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Por if a brave man, that preserv'd from death When no indictment justly lies,
One citizen, was honour'd with a wreath,

But where the theft will bear a price.
He, that more gallantly got three or four,

For though wit never can be learn'd, In reason must deserve a great deal more.

It may b' assum'd, and own'd, and earn'd, Then, if those glorious worthies of old Rome, And, like our noblest fruits, improv'd, That civiliz'd the world they 'ad overcome, By being transplanted and remov'd; And taught it laws and learning, found this way And, as it bears no certain rate, The best to save their empire from decay,

Nor pays one penny to the state, Why should not these, that borrow all the worth With which it turns no more t' account They bave from them, not take this lesson forth- Than virtue, faith, and merit 's wont; Get children, friends, and honour too, and money,

Is neither moveable nor rent, By prudent managing of matrimony ?

Nor chattle, goods, nor tenement, For, if 'tis honourable by all confest,

Nor was it ever pass'd b' entail, Adultery must be worshipful at least,

Nor settled upon heirs-male ; And these times great, when private men are come Or if it were, like ill-got land, Up to the height and politic of Rome.

Did nerer fall t' a second hand; All by-blows were not only free-born then,

So 'tis no more to be engrossid But, like John Lilburn, free-begotten men;

Than sunshine, or the air enclos'd, Had equal right and privilege with these,

Or to propriety contin'd, That claim by title right of the four seas :

Than th' uncontrol'd and scatter'd wind. For, being in marriage born, it matters not

For why should that which Nature meant After what liturgy they were begot ;

To owe its being to its vent,
And if there be a difference, they have

That has no valne of its own,
Th' advantage of the chance in proving brave, But as it is divulg'd and known,
By being engender'd with more life and force, Is perishable and destroy'd,
Than those begotten the dull way of course. As long as it lies unenjoy'd,
The Chinese place all piety and zeal

Be scanted of that liberal use,
In serving with their wives the commonweal ; Which all mankind is free to choose,
Fix all their hopes of merit and salvation

And idly hoarded where 'twas bred, l'pon their women's supererogation:

Instead of being dispers'd and spread ?
With solernn vows their wives and daughters bind, And, the more lavish and profuse,
Like Eve in Paradise, to all mankind;

'Tis of the nobler general use;
And those that can produce the most gallants, As riots, thongh supply'd by stealth,
Are held the preciousest of all their saints; Are wholesome to the commonwealth,
Wear rosaries about their necks, to con

And men spend freelier what they win, Their exercises of devotion on;

Than what they 'ave freely coming in. That serve them for certificates, to show

The world 's as full of curious wit, With what vast numbers they have had to do: Which those that father never writ, Before they ’re marry'd make a conscience As 'tis of bastards, which the sot T'anit no duty of incontinence;

And cuckold owns, that ne'er begot;
And she, that has been oftenest prostituted, Yet pass as well as if the one
k worthy of the greatest match reputed.

And th’ other by-blow were their own
Bat, when the conquering Tartar went about For why should be that 's impotent
To rout this orthodox religion out,

To judge, and fancy, and invent,
They stood for conscience, and resolv'd to die,

For that impediment be stopt Rather than change the ancient purity

To own, and challenge, and adopt, Of that religion, which their ancestors

At least th' expos'd and fatherless And they had prosper'd in so many years ;

Poor orphans of the pen and press, Vowd to their gods to sacrifice their lives,

Whose parents are obscure, or dead, And die their daughters' martyrs, and their wives', Or in far countries born and bred ? Before they would commit so great a sin

As none but kings have power to raise Against the faith they had been bred up in.

A levy, which the subject pays,
And though they call that tax a loan,
Yet when 'tis gather'd 'tis their own;

So he that 's able to impose
SATIRE UPON PLAGIARIES.

A wit-excise on verse or prose,
Why should the world be so averse

And still, the abler authors are To plagiary privateers,

Can make them pay the greater share, That all men's sense and fancy seize,

Is prince of poets of his time, And make free prize of what they please?

