And all those parts much harmed, Till a wise-woman, which

Are primitive and orthodox; Some call a white witch,

Support all schismatics and sects,

And pay them for tormenting texts; Him into a hogsty charmed.

Take all their doctrines off their hands, There, when she had him shut fast,

And pay them in good rents and lands; With brimstone and with nitre,

Discharge all costly offices, She sing'd the claws

The doctor's and the lawyer's fees, Of his left paws,

The hangman's wages, and the scores With tip of his tail, and his right ear.

Of caterpillar bawds and whores;

Discharge all damages and costs

And therefore those are commonly the learned'st Of knights and squires of the Post;

That only study between jest and earnest : All statesmen, cutpurses, and padders,

For, when the end of learning 's to pursue And pay for all their ropes and ladders;

And trace the subtle steps of false and true, All pettifoggers, and all sorts

They ne'er consider how they 're to apply, Of markets, churches, and of courts;

But only listen to the noise and cry, All sums of money paid or spent,

And are so much delighted with the chase,
With all the charges incident,

They never mind the taking of their preys.
Laid out, or thrown away, or given
To purchase this world, Hell, or Heaven.

More proselytes and converts use t'accrue

To false persuasions than the right and true; SHOULD once the world resolve t'abolish

For errour and mistake are infinite, All that 's ridiculous and foolish,

But truth has but one way to be i’ th' right; It would have nothing left to do,

As numbers may ť infinity be grown,
To apply in jest or earnest to,

But never be reduc'd to less than one.
No business of importance, play,
Or state, to pass its time away.

All wit and fancy, like a diamond,

The more exact and curious 'tis ground,
Toe world would be more just, if truth and lies, Is forc'd for every carat to abate
And right and wrong, did bear an equal price; As much in value as it wants in weight.
But, since impostors are so highly rais'd,
And faith and justice equally debas'd,

The great St. Lewis, king of France,
Fev men have tempers, for such paltry gains, Fighting against Mahometans,
Tundu themselves with drudgery and pains. In Egypt, in the holy war,

Was routed and made prisoner:
The sottish world without distinction looks The sultan then, into whose hands
On all that passes on th' account of books; He and his army fell, demands
And, when there are two scholars that within A thousand weight of gold, to free
The species only hardly are a-kin,

And set them all at liberty.
The world will pass for men of equal knowledge, The king pays down one half o'th' nail,
If equally they 've loiter'd in a college.

And for the other offers bail,

The pyx, ani in 't the encharist,
Critics are like a kind of fies, that breed The body of our Saviour Christ.
In wild fig-trees, and, when they're grown up, feed The Turk consider'd, and allow'd
l'pon the raw fruit of the nobler kind,

The king's security for good :
And, by their nibbling on the outward rind, Such credit had the Christian zeal,
Open the pores, and make way for the Sun in those days, with an infidel,
To ripen it sooner than he would have done. That will not pass for two-pence now,

Among themselves, 'tis grown so low.
As all fanatics preach, so all men write,
Out of the strength of gifts, and inward light, Those that go up hill use to bow
In spite of art; as horses thorough pac'd

Their bodies forward, and stoop low,
Were never taught, and therefore go more fast. To poise themselves, and sometimes creep,

When th' way is difficult and steep:
Ix all mistakes the strict and regular

So those at court, that do address Are found to be the desperat'st ways to err,

By low ignoble offices,
And worst to be avoided; as a wound

Can stoop to any thing that's base,
Is said to be the harder cur'd that 's round; To wriggle into trust and grace;
For errous and mistake, the less they appear, Are like to rise to greatness sooner
In th' end are found to be the dangerouser; Than those that go by worth and honour.
As no man minds those clocks that use to go
Apparently too over-fast or slow.

All acts of grace, and pardon, and oblivion,

Are meant of services that are forgiven, The truest characters of ignorance

And not of crimes delinquents have committed, Are vanity, and pride, and arrogance;

And rather been rewarded than acquitted. As blind men use to bear their noses higher Than those that have tijeir eyes and sight entire. Lions are kings of beasts, and yet their power

Is not to rule and gover, but devour: The metaphysic 's but a puppet motion, Such savage kings all tyrants are, and they That goes with screws, the notion of a notion; No better than mere beasts that do obey. The copy of a copy, and lame draught, l'nnatwally taken from a thought;

Nothing's more dull and negligent That counterfeits all pantomimic tricks,

Than an old lazy government, And turns the eyes like an old crucifix;

That knows no interest of state,
That counterchanges whatsoe'er it calls

But such as serves a present strait,
B' another name, and makes it true or false; And, to patch up, or shift, will close,
Turns truth to falsehood, falschood into třuth, Or break alike, with friends or foes;
By virtue of the Babylonian's tooth.

