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By gazing on a piece of glass,
Wherefore 'twas thought good
But when they came to trial,
Yet three knaves in the whole,
And that made up a pair-royal.
A BALLAD IN TWO PARTS,
TO BE ON OLIVER CROMWELL-
Draw near, good people all, draw near,
And hearken to my ditty ; To live when he was doom'd to die;
A stranger thing Made loud appeals and moans,
Than this I sing
Came never to this city.
Had you but seen this monster,
You would not give a farthing And follow'd bim, like prisoners of war,
For the lions in the grate,
Nor the mountain-cat,
You would defy the pageants
The strangest shape
You e'er did gape
Upon at Bart'lmy fair!
His face is round and decent, Sat the parliament-house,
As is your dish or platter, To hatch the royal gull;
On which there grows After much fiddle-faddle,
A thing like a nose, The egg proved addle,
But, indeed, it is no such matter. And Oliver came forth Nol.
On both sides of th' aforesaid Yet old queen Madge,
Are eyes, but they 're not matches, Though things do not fadge,
On which there are Will serve to be queen of a May-pole;
To be seen two fair Two princes of Wales,
And large well-grown mustaches. For Whitsun-ales,
Now this with adıniration And her grace Maid-Marion Clay-pole.
Does all beholders strike, In a robe of cow-hide
That a beard should grow Sat yesty Pride,
Upon a thing's brow, With his dagger and his sling;
Did ye ever see the like? He was the pertinent'st peer
He has no scull, 'tis well known Of all that were there,
To thousands of beholders; T advise with such a king.
Nothing but a skin A great philosopher
Does keep his brains in Had a goose for his lover,
From running about his shoulders. That follow'd him day and night :
On both sides of his noddle If it be a true story,
Are straps o'th' very same leather ; Or but an allegory,
Ears are imply'd, It may be both ways right.
But they 're mere hide, Strickland and his son,
Or morsels of tripe, choose ye whether. Both cast into one,
Between these two extendeth Were meant for a single baron;
A slit from ear to ear, But when they came to sit,
That every hour There was not wit
Gapes to devour Enough in them both to serve for one.
The sowce that grows so near.
• This ballad refers to the parliament, as it was he, out of fear of some republican zealots in his called, which deliberated atont making Oliver party, refused to accept, and contented himself king, and petitioned him to aceept the title; which with the power, under the name of Protector.
Beneath, a tuft of bristles,
And with her charms and ointments As rough as a frize jerkin;
She made him tame as a spaniel ; If it had been a beard,
For she us'd to ride "Twould have serv'd a herd
On his back astride, Of goats, that are of his near kin.
Nor did he do her any ill. Within, a set of grinders
But, to the admiration Most sharp and keen, corroding
Of all both far and near, Your iron and brass
He hath been shown As easy as
In every town, That you would do a pudding.
And eke in every shire. But the strangest thing of all is,
And now, at length, he 's brought Upon his rump there groweth
Unto fair London city, A great long tail,
Where in Fleet-street That useth to trail
All those may see 't
That will not believe my ditty.
And quickly send
The wars an end,
As here my song has-Finis.
Like a man, to woo her,
MISCELLANEOUS THOUGHTS. When he was whelp'd, for certain,
All men's intrigues and projects tend, In divers several countries
By several courses, to one end ; The hogs and swine
To compass, by the properest shows, Did grunt and whine,
Whatever their designs propose ; And the ravens croak'd upon trees.
And that which owns the fairest pretext The winds did blow, the thunder
Is often found the indirect'st. And lightning loud did rumble;
Hence 'tis that hypocrites still paint The dogs did howl,
Much fairer than the real saint, The hollow tree in th' owl
And knaves appear more just and true 'Tis a good horse that ne'er stumbled.
Than honest men, that make less shew: As soon as he was brought forth,
The dullest idiots in disguise At the midwife's throat he flew,
Appear more knowing than the wise ; And threw the pap
Illiterate dunces, undiscern'd, Down in her lap;
Pass on the rabble for the learn'd; They say 'tis very true.
