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Most desperately, and to outdo

The difference is, the one fights with The active, 'gainst a conquering foe.

The tongue, the other with the teeth; Though we with blacks and blues are suggill'd, And that they bait but bears in this, Or, as the vulgar say, are cudgell'd,

In th' other souls and consciences; He that is valiant, and dares fight,

Where saints themselves are brought to stake Though drubb'd, can lose no honour by 't. For gospel-light and conscience sake; Honour's a lease for lives to come,

Expos'd to scribes and presbyters, And cannot be extended from

Instead of mastive dogs and curs; The legal tenant: 'tis a chattle

Than whom they've less humanity, Not to be forfeited in battle.

For these at souls of men will fly. If he, that in the field is slain,

This to the Prophet did appear, Be in the bed of Honour lain,

Who in a vision saw a bear, He that is beaten may be said

Prefiguring the beastly rage To lie in Honour's truckle-bed.

Of church-rule, in this latter age; For as we see th' eclipsed Sun

As is demonstrated at full By mortals is more gaz'd upon,

By him that baited the pope's bull. Than when, adorp'd with all his light,

Bears naturally are beasts of prey, He sbines in serene sky most bright,

That live by rapine; so do they. So valour, in a low estate,

What are their orders, constitutions, Iz most admir'd and wonder'd at.”

Church-censures, curses, absolutions, Quoth Ralph, “How great I do not know But several mystic chains they make, We may by being beaten grow;

To tie poor Christians to the stake? Bat tone, that see how here we sit,

And then set heathen officers, Will judge us overgrown with wit.

Instead of dogs, about their ears. As gifted brethren, preaching by

For to prohibit and dispense, A carnal hour-glass, do imply

To find out, or to make offence; Ilamination can convey

Of Hell and Heaven to dispose, leto them what they have to say,

To play with souls at fast and loose; But mot bow much; so well enough

To set what characters they please, 530# you to charge, but not draw off:

And mulcts, on sin and godliness; For wbo, without a cap and bauble,

Reduce the church te gospel-order, Having subdued a bear and rabble,

By rapine, sacrilege, and murther; And might with honour have come off,

To make preshytery supreme, Would put it to a second proof?

And kings themselves submit to them, A politic exploit, right fit

And force all people, though against For presbyterian zeal and wit."

Their consciences, to turn saints ; Qooth Hudibras, “ That cuckoo's tone,

Must prove a pretty thriving trade, Ralpho, thou always harp'st upon :

When saints monopolists are made : When thou at any thing wouldst rail,

When pious frauds and holy shifts Thou mak'st presbytery thy scale,

Are dispensations and gifts, To take the height on't, and explain

There godliness becomes mere ware,
To what degree it is profane;

And every synod but a fair.
Whats'eser will not with (thy what-d'ye call) Synods are whelps o'th' Inquisition,
Thy light jamp right, thou call'st synodical: A mongrel breed of like pernicion,
As if presbytery were a standard

And growing up, became the sires
To size whatsoever's to be slander'd.

Of scribes, commissioners, and triers; Dest pot remember how this day

Whose business is, by cunning sleight, Thua to my beard wast bold to say,

To cast a figure for men's light, That thou couldst prove bear-baiting equal To find, in lines of beard and face, With sypods, orthodox and legal ?

The physiognomy of Grace; De, if thoi can'st, for I deny't,

And by the sound and twang of nose, And dare thee to't with all thy light."

If all be sound within disclose, Purth Ralphe, “ Truly that is no

Free from a crack or flaw of sinning, Hard matter for a man to do,

As men try pipkins by the ringing ; That has but any guts in's brains,

By black caps underlaid with white, Ad conld believe it worth his pains :

Give certain guess at inward light; But since you dare and urge me to it,

Which serjeants at the Gospel wear, Yog'll find I've light enough to do it.