That runs behind hand, and has spent

Its credit to the last extent;
Tis not the art of schools to understand, And, the first time 'tis at a loss,
Bat make things hard, instead of being explain'd; | Has not one true friend nor one cross.

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The Devil was the first o'th' name

Transported with a false caress From whom the race of rebels came,

Of unacquainted happiness, Who was the first bold undertaker

Lost to humanity and sense,
Of bearing arms against his Maker,

Have fall'n as low as insolence.
And, though miscarrying in th' event,
Was never yet known to repent,

INNOCENCE is a defence
Though tumbled from the top of bliss

For nothing else but patience; Down to the bottomless abyss;

'Twill not bear out the blows of Fate, A property which, from their prince,

Nor fence against the tricks of State; The family owns ever since,

Nor from th' oppression of the laws And therefore ne'er repent the evil

Protect the plain'st and justest cause; They do or suffer, like the Devil.

Nor keep unspotted a good name

Against the obloquies of Fame; The worst of rebels never arm

Feeble as Patience, and as soon, To do their king or country harm;

By being blown upon, undone. But draw their swords to do them good,

As beasts are hunted for their furs, As doctors cure by letting blood.

Men for their virtues fare the worse.

No seared conscience is so fell
As that which has been burnt with zeal;
For Christian charity 's as well
A great impediment to zeal,
As zeal a pestilent disease
To Christian charity and peace.

As thistles wear the softest down,
To hide their prickles till they ’re grown,
And then declare themselves, and tear
Whatever ventures to come near;
So a smooth knave does greater feats
Than one that idly rails and threats,
And all the mischief that he meant
Does, like a rattlesnake, prevent.

Who doth not know with what fierce rage
Opinions, true or false, engage;
And, 'cause they govern all mankind,
Like the blind's leading of the blind,
All claim an equal interest,
And free dominion o'er the rest ?
And, as one shield, that fell from Heaven,
Was counterfeited by eleven,
The better to secure the fate
And lasting empire of a state,
The false are numerous, and the true,
That only have the right, but few.
Hence fools, that understand them least,
Are still the fiercest in contest;
Unsight, unseen, espouse a side
At random, like a prince's bride,
To damn their souls, and swear and lie for,
And at a venture live and die for.

Man is supreme lord and master
Of his own ruin and disaster;
Controls his fate, but nothing less
In ordering his own happiness;
For all his care and providence
Is too, too feeble a defence,
To render it secure and certain
Against the injuries of Fortune;
And oft, in spite of all his wit,
Is lost with one unlucky hit,
And ruin'd with a circumstance,
And mere punctilio, of chance.

Opinion governs all mankind,
Like the blind's leading of the blind;
For he that has no eyes in 's head,
Must be by a dog glad to be led ;
And no beasts have so little in them
As that inhuman brute, Opinion ;
"Tis an infectious pestilence,
The tokens upon wit and sense,
That with a venomous contagion
Invades the sick imagination;
And, when it seizes any part,
It strikes the poison to the beart.
This men of one another catch
By contact, as the humours match;
And nothing 's so perverse in nature
As a profound opiniator.

Dame Fortune, some men's tutelar,
Takes charge of them, without their care;
Does all their drudgery and work,
Like fairies, for them in the dark;
Conducts them blindfold, and advances
The naturals by blinder chances;
While others by desert or wit
Could never make the matter hit,
But still, the better they deserve,
Are but the abler thought to starve.

Great wits have only been preferr'd,
In princes' trains to be interr'd,
And, when they cost them nothing, plac'd
Among their followers not the last;
But while they liv'd were far enough
From all admittances kept off.

AUTHORITY intoxicates,
And makes mere sots of magistrates;
The fumes of it invade the brain,
And make men giddy, proud, and raio;
By this the fool commands the wise,
The noble with the base complies,
The sot assumes the rule of wit,
And cowards make the base submit.

A GODLY man, that has serv'd out his time
In holiness, inay set up any crime;
As scholars, when they've taken their degrees
May set up any faculty they please.