And cowards, that can damn and rant,
Pass muster for the valiant: And up the walls he clamber'd,
For he, that has but impudence, With nails most sharp and keen,
To all things has a just pretence, The prints whereof,
And, put among his wants but shame, ['th' boards and roof,
To all the world may lay his claim.
How various and innumerable
Are those who live upon the rabble ! For they did wink,
'Tis they maintain the church and state, Yet by the stink
Employ the priest and magistrate; Knew which way he was gone.
Bear all the charge of government,
And pay the public fines and rent; The country round about there
Defray all taxes and excises, Became like to a wildern
And impositions of all prices; -ness; for the sight
Bear all th' expense of peace and war, Of him did fright
And pay the pulpit and the bar; Away men, women, and children.
Maintain all churches and religions, Long did he there continue,
And give their pastors exhibitions ;
And those who have the greatest flocks And all those parts much harmed, Till a wise-woman, which
Are primitive and orthodox; Some call a white witch,
Support all schismatics and sects,
And pay them for tormenting texts; Him into a hogsty charmed.
Take all their doctrines off their hands, There, when she had him shut fast,
And pay them in good rents and lands; With brimstone and with nitre,
Discharge all costly offices, She sing'd the claws
The doctor's and the lawyer's fees, Of his left paws,
The hangman's wages, and the scores With tip of his tail, and his right ear.
Of caterpillar bawds and whores;
Discharge all damages and costs
And therefore those are commonly the learned'st Of knights and squires of the Post;
That only study between jest and earnest : All statesmen, cutpurses, and padders,
For, when the end of learning 's to pursue And pay for all their ropes and ladders;
And trace the subtle steps of false and true, All pettifoggers, and all sorts
They ne'er consider how they 're to apply, Of markets, churches, and of courts;
But only listen to the noise and cry, All sums of money paid or spent,
And are so much delighted with the chase,
They never mind the taking of their preys.
More proselytes and converts use t'accrue
To false persuasions than the right and true; SHOULD once the world resolve t'abolish
For errour and mistake are infinite, All that 's ridiculous and foolish,
But truth has but one way to be i’ th' right; It would have nothing left to do,
As numbers may ť infinity be grown,
But never be reduc'd to less than one.
All wit and fancy, like a diamond,
The more exact and curious 'tis ground,
The great St. Lewis, king of France,
Was routed and made prisoner:
And set them all at liberty.
And for the other offers bail,
The pyx, ani in 't the encharist,
The king's security for good :
Among themselves, 'tis grown so low.
Their bodies forward, and stoop low,
When th' way is difficult and steep:
So those at court, that do address Are found to be the desperat'st ways to err,
By low ignoble offices,
Can stoop to any thing that's base,
All acts of grace, and pardon, and oblivion,
Are meant of services that are forgiven, The truest characters of ignorance
And not of crimes delinquents have committed, Are vanity, and pride, and arrogance;
And rather been rewarded than acquitted. As blind men use to bear their noses higher Than those that have tijeir eyes and sight entire. Lions are kings of beasts, and yet their power
Is not to rule and gover, but devour: The metaphysic 's but a puppet motion, Such savage kings all tyrants are, and they That goes with screws, the notion of a notion; No better than mere beasts that do obey. The copy of a copy, and lame draught, l'nnatwally taken from a thought;
Nothing's more dull and negligent That counterfeits all pantomimic tricks,
Than an old lazy government, And turns the eyes like an old crucifix;
That knows no interest of state,
But such as serves a present strait,
That runs behind hand, and has spent
Its credit to the last extent;
The Devil was the first o'th' name
Transported with a false caress From whom the race of rebels came,
Of unacquainted happiness, Who was the first bold undertaker
Lost to humanity and sense,
Have fall'n as low as insolence.
INNOCENCE is a defence
For nothing else but patience; Down to the bottomless abyss;
'Twill not bear out the blows of Fate, A property which, from their prince,
Nor fence against the tricks of State; The family owns ever since,
Nor from th' oppression of the laws And therefore ne'er repent the evil
Protect the plain'st and justest cause; They do or suffer, like the Devil.