To make the sp'ritual calling clear. ** Spods are mystical bear-gardens,

The handkerchief about the neck Where elders, deputies, churchwardens,

(Canonical cravat of Smeck, And other members of the court,

From whom the institution came, Manage the Babylonisb sport;

When church and state they set on flame, For prolocutor, scribe, and bear-ward,

And worn by them as badges then Do difter only in a mere word.

Of spiritual warfaring-men) Bath are but several synagogues

Judge rightly if regeneration Of carnal men, and bears and dogs:

Be of the newest cut in fashion : Baxth antichristian assemblies,

Sure 'tis an orthodox opinion, To mischief bent, as far's in them lies :

That grace is founded in dominion. Both stave and tail, with fierce contests,

Great piety consists in pride; The one with men, the other beasts.

To rule is to be sanctify'd:

To domineer, and to control,

From whence they start up chosen vessels, Both o'er the body and the soul,

Made by contact, as men get measles. Is the most perfect discipline

So cardinals, they say, do grope Of church-rule, and by right divine.

At th' other end the new-made pope." Bell and the Dragon's chaplains were

“ Hold, hold," quoth Hudibras, “ soft fire, More moderate than these by far:

They say, does make sweet malt. Good squire, For they (poor knares) were glad cheat,

Festina lente, not too fast, To get their wives and children meat;

For haste (the proverb says) makes waste. But these will not be fobb'd off so,

The quirks and cavils thou dost make They must have wealth and power too;

Are false, and built upon mistake: Or else with blood and desolation

And I shall bring you with your pack They'll tear it out o' th' heart o'th' nation. Of fallacies, t' Elenchi back; “ Sure these themselves from primitive

And put your arguments in mood And heathen priesthood do derive,

And figure to be understood. When butchers were the only clerks,

I'll force you, by right ratiocination, Elders and presbyters of kirks;

To leave your vitilitigation, Whose directory was to kill,

And make you keep to th' question close, And some believe it is so still.

And argue dialecticus. The only difference is, that then

“The question then, to state it first, They slaughter'd only beasts, now men.

Is, Which is better or which worst, For then to sacrifice a bullock,

Synods or bears? Bears I avow Or, now and then, a child, to Moloch,

To be the worst, and synods thou ; They count a vile abomination,

But, to make good th' assertion, But not to slaughter a whole nation.

Thou say'st they're really all one. Presbytery does but translate

If so, not worse; for if they're idem, The papacy to a free state,

Why then tuntundem dat tantidem. A commonwealth of popery,

For if they are the same, by course Where every village is a sec

Neither is better, neither worse. As well as Rome, and must maintain

Put I deny they are the same, A tithe-pig metropolitan;

More than a maggot and I ani. Where every presbyter and deacon

That both are animalia Commands the keys for cheese and bacon,

I grant, but not rarionalia: And every hamlet's governed

For though they do agree in kind, By 's Holiness, the church's head,

Specific difference we find; More haughty and severe in ’s place,

And can no more make bears of these, Than Gregory and Boniface.

Than prove my horse is Socrates. Such church must, surely, be a monster

That synods are bear-gardens, too, With many heads: for if we conster

Thou dost affirm; but I say, No: What in th’ Apocalypse we find,

And thus I prove it, in a word ; According to th' apostle's mind,

Whats'ever assembly's not impower'd "Tis that the whore of Babylon

To censure, curse, absolve, and ordain, With many heads did ride upon,

Can be no synod: but bear-garden Which heads denute the sinful tribe

Has no such power; ergo, 'tis none, Of deacon, priest, lay-elder, scribe.

