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bas married a jade, whether she's pleased to Gripe. But is there a necessity, then, they spend her time at home or abroad, had better should ruin somebody? have lived a bachelor.
Brass. Yes, marry is there; how would you
have 'em support their expence else? Why, sir, Enter BRASS.
you cann't conceive now- -you cann't conceive Brass. 0, sir, I'm mighty glad I have found what Araminta's privy purse requires. Only her you.
privy purse, sir! Why, what do you imagine, now, Gripe. Why, what's the matter, pr’ythce ? she gave me for the last letter I carried her from Bruss. Can nobody hear us?
? 'Tis true, 'twas from a man she liked, else, Gripe. No, no; speak quickly.
perhaps, I had had my bones broke. But what Bruss. You ha’n't seen Araminta since the do you think she gave me? last letter I carry'd her from you?
Gripe. Why, mayhap—a shilling. Gripe. Not I: I go prudently; I don't press Brass. A guinea, sir, a guinea. You see by things like your young firebrand lovers.
that how fond she was on it, by the by. But Bruss. But, seriously, sir, are you very much then, sir, her coach-bire, her chair-bire, her pia. in love with her ?
money, her play-money, her china, and her chaGripe. As mortal man has been.
rity-would consume peers. A great soul, a very Brass. I'm sorry for't.
great soul! But what's the end of all this? Gripe. Why so, dear Brass ?
Gripe. Ha! Brass. If you were never to see her more now! Bruss. Why, I'll tell you what the end issuppose such a thing, d’you think ’twould break
Gripe. A nunnery! Gripe. Oh!
Brüss. A nunnery:
- In short, she is at last Brass. Nay, now I see you love her; would reduced to that extremity, and attacked with such you did not.
a battalion of duns, that rather than tell her Gripe. My dear friend !
husband, (who, you know, is such a dog, lie'd let Brass. I'm in your interest deep; you see it. her go, if she did,) she has e'en determined to
Gripe. I do: but speak—what miserable story turn papist, and bid the world adieu for life. hast thou for me?
Gripe. O terrible! A papist ! Brass. I had rather the devil had-phu-flown Bruss. Yes, when a handsome woman has away with you quick, than to see you so much brought herself into difficulties, the devil cana't in love, as I perceive you are, since
help her out of To a nunnery, that's another Gripe. Since what?-ho?
rule, sir. Brass. Araminta, sir.
Gripe. But, but, but, pr’ythee, Brass, butGripe. Dead?
Brass. But all the buts in the world, sir, won't Brass. No.
stop her: She is a woman of a noble resolution. Gripe. How then:
So, sir, your humble servant. I pity her; I pity Brass. Worse.
you: Turtle and mate. But the Fates will have Gripe. Out with it.
it so: all is pack'd up, and I am now going to call Brass. Broke.
her a coach ; for she resolves to slip off without Gripe. Broke!
saying a word: and the next visit she receives Bruss. She is, poor lady, in a most unfortunate from her friends will be through a melancholy situation of affairs. But I have said too much. grate, with a veil instead of a top-knot. (Guing.
Gripe. No, no; 'tis very sad, but let's hear it. Gripe. It must not be; by the powers it must Brass. Sir, she charged me, on my life, never not; she was made for the world, and the world
; to mention it to you, of all men living.
was made for her. Gripe. Why, who shouldst thou tell it to, but Bruss. And yet you see, sir, how small a share to the best of her friends ?
she has vn't. Brass. Ay, why, there's it now; it's going just Gripe. Poor woman! Is there no way to save as I fancy'd. Now will I be hanged if you are her? not enough in love to be engaging in this matter. Brass. Save her! No; how can she be saved ? But I must tell you, sir, that as much concern as Why, she owes above five hundred pounds. I have for that most excellent, beautiful, agreea
Gripe. Oh! ble, distressed, unfortunate lady, I'm too much Bruss. Five hundred pounds, sir. She's like to your friend and servant, ever to let it be said be saved indeed—Not but that I know them 'twas the means of your being ruined for a wo- in this town would give me one of the five, if I
- by letting you know she esteemed you would persuade her to accept of the other four; more than
but she has forbid me mentioning it to any soul Gripe. Ruined ! What dost thou mean? living; and I have disobeyed her only to you;
Bruss. Mean! Why, mean that women al- and so -I'll go and call a coach. ways ruin those that love 'em ; that's the rule. Gripe. Hold-Dost think, my poor Brass, one Gripe. The rule !
might not order it so, as to compound those debts Bráss. Yes, the rule. Why, would you have’em for--for--twelve pence in the pound? ruin those that don't? How shall they bring that Brass. Sir, d’ye hear? I have already try'd'en about?
with ten shillings, and not a rogue will prick up
his ear at it. Though, after all, for three hundred | her mistress and Araminta, of my passion for pounds, all in glittering gold, I could set their chaps the young gentlewoman ; and truly, to oblige me, a watering. But where's that to be had with (supposed no ill match by the by,) they are rehonour? there's the thing, sir-I'll go and call solved to propose it immediately to her father. a coach.
