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Enter Servant. Ser. Sir, the music's come.

D. Mun. Ah, they could never take us in a better time-let them enter-Ladies, and sous and daughters, for I think you are all akin to me now, will you be pleased to sit ?

[After the entertainment. D. Man. Come, gentlemen, now our collation waits.

Enter Servant. Sero. Sir, the priest's come.

D. Man. That's well; we'll dispatch him presently.

D. Phi. Now, my Hypolita,
Let our example teach mankind to love,
From thine the fair their favours may improve;
To the quick pains you give our joys we owe,
Till those we feel, these we can never know.
But warned with honest hope from my success,
Even in the height of all its miseriss,
Oh, never let a virtuous mind despair,
For constant hearts are love's peculiar care.

[Exeunt omnes.

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EPILOGUE.

'Mongst all the rules the ancients had in vogue,

Shall we not say We find no nention of an epilogue,

Old English honour now revives again, Which plainly shows they're innovations, brought Memorably fatal to the pride of Spain; Since rules, design, and nature, were forgot ; But hold The custom therefore our next play shall break, While Anne repeats the vengcance of Eliza's But now a joyful motive bids us speak;

reign! For while our arms return with conquest home, For to the glorious conduct sure that drew While children prattle Vigo and the boom, A senate's grateful vote our adoration's due; Is't fit the mouth of all mankind, the stage, be From that alone all other thanks are poor, dumb?

The old triumphing Romans ask'd no more, While the proud Spaniards read old annals o'er, And Rome indeed gave all within its power. And on the leaves in lazy safety pore,

But your superior stars, that knew too well Essex and Raleigh thunder on their shore ; You English heroes should old Rome's excel, Again their donships start and mend their speed, To crown your arms beyond the bribes of spoil

, With the same fear of their forefathers dead. Raised English beauty to reward your toil: While Amadis de Gaul laments in vain,

Though seized of all the rifled world had lost, And wishes his young Quixote out of Spain: So fair a circle (To the bores.] Rome could never While foreign forts are but beheld and seized,

boast. While English hearts tumultuously are pleased, Proceed, auspicious Chiefs ! inflame the war, Shall we, whose sole subsistence purely flows Pursue your conquest, and possess the fair, From minds in joy, or undisturbed repose, That ages may record of them and you, Shall we behold each face with pleasure glow, They only could inspire what you alone could do. Unthankful to the arms that made them so?

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THB

CARELESS HUSBAND.

BY

CIBPER

PROLOGUE.

Of all the various vices of the age,

We rather think the persons fit for plays, And shoals of fools exposed upon the stage, Are they whose birth and education says How few are lasht that call for satire's rage! They've every help that should improve mankind, What can you think to see our plays so full Yet still are slaves to a vile tainted mind; Of madmen, coxcombs, and the drivelling fool? Such as in wit are often seen to abound, Of cits, of sharpers, rakes and roaring bullies, And yet have some weak part where folly's found: Of cheats, of cuckolds, aldermen and cullies ? For follies sprout, like weeds, highest in fruitful Would not one swear, 'twere taken for a rule,

ground. That satire's rod, in the dramatic school, And, 'tis observed, the garden of the mind Was only meant for the incorrigible fool? To no infestive weed's so much inclined As if too vice and folly were confined

As the rank pride that some from affectation To the vile scum alone of human kind,

find : Creatures a muse should scorn; such abject A folly too well known to make its court trash

With most success among the better sort. Deserves not satire's, but the hangman's lash. Such are the persons we to-day provide, Wretches, so far shut out from sense of shame, And nature's fools for once are laid aside. Newgate or Bedlam only should reclaim; This is the ground on which our play we build, For satire ne'er was meant to make wild monsters But in the structure, must to judgment yield: tame.

And where the poet fails in art, or care, No, sirs

We beg your wonted mercy to the player.

DRAMATIS PERSONÆ.

MEN.
Lord MORELOVE, attached to Lady Betty.
Lord FOPPINGTON, a Corcomb of Fashion.
Sir CHARLES EAsy, the Careless Husband.
Serdant.

WOMEN.
Lady BETTY Modish, attached to Lord More.

love.
Lady Easy, Wife to Sir Charles.
Lady GRAVEAIRS, a Woman of Intrigue.
Mrs EDGING, Woman to Lady Easy.

SCENE,Windsor.