Nor keep unspotted a good name
Against the obloquies of Fame; The worst of rebels never arm
Feeble as Patience, and as soon, To do their king or country harm;
By being blown upon, undone. But draw their swords to do them good,
As beasts are hunted for their furs, As doctors cure by letting blood.
Men for their virtues fare the worse.
No seared conscience is so fell
As thistles wear the softest down,
Who doth not know with what fierce rage
Man is supreme lord and master
Opinion governs all mankind,
Dame Fortune, some men's tutelar,
Great wits have only been preferr'd,
A GODLY man, that has serv'd out his time
As geld, that 's proof against th' assay,
Why should not piety be made,
And men get money by devotion,
Which, though they keep no even pace,
Move true and constant to one place.
Love is too great a happiness
For wretched mortals to possess ; No less than chancery, for pay?
For, could it hold inviolate
Against those cruelties of Fate, A TEACHER's doctrine, and his proof,
Which all felicities below Is all his province, and enough;
By rigid laws are subject to, But is no more concernd in use,
It would become a bliss too high Than shoemakers to wear all shoes.
For perishing mortality,
Translate to Earth the joys above; The soberest saints are more stiff-necked For nothing goes to Heaven but love. Than th' hottest-headed of the wicked.
All wild but generous creatures live, of course, HYPOCRISY will serve as well
As if they had agreed for better or worse : To propagate a church, as zeal;
The lion's constant to his only miss, As persecution and promotion
And never leaves his faithful lioness; Do equally advance devotion:
And she as chaste and true to him again, So round white stones will serve, they say,
As virtuous ladies use to be to men. As well as eggs, to make hens lay.
The docile and ingenuous elephant
This own and only female is gallant ; The greatest saints and sinners have been made
And she as true and constant to his bed, Df proselytes of one another's trade.
That first enjoy'd her single maidenhead; Your wise and cautious consciences
But paltry rams, and bulls, and goats, and boars, Are free to take what course they please;
Are never satisfy'd with new amours; Have plenary indulgence to dispose,
As all poltroons with us delight to range, At pleasure, of the strictest vows,
And, though but for the worst of all, to change. And challenge Heaven, they made them to, To rouch and witness what they do;
The souls of women are so small, And, when they prove averse and loth,
That some believe they 've done at all; Yet for convenience take an oath,
Or if they have, like cripples, still Not only can dispense, but make it
They 've but one faculty, the will; A greater sin to keep than take it;
The other two are quite laid by Can bind and loose all sorts of sin,
To make up one great tyranny ; And only keeps the keys within;
And, though their passions have most power, Has no superior to control,
They are, like Turks, but slaves the more But what itself sets o'er the soul;
To th' absolute will, that with a breath And, when it is enjoin'd t' obey,
Has sovereign power of life and death, Is but confin'd, and keeps the key;
And, as its little interests move, Can walk invisible, and where,
Can turn them all to hate or love; And when, and how, it will appear:
For nothing, in a moment, turn Can turn itself into disguises
To frantic love, disdain, and scorn; Of all sorts, for all sorts of vices;
And make that love degenerate Can transubstantiate, metamorphose,
T'as great extremity of hate, And charm whole herds of beasts, like Orpheus;
And hate again, and scorn, and piques,
To flames, and raptures, and love-tricks.
All sorts of votaries, that profess
To bind themselves apprentices Make mountains move with greater force
To Heaven, abjure, with solein vows, Than faith, to new proprietors;
Not Cut and Long-tail, but a spouse, And perjures, to secure th' enjoyments
As th' worst of all impediments
To hinder their devout intents.
Most virgins marry, just as nuns
The same thing the same way renounce; And not their movements, wheels, and springs.
Before they 've wit to understand
The bold attempt they take in hand; All love, at first, like generous wine,
Or, baving staid and lost their tides,
Are out of season grown for brides.
The credit of the marriage-bed
Has been so loosely husbanded, And proves the pleasanter the colder.
Men only deal for ready money,
And women, separate alimony; The motions of the Earth, or Sun,
And ladies-errant, for debauching, (The Lord knows which) that turn, or run,
Have better terms, and equal caution; Are both perform'd by fits and starts,
And, for their journeywork and pains, And so are those of lovers' hearts,
The cbarwomen clear greater gains.