Brass. That's the devil! we shall come to paGripe. Hold once more: I have a note in my pers and parchments, jointures and settlements, closet of two hundred, ay—and fifty, I'll go and relations meet on both sides : that's the devil. give it her myself.
Dick. I intended this very day to propose to Brass. You will! very genteel truly. Go, slap- Flippanta the carrying her off: And I'm sure dash, and offer a woman of her scruples money, the young housewife would have tuck'd up her bolt in her face! why you might as well offer her coats, and have march’d. a scorpion, and she'd as soon touch it.
Brass. Ay, with the body and the soul of Gripe. Shall I carry it to her creditors then, her. and treat with them?
Dick. Why then, what damn'd luck is this? Brass. Ay, that's a rare thought.
Brass. 'Tis your damn'd luck, not mine: I Gripe. Is not it, Brass ?
have always seen it in your ugly phiz, in spite of Brass. Only one little inconvenience by the your powdered periwig-pox take ye--he'll way.
be hanged at last. Why don't you try to get her Gripe. As how?
off yet? Brass. That they are your wife's creditors as Dick. I have no money, you dog; you know well as her's; and perhaps it might not be alto you have stript me of every penny. gether so well to see you clearing the debts of Brass. Coine, damn it, I'll venture one cargo your neighbour's wife, and leaving those of your more upon your rotten bottom: but if ever I see own unpaid.
one glance of your hempen fortune again, l'ın off Gripe. Why that's true now.
your partnership for ever- -I shall never thrive Brass. I'm wise, you see, sir.
with him. Gripe. Thou art; and I'm but a young lover : Dick. An impudent rogue ; but he's in possesBut what shall we do then?
sion of my estate, so I must bear with him. Brass. Why I'm thinking, that if you give me
(Aside. the note, do you see, and that I promise to give Bruss. Well, come, I'll raise a hundred pounds you an account of it
for your usc, upon my wife's jewels here ; [PullGripe. Ay, but look you, Brass—
ing out the necklace.] her necklace shall pawn Brass. But look you!—Why what, d'ye think for't. I'm a pick-pocket? D’ye think I intend to run Dick. Remember though that if things fail, away with your note, your paltry note?
I'm to have the necklace again; you know you Gripe. I don't say so---I say only, that in agreed to that?
Brass. Yes, and if I make it good, you'll be Brass. Case, sir! there's no case, but the case the better for't; if not, I shall: so you see I have put you; and since you heap cases upon where the cause will pinch. cases, where there is but three hundred rascally Dick. Why, you barbarous dog, you won't of pounds in the case- -I'll go and call a coach.
fer to Gripe. Pr’ythee don't be so testy; come, no Brass. No words now; about your business, more words; follow me to my closet, and I'll give march. Go stay for me at the next tavern : I'll thee the money.
go to Flippanta, and try what I can do for you. Bruss. A terrible effort you make indeed; you Dick. Well, I'll go, but don't think to- -O are so much in love, your wits are all upon the pox, sir
(Exit Dick, wing, just going; and for three hundred pounds
BRASS solus. you put a stop to their flight : Sir, your wits are worth that, or your wits are worth nothing. Bruss. Will you be gone? A pretty title you'd Come away.
have to sue me ppon truly, if I should have a Gripe. Well, say no more, thou shalt be sa- mind to stand upon the defensive, as perhaps I tisfied,
[Exeunt. may ; I have done the rascal service enough to
lull my conscience upon it, I'm sure: But 'tis Enter Dick
time enough for that. Let me see- -first I'll Dick. S't- -Brass ! S't
go to Flippanta, and put a stop to this family
way of match-making, then sell our necklace for Re-enter BRASS,
what ready money it will produce; and, by this Brass. Well, sir ?
time to-morrow, I hope we shall be in possession Dick. 'Tis not well, sir, 'tis very ill, sir; we of- t'other jewel here; a precious jewel, as shall be all blown up:
she's set in gold: I believe for the stone itself Brass. What, with pride and plenty ? we may part with it again to a friendDick. No, sir, with an officious slut that will tester.
[Exit. spoil all. In short, Flippanta has been telling
- for a
Cor. One, two, three, and away.
Flip. And prevent your mother's speaking Enter BRASS and FLIPPANTA.
on't. Brass. Well, you agree I'm in the right, don't Cor. But is t'other way sure, Flippanta? you?
