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course, that books and solitude had secured you, I was rule, and that she would never believe any. 'till winter.
man could love a woman, that thought her in Ld More. Nay, I did not think of coming my- the wrong in any thing she had a mind to, at self, but I found myself not very well in London; | least if he dared to tell her so. This provoked so I thought-a-little hunting, and this air- me into her whole character, with so much spirit Sir Cha. Ha! ha! ha!
and civil malice, as I have seen her bestow upon Ld More. What do you laugh at?
a woman of true beauty, when the men first Sir Chu. Only because you should not go on toasted her; so, in the midille of my wisdomn, she with your story: if you did but see how silly a told me, she desired to be alone, 'that I would man fumbles for an excuse, when he is a little take my odious proud heart along with me, and ashamed of being in love, you would not wonder trouble' her no more-1-bowed very low, what I laugh at ; ha, ha, ha!
and, as I left the room, vowed I never would, Ld More. Thou art a very happy fellow-- and that my proud heart should never be humnothing touches thee-always easy-Then you bled by the outside of a fine woman-About an conclude I follow Lady Betty again?
hour after, I whipped into my chaise for LonSir Chu. Yes, faith do I: and to make you don, and have never seen her since. easy, my lord, I cannot see why a man, that can Sir Cha. Very well; and how did you find ride fifty miles after a poor stag, should be ashamed your proud heart by that time you got to Houn. of running twenty in chase of a fine woman, that, slow? in all probability, will show him so much the bet- Ld More. I am almost ashamed to tell youter sport, too.
[Embracing. I found her so much in the right, that I cursed Là More. Dear Charles, don't flatter my dis- my pride for contradicting her at all, and began temper; I own I still follow her : do you think to think, according to her maxim, that no woman her charms have power to excuse me to the world? could be in the wrong to a man that she had in Sir Cha. Ay! ay! a fine woman's an excuse her
power. for any thing, and the scandal of our being in Sir Chu. Ha, ha! Well, I'll tell you what you jest, is a jest itself; we are all forced to be their shall do. You can see her without trembling, I fools before we can be their favourites.
hope? Ld More. You are willing to give me hope ; but Ld More. Not if she receives me well. I cann't believe she has the least degree of incli- Sir Cha. If she receives you well, you will nation for me.
have no occasion for what I am going to say to Sir Cha. I don't know that– I am sure her pride you- -first you shall dine with her. likes you, and that's generally your fine ladies' Ld More. How? where? when? darling passion.
Sir Cha. Here! here! at two o'clock. Ld More. Do you suppose, if I could grow in- Ld More. Dear Charles ! different, it would touch her ?
Sir Cha. My wife is gone to invite her; when Sir Cha. Sting her to the heart- Will you you see her first, be neither too humble, nor too advice?
stubborn ; let her see, by the ease in your behaLd More. I have no relief but that. Had I viour, you are still pleased in being near her, not thee now and then to talk an hour, my life while she is upon reasonable terms with you. were insupportable.
This will either open the door of an ecluircisseSir Chu. I am sorry for that, my lord ;-but ment, or quite shut it against you- and if she mind what I say to you--but hold, first let me is still resolved to keep you outknow the particulars of your quarrel with her. Ld More. Nay, if she insults me, then, perhaps,
Ld More. Why—about three weeks ago, when I may recover pride enough to rally her by an I was last here at Windsor, she had for some overacted subinission. days treated me with a little more reserve, and Sir Cha. Why, you improve, my lord ! this is another with more freedom, than I found myself the very thing I was going to propose to you. easy at.
Lu Kiore. Was it, faith! hark
you Sir Cha. Who was that other?
stand by me? Ld More. One of my lord Foppington's gang Sir Chu. Dare I! ay, to my last drop of assile
-the pert coxcomb that's just come to a small rance, against all the insolent airs of the proud. estate and a great periwig-he that sings himself est beauty in Christendom. among the women-What do you call him? More. Nay, then, defiance to her-We two
-He won't speak to a commoner when a lord – Thou hast inspired me-I find myself as valiis in company
-you always see him with a cane ant as a flattered coward. dangling at his button, his breast open, no gloves, Sir Chu. Courage, my lord; I'll warrant we one eye tucked under his hat, and a tooth-pick beat her. -Startup, that's his name.
Ld More. My blood stirs at the very thought Sir Cha. O! I have met himn in a visit but on't: I long to be engaged. pray go on.
Sir Cha. She will certainly give ground, when Ld More. So, disputing with her about the she once sees you are thoroughly provoked. conduct of women, I took the liberty to tell her L:More. Dear Charles, thou art a friend in. how far I thought she erred in hers. She told nie deed!