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down, after he came in from hunting, he sent me SCENE I.- Sir CHARLES EASY's Lodgings. into his dressing.room, to fetch his snuff-box out

of his waistcoat pocket; and so, as I was searchEnter Lady Easy.

ing for the box, madam, there I found this wickLady Easy. Was ever woman's spirit, by an ed letter from a mistress; which I had no sconinjurious husband, broke like mine? A vile licen- er read, but, I declare it, my very blood rose at tious man! must be bring home his follies, too? him again ; methought I could have torn him Wrong me with my very servant ! O! how te- and her to pieces. dious a relief is patience ! and yet, in my condi- Lady Easy. Intolerable! This odious thing's tion, 'tis the only remedy: for to reproach him jealous of him hierself, and wants me to join with my wrongs, is taking on myself the means of with her in a revenge upon him-Sure I am fal. a redress, bidding defiance to his falsehood, and len, indeed! But 'twere to make me lower ret, naturally but provokes him to undo me. The to let her think I understand her. (4x?C. uneasy thought of my continual jealousy may Edg. Nay, pray, madam, read it; you will be teaze him to a fixed aversion; and hitherto, out of patience at it. though he neglects, I cannot think he hates me. Lady Eusy. You are bold, mistress ; has my It must be so: since I want power to please him, indulgence, or your master's good humour, flathe never shall upbraid me with an aitempt of tered you into the assurance of reading his leto making him uneasy-My eyes and tongue shall ters? a liberty I never gave myself-Here--las yet be blind and silent to my wrongs; nor would it where you had it immediately-Should die I have him think my virtue could suspect him, know of your sauciness, 'twould not be my fa. till, by some gross, apparent proof of his misdo- vour could protect you. [Erit Ludy Easy. ing, lie forces me to see-and to forgive it. Edg. Your favour ! marry come up! sure I

don't depend upon your favour! It's not come Enter EDGING, hustily.

to that, I hope. Poor creature !-don't you Edg. O madam!

think I am my master's mistress for nothing. Lady Easy. What's the matter?

You shall find, madam, I won't be snapt up as I Edy. I have the strangest thing to shew your have been-Not but it vexes me to think she ladyship —such a discovery

should not be as uneasy as I. I am sure he is a Lady Eusy. You are resolved to make it with base man to me, and I could cry my eyes out out much ceremony, I find. What's the business, that she should not think him as bad to her every

jot. If I am wronged, sure she may very well Edg. The business, mailam! I have not pa- | expect it, that is but his wife-A conceited thing tience to tell you; I am out of breath at the very -she need not be so casy, neither-I am as handthoughts on't ; I shall not be able to speak this some as she, I hope-Here's my master-I'll half hour.

try whether I am to be huffed by her or no. Lady Easy. Not to the purpose, I believe!

(Walks behind. but, methinks, you talk impertinently with a great deal of ease.

Enter Sir CHARLES EASY. Edg. Nay, madam, perhaps not so impertinent Sir Cha. So! The day is come again !-Life as your ladyship thinks; there is that will speak but rises to another stage, and the same dull jourto the purpose, I am sure—A base man

ney is before us. How like children do we judge

[Gives a letter. of happiness! When I was stinted in my fortune, Lady Eusy. What is this? An open letter! almost every thing was a pleasure to me, because Whence comes it?

most things then being out of my reach, I tad Edg. Nay, read it, madam; you will soon always the pleasure of hoping for them; now guess- If these are the tricks of husbands, keep fortune's in my hand, she is as insipid as an old me a maid still, say I.

acquaintance-It is mighty silly faith! Just the Lady Eusy. (Looking on the superscription.] same thing by my wife, too; I am told she is er. To Sir Charles Easy ! Ha! Too well I know tremely handsome-nay, and have heard a great this hateful hand. O my heart ! but I must veil many people say, she is certainly the best womy jealousy, which 'tis not fit this creature man in the world-Why, I don't know but she should suppose I am acquainted with. [Aside.] may; yet I could never find that her person or This direction is to your inaster; how came you good qualities gave me any concern. In my ere

the woman has no more charms than my mother. Edg. Why, madam, as my master was lying Edg. Hum! he takes no notice of me vet

pray?

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by it?

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I'll let him see I can take as little notice of him. Sir Cha. And your ladyship's pretty curiosity [She wulks by him gruvely ; he turns her about has looked it over, I presume-ha?

I und holds her; she struggles.] Pray, sir !

(Shakes her again. Sir Chu. A pretty pert air, that--I'll humour Èdg. O lud! dear sir, don't be angry-indeed it-What's the matter, child? Are not you well? I'll never touch one again. Kiss mc, hussy.

Sir Chu. I don't believe you will, and I'll tell Edy. No, the dence fetch me if I do! you how you shall be sure you never will.