And they his vassals that supply him ; As if, because they buff and swell,

Can judge more justly o' what he takes Like pilferers, full of what they steal,

Than any of the best he makes, Others might equal power assume,

And more impartially conceive To pay them with as hard a doom;

What 's fit to choose, and what to leave. To shut them up, like beasts in pounds,

For men reflect more strictly 'pon For breaking into others' grounds !

The sense of others than their own; Mark them with characters and brands,

And wit, that 's made of wit and sleight, Like other forgers of men's hands;

Is richer than the plain downright: And in effigie hang and draw

As salt, that 's made of salt, 's more fine, The poor delinquents by club-law,

Than when it first came from the brine; VOL VIIL

P

As raw,

And spirits of a nobler nature

Attend her silly lazy pleasure, Drawn from the dull ingredient matter.

Until she chance to be at leisure ; Hence mighty Virgil 's said of old,

When 'tis more easy to steal wit: From dung to have extracted gold;

To clip, and forge, and counterfeit, (As many a lout and silly clown

Is both the business and delight, By his instructions since have done)

Like hunting sports, of those that write And grew more lofty by that means,

For thievery is but one sort, Than by his livery-oats and beans,

The learned say, of hunting sport. When from his carts and country farms

Hence 'tis that some, who set up first, He rose a mighty man at arms;

and wretched, and unverst, To whom th' Heroics ever since

And open'd with a stock as poor Have sworn allegiance, as their prince,

As a healthy beggar with one sore; And faithfully have all in times

That never writ in prose or verse, Observ'd his customs in their rhymes.

But pick'd, or cut it, like a purse, "Twas counted learning once, and wit,

And at the best could but commit To void but what some author writ,

The petty-larceny of wit ; And what men understood by rote,

To whom to write was to purloin, By as implicit sense to quote:

Aud printing but to stamp false coin, Then many a magisterial clerk

Yet, after long and sturdy endeavours Was taught, like singing-birds, i' th' dark,

Of being painful wit-receivers, And understood as much of things,

With gathering rags and scraps of wit, As th' ablest blackbird what it sings;

As paper 's made on which 'tis writ, And yet was honour'd and renown'd

Have gone forth authors, and acquir’d For grave, and solid, and profound.

The right-or wrong-to be admir'd; Then why should those, who pick and choose And, arm'd with confidence, incurrd The best of all the best compose,

The fool's good luck, to be preferrd. And join it by Mosaic art,

For, as a banker can dispose In graceful order, part to part,

Of greater sums he only owes, To make the whole in beauty suit,

Than he who honestly is known Not merit as complete repute

To deal in nothing but his own, As those who, with less art and pains,

So, whosoe'er can take up most,
Can do it with their native brains,

May greatest fame and credit boast.
And make the homespun business fit
As freely with their mother wit;
Since, what by Natnre was deny'd,
By Art and Industry 's supply'd,

SATIRE,
Both which are more our own, and brave,

IN TWO PARTS,
Than all the alms that Nature gave ?

UPON THE IMPERTECTION AND ABUSE OF
For that w' acquire by pains and art
Is only due t'our own desert;

HUMAN LEARNING.
While all th' endowments she confers
Are not so much our own as her's,

PART 1.
That, like good fortune, unawares

It is the noblest act of human reason, Fall not t' onr virtue, but our shares,

To free itself from slavish prepossession, And all we can pretend to merit

Assume the legal right to disengage We do not purchase, but inherit.

From all it had contracted under age, Thus all the great'st inventions, when

And not its ingenuity and wit, They first were found out, were so mean,

To all it was imbued with first, subinit; That th' authors of them are unknown,

Take true or false for better or for worse, As little things they scoru'd to own;

To have or to hold inclifferently of course. Until by men of nobler thought

For Custom, though but usher of the school, Th' were to their full perfection brought.

Where Nature breeds the boily and the soul, This proves that Wit does but rough-hew,

Usurps a greater power and interest Leaves Art to polish and review;

O'er man, the heir of Reason, than brute beast, And that a wit at second-hand

That by two different instincts is led, Has greatest interest and command;

Born to the one, and to the other bred, For to improve, dispose, and judge,

And trains him up with rudiments more false Is nobler than t'inveut and drudge.