Sir Cha. Have a care! I have seen him at Lady Enter a Servant.
Betty Modish's Sero. Sir, my lord Foppington gives his service, Ld More. To be laughed at. and, if your honour's at leisure, he'll wait on you Sir Cha. Don't be too confident of that; the as soon as he is dressed.
women now begin to laugh with him, not at hire : La More. Lord Foppington! Is he in town? for he really sometimes rallies his own humour
Sir Cha. Yes; I heard last night he was come. with so much ease and pleasantry, that a great Give my service to his lordship, and tell him I many women begin to think he has no follies at should be glad he will do me the honour of his all, and those he has, have been as much owing company here at dinner. (Erit Servant.] We to his youth, and a great estate, as want of natumay have occasion for him in our design upon ral wit: 'tis true, he often is a bubble to his Lady Betty.
pleasures, but he has always been wisely rain Ld More. What use can we make of him? enough to keep himself from being too much the
Sir Cha. We'll see when he comes ; at least, ladies' humble servant in love. there is no danger in him; but I suppose you
Ld More. There, indeed, I almost envy him. know he is
Sir Cha. The easiness of his opinion upon the Ld More. Pshaw! a coxcomb.
sex, will go near to pique him-We must have Sir Cha. Nay, don't despise him neither him. he is able to give you advice; for, though he is Ld More. As you please—but what shall ve in love with the same woman, yet, to him, she do with ourselves till dinner? has not charms enough to give a minute's pain. Sir Cha. What think you of a party at piquet?
Ld More. Pr’ythee, what sense has he of love? Ld More. O! you are too hard for me.
Sir Cha. Faith, very near as much as a man of Sir Cha. Fie! fie! when you play with his sense ought to have; I grant you he knows not grace? how to value a woman truly deserving, but he Ld More. Upon my honour, he gives me three has a pretty just esteem for most ladies about points. town,
Sir Cha. Does he : Why, then, you shall give Ld More. That he follows, I grant you for me but two-Here, fellow, get cards. Allons ! he seldom visits any of extraordinary reputation.
our best pains about it, 'tis the beauty of the SCENE I.-Lady Betty Modish's Lodgings. mind alone that gives us lasting value.
Lady Bet. Ah, my dear! my dear! you have Enter Lady BETTY, and Lady Easy, meeting. been a married woman to a fine purpose, indeed,
Ludy Bet. Oh, my dear! I am overjoyed to that know so little of the taste of mankind. Take see you! I am strangely happy to-day! I have my word, a new fashion upon a fine woman is of. just received my new scarf from London, and ten a greater proof of her value, than you are you are most critically come to give me your opi- aware of. nion of it.
Lady Easy. That I cann't comprehend; for Lady Easy. Oh, your servant, madam; I am you sce among the men, nothing's more ridici a very indifferent judge, you know. What, is it lous than a new fashion. Those of the first with sleeves ?
sense are always the last that come into them. Ludy Bet. Oh, 'tis impossible to tell you what Lady Bet. That is, because the only merit of it is ! -'Tis all extravagance, both in mode a man is his sense ; but, doubtless, the greatest and fancy, my dear. I believe there's six thou- value of a woman is her beauty. An homely mosand yards of edging in it-Then, such an en. man, at the head of a fashion, would not be ab. chanting slope from the elbow-something so lowed in it by the men, and consequently not new, so lively, so noble, so coquette and charm- followed by the women ; so that, to be successful ing- -but you shall see it, my dear
in one's fancy, is an evident sign of one's being Lady Easy. Indeed, I won't, my dear; I am admired; and I always take admiration for the resolved to mortify you for being so wrongfully best proof of beauty, and beauty certainly is the fond of a trifle.
source of power, as power, in all creatures, is the Lady Bet. Nay, now, my dear, you are ill-na- height of happiness. tured.
Lady Easy. At this rate, you would rather b: Lady Easy. Why, truly, I'm half angry to see thought beautiful than good? a woman of your sense so warmly concerned in Lady Bet. As I had rather command, than the care of her outside ; for, when we have taken obey: the wisest homely woman can't make a inan of sense of a fool; but the veriest fool of a \ quality so long and honourably in love with you; beauty shall make an ass of a statesman; so that, for, now-a-days, one hardly ever hears of such a in short, I can't see a woman of spirit has any thing as a man of quality in love with the wobusiness in this world but to dress and make man he would marry. To be in love, now, is the men like her.
only to have a design upon a woman, a modish Lady Easy. Do you suppose this is a principle way of declaring war against her virtue, which the men of sense will admire you for?
they generally attaek first, by toasting up her vaLady Bet. I do suppose, that when I suffer nity. any man to like my person, he sha'n't dare to find Lady Bet. Ay, but the world knows, that is fault with my principle.
not the case between my lord and me. Lady Easy. But men of sense are not so easi- Ludy Easy. Therefore, I think you happy. ly humbled.
