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motive ever so just or generous, but still the ma- You ha'n't the right use of one of your senses
Enter a Servant.
Sero. Madam, the priest is come.
(Flourish. Elo. Let him wait, we've no occasion yet Sero. Madam, the gentlemen are come. Within, there seize him. E10. 'Tis well; are the officers ready?
(Severul Officers rush in, who seize CLODIO, Serv. Yes, madam, and know your ladyship’s and bind him. orders.
D. Du. Ha ! Elv. Conduct the company. Now, justice shall Gov. What can this mean? uncloud my fame, and see my brother's death re- Clo. Gads me! what, is my deary in her frovenged.
Elo. And now, my lord, your justice on that Enter hautboys playing, Clodio singing, D.
murderer. DUART, Governor, D. MANUEL, LOUISA,
Goo. How, madam ! Carlos, ANGELINA, ANTONIO, CHARINO,
Clo. That bitch, my fortune! and D. Lewis.
D. Lew. Madam, upon my knees, I beg you Clo. Well, madam, you see I am punctual - don't carry the jest too far; but if there be any you've nicked your man, faith ; I am always criti- real hopes of his having a halter, let's know it in cal-to a minute. You'll never stay for me. La- three words, that I may be sure at once for ever, dies and gentlemen, I desire you'll do me the ho- that no earthly thing but a reprieve can save nour of being better acquainted here—my lord him.
(Apart to ELVIRA. Gov. Give you joy, madam.
Ant. Pray, madam, who accuses him? Clo. Nay, madam, I have brought you some Elv. His own confession, sir. near relations of my own, 100 -This Don An- Cha. Of murder, say you, madam? tonio, who will shortly have the honour to call Elo. The murder of my brother. you daughter.
Goo. Where was that confession made ? Ant. The young rogue has made a pretty Elo. After the fact was done, my lord, this choice, faith!
man, pursued by justice, took shelter here, and, Clo. This Don Charino, who was very near ha- trembling, begged of me for my protection : he ving the honour of calling me son. This my el- seemed, indeed, a stranger, and his complaints der brother-and this my noble uncle, Don Cho- so pitiful, that I, little suspicious of my brother's leric Sisapshorto de Testy.
death, promised, by a rash and solemn vow, I D. Lew. Puppy!
would conceal him: which vow, Heaven can Clo. Peevish!
witness with what distraction in my thoughts I D. Lew. Madam, I wish you joy with all my strictly kept, and paid ; but he, alas! mistaking beart; but, truly, I cann't much advise you to this my hospitable charity for the effects of a marry this gentleman; because, in a day or two, most vile, preposterous love, proceeds upon his you'll really find him extremely shocking: those, error, and in his letter, here, addresses me for ibat know him, generally give him the title of marriage; which I, once having paid my vow, Don Dismallo Thickscullo de Halfwitto.
answered in such prevailing terms, upon
his fola Clo. Well said, nuncleha, ha!
ly, as now have, unprotected, drawn him into D. Du. Are you provided of a priest, sir? the hands of justice.
Clo. Ay, ay, pox on him! would he were D. Du. She is innocent, and well has disapcome, though?
pointed my revenge.
(Aside. D. Du. So would I. I want the cue to act D. Lew. So, now I am a little easy—the pupthis justice, on my honour; yet I cannot read py will be hanged. the folly in her looks.
(Aside. Gov. Give me leave, madam, to ask you yet Goo. You have surprised us, madam, by this some farther questions. sudden marriage.
Clo. Ay,- I shall be hanged, I believe.
D. Du. Sir, don't you think your bride looks daughter; for I am convinced that my friend melancholy
Clody is disposed of—and so, without comClo. Ay, poor fool, she's modest—but I have pliment, do you see, children, Heaven bless you a cure for that—Well, my princess, why that together. demure look, now?
(Joins Carlos and ANGELINA's hands. Elv. I was thinking, sir.
Car. This, sir, is a time unfit to thank you as Clo. I know what you think of —You don't we ought. think at all You don't know what to think Ant. Well, brother, I thank you, however; You neither see, hear, feel, smell, nor taste- Charles is an honest lad, and well deserves her;
but poor Clody's ill fortune I could never have to reflect upon my follies past; and, by reflec. suspected.
tion, to reform. D. Leu. Why, you would be positive, though Eld. This is indeed a happy change. you know, brother, I always told you, Dismal Gov. Release the gentleman. would be hanged; I must plague him a little, Clo. Here, Testy, pr’ythce do so much as untie because the dog has been pert with me Clo- this a little. dy, how dost thou do? Ha! why you are tied ! D. Lew. Why, so I will, sirrah ; I find thou Clo. I hate this old fellow, split me!
hast done a mettled thing; and I don't know D. Lew. Thou hast really made a damned whether it is worth my while to be shocked at blunder here, child, to invite so many people to thee any longer. a marriage-knot, and, instead of that, it is like to Elr. I ask your pardon for the wrong I have be one under the left ear.
done you, sir; and blush to think how much I Clo. I'd fain have him die.
owe you, for a brother thus restored. D. Lew. Well, my dear, I'll provide for thy Clo. Madam, your very humble servant; it is going off, however; let me see-you'll only have mighty well as it is. occasion for a nosegay, a pair of white gloves, D. Du. We are indeed his debtors both; and a coffin: look you, take you no care about and, sister, there's but one way now of being the surgeons, you shall not be anatomized—I'll grateful. For my sake, give him such returns of get the body off with a wet finger-Though, me- love as he may yet think fit to ask, or you, with thinks, I'd fain see the inside of the puppy, too. modesty, can answer. Clo. Oh, rot him! I cann't bear this.
