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C. Bas. Mrs Myrtilla, will you be so good as
Enter MANLY. to see if the doctor's ready for us?
Myr. He only staid for you, sir: I'll fetch him Sq. Rich. O lawd! O lawd! he has beaten immediately.
[Exit. my brains out! Jen. Pray, sir, am not I to take place of marama, Man. Hold, hold, Sir Francis; have a little when I'mn a countess?
mercy upon my poor god-son, pray, sir. C. Bas. No doubt on't, my dear.
Sir Frun. Waunds, cozen, I ha'n't patience. Jen. O lud! how her back will be up then, C. Bus. Manly! Nay, then, I'm blown to the when she meets me at an assembly, or you and devil.
(side. I, in our coach and six, at Hyde Park together ! Sq. Rich O my head! my head !
C. Bus. Ay, or when sh hears the box-heepers at an opera call out—The countess of Basset's
Enter Lady WRONGUEAD. servants !
L. Urong. What's the matter here, gentlaJen. Well, I say it, that will be delicious; and men? For fleaven's sake! What, are you murthen, mayhap, to have a fine gentleman, with a dering my children? star and what-d'ye-call-um ribbon, lead me toiny Con. No, no, madam; no murder; only a little chair, with his bat under his arm all the way! suspicion of felony, that's ali. Hold up, says the chairman; and so, says I, my Sir Frun. (To Jen.) And for you, Mrs Hotlord, your humble servant. I suppose, madam, upon't, I could find in my heart to make you wear says lie, we shall see you at my lady Quadrille's that habit as long as you live, you jadło you. Do Ay, ay, to be sure, my lord, says 1--So in swops you know, bussy, that you were within two mime, with my hoop stuffed up to my forehead ; nutes of marrying a pickpocket? and away they trot, swing swang! with my tas- C. Bus. So, so, ili's Olit, I find. (Asiile. sels dangling, and my flambeaux blazing, and Jen. O the mercy! Why, prav, papa, is not Oh, it's a charming thing to be a woman of qua- the count a man of qual ty then? lity!
Sir Fran. O yes; one of the unbanged ones, C. Bas. Well, I see that plainly, my dear, it seems. there's ne'er a duchess of 'em all will become an L. Wrong. [Aside.] Married ! O the confident equipage like you.
thing! There was his urgent business thenJen. Well, well, do you find equipage, and I'll Slighted for her! I ha’n't patience !--and for find airs, I warrant you.
[Sings ought I know, I have been all this while making Sq. Rich. Troth, I think this masquerading's a friendship with a highwayman. the merriest game that ever I saw in my life; Mun. Mr Constable, secure there. thof, in my mind, an there were but a little Sir Frun. Ah, my lady, my lady! this comes wrestling or cudgel-playing now, it would help it of your journey to London; but now I'll have a hugely. But what a-rope makes the parson stay so? frolic of my own, madam; therefore pack up C. Bas. Oh, here he comes, I believe.
your trumpery this very night; for the moment my horses are able to crawl, you and your
brats Enter Myrtilla, with a Constable.
shall make a journey into the country again. Con. Well, madam, pray which is the party L. Ilrong. Indeed you are mistaken, Sir Fran. that wants a spice of my office here?
cis-I shall not stir out of town yet, I promise Myr. That's the gentleman.
you. (Pointing to the Count. Sir Frun. Not stir! Waunds ! MadamC. Bas. Hey-day! What, in masquerade, doc- Mun. Hold, sir !--If you'll give me leave a tor?
little fancy I shall prevail with my lady to Con. Doctor! Sir, I believe you have mistaken think better on't. your man: But if you are called Count Basset, I Sir Fran. Ah, cousin, you are a friend indeed. have a billetdoux in my hand for you, that will Mun (Apart to my Lady.) Look you, madam : set you riglit presently,
as to the favour you designed me, in sending this C. Bas. What the devil's the meaning of all spurious letter inclosed to my laly Grace, all the this?
revenge I have taken is to have saved your son Con. Only my lord-chief-justice's warrant a- and daughter from ruin; now, if you will take gainst you for forgery, sir.
them fairly and quietly into the country again, I ('. Bus. Blood and thunder!
will save your ladyship from ruin. Con. And so, sir, if you please to pull off your
L. Wióng. What do you mean, sir? fool's frock there, I'll wait upon you to the next Mun. Why, Sir Francis—shall never know justice of peace immediately.
what is in this letter : look upon it: How it came Jen. O'dear me! What's the matter?
into my hands you shall know at leisure.