Lady Bet. Now, I don't see it ; I'll swear I'm Lady Bet. The easiest of any; one has ten better pleased to know there are a great many thousand times the trouble with a coxcomb. foolish fellows of quality that take occasion to
Ludy Eusy. Nay, that may be ; for I have toast me frequently. seen you throw away more good humour, in Lady Easy. I vow I should not thank any genhopes of a tendresse from my lord Foppington, tleman for toasting me, and I have often won-. who loves all women alike, than would have made dered how a woman of your spirit could bear a my lord Morelove perfectly happy, who loves on- great many other freedoms I have seen some ly you.
men take with you. Lady Bet. The men of sense, my dear, make, Lady Bet. As how, my dear? Come, pr’ythee, the best fools in the world: their sincerity and be free with me, for, you must know, I love deargood breeding throws them so entirely into one's ly to hear my faults-Who is't you have obserpower, and gives one such an agreeable thirst of ved to be 100 free with me? using them ill, to shew that power-'tis impossi- Lady Eusy. Why, there's my lord Foppington; ble not to quench it.
could any woman but you bear to see him with a Lady Easy. But, methinks, my lord More- respectful fleer stare full in her face, draw up love's manner to you might move any woman to his breath, and cry-Gad, you're handsome? a kinder sense of his merit.
Lady Bet. My dear, fine fruit will have flies Ludy Bet. Ay, but would it not be hard, my about it ; but, poor things, they do it no harm : dear, for a poor weak woman to have a man of for, if you observe, people are generally most his quality and reputation in her power, and not apt to choose that the flies have been busy with, to let the world see him there? Would any crea
ha, ha, ha! ture sit new dressed all day in her closet ? Could Lady Eusy. Thou art a strange giddy crcayou bear to have a sweet-fancied suit, and never ture! shew it at the play or the drawing-room?
Lady Bet. That may be from so much circuLady Eusy. But one would not ride in it, me- lation of thought, my dear. thinks, or harass it out, when there's no occasion. Lady Easy. But my lord Foppington's mar
Ludy Bet. Pooh! my lord Morelove's a mere ried, and one would not fool with him, for his Indian damask; one cann't wear him out; o' my lady's sake; it may make her uneasy, and conscience, I must give him to my woman at Ludy Bet. Poor creature! Her pride, indeed, last; I begin to be known by him : bad no$ I makes her carry it off without taking any notice best leave him off, my dear? for, poor soul, I be- of it to me; though I know she hates me in her lieve I have a little fretted him of late.
heart, and I cannot endure malicious people; so Lady Easy. Now, 'tis to me amazing, how a I used to dine with her once a week, purely to man of his spirit can bear to be used like a dog give her disorder : if you had but seen when my for four or five years together—but nothing's a lord and I fooled a little, the creature looked so wonder in love ; yet pray, when you found you ugly! could not like him at first, why did you ever en- Lady Easy. But I should not think my repucourage him?
tation safe ; my lord Foppington's a man that Ludy Bet. Why, what would you have one talks often of his amours, but seldom speaks of do? for my part, I could no more choose a man favours that are refused him. by my eye, than a shoc; one must draw them on Ludy Bet. Pshaw! will any thing a man says a little, to see if they are right to one's foot. make a woman less agreeable? Will his talking
Ludy Eusy. But I'd no more fool on with a spoil one's complexion, or put one's hair out of man I could not like, than I'd wear a shoe that order and for reputation-look you, my dear, pinched me.
take it for a rule, that, as amongst the lower rank, Lady Del. Ay, but then a poor wretch tells of people, no woman wants beauty that has forone, he'll widen them, or do any thing, and is so tune; so, among people of fortune, no woman civil and silly, that one does not know how to wants virtue that has beauty: but an estate and turn such a trifle, as a pair of shoes, or an heart, beauty joined, are of an unlimited, nay, a power upon a fellow's hands again.
pontifical, make one not only absolute, but infalLady Eusy. Well; I confess you are very hap-lible-A fine woman's never in the w.ong; or, pily distinguished among most women of fortune, if we were, 'tis not the strength of a poor creato have a man of my lord Morelove's sense and ture's reason that can unfetter him. Oh, how I
love to hear a wretch curse himself for loving on, Ld More. Oh! Pr’ythee, how does that go or now and then coming out with aYet for the plague of human race,
Sir Cha. As agreeably as a Chancery suit; for This devil has an angel's face.