Clo. Sir, I thank you; and when you don't D. Lew. Well, I won't trouble you any more think it impudence in me to wish myself well now, child; if I am not engaged, I don't know with your sister, I shall beg leave to make use of but I may come to the tree, and sing a stave or your friendship. two with thee-Nay, I'll rise on purpose- D. Du. This modesty commends you, sir. though you will hardly suffer before twelve Ant. Sir, you have proposed like a man of o'clock, neither-ay, just about twelve-about honour; and if the lady can but like it, she shall twelve you'll be turned off.
find those anong us, that will make up a forClo. Oh, curse consume him!
tune to deserve her. God. I am convinced, madam; the fact ap- Cur. I wish my brother well; and as I once pears too plain.
offered him to divide my birth-right, I'm ready D. Lew. Yes, yes, be'll suffer.
still to put my words into performance. Goo. What says the gentleman? Do you con- D. Lew. Nay, then, since I find the rogue's fess the fact, sir ?
no longer like to be an enemy to Charles, as far Clo. Will it do any good, my lord ?
as a few acres go, I'll be his friend too. Goo. Perhaps it may, if you can prove it was D. Du. Sister! not done in malice.
Elo. This is no trifle, brother; allow me a Clo. Why, then, to confess the truth, my lord, convenient time to think, and if the gentleman I did pink him, and am sorry for it; but it was continues to deserve your friendship, he shall none of my fault, split me.
not much complain I ain his enemy. Elo. Now, my lord, your justice.
D. Lew. So, now it will be a wedding again, D. Du. Hold, madam, that remains in me to faith! give; for know, your brother lives, and happy Car. Come, my Angelina, in the proof of such a sister's virtue.
Our bark, at length, has found a quiet harbour,
(Discovers himself. And the distressful voyage of our loves Elo. My brother ! Oh, let my wonder speak Ends not alone in safety, but reward. my joy!
Now we unlade our freight of happiness, Člo. Hey!
Of which, from thee alone my share's derived; (CLODIO and his friends seem surprised. For all my former search in deep philosophy, Got. Don Duart! living and well! How came Not knowing thee, was a mere dream of life: this strange recovery?
But love, in one soft moment, taught me more D. Du. My body's health the surgeon has Than all the volumes of the learned could reach restored: but here's the true physician of my Gave me the proof, when nature's birth began, mind: the hot, distempered blood, which lately | To what great end the Eternal formed a man. rendered me offensive to mankind, his just re
(Ereun!. senting sword let forth, which gave me leisure
An epilogue's a tax on authors laid,
(You thought five guineas far beyond her due.) And full as much unwillingly is paid.
But when pursued by some gay, leading lover, Good lines, I grant, are little worth; but yet Then every day her eyes new charms discover; Coin has been always easier raised than wit. Till at the last, by crowds of beaus admired, (I fear we'd made but very poor campaigns, She has raised her price to what her heart deHad funds been levied from the grumbling brains.) sired, Beside, to what poor purpose should we plead, New gowns and petticoats, which her airs reWhen you have once resolved a play shall bleed? quired. But then again, a wretch, in any case,
So, miss, and poet too, when once cried up, Has leave to say why sentence should not pass. Believe their reputation at the top: First, let your censure from pure judgment flow, And know, that while the liking fit has seiz’d you, And mix with that some grains of mercy too; She cannot look, he write, too ill to please you. On some your praise like wanton lovers you be- How can you bear a sense of love so gross, stow.
To let mere fashion on your taste impose? Thus have you known a wonian plainly fair, Your taste refined, might add to your delight: At first scarce worth your two days pains or care; Poets from you are taught to raise their flight; Without a charm, but being young and new, For as you learn to judge, they learn to write.
CRITICS! though plays without your smiles sub
sist, Yet this was writ to reach your generous taste, And not in stern contempt of any other guest. Our humble author thinks a play should be, Though tied to rules, like a good sermon, free From pride, and stoop to each capacity: Though he dares not, like some, depend alone Upon a single character new shewn; Or only things well said, to draw the town. Such plays, like looser beauties, may have power To please, and sport away a wanton hour; But wit and humour, with a just design, Charm, as when beauty, sense, and virtue join. Such was his just attempt, though, 'tis confest, He's only vain enough thave done bis best ; For rules are but the posts that mark the course, Which
the rider should direct his horse ; He that mistakes his ground is easily beat, Though be that runs it true mayn't do the feat ; For 'tis the straining genius that must win the
heat. O’er chokejade to the ditch a jade may lead, But the true proof of Pegasus's breed, Is when the last act turns the lands with Dimple's
speed. View then, in short, the method that he takes : His plot and persons he from nature makes, Who for no bribe of jest he willingly forsakes:
His wit, if any, mingles with his plot,
From his design no person can be spared,
know, In the same case, sure, what their own wou'd do: 1 You best should judge of love, since love is born
WOMEN. Don MANUEL, Father to Rosara.