Sir Cha. Has any thing put thce out of hu- Edg. Yes, sir. mour, love?

Sir Chu. By stedfastly believing, that the next Edy. No, sir, 'tis not worth my being out of time you offer it, you will have your pretty white humour at-though, if ever you have any thing neck twisted behind you. to say to me again, I'll be burned.

Edg. Yes, sir.

[Curt'sying. Sir Cha. Somebody has belied me to thec. Sir Chu. And you will be sure to remember

Edg. No, sir, 'uis you have belied yourself to every thing I have said to you? me-Did not I ask you, when you first made a Edg. Yes, sir. fool of me, if you would be always constant to Sir Cha. And now, child, I was not angry with me? and did not you say I might be sure you your person, but your follies; which, since I find would? And here, instead of that, you are going you are a little sensible of—don't be wholly dison in your old intrigue with my lady Gravcairs. couraged--for I believe I--I shall have occasion Sir Chu. So

for

you againEdg. Beside, clon't you suffer my lady to huff Eug. Yes, sir. me every day as if I were her dog, or had no Sir Chu. In the mean time, let me hear no more more concern with you—I declare I won't bear of your lady, child. it, and she sha'n't think to huff ine-for aught Edg. No, sir. I know, I am as agreeable as she: and though Sir Cha. Here she comes : be gone! she dares not take any notice of your baseness Edg. Yes, sir-Oh! I was never so frightened to her, you sha'n't think to use me so--and sn, in my life.

[Exit. pray, take your nasty letter I know the hand Sir Cha. So! good discipline makes good solwell enough-for my part, I won't stay in the diers--It often puzzles me to think, from my family to be abused at this rate; I that have re- own carelessness, and my wife's continual good fused lords and dukes for your sake. I'd have humour, whether she really knows any thing of you to know, sir, I have had as many blue and the strength of my forces, I'll sift her a little. green ribbons after me, for aught I know, as would have made me a falbala apron.

Enter Lady Easy. Sir Chu. My lady Graveairs ! my nasty letter! My dear, how do you do? You are dressed very and I won't stay in the family! Death! I'm in early to-day: are you going out? a pretty condition ! - What an unlimited privi- Lady Easy. Only to church, my dear. lege has this jade got from being a whore !

Sir Chu. Is it so late, then? Edg. I suppose, sir, you think to use every bo- Lady Eusy. The bell has just rung. dy as you do your wife.

Sir Cha. Well, child, how does Windsor air Şir Cha. My wife! hah! Come hither, Misagree with you? Do you find yourself any better Edging; hark you, drab.

yet? or have you a mind to go to London again [Seizing her by the shoulder. Lady Easy. No, indeed, my dear; the air is so Elg. Oh!

very pleasant, that it it were a place of less comSir Chu. When you speak of my wife, you are pany, I could be content to end my days here. to say your lady, and you are never to speak of Sir Chu. Pr’ythee, my dear, what sort of coinjour lady to me in any regard of her being my pany would most please you? wife-for, look you, child, you are not her strum- Lady Easy. When business would permit it, pet, but mine; therefore, I only give you leave to yours; and, in your absence, a sincere friend, that be saucy with me. In the next place, you are were truly happy in an honest husband, to sit a never to suppose there is any such person as my cheerful hour, and talk in mutual praise of our lady Graveairs; and lastly, my pretty one, how condition. came you by this letter?

Sir Cha. Are you then really very happy, my Edg. It's no matter, perhaps.

dear Sir Cha. Ay, but if you should not tell me Lady Easy. Why should you question it? quickly, how are you sure I won't take a great

(Smiling on him. piece of flesh out of your shoulder, my dear? Sir Cha. Because I fancy I am not so good to

(Shakes her. you as I should be. Edg. O lud ! O lud! I will tell you, sir.

Lady Easy. Pshaw! Sir Cha. Quickly then.

Sir Chu. Nay, the deuce take me if I don't Eug. Oh! I took it out of your pocket, sir. really confess myself so bad, that I have often Sir Chu. When ?

wondered how any woman of your sense, rank, Edg. Oh ! this morning, when you sent me for and person, could think it worth her while tó your snuff-box.

have so many uscless good qualities. VOL. III.

2 s

a kiss.

pose you had ?

Lady Easy. Fie, my dear!

dence take me, if I would not as soon have an Sir Cha. By my soul, I am serious !

affair with thy woman. Lady Easy. I cannot boast of my good quali- Lady Easy. Indeed, my dear, I should as soon ties, nor, if I could, do I believe you think them suspect you with one as t'other. useless.