now it comes to the intolerable plague of my not
being able to get rid on't ; as you may seeLady Eusy. At this rate, I don't see you allow
(Giving the letter, reputation to be at all essential to a fine woman? Ld More. (Reads.)—“ Your behaviour, since Luty Bet. Just as much as honour to a great I came to Windsor, has convinced me of your
rower is always above scandal. Don't villainy, without my being surprised, or angry at you hear people say the king of France owes it. I desire you would let me see you at my most of his conquests to breaking his word, and lodgings immediately, where I shall have a betwould not the confederates have a fine time on't, ter opportunity to convince you, that I never if they were only to go to war with reproaches ? | can, or positively will, be as I have been.Indeed, my dear, that jewel reputation is a very yours," &c. A very whimsical letter ! Faith, I fanciful business! One shall not see a homely think she has hard luck with you: if a man were creature in town, but wears it in her mouth as obliged to have a mistress, her person and condimonstrously as the Indians do bobs at their lips, tion seem to be cut out for the ease of a lover : and it really becomes them just alike.
for she's a young, handsome, wild, well-jointured Lady Eusy. Have a care, my dear, of trusting widow-But what's your quarrel? too far to power alone: for nothing is more ridi- Sir Cha. Nothing-She sees the coolness hapculous than the fall of pride; and woman's pride, pens to be first on my side, and her business at best, may be suspected to be more a distrust, with me now, I suppose, is to convince me how than a real contempt of mankind; for, when we heartily she's vexed that she was not before-hand have said all we can, a deserving husband is cer- with me. tainly our best happiness; and I don't question Ld More. Her pride, and your indifference, but iny lord Morelove's merit, in a little time, must occasion a pleasant scene, sure; what do will make you think so, too; for, whatever airs you intend to do? you give yourself to the world, I'm sure your Sir Cha. Treat her with a cold familiar air, till heart don't want good nature.
I pique her to forbid me her sight, and then take Lady Bet. You are mistaken ; I am very ill- her at her word. natured, though your good humour won't let you Ld More. Very gallant and provoking. Lady Eusy. Then, to give me a proof on't, let
Enter a Servant. me see you refuse to go immediately and dine Serv. Sir, my lord Foppingtonwith me, after I have promised Sir Charles to
[Exil Serrant. bring you.
Sir Chu. Oh-now, my lord, if you have a Ludy Bit. Pray, don't ask me.
mind to be let into the niystery of making love Lady Eany. Why?
without pain, here's one that's a master of the Lady Bei. Because, to let you see I hate art, and shall declaim to yougood nature, I'll go without asking, that you mayn't have the malice to say I did you a favour.
Enter Lord FOPPINGTON. Lady Eusy. Thou art a mad creature. My dear Lord Foppington !
(Ereunt arm in arm. Ld Fop. My dear agreeable! Que je t'em.
brasse ! Pardi ? Il y a cent ans que je ne t'ai vu SCENE II.-Chunges to Sir Charles's Lodg- – my lord, I am your lordship’s most obecient ings. Lord MORELOVE and Sir CHARLES at
humble servant. piquet.
Lit More. My lord, I kiss your hands-I hope
we shall have you here some time; you seem Sir Cha. Come, my lord, one single game for to have laid in a stock of health to be in at the the tout, and so have done.
diversions of the place—You look extremely well. Ld More. No, hang them, I have enough of Ld Fop. To see one's friends look so, my them ! ill cards are the dullest company in the lord, may easily give a vermeille to one's comworld-How much is it?
plexion. Sir Chu. Three parties.
Sir Cha. Lovers in hope, my lord, always have Ld More. Fifteen pounds--very well. a visible brilliant in their eyes and air. [While Lord MORELOVE counts out his money, a Ld Fop. What dost thou mean, Charles?
servant gives Sir CHARLES a letter, which Sir Chu. Come, come, confess what really he reads to himself.
brought you to Windsor, now you have no busiSir Cha. (To the Servant.]-Give my service;
ness there? say I have company dines with me; if I have Ld Fop. Why, two hours, and six of the best time I'll call there in the afternoon—ha, ha, ha!
nags in Christendom, or the devil drive me!
(Erit Servant. Ld More. You make haste, my lord. Ld More. What's the matter? there
Ld Fop. My lord, I always fly when I pursue [Paying the
money. -But they are all well kept, indeed - I love to Sir Cha. The old affair—My lady Graveairs. have creatures go as I bid them. You bave seen
them, Charles ; but so has all the world : Fop- | deserve more than her husband's inclinations can pington's long tails are known on every road in pay, in my mind she has no merit at all. England.