And so thy sophistry's o'erthrown. “ Lay-elder, Simeon to Levi,

“But yet we are beside the question Whose little finger is as heavy

Which thou didst raise the first contest on ; As loins of patriarchs, prince-prelate,

For that was, Whether bears are better And bishop-secular: this zealot

Than synod-men? I say, Negatur. Is of a mongrel, diverse kind,

That bears are beasts, and synods men, Cleric before, and lay behind;

Is held by all: they're better then; A lawless linsy-woolsey brother,

For bears and dogs on four legs go, Half of one order, half another ;

As beasts; but synod-men on two. A creature of amphibious nature,

'Tis true they all have teeth and nails; On land a beasi, a fish in water;

But prove that synod-men have tails; That always preys on grace or sin;

Or that a rugged shaggy fur A sheep without, a wolf within.

Grows o'er the hide of Presbyter; This fierce inquisitor has chief

Or that his snout and spacious ears Dominion over men's belief

Do hold proportion with a bear's. And manners; can pronounce a saint

A bear's a savage beast, of all Idolatrous or ignorant,

Most ugly and unnatural; When superciliously he sifts

Whelp'd without form, until the dam Through coarsest boulter others' gifts:

Has lickt it into shape and frame: For all men live and judge amiss,

But all thy light can ne'er evict, Whose talents jump not just with his;

That ever synod-man was lickt, He'll lay on gifts with hands, and place

Or brought to any other fashion On dullest nodolle light and grace,

Than his own will and inclination. The manufacture of the kirk.

“ But thou dost further yet in this Those pastors are but th' handy-work

Oppugn thyself and sense; that is, Of his mechanic paws, instilling

Thou wouldst have presbyters to go Divinity in them by feeling :

For bears and dogs, and bear-wards too:

A strange chimera of beasts and men,

That renders all the avenues Made up of picces heterogene ;

To truth impervious and abstruse, Such as in Nature never met

By making plain things, in debate, In exter subjecto yet.

By art perplext and intricate: “ Thv other argnments are all

For nothing goes for sense or light, Supposures hypothetical,

That will not with old rules jump right; That do but beg; and we may choose

As if rules were not in the schools Ether to grant them, or refuse.

Deriv'd from truth, but truth from rules. Much thou hast said, which I know when

This pagan, heathenish invention And where thou stol'st from other men,

Is good for nothing but contention : (Whereby 'tis plain thy light and gifts

For as, in sword and buckler fight, Are all but plagiary shifts)

All blows do on the target light; And is the same that Ranter said,

So when men argue, the great'st part Who, arguing with me, broke my head,

('th' contest falls on terms of art, And tore a handful of my beard ;

Until the fustian stuff be spent, The self-same cavils then I heard,

And then they fall to th' argument.” Wheo, being in bot dispute about

Quoth Hudibras, “ Friend Ralph, thou hast This controversy, we fell out;

Outrun the constable at last: Ani what thou know'st I answer'd then,'

For thou art fallen on a new Will serve to answer thee again."

Dispute, as senseless as untrue, Qooth Ralpho, “ Nothing but th' abuse

But to the former opposite, Of human learning you produce;

And contrary as black to white; Learning, that cobweb of the brain,

Mere disparata ; that concerning Profane, erroneous, and vain;

Presbytery, this human learning ; À trade of knowledge, as replete

Two things s' averse, they never yet As others are with fraud and cheat;

But in thy rambling fancy met. An art t' incumber gifts and wit,

But I shall take a fit occasion And render both for nothing fit;

T evince thee by' ratiocination, Makes light unactive, dull, and troubled,

Some other time, in place more proper Like little David in Saul's doublet :

Than this we're in; therefore let's stop here, A cheat that scholars put upon

And rest our weary'd bones a while,
Other men's reason and their own ;

Already tir'd with other toil.”
A fort of errour to ensconce
Absurdity and ignorance,

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THE ARGUMENT The knight, by damnable magician, Being cast illegally in prison, Love brings his action on the case, And lays it upon Hudibras. How he receives the lady's visit, And cunningly solicits his suit, Which she defers; yet, on parole, Redeems him from th' enchanted hole,