[Trembling. L. Wrong. Ha! my billetsloux to the count, C. Bas. O, nothing: only a masquerading fro- and an appointment in it! I shall sink with conlic, my dear.
fusion ! Sg. Rich, Oh ho, is that all ?
Mun. What shall I say to Sir Francis, madam? Sir frun. No, sirrah, that is not all.
L. Wrong. Dear sir, I am in such a trembling! (Sir Francis coming softly behind the Squire, Preserve my honour, and I am all obedience. knucks him doan with his cune,
[.4 part 10 MANLY.
Ntun. Sir Francis-ny lady is ready to receive as you think it, as a reward for her honesty, in your commands for her journey, whenever you detecting your practices, instead of the forged please to appoint it.
bill you would have put upon her, there's a real Sir Fran. Ah, cousin ! I doubt I am obliged one of five hundred pounds, to begin a new hoto you for it.
[Gives it to MYRTILLA. Man. Come, come, Sir Francis, take it as you C. Bas. Sir, this is so generous an actfind it. Obedience in a wife is a good thing, Mun. No compliments, dear sir-I am not at though it were never so wonderful ! And now, leisure now to receive them. Mr Constable, will sir, we have nothing to do but to dispose of this you be so good as to wait upon this gentleman gentleman.
into the next room, and give this lady in marriage C. Bus. Mr Manly ! Sir, I hope you won't to him?
Cun. Sir, I'll do it faithfully. Mun. Did not you forge this note for five hun- C. Bus. Well, five hundred will serve to make dred pounds, sir?"
a handsome push with, however. C. Bus. Sir--I see you know the world, and
[ Exeunt Count. Myr. and Constable. therefore I shall not pretend to prevaricate
Sir Fran. And that I may be sure my family's But it has hurt nobody yet, sir. 'I beg you will rid of him for ever-come, my lady, let's even not stigmatize me: since you have spoiled my take our children along with us, and be all witfortune in one family, I hope you won't be so ness of the ceremony. crucl to a young fellow, as to put it out of my [Ereunt șir FRAN. L. WRONG. Miss and power, sir, to make it in another, sir.
Squire. Man. Look you, sir, I have not much time to Man. Now, my lord, you may enter. waste with you ; but if you expect mercy yourself, you must shew it to one you have been
Enter Lord and Lady TownLy, and Lady cruel to.
GRACE. C. Bas. Cruel, sir !
Ld Town. So, sir, I give you joy of your negoMan. Have you not ruined this young woman? ciation. C. Bas. I, sir !
Mun. You overheard it all, I presume? Mun. I know you have; therefore you cann't L. Grace. From first to last, sir. blame her, if, in the fact you are charged with, Ld Town. Never were knaves and fools better she is a principal witness against you. However, disposed of. you have one, and one only chance to get off with Nlan. A sort of poetical justice, my lord, not --Marry her this instant--and you take off her much above the judgment of a modern comedy. evidence.
Lil Town. To heighten that resemblance, I C. Bas. Dear sir !
think, sister, there only wants your rewarding the Man. No words, sir: A wise or a mittimus. hero of the fable, by naming the day of his hap
C. Bas. Lord, sir, this is the most unmerciful piness. mercy!
L. Grace. This day, to-morrow, every hour, I Man. A private penance, or a public one. hope, of life to come, will shew I want not incliConstable !
nation to complete it. C. Bas. Hold, sir. Since you are pleased to give Mun. Whatever I may want, madam, you will me my choice, I will not make so ill a compliment always find endeavours to deserve you. to the lady, as not to give her the preference. Ld Town. Then all are happy.
Mun. It must be done this minute, sir: the Lady Toun. Sister, ! give you joy-consumchaplain you expected is still within call.
mate as the happiest pair can boast. C. Bas. Well, sir-since it must be socome, spouse-I am not the first of the fraternity In you, methinks, as in a glass, I see that has run his head into one noose, to keep it The happiness that once advanced to me: out of another.
So visible the bliss, so plain the way, Myr. Come, sir, don't repine : Marriage is, at How was it possible my sense could stray ? worst, but playing upon the square.