Than Nature does her stupid animals; Invention's humorous and nice,

And that's one reason why more care 's bestow'd And never at command applies;

Upon the body, than the soul 's allow'd, Disdains t'obey the proudest wit,

That is not found to understand and know Unless it chance tbe in the fit;

So subtly, as the body 's found to grow. (Like prophecy, that can presage

Though children, without study, pains, or thought, Successes of the latest age,

Are languages and vulgar notions taught, Yet is not able to tell when

Improve their natural talents without care, It next shall prophesy again)

And apprehend before they are aware, Makes all her suitors course and wait,

Yet as all strangers never leave the tones Like a proud minister of state,

They have been us'd of children to pronounce, And, when she 's serious, in some freak,

So most men's reason never can outgrow Extravagant, and vain, and weak,

The discipline it first receiv'd to know,

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But renders words they first began to con, And th’activ'st fancies share as loose alloys, The end of all that 's after to be known,

For want of equal weight to counterpoise. And sets the help of education back,

But when those great conveniences meet, Worse than, without it, man could ever lack; Of equal judgment, industry, and wit, Who, therefore, finds the artificial'st fools

The one but strives the other to divert, Have not been chang'di'th' cradle, but the schools, While Fate and Custom in the feud take part, Where errour, pedantry, and affectation,

And scholars, by preposterous over-doing, Run them behind-hand with their education, And under-judging, all their projects ruin; And all alike are taught poetic rage,

Who, though the understanding of mankind When hardly one 's fit for it in an age.

Within so strait a compass is confin'd,
No sooner are the organs of the brain

Disdain the limits Nature sets to bound
Quick to receive, and stedfast to retain,

The wit of man, and vainly rove beyond. Best koowledges, but all 's laid out upon

The bravest soldiers scorn, until they ’re yot Retrieving of the curse of Babylon ;

Close to the enemy, to make a shot; To make confounded languages restore

Yet great philosophers delight to stretch A greater drudgery than it barr'd before :

Their talents most at things beyond their reach, And therefore those imported from the East, And proudly think ľunriddle every cause Where first they were incurr'd, are held the best, That Nature uses, by their own by-laws; Although convey'd in worse Arabian pothooks When 'tis not only impertinent, but rude, Than gifted tradesmen scratch in sermon note books; Where she denies admission, to intrude; Are really but pains and labour lost,

And all their industry is but to err, And not worth half the drudgery they cost, Unless they have free quarantine from her; Unless, like rarities, as they 've been brought Whence 'tis the world the less has understood, From foreign climates, and as dearly bought, By striving to know more than 'tis allow'd. When those, who had no other but their own, For Adam, with the loss of Paradise, Have all succeeding eloquence outdone :

Bought knowledge at too desperate a price, As men that wink with one eye see more true, And ever since that miserable fate And take their aimh much better, than with two: Learning did never cost an easier rate; For, the inore languages a man can speak, For though the most divine and sovereign good His talent has but sprung the greater leak; That Nature has upon mankind bestow'd, And, for the industry he ’as spent upon 't,

Yet it has prov'd a greater hinderance Must full as much some other way discount. To th' interest of truth than ignorance, 'The Hebrew, Chaldee, and the Syriac,

And therefore never bore so bigh a value, Do, like their letters, set men's reason back, As when 'twas low, contemptible, and shallow; And turn their wits, that strive to understand it, Had academies, schools, and colleges, (Like those that write the characters) left-handed : Endow'd for its improvement and increase ; Yet he, that is but able to express

With pomp and show was introduc'd with maces, No sense at all in several languages,

More than a Roman magistrate had fasces;
Will pass for learneder than he, that 's known Impower'd with statute, privilege, and mandate,
To speak the strongest reason in his own.