Flip. Fear nothing; it will only depend upon Flip. I don't know; if your master has the you. estate he talks of, why not do it all above-board? Cor. Nay then- ho, ho, ho, how pure that Well, though I am not much of his mind, I'm is!
[Exit CORINNA. much in his interest, and will therefore endeavour to serve him in his own way,
FLIPPANTA sola. Brass. That's kindly said, my child, and I be- Poor child ! we may do what we will with her, lieve I shall reward thee one of these days, with as far as marrying her goes; when that's over, as pretty a fellow to thy husband for it, as 'tis possible she may not prove altogether so
Flip. Hold your prating, Jack-a-dandy, and tractable. But who's here ? my sharper, I think: leave me to my business.
Yes. Brass. I obey-adieu. (Kisses her.]
Enter MONEY-TRAP. Flip. Rascal !
Mon. Well, my best friend, how go matters?
Has the restitution been received, ha ? Was she Enter CORINNA.
pleased with it? Cor. Ah, Flippanta, I'm ready to sink down, Flip. Yes, truly; that is, she was pleased to my legs tremble under me, my dear Flippy. see there was so honest a man in this immoral Flip. And what's the affair ?
age. Cor. My father's there within, with my mo- Mon. Well, but a-does she know that it ther and Araminta ; I never saw him in so good was I that a humour in my life.
Flip. Why, you must know I begun to give Flip. And is that it that frightens you so ? her a little sort of a hint, and and so-wby,
Cor. Ah, Flippanta, they are just going to and so she began to put on a sort of a severe, speak to him about my marrying the colonel. haughty, reserved, angry, forgiving air. But soft;
Flip. Are they so ? so much the worse; they here she comes: you'll see how you stand with are too hasty.
her presently: but don't be afraid. Courage. Cor. O no, not a bit; I slipt out on purpose, Mon. He, hem. you must know, to give them an opportunity; would it were done already.
Enter CLARISSA. Flip. I tell you no; get you in again immedi- | 'Tis no small piece of good fortune, madam, to ately, and prevent it.
at home: I have often endeavoured it Cor. My dear, dear, I am not able; I never was in such a way before.
Clar. 'Twas then unknown to me; for if I Flip. Never in a way to be married before, could often receive the visits of so good a friend ha? is not that it ?
at home, I should be more reasonably blamed for Cor. Ah, lord, if I'm thus before I come to it, being so much abroad. Flippanta, what shall I be upon the very spot? Mon. Madam, you make meDo but feel with what a thumpaty thump it goes. Clar. You are the man of the world whose
(Putting her hand to her heart. company I think is most to be desired. I don't Flip. Nay, it does make a filthy bustle, that's compliment you when I tell you so, I assure the truth on't, child; but I believe I shall make you. it leap another way, when I tell you, I'm cruelly Mon. Alas, madam, your poor humble ser. afraid your father won't consent, after all,
vantCor. Why, he won't be the death of me, will Clar. My poor humble servant however (with he?
all the esteem I have for him) stands suspected Flip. I don't know, old folks are cruel; but with me for a vile trick, I doubt he has play'd we'll have a trick for him. Brass and I have me, which if I could prove upon him, I'm afraid been consulting upon the matter, and agreed up- I should punish him very severely, on a surer way of doing it in spite of his teeth. Mon. I hope, madam, you'll believe I am not
Cor. Ay, marry, sir, that were something. capable of
look you, you are capable of any thing towards it.
whatever you please, you have a great deal of Cor. No, no.
wit, and know how to give a nice and gallant Flip. So, get you in immediately.
turn to every thing: but if you will have me
continue your friend, you must leave me in some uncertainty in this matter.
SCENE II.-Opens. Mion. Madam, I do then protest to you
Clar. Come, protest nothing about it; I am but ARAMINTA, CORINNA, GRIPE, und Moner. too penetrating, as you may perceive: but we
TRAP at a Tea-table, very gay and laughing:
CLARISSA comes in to them. sometimes shut our eyes, rather than break with our friends; for a thorough knowledge of the
Omnes. Ha ! lia! ha! ha! truth of this business would make me very seri- Non. Mighty well, O mighty well indeed ! ously angry:
Clar. Save you, save you, good folks, you are Nlon. "I'is very certain, madam, that
all in rare humour methinks. Clar. Come, say no more on't, I beseech you, Gripe. Why, what should we be otherwise for, for I'm in a good deal of heat while I but think madam ? on't; if you'll walk in, I'll follow
Clar. Nay, I don't know, not I, my dear; Mon. Your goodness, madam, is
but I ha'n't had the happiness of seeing you so Flip. War, horse. (Aside to MONEY-TRAP.] since our honey-moon was over, I think. No fine speeches, you'll spoil all.