But now a convert to this truth I come, C. Bas. Ay, but the worst of the match, too, is That married happiness is never found from the devil.
(Ereunt amals Man. Well, sir, to let you see it is not so bad
SPOKEN BY MRS OLDFIELD:
METHINKS I hear some powdered critics say, But modern consorts are such high-bred creaDamn it! this wife reform’d, has spoil'd the play!
tures, The coxcomb should have drawn her more in They think a husband's power degrades their fashion;
features ; Have gratified her softer inclination ;
That nothing more proclaims a reigning beauty, Have tipt her a gallant, and clinch'd the provo- Than that she never was reproached with duty; cation.
And that the greatest blessing Heaven e'er sent, But there our bard stopt short; for 'twere uncivil Is in a spouse incurious and content. T' have made a modern belle all o'er a devil! To give such dames a different cast of thought, He hop'd, in honour of the sex, the age
By calling home the mind, these scenes were Would bear one mended woman-on the stage.
wrought. From whence you see by common sense's rules If with a hand too rude the task is done, Wives might be govern'd, were not husbands We hope the scheme by Lady Grace laid down fools.
Will all such freedom with the sex atone; Whate'er by Nature dames are prone to do,
That virtue there unsoil'd by modish art, They seldom stray but when they govern you ;
Throws out attractions for a Manly's heart. When the wild wife perceives her deary tame, You, you, then, ladies, 'whose unquestioned No wonder then she plays him all the game.
lives But men of sense meet rarely that disaster; Give you the foremost fame of happy wives, Women take pride where merit is their master : Protect, for its attempt, this helpless play, Nay, she that with a weak man wisely lives, Nor leave it to the vulgar taste a prey ; Will seem t'obey the due commands he gives ! Appear the frequent champions of its cause; Happy obedience is no more a wonder,
Direct the crowd, and give yourselves applause. When men are men, and keep them kindly under:
With smart toupees and powdered clothes, That for a duchess I might pass :
At rivals I'll turn up my nose: Oh, could I see the day!
Oh, could I see the day! Would Fortune but attend my call,
I'll dart such glances from these eyes, At park, at play, at ring, at ball,
Shall make some lord or duke my prize, I'd brave the proudest of them all,
And then, oh! how I'll tyrannize, With a Stand by-Clear the way.
With a Stand by-Clear the way.
Oh, could I see the day !
With a Stand byClear the way.
Now luck for us, and a kind hearty pit ; They cheat, but still from cheating sires they For he who pleases never fails of wit.
come; Honour is yours,
They drink, but they were christ'ned first in mum. And you, like kings at city treats, bestow it ; Their patrimonial sloth the Spaniards keep, The writer kneels, and is bid rise a poet: And Philip, first taught Philip how to sleep: But you are fickle sovereigns, to our sorrow; The French and we still change, but here's the You dub to-day, and hang a man to-morrow;
cry the same sense up and down again, They change for better, and we change for worse; Just like brass money once a-year in Spain : They take up our old trade of conquering, Take you i' the mood, whate'er base metal come, And we are taking theirs, to dance and sing. You coin as fast as groats at Birmingham ;
Our fathers did, for change, to France repair, Though 'tis no more like sense in ancient plays, And they, for change, will try our English air. Than Rome's religion's like St Peter's days: As children, when they throw one toy away, In short, so swift your judgments turn and wind, Strait a more foolish gewgaw comes in play ; You cast our fleetest wits a mile behind.
So we, grown penitent, on serious thinking, 'Twere well your judgments but in plays did Leave whoring, and devoutly fall to drinking. range,
Scowring the watch grows out-of-fashion wit: But even your follies and debauches change Now we set up for tilting in the pit, With such a whirl, the poets of your age
Where 'tis agreed by bullies, chicken-hearted, Are tired, and cannot score them on the stage, To fright the ladies first, and then be parted. Unless each vice in short-hand they indite, A fair attempt has twice or thrice been made Even as notch'd 'prentices whole sermons write. To hire night-murderers, and make death a trade. The heavy Hollanders no vices know,
When murder's out, what vice can we advance ? But what they us’d a hundred years ago ;
Unless the new-found pois’ning trick of France : Like honest plants, where they were stuck they And when their art of rats-bane we have got, grow.
By way of thanks, we'll send them o'er our Plot.
Gomez, an old Usurer.