HYPOLITA, secretly in love with Don Philip. Don PHILIP, slighted by Hypolita.
ROSARA, in love with Octavio. Don Louis, Nephew to Don Manuel.
FLORA, Confidante to Hypolita.
VILETTA, Woman to Rosara.
Hos', Alguazil, and Servants
he's coming post to Madrid to marry another SCENE I.-An Inn in Aladrid.
woman ; nay, one he never saw.
far Enter TRAPPANTI, alone, talking to himself.
engaged him. Indeed, my friend Trappanti, thou’rt in a very Flo. How came he to be engaged to her at all? thin condition ; thou hast neither master, meat, Hyp. Why, I engaged him. nor money: not but, couldst thou part with that Flo. To another! unappeaseable itch of eating, too, thou hast all Hyp. To my whole sex, rather than own I loved the ragged virtues that were requisite to set up an
him. ancient philosopher : contempt and poverty, kicks, Flo. Ah, done like a woman of courage! thumps, and thinking, thou hast endured with the Hyp. I could not bear the thought of parting best of them; but-when fortune turns thee up with my power; besides, he took me at such an to hard fasting, that is to say, positively not eat- advantage, and pressed me so home to a surrending at all, I perceive thou art a downright dunce, er, I could have torn him pieoe-meal. with the same stomach, and no more philosophy, Flo. Ay, I warrant you, an insolent-agreethan a hound upon horse. flesh-Fasting's the able puppy. Well
, but to leave impertinence, devil !—Let me see—this, I take it, is the most madam, pray how came you to squabble with frequented inn about Madrid, and if a keen guest bim? or two should drop in now-Hark!
Hyp. I'll tell thee, Flora :-You know Don Host. (Within.] Take care of the gentlemen's Philip wants no charms that can recommend a horses there; see them well rubbed and littered. lover; in birth and quality, I confess him my su
Trap. Just alighted ! if they do but stay to perior; and it is the thought of that has been a eat now! Impudence assist me. Ha! a couple constant thorn upon my wishes. I never saw of pretty young sparks, faith!
him in the humblest posture, but still I fancied
he secretly presumed his rank and fortune might Enter HYPOLITA and FLORA in men's habits;
deserve me. This always stung my pride, and a Serdant with u portmanteau.
made me overact it: nay, sometimes, when his Trap. Welcome to Madrid, sir; welcome, sir! sufferings have almost drawn tears into my eyes, Flo. Sir, your servant !
I have turned the subject with some trivial talk, Serv. Have the horses pleased your honour? or hummed a spiteful tune, though I believe his
Hyp. Very well indeed, friend. Pr’ythee, set heart was breaking, down the portmanteau, and see that the poor Flo. A very tender principle, truly ! creatures want nothing: they have performed Hyp. Well, I don't know, it was in my nature. well, and deserve our care.
But to proceed- This, and worse usage, continuTrap. I'll take care of that, sir. Here, ostler! ed a long time; at last, despairing of my heart,
(Exeunt TRAP. and Servunt. he then resolved to do a violence on his own, by Flo. And pray, madam, what do I deserve, that consenting to his father's commands of marrying have lost the use of my limbs to keep pace with a lady of considerable fortune here in Madrid.you? 'Sheart! you whipped and spurred like a fox. The match is concluded, articles are sealed, and hunter: it's a sign you had a lover in view : I'm the day is fixed for his journey. Now, the night sure my shoulders ache as if I had carried my before he set out, he came to take his leave of horse on them.
me, in hopes, I suppose, I would have staid him.
I Hyp: Poor Flora! thou art fatigued indeed! I need not tell you my confusion at the news; but I shall find a way to thank thee for't. and though I could have given my soul to have
Flo. Thank me, quotha ! Egad, I sha'n't be deferred it, yet, finding him, unless I bade him able to sit this fortnight. Well, I'ın glad our stay, resolved upon the marriage, I (from the journey's at an end, however; and now, madam, pure spirit of contradiction) swore to myself I pray, what do you propose will be the end of our would not bid him do it; so called for my veil, journey?
and told him I was in haste, begged his pardon, Hyp. Why, now, I hope the end of my wishes your servant, and so whipped to prayers. -Don Philip, I need not tell you how far he is Flo. Well said again ! that was a clincher.in my heart.
Ah, lad not you better been at confession ? Fio. No, your sweet usage of him told me that Hyp. Why, really, I might have saved a long long enough ago; but now, it seems, you think journey by it. To be short, when I came from fit to confess it: and what is it you love hiin for, church, Don Philip had left this letter at home
for me, without requiring an answer---Read Hyp. His manner of bearing that usage. it
Flo. Ah, dear pride ! how we love to have it Flo. (Reads.]“ Your usa e las male me justly tickled ! But he does not bear it, you see, for | despair of you, and now, any change must better