But now,

t' observe romantic method,
Let bloody steel a while be sheathed;
And all those harsh and rugged sounds
Of bastinados, cuts, and wounds,
Exchang'd to Love's more gentle style,
To let our reader breathe a while:
In which, that we may be as brief as
Is possible, by way of preface,
Is't not enough to make one strange,
That some men's fancies should ne'er change,
But make all people do and say
The same things still the self-same way?
Some writers make all ladies purloin'd,
And knights pursuing like a whirlwind :
Others make all their knights, in fits
Of jealousy, to lose their wits;
Till, drawing blood o' th' dames, like witches,
They're forthwith curd of their capriches.
Some always thrive in their amours,
By pulling plaisters off their sores;
As cripples do to get an alms,
Just so do they, and win their dames.
Some force whole regions, in despite
O'geography, to change their site;
Make former times shake hands with latter,
And that which was before come after.
But those that write in rhyme still make
The one verse for th' other's sake;
For one for sense, and one for rhyme,
I think 's sufficient at one time.

But we forget in what sad plight
We whilom left the captive knight
And pensive squire, both bruis'd in body,
And conjur'd into safe custody.
Tir'd with dispute, and speaking Latin,
As well as basting and bear-baiting,
And desperate of any course,
To free himself by wit or force,

His only solace was, that now
His dog-bolt fortune was so low,
That either it must quickly end,
Or turn about again, and mend,
In which he found th' event, no less
Than other times, beside his guess.

There is a tall long-sided dame,
(But wonderous light) yeleped Fame,
That like a thin cameleon boards
Herself on air, and eats her words;
Upon her shoulders wings she wears
Like hanging sleeves, lin'd through with ears,
And eyes, and tongues, as poets list,
Made good by deep mythologist :
With these she through the welkin flies,
And sometimes carries truth, oft lies;
With letters hung, like eastern pigeons,
And Mercuries of furthest regions;
Diurnals writ for regulation
Of lying, to inform the nation,
And by tbeir public use to bring down
The rate of whetstones in the kingdom.
About her neck a pacquet-mail,
Fraught with advice, some fresh, some stale,
Of men that walk'd when they were dead,
And cows of monsters brought to bed;
Of hailstones big as pullets' eggs,
And puppies whelp'd with twice two legs;
A blazing-star seen in the west,
By six or seven men at least.
Two trumpets she does sound at once,
But both of clean contrary tones;
But whether both with the same wind,
Or one before, and one behind,
We know not, only this can tell,
The one sounds vilely, th’ other well,
And therefore vulgar anthors name
Th' one Good, th' other Evil Fame.

This tattling gossip knew tvo well
What mischief Hudibras befel,
And straight the spiteful tidings bears
Of all, to th' unkind Widow's ears.
Democritus ne'er laugh'd so loud,
To see bawds carted through the crowd,
Or funerals, with stately pomp,
March slowly on in solemn dump,
As she laugh'd out, until her back,
As well as sides, was like to crack.
She vow'd she would go see the sight,
And visit the distressed knight;
To do the office of a neighbour,
And be a gossip at his labour;
And from his wooden gaol, the stocks,
To set at large his fetter-locks;

And by exchange, parole, or ransom,

Than to be seen with beard and face To free him from th' enchanted mansion.

By you in such a homely case.” This being resolv'd, she call'd for hood

Quoth she, “ Those need not be asham'd And nsher, implements abroad

For being honourably maim'd ; Which ladies wear, beside a slender

If he that is in battle conquer'd Young waiting-damsel to attend her.