T'assume an art, and after understand it;
These are the modern arts of education,

Like bills of store for taking a degree,
With all the learned of mankind in fashion, With all the learning to it custom-free;
But practis'd only with the rod and whip,

And own professions, which they never took As riding-schools inculcate horsemanship;

So much delight in as to read one book : Or Romish penitents let out their skins,

Like princes, had prerogative to give To bear the penalties of others' sins :

Convicted malefactors a reprieve; When letters, at the first, were meant for play, And, having but a little paltry wit And only us'd to pass the time away;

More than the world, reduc'd and govern'd it, When th' ancient Greeks and Romans had no name But scorn'd, as soon as 'twas but understood, To express a school and play house, but the same, As better is a spiteful foe to good, And in their languages, so long agone,

And now has nothing left for its support,
To study or be idle was all one;

But what the darkest times provided for it.
For nothing more preserves men in their wits, Man has a natural desire to know,
Than giving of them leave to play by fits,

But th' one half is for interest, th' other show: lo dreams to sport, and ramble with all fancies, As scriviners take more pains to learn the sleight And waking, little less extravagances,

Of making knots, than all the hands they write: The rest and recreation of tir'd thought,

So all his study is not to extend When 'tis run down with care and overwrought, The bounds of knowledge, but some vainer end; Of which whoever does not freely take

T' appear and pass for learned, though his claim His constant share, is never broad awake;

Will hardly reach beyond the empty name: And, when he wants an equal competence

For most of those that drudge and labour hard Of both recruits, abates as much of sense.

Furnish their understandings by the yard,
Nor is their education worse design'd

As a French library by the whole is,
Than Natare (in ker province) proves unkind : So much an ell for quartos and for folios;
The greatest inclinations with the least

To which they are but indexes themselves,
Capacities are fatally possest,

And understand no further than the shelves; Condemn'd to drudge, and labour, and take pains, But smatter with their titles and editions, Without an equal competence of brains ;

And place them in their classical partitions ; While those she has indulg'd in soul and body

When all a student knows of what he reads Are most averse to industry and study,

Is not in 's own, but under general heads

Of common-places, not in his own power,

Exil'd himself, and all his followers, But, like a Dutchman's money, i' th' cantore, Notorious poets, only bating verse. Where all he can make of it, at the best,

The Stagyrite, unable to expound Is hardly three per cent for interest;

The Euripus, leapt, into 't, and was drown'd: And whether he will ever get it out,

So he that put his eyes out, to consider Into his own possession, is a doubt :

And contemplate on natural things the steadier, Affects all books of past and modern ages,

Did but himself for idiot convince, But reads no further than the title-pages,

Though reverenc'd by the learned ever since.
Only to con the anthors' names by rote,

Empedocles, to be esteem'd a god,
Or, at the best, those of the books they quote, Leapt into Etna, with his sandals shod,
Enough to challenge intimate acquaintance That being blown out, discover'd what an ass
With all the learned moderns and the ancients. The great philosopher and juggler was,
As Roman noblemen were wont to greet,

That to his own new deity sacrific'd,
And compliment the rabble in the street,

And was himself the victim and the priest. Had nomenclators in their trains, to claim

The Cynic coin'd false money, and, for fear Acquaintance with the meanest by his name, Of being hang'd for 't, turn'd philosopher; And, by so mean contemptible a bribe,

Yet with his lantern went, by day, to find Trepann'd the suffrages of every tribe;

One honest man i’ th' heap of all mankind;
So learned men, by authors' names unknown, An idle freak he needed not have done,
Have gain'd no small improvement to their own, If he had known himself to be but one.
And he's esteein'd the learned'st of all others, With swarms of maggots of the self-same rate,
That has the largest catalogue of authors.

The learned of all ages celebrate
Things that are properer for Knightsbridge college,
Than th' anthors and originals of knowledge;
More sottish than the two favatics, trying

To mend the world by langhing, or by crying; FRAGMENTS OF AN INTENDED SECOND PART OF

Or he that langh'd until he chok'd bis whistle, THE FOREGOING SATIRE.