As geld, that 's proof against th' assay,
Upon the touchstone wears away,
And, having stood the greater test,
Is overmaster'd by the least;
So some men, having stood the bate
And spiteful cruelty of late,

Why should not piety be made,
As well as equity, a trade,

And men get money by devotion,

Which, though they keep no even pace,
As well as making of a motion?

Move true and constant to one place.
B' allow'd to pray upon conditions,
As well as suitors in petitions?

Love is too great a happiness
And in a congregation pray,

For wretched mortals to possess ; No less than chancery, for pay?

For, could it hold inviolate

Against those cruelties of Fate, A TEACHER's doctrine, and his proof,

Which all felicities below Is all his province, and enough;

By rigid laws are subject to, But is no more concernd in use,

It would become a bliss too high Than shoemakers to wear all shoes.

For perishing mortality,

Translate to Earth the joys above; The soberest saints are more stiff-necked For nothing goes to Heaven but love. Than th' hottest-headed of the wicked.

All wild but generous creatures live, of course, HYPOCRISY will serve as well

As if they had agreed for better or worse : To propagate a church, as zeal;

The lion's constant to his only miss, As persecution and promotion

And never leaves his faithful lioness; Do equally advance devotion:

And she as chaste and true to him again, So round white stones will serve, they say,

As virtuous ladies use to be to men. As well as eggs, to make hens lay.

The docile and ingenuous elephant

This own and only female is gallant ; The greatest saints and sinners have been made

And she as true and constant to his bed, Df proselytes of one another's trade.

That first enjoy'd her single maidenhead; Your wise and cautious consciences

But paltry rams, and bulls, and goats, and boars, Are free to take what course they please;

Are never satisfy'd with new amours; Have plenary indulgence to dispose,

As all poltroons with us delight to range, At pleasure, of the strictest vows,

And, though but for the worst of all, to change. And challenge Heaven, they made them to, To rouch and witness what they do;

The souls of women are so small, And, when they prove averse and loth,

That some believe they 've done at all; Yet for convenience take an oath,

Or if they have, like cripples, still Not only can dispense, but make it

They 've but one faculty, the will; A greater sin to keep than take it;

The other two are quite laid by Can bind and loose all sorts of sin,

To make up one great tyranny ; And only keeps the keys within;

And, though their passions have most power, Has no superior to control,

They are, like Turks, but slaves the more But what itself sets o'er the soul;

To th' absolute will, that with a breath And, when it is enjoin'd t' obey,

Has sovereign power of life and death, Is but confin'd, and keeps the key;

And, as its little interests move, Can walk invisible, and where,

Can turn them all to hate or love; And when, and how, it will appear:

For nothing, in a moment, turn Can turn itself into disguises

To frantic love, disdain, and scorn; Of all sorts, for all sorts of vices;

And make that love degenerate Can transubstantiate, metamorphose,

T'as great extremity of hate, And charm whole herds of beasts, like Orpheus;

And hate again, and scorn, and piques,
Make woods, and tenements, and lands,

To flames, and raptures, and love-tricks.
Obey and follow its commands,
And settle on a new freehold,

All sorts of votaries, that profess
As Marely-bill remov'd of old ;

To bind themselves apprentices Make mountains move with greater force

To Heaven, abjure, with solein vows, Than faith, to new proprietors;

Not Cut and Long-tail, but a spouse, And perjures, to secure th' enjoyments

As th' worst of all impediments
Of public charges and employments:

To hinder their devout intents.
Por true and faithful, good and just,
Are but preparatives to trust;

Most virgins marry, just as nuns
The guilt and ornament of things,

The same thing the same way renounce; And not their movements, wheels, and springs.

Before they 've wit to understand

The bold attempt they take in hand; All love, at first, like generous wine,

Or, baving staid and lost their tides,
Ferments and frets until 'tis fine;

Are out of season grown for brides.
But, when 'tis settled on the lee,
And from th' impurer matter free,

The credit of the marriage-bed
Becomes the richer still the older,

Has been so loosely husbanded, And proves the pleasanter the colder.

Men only deal for ready money,

And women, separate alimony; The motions of the Earth, or Sun,

And ladies-errant, for debauching, (The Lord knows which) that turn, or run,

Have better terms, and equal caution; Are both perform'd by fits and starts,

And, for their journeywork and pains, And so are those of lovers' hearts,

The cbarwomen clear greater gains.

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