Ld More. She's extremely well-bred, and of Sir Cha. Well, my lord, but how came they to a very prudent conduct. bring you this road? You don't use to take these LÅ Fop. Um-ay--the woman's proud irregular jaunts, without some design in your enough. head, of having more than nothing to do.
Ld More. Add to this, all the world allows Ld Fop. Pshaw! Pox! Pr’ythee, Charles, thou her handsome. knowest I am a fellow sans consequence, be Ld Fop. The world's extremely civil, my lord; where I will.
and I should take it as a favour done me, if they Sir Chu. Nay, nay, this is too much among could find an expedient to unmarry the poor wofriends, my lord; come, come, we must have it; man from the only man in the world that cannot your real business here?
think her handsome. Li Fop. Why, then, entre nous, there is a
Li More. I believe there are a great many in certain fille de joye about the court, here, that the world that are sorry’tis not in their power to loves winning at cards better than all the things unmarry her. I have been able to say to her,
So I have Ld Fop. I am a great many in the world's brought an odd thousand bill in my pocket, that very humble servant; and, whenever they find I design tête-à-tête, to play off with her at pi- it is in their power, their high and mighty wisquet, or so; and now the business is out. doms may command me at a quarter of an hour's
Sir Cha. Ay, and a very good business, too, my warning. lord.
Ld More. Pray, my lord, what did you marry La Fop. If it be well done, Charles
for? Sir Chú. That's as you manage your cards, my Ld Fop. To pay my debts at play, and disinlord.
herit my younger brother. Ld More. This must be a woman of couse
Ld More. But there are some things due to a quence, by the value you set upon her favours. wife.
Sir Cha. Oh, nothing's above the price of a Li Fop. And there are some debts I don't fine woman.
care to pay
to both which I plead-husband, Ld Fop. Nay, look you, gentlemen, the price and—my lord. may not happen to be altogether so high, nei- Ld More. If I should do so, I should expect ther-For I fancy I know enough of the game to have my own coach stopt in the street, and to to make it an even bet, I get her for nothing. meet my wife with the windows up in a hackney. Ld Jore. How so, my lord ?
Ld Fop. Then would I put in bail, and order L1 Fop. Because if she happen to lose a good a separate maintenance. sun to me, I shall buy her with her own money. Ld More. So, pay the double the sum of the LI More. That's new, I confess.
debt, and be married for nothing. Ld Fop. You know, Charles, 'tis not impossi- Ld Fop. Now, I think deferring a dun, and ble but I may be five hundred pounds deep with getting rid of one's wife, are two of the most her-then, bills may fall short, and the devil's agreeable sweets in the liberties of an English in't if I want assurance to ask her to pay some subject. way or other.
Ld More. If I were married, I would as soon Sir Chu. And a man must be a churl, indeed, part from my estate as my wife. that won't take a lady's personal security; ha, Li Fop. Now, I would noi ; sun-burn me if ha, ha!
I would. Ld Fop. He, he, he! Thou art a devil, Charles ! Lt More. Death! but, since you are so inLi More. Death! How happy is this coxcomb ? different, my lord, why would you needs marry a
[.4 side. woman of so much merit? Could not you have LFop. But, to tell you the truth, gentlemen, laid out your spleen upon some ill-natured shrew, I had another pressing temptation that brought that wanted the plague of an ill husband, and me bither, which was my wife.
have let her alone to some plain, honest man of Ld More. That's kind, indeed; my lady bas quality, that would have deserved her? been here this month: she'll be glad to see yon. Ld Fop. Why, faith, my lord, that inight have
Ld Fop. That I don't know; for I design this been considered; but I really grew so passionafternoon to send her to London.
ately fond of her fortune, that, curse catch me, Ld More. What! the same day you come, my I was quite blind to the rest of her good qualilord ? that would be cruel.
ties; for, to tell you the truth, if it had been posLil Fop. Ay, but it will be mighty convenient ; sible the old put of a peer could have tossed me for she is positively of no manner of use in my
in t'other five thousand for them, by my consent,
she should have relinquished her merit and virLa More. That's your fault; the town thinks tues to any of her other sisters. her a very deserving woman.
Sir Chu. Ay, ay, my lord; virtues in a wife are Ld Fop. If she were a woman of the town, good for nothing but to make her proud, and put perhaps I should think so too; but she happens the world in mind of her husband's faults. to be my wife, and, when a wife is once given to Ld Fop. Right, Charles : and strike me blind,