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Luc. Dromio, go bid the servants spread for dinner. Dro. S. O, for my beads! I cross me for a sinner. This is the fairy land ;-0, spite of spites!We talk with goblins, owls, and elvish sprites : If we obey them not, this will ensue,

They'll suck our breath, or pinch us black and blue.

Luc. Why prat'st thou to thyself, and answer'st not? Dromio, thou drone, thou snail, thou slug, thou sot!

Dro. S. I am transformed, master, am not I?

Ant. S. I think, thou art, in mind, and so am I.
Dro. S. Nay, master, both in mind, and in my shape.
Ant. S. Thou hast thine own form.

Dro. S.
No, I am an ape.
Luc. If thou art chang'd to aught, 'tis to an ass.

Dro. S. 'Tis true; she rides me, and I long for grass.

"Tis So, I am an ass; else it could never be,

But I should know her as well as she knows me.

Adr. Come, come, no longer will I be a fool,
To put the finger in the eye and weep,

Whilst man, and master, laugh my woes to scorn.-
Come, sir, to dinner; Dromio, keep the gate:-
Husband, I'll dine above with you to-day,


And shrive you of a thousand idle pranks:

Sirrah, if any ask you for your master,

Say, he dines forth, and let no creature enter.-
Come, sister:-Dromio, play the porter well.

Ant. S. Am I in earth, in heaven, or in hell?
Sleeping or waking? mad, or well advis'd?
Known unto these, and to myself disguis'd!
I'll say as they say, and perséver so,

And in this mist at all adventures go.

Dro. S. Master, shall I be porter at the gate?
Adr. Ay; and let none enter, lest I break your pate.
Luc. Come, come, Antipholus, we dine too late.



And shrive you -] That is, I will call you to confession, and

you tell your



SCENE I.-The same.

Enter ANTIPHOLUS of Ephesus, DROMIO of Ephesus,

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Ant. E. Good signior Angelo, you must excuse us all;
My wife is shrewish, when I keep not hours:
Say, that I linger'd with you at your shop,
To see the making of her carkanet',
And that to-morrow you will bring it home.
But here's a villain, that would face me down
He met me on the mart; and that I beat him,
And charg'd him with a thousand marks in gold;
And that I did deny my wife and house :-

Thou drunkard, thou, what didst thou mean by this?
Dro. E. Say what you will, sir, but I know what I
know :

That you beat me at the mart, I have your hand to show:
If the skin were parchment, and the blows you gave

were ink,

Your own handwriting would tell you what I think.
Ant. E. I think thou art an ass.

Dro. E.

Marry, so it doth appear
By the wrongs I suffer, and the blows I bear.

I should kick, being kick'd; and, being at that pass,
You would keep from my heels, and beware of an ass.
Ant. E. You are sad, signior Balthazar: 'Pray God,
our cheer

May answer my good will, and your good welcome here.
Bal. I hold your dainties cheap, sir, and your wel-
come dear.


carkanet,] Seems to have been a necklace, or rather chain, perhaps hanging down double from the neck.

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Ant. E. O, signior Balthazar, either at flesh or fish, A table full of welcome makes scarce one dainty dish. Bal. Good meat, sir, is common; that every churl


Ant. E. And welcome more common; for that's nothing but words.

Bal. Small cheer, and great welcome, makes a merry


Ant. E. Ay, to a niggardly host, and more sparing


But though my cates be mean, take them in good part; Better cheer may you have, but not with better heart. But, soft; my door is lock'd; Go bid them let us in. Dro. E. Maud, Bridget, Marian, Cicely, Gillian, Jen'!

Dro. S. [within.] Mome, malt-horse, capon, coxcomb, idiot, patch'!

Either get thee from the door, or sit down at the hatch: Dost thou conjure for wenches, that thou call'st for such


When one is one too many? Go, get thee from the door. Dro. E. What patch is made our porter? My master

stays in the street.

Dro. S. Let him walk from whence he came, lest he catch cold on's feet.

Ant. E. Who talks within there? ho, open the door. Dro. S. Right, sir, I'll tell you when, an you'll tell me wherefore.

8 Mome,] A dull stupid blockhead, a stock, a post; from one of those similar words in many languages, signifying something foolish. It may also owe its original to the French word momon, which signifies the gaming at dice in masquerade, the custom and rule of which is, that a strict silence is to be observed; whatever sum one stakes, another covers, but not a word is to be spoken. From hence also comes our word mum! for silence. HAWKINS, and DOUCE.

9 - patch!] i. e. fool. Alluding to the party-coloured coats worn by the licensed fools or jesters of the age.

Ant. E. Wherefore! for my dinner; I have not din'd


Dro. S. Nor to-day here you must not; come again, when you may.

Ant. E. What art thou, that keep'st me out from the
house I owe1?

Dro. S. The porter for this time, sir, and my name is

Dro. E. O villain, thou hast stolen both mine office
and my name:

The one ne'er got me credit, the other mickle blame.
If thou had'st been Dromio to-day in my place,

Thou would'st have chang'd thy face for a name, or thy
name for an ass.

Luce. [within.] What a coil is there? Dromio, who

are those at the gate?

Dro. E. Let my master in, Luce.


And so tell your master.

Faith, no; he comes too late:

O Lord, I must laugh ;

Dro. E.
Have at you with a proverb.-Shall I set in my staff?
Luce. Have at you with another: that's, When?
can you tell?

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Dro. S. If thy name be call'd Luce, Luce, thou hast answer'd him well.

Ant. E. Do you hear, you minion? you'll let us in, I


Luce. I thought to have ask'd you.

Dro. S.

And you said, no.

Dro. E. So, come, help; well struck; there was blow

for blow.

Ant. E. Thou baggage, let me in.

Can you tell for whose sake?

Let him knock till it ake.

Dro. E. Master, knock the door hard.

1 - I owe?] i. e. I own, am owner of.


Ant. E. You'll cry for this, minion, if I beat the door


Luce. What needs all that, and a pair of stocks in the


Adr. [within.] Who is that at the door, that keeps all this noise ?

Dro. S. By my troth, your town is troubled with unruly boys.

Ant. E. Are you there, wife? you might have come before.

Adr. Your wife, sir knave! go, get you from the door. Dro. E. If you went in pain, master, this knave would

go sore.

Ang. Here is neither cheer, sir, nor welcome; we would fain have either.

Bal. In debating which was best, we shall part with neither 2.

Dro. E. They stand at the door, master; bid them welcome hither.

Ant. E. There is something in the wind, that we cannot get in.

Dro. E. You would say so, master, if your garments were thin.

Your cake here is warm within: you stand here in the


It would make a man mad as a buck, to be so bought and sold.

Ant. E. Go, fetch me something, I'll break ope the gate. Dro. S. Break any breaking here, and I'll break your

knave's pate.

Dro. E. A man may break a word with you, sir; and words are but wind;

Ay, and break it in your face, so he break it not behind.


we shall part with neither.] Mr. Tyrwhitt says, that in our old language, to part signified to have part. But part does not signify to share or divide, but to depart or go away; and Balthazar means to say, that whilst debating which is best, they should go away without either.

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