Sir Chu. Poor dear-shouldst thou-give me Sir Cha. Nay, I submit to you-Don't you find them so? Do you perceive that I am one tittle Lady Easy. Pshaw! you don't care to kiss me. the better husband for your being so good a wife? Sir Cha. By my soul, I do!- I wish I may

Lady Easy. Pshaw! you jest with me. die, if I don't think you a very fine woman!

Sir Cha. Upon my life I don't–Tell me truly, Lady Easy. I only wish you would think me was you never jealous of me?

a good wife. (Kisses her.) But pray, my dear, Lady Easy. Did I ever give you any sign of it? what has made you so strangely inquisitive?

Sir Cha. Üm—that's true-but do you really Sir Cha. Inquisitive!-Why-a—I don't know; think I never gave you occasion ?

one is always saying one foolish thing or another Lady Easy. That's an odd question-but sup -Toll le roll! [Sings and talks.] My dear, what!

are we never to have any ball here! Toll le roll! Sir Cha. Why then, what good has your vir- I fancy I could recover my dancing again, if I tue done you, since all the good qualities of it would but practise. Toll lol loll ! could not keep me to yourself?

Lady Easy. This excess of carelessness to me Lady Easy. What occasion have you given excuses half his vices. If I can make bim once me to suppose I have not kept you to myself? think seriously—Time yet may be my friend. Sir Cha. I given you occasion-Fie! My dear

[Aside. -you may be sure-1-look you, that is not the thing, but still a-(death! what a blunder have I

Enter a Servant. made?)-a-still, I say, madam, you sha'n't make Sero. Sir, Lord Morelove gives his serviceme believe you have never been jealous of me; Sir Cha. Lord Morelove? where is he?not that you ever had any real cause, but I know Sert. At the Chocolate-house; he called me women of your principles have more pride than to bim as I went by, and bid me tell your honour those that have no principles at all; and where he'll wait upon you presently. there is pride, there must be some jealousy- Lady Eusy. I thought you had not expected

I so that, if you are jealous, my dear, you know you him here again this season, my dear. wrong me, and

Sir Cha. I thought so, too; but you see there's Lady Easy. Why then, upon my word, my dear, no depending upon the resolution of a man that's I don't know that ever I wronged you that way in love. in my life.

Lady Eusy. Is there a chair? Sir Cha. But suppose I had given a real cause Sero. Yes, madam.

(Exit Servant. to be jealous, how would you do then ?

Lady Easy. I suppose Lady Betty Modish has Lady Easy. It must be a very substantial one drawn him hither. that makes me jealous.

Sir Cha. Ay, poor soul, for all his bravery, Şir Chai. Say it were a substantial one; sup. I am afraid so. pose, now, I were well with a woman of your own Lady Easy. Well, my dear, I ha'n't time to ask acquaintance, that, under pretence of frequent my lord how he does now; you'll excuse me to visits to you, should only come to carry on an al- him, but I hope you'll make him dine with us. fair with me-suppose, now, my lady Graveairs Sir Cha. I'll ask him. If you see Lady Betty and I were great ?

at prayers, make her dine, too: but don't take any Lady Easy. Would I could not suppose it! notice of my lord's being in town.

(Aside. Lady Easy. Very well ! if I should not meet Sir Chu. If I come off here, I believe I am pret- her there, I'll call at her lodgings. ty safe (Aside.]-Suppose, I say, my lady Grave. Sir Cha. Do so. airs and I were so very familiar, that not only Lady Easy. My dear, your servant. yourself, but half the town should see it?

(Erit Lady Easy. Ludy Eusy. Then I should cry myself sick in Sir Cha. My dear, I'm yours.---Well! one some dark closet, and forget my tears when you way or other, this woman will certainly bring spoke kindly to me.

about her business with me at last; for though Sir Chu. The most convenient piece of virtue, she cannot make me happy in her own person, sure, that ever wife was mistress of. [Aside. she lets me be so intolerably easy with the wo

Lady Eusy. But pray, my dear, did you ever men that can, that she has at least brought me think that I had any ill thoughts of iny lady into a fair way of being as weary of them, too. Graveairs?

Sir Chu. O fie, child! only you know she and Enter Servant und Lord MORELOVE. I used to be a little free sometimes ; so I had a Serv. Sir, my lord's come. mind to see if you thought there was any barm in Ld More. Dear Charles ! it; but since I find you so very easy, I think myself Sir Cha. My dear lord ! this is an happiness obliged to tell you, that, upon my soul, my dear, undreamt of ; I little thought to have seen you I have so little regard to her person, that the at Windsor again this season! I concluded, of

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