To rally up an ass, that ate a thistle;

That th' antique sage, that was gallant t' a goose,
Men's talents grow more bold and confident, A sitter mistress could not pick and choose,
The further they 're beyond their just extent, Whose tempers, inclinations, sense, and wit,
As smatterers prove more arrogant and pert, Like two indentures, did agree so fit.
The less they truly understand an art;
And, where they 've least capacity to doubt, The ancient Sceptics constantly deny'd
Are wont t'appear most perempt'ry and stout; What they maintain'd, and thought they justify'd;
While those that know the mathematic lines, For when they affirm'd, that nothing is to be known,
Where Nature all the wit of man confines,

They did but what they said before disown;
And when it keeps within its bounds, and where And, like Polemics of the Post, pronounce
It acts beyond the limits of its sphere,

The same thing to be true and false at once. Enjoy an absoluter free command

These follies had such intiuence on the rabble, O'er all they have a right to understand,

As to engage them in perpetual squabble ; Than those that falsely venture to encroach Divided Rome and Athens into clans Where Nature has deny'd them all approach, Of ignorant mechanic partisars; And still, the more they strive to understand, That, to maintain their own bypotheses, Like great estates, run furt best behind-hand; Broke one another's blockhead's, and the peace; Will undertake the universe to fathom,

Were often set by officers i' th’ stocks From infinite down to a single atom ;

For quarrelling about a paradox: Without a geometric instrument,

When pudding-wives were launcht in cock-qucan To take their own capacity's extent;

stools, Can tell as easy how the world was made,

For falling foul on oyster-women's schools,
As if they had been brought up to the trade, No herb-women sold cabbages or onions,
And whether Chance, Necessity, or Matter, But to their gossips of their own opinions.
Contriv'd the whole establishment of Nature; A Peripatetic cobbler scorn'd to sole
When all their wits to understand the world A pair of shoes of any other school;
Can never tell why a pig's tail is curl d,

And porters of the judgment of the Stoics,
Or give a rational account why fish,

To go an errand of the Cyrenaics; That always use to drink, do never piss.

That us'd t'encounter in athletic lists,

With beard to beard, and teeth and nails to fists, What mad fantastic gambols have been play'd Like modern kicks and cuffs among the youth By th' ancient Greek forefathers of the trade, Of academics, to maintain the truth. That were not much inferior to the freaks

But in the boldest feats of arms the Stoic Of all our lunatic fanatic sects!

And Epicureans were the most beroic, The first and best philosopher of Athens

That stoutly ventur'd breaking of their necks, Wascrackt, and ran stark-staring mad with patience, To vindicate the interests of their sects, And had no other way to show his wit,

And still behav'd themselves as resolute But when his wife was in her scolding fit;

In waging cuffs and bruises, as dispute, Was after in the Pagan inquisition,

Until, with wounds and bruises which th' had got, And suffer'd martyrdom for no religion.

Some hundreds were kill'd dead upon the spot ; Next him, his scholar, striving to expel

When all their quarrels, rghtly understood, All poets his poetic commonweal,

Were but to prove disputes the sovereign good.

DISTINCTIONS, that had been at first design'd As far from gaiety and complaisance, To regulate the errors of the mind,

As greatness, insolence, and ignorance; By being too nicely overstraind and vext,

And therefore has surrendered her dominion Hare made the comment harder than the text, O'er all mankind to barbarous Opinion, and do not now, like carving, hit the joint, That in her right usurps the tyrannies But break the bones in pieces, of a point,

And arbitrary government of lies-And with impertinent evasions force

As no tricks on the rope but those that break, The clearest reason from its native course

Or come most near to breaking of a neck, That argue things s' uncertain, 'tis no matter Are worth the sight, so nothing goes for wit Whether they are, or never were in nature; But nonsense, or the next of all to it: And venture to demonstrate, when they've slurrd, for nonsense, being neither false nor true, And palm d a fallacy upon a word.