Have any title to his own beard, All which appearing, on she went

Though your's be sorely lugg'd and tom, To find the knight, in limbo pent :

It does your visage more adorn, Aad 'twas not long before she found

Than if 'twere prun'd, and starch'd, and landerd, Him and his stoat squire in the pound;

And cut square by the Russian standard. Both coupled in enchanted tether,

A torn beard 's like a tatter'd ensign, By further leg behind together :

That's bravest which there are most rents in. For as he sat upon his rump,

That petticoat about your shoulders, His head, like one in doleful dump,

Does not so well become a soldier's; Between his knees, his hands apply'd

And I'm afraid they are worse handled, Cato bis ears on either side,

Although i' th' rear, your beard the van led; And by bim, in another hole,

And those uneasy bruises make Amicted Ralpho, cheek by jowl :

My heart for company to ache, She came upon him in his wooden

To see so worshipful a friend Magician's circle, on the sudden,

l'th' pillory set, at the wrong end.” As spirits do t'a conjurer,

Quoth Hudibras, “ This thing call'd pain When ia their dreadful shapes th' appear.

Is (as the learned Stoics maintain) No sooner did the knight perceive her,

Not bad simpliciter, nor good, But straight he fell into a fever,

But merely as 'tis understood. Icdam'd all over with disgrace,

Sense is deceitful, and may feign To be seen by' her in such a place:

As well in counterfeiting pain Which made him hang his head and scoul, As other gross phenomenas, And wink and goggle like an owl;

In which it oft mistakes the case. He felt his brains begin to swim,

But since th' immortal intellect When thus the dame accosted him.

(That's free from errour and defect, * This place,"quoth she, “they say's enchanted, Whose objects still persist the same) And with delinquent spirits haunted,

Is free from outward bruise or maim, That here are ty'd in chains, and scourg'd, Which nought external can expose l'ntil their guilty crimes be purg'd:

To gross material bangs or blows, Look, there are two of them appear,

It follows, we can ne'er be sure Like persons I have seen somewhere.

Whether we pain or not endure, Some have mistaken blocks and posts

And just so far are sore and griev'd For spectres, apparitions, ghosts,

As by the fancy is believ'd. With saucer-eyes and horns ; and some

Some have been wounded with conceit, Hare heard the Devil beat a drum;

And dy'd of mere opinion straight; Bat if our eyes are not false glasses,

Others, though wounded sore in reason, 'That give a wrong account of faces,

Felt no contusion, nor discretion. That beard and I should be acquainted,

A Saxon duke did grow so fat, Before 'twas conjur'd and enchanted;

That mice (as histories relate) For though it be disfigur'd somewhat,

Ate grots and labyrinths to dwell in As if 't had lately been in combat,

His postique parts, without his feeling; It did belong to a worthy knight,

Then how's it possible a kick Howe'er this goblin is come by't.”

Shou'd e'er reach that way to the quick ?" When Hadibras the lady heard

Quoth she, “ I grant it is in vain Discoursing thus upon his beard,

For one that's basted to feel pain, And speak with such respeet and honour

Because the pangs his bones endure Both of the beard and the beard's owner,

Contribute nothing to the cure; He thought it best to set as good

Yet Honour hurt is wont to rage A face upon it as he cou'd ;

With pain no medicine can assuage.” And thus he spoke: “ Lady, your bright

Quoth he, “ That Honour's very squeamish, And radiant eyes are in the right;

That takes a basting for a blemish: The beard's th' identic beard you knew,

For what's more honourable than scars, The same numerically true;

Or skip to tatters rent in wars? Nor is it worn by fiend or elf,

Some have been beaten till they know Bot its proprietor himself.”

What wood a cudgel's of by the blow : “Heavens !" quoth she, “can that be true? Some kick'd, until they can feel whether I do begin to fear 'tis you;

A shoe be Spanish or neat's leather; Not by your individual wbiskers,

And yet have met, after long running, But by your dialect and discourse,

With some whom they have taught that cunning That never spoke to man or beast

The furthest way about, to o'ercome, In notions vulgarly exprest :

In th' end does prove the nearest home. But what malignant star, alas !

By laws of learned duellists, Has brought you both to this sad pass ?”

They that are bruris'd with wood or fists, Quoth he, “ The fortune of the war,

And think one beating may for once Which I am less afflicted for,

Suffice, are cowards and poltroons ;

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