A little wit to any thing may screw ; For disputants (as swordsmen use to fence

And, when it has a while been us'd, of course With blunted foils) engage with blunted sense;

Will stand as well in virtue, power, and force, And, as they 're wont to falsify a blow,

And pass for sense, t' all purposes as good, Use nothing else to pass upon the foe;

As if it had at first been understood: Or, if they venture further to attack,

For nonsense has the amplest privileges, Like bowlers, strive to beat away the jack; And more than all the strongest sense obliges; And, when they find themselves too hardly prest on, That furnishes the schools with terms fart, Presaricate, and change the state o' th' quest'on; The mysteries of science to impart; The noblest science of defence and art

Supplies all seminaries with recruits In practice now with all that controvert,

Of endless controversies and disputes ; And th' only mode of prizes, from Bear-garden For learned nonsense has a deeper sound Down to the schools, in giving blows, or warding. Than easy sense, and goes for more profound.

As old knights-errant in their harness fought As safe as in a castle or redoubt,

For all our learned authors now compile Gare one another desperate attacks,

At charge of nothing but the words and style, To storm the counterscarps upon their backs; And the most curious critics or the learned So disputants advance, and post their arms, Believe themselves in nothing else concerned ; To storm the works of one another's terms; For, as it is the garniture and dress, Fall foul on some extravagant expression,

That all things wear in books and languages, But ne'er attempt the main design and reason- (And all men's qnalities are wont t'appear So some poleinics use to draw their swords According to the habits that they wear) Against the language only and the words;

'Tis probable to be the truest test
As he who fought at barriers with Salmasius, Of all the ingenuity o' th' rest.
Ensay'd with nothing but his style and phrases, The lives of trees lie only in the barks,
War'd to assert the murder of a prince,

And in their styles the wit of greatest clerks; The author of false Latin to convince;

Hence 'twas the ancient Roman politicians But laid the merits of the cause aside,

Went to the schools of foreigu rhetoricians, By those that understood them to be try'd; To learn the art of patrons, in defence And counted breaking Priscian's head a thing Of interest and their clients' eloquence; More capital than to behead a king ;

When consuls, censors, senators, and pretors, For which he 'as been admir'd by all the learn'd, With great dictators, us'd to apply to rhetors, Of knaves concern'd, and pedants unconcern'd. To hear the greater magistrate o'th' school

Give sentence in bis haughty chair-curule, JUDGMENT is but a curious pair of scales,

And those, who mighty nations overcame, That turns with th' hundredth part of true or false, Were fain to say their lessons, and declaim. And still, the more 'tis us'd, is wont t'abate

Words are but pictures, true or false design'd, The subtlety and niceness of its weight,

To draw the lines and features of the mind; t'ntil 'tis false, and will not rise nor fall,

The characters and artificial draughts, Like those that are less artificial;

To express the inward images of thoughts; And therefore students, in their ways of judging, And artists say a picture may be good, Are fain to swallow many a senseless gudgeon, Although the moral be not understood; And by their over-understanding lose

Whence some infer they may adinire a style, Its active faculty with too much use;

Though all the rest be e'er so mean and vile; For reason, when too curiously 'tis spun,

Applaud th' outsides of words, but never mind Is but the next of all remov'd om none

With what fantastic tau try they are lin'd. It is Opinion governs all mankind,

So orators, enchanted with the twang As wisely as the blind that leads the blind :

Of their own trillos, take delight t'harangue: For, as those surnames are esteem'd the best Whose science, like a juggler's box and balls, That signify in all things else the least,

Conveys and counterchanges true and false; Su men pass fairest in the world's opinion,

Casts mists before an andience's eyes, That have the least of truth and reason in them. To pass the one for th' other in disguise; Truth would undo the world, if it possest

And, like a morrice-dancer dress'd with bells, The meanest of its right and interest;

Only to serve for noise, and nothing else, Is but a titular princess, whose authority

Such as a carrier makes his cattle wear, is always under age, and in minority;

And hangs for pendents in a horse's ear; Has all things done, and carried in its name, For, if the language will but bear the test, But most of all where it can lay no claim;

No matter what becomes of all the rest :

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