Gripe. Why, to tell you the truth, my dear, Mon. Thou art a most incomparable person. 'tis the joy of seeing you at home; [Kisses her.] Flip. Nay it goes rarely; but get you in, and You see what charms you have, when you are I'll say a little something to my lady for you, pleased to make use of them. while she is warm.
Arum. Very gallant, truly. Mon. But, hist, Flippanta, how long do'st think Clar. Nay, and what's more, you must know, she may hold out?
he's never to be otherwise henceforwards; we Flip. Phu, not a twelvemonth,
have come to an agreement about it. Mon. Boo.
Mon. Why, here's my love and I have been Flip. Away, I say. (Pushing him out. upon just such another treaty too.
Clar. Is he gone? What a wretch it is! he Arum. Well, sure there's some very peaceful never was quite such a beast before.
star rules at present. Pray Heaven continue its Flip. Poor mortal, his money is finely laid out, reign. truly.
Mon. Pray do you continue its rcign, you laClar. I
suppose there may have been much such dies ; for 'tis all in your power. another scene within between Araminta and my
(Leering at ClaRISSA. dear: but I left him so insupportably brisk, 'tis Gripe. My neighbour Money-trap says true ; impossible he can have parted with any money :
at least I'll confess frankly (Ogling ÀRAMINTA.) I'm afraid Brass has not succeeded as thou hast ’tis in one lady's power to niake me the best-hudone, Flippanta.
mour'd man on earth. Flip. By my faith but he has, and better too; Mon. And I'll answer for another, that has he presents his humble duty to Araminta, and the same over me.
[Ogling ClaRISSA. bas sent her this. (Shewing the note. Clar. 'Tis mighty finc, gentlemen, mighty civil
Clar. A bill from my love for two hundred and husbands indeed. fifty pounds. The monster! he would not part Gripe. Nay, what I say's true, and so true, that, with ten to save his lawful wife from everlasting all quarrels being now at an end, I am willing, if torment.
you please, to dispense with all that fine company Flip. Never complain of his avarice, madam, we talked of to-day, be content with the friendly as long as you have his money.
conversation of our twogood neighbours here, and Clur. But is not he a beast, Flippanta? me- spend all my toying hours alone with my sweet thinks the restitution look'd better by half. wife.
Flip. Madam, the man's beast enough, that's Mon. Why, truly, I think now, if these good certain ; but which way will you go to receive women pleased, we might make up the prettiest his beastly money, for I must not appear with his little neighbourly company between our two fanote ?
milies, and set a defiance to all the impertinent Clur. That's true ; why send for Mrs Amlet; people in the world. that's a mighty useful woman, that Mrs Amlet. Clar. The rascals !
[Aside. Flip. Marry is she; we should have been sram. Indeed I doubt you'd soon grow weary, basely puzzled how to dispose of the necklace if we grew fond. without her; it would have been dangerous offer- Gripe. Never, never, for our wives have wit, ing it to sale.
neighbour, and that never palls. Clar. It would so, for I know your master has Clur. And our husbands have generosity, Arabeen laying out for it amongst the goldsmiths. minta, and that seldom palls. But I stay here too long. I must in and coquet Gripe. So, that's a wipe for me now, because I it a little more to my lover, Araminta will get did not give her a new-year's gift last time; but ground on me else.
(Exil CLARISSA. be good, and I'll think of some tea-cups for you Flip. And I'll go send for Mrs Amlet.
next year. (Exit FLIPPANTA. Mon. And perhaps I may not forget a fan, or as good a thing--hum, hussy.
you : how do
Clar. Well, upon
encouragements, Ara- Brass. Look you, don't trouble yourself about minta, we'll try how good we can be.
that ; it's in commission with me, and I can help Gripe. Well, this goes most rarely : poor Mo- you to a pennyworth on't. ney-trap, he little thinks what makes his wife so
Gripe. A pennyworth on't, villain ? easy in his company [Aside.
[Strikes at him. Mon. I cann't but pity poor neighbour Gripe. Brass. Villain ! a hey, a hey. Is't you or me, Lard, lard, what a fool does his wife and I make Mr Clip, he's pleased to compliment? of him!
Clip. What do you think on't, sir? Clar. Are not these two wretched rogues, Brass. Think on't! now the devil fetch me if Araminta?
[Aside to ARAMINTA. I know what to think on't. Aram. They are indeed. (Aside to CLARISSA. Gripe. You'll sell a pennyworth, rogue, of
a thing you have stolen from me. Enter JESSAMIN,
Bruss. Stolen! pray, sir—what wine have Jes. Sir, here's Mr Clip, the goldsmith, de- you drank to-day? 'it has a very merry effect upsires to speak with you.
on you. Gripe. Cods so, perhaps some news of your Gripe. You villain, either give me an account necklace, my dear.
how you stole it, orClar. That would be news indeed.
Brass. O ho, sir, if you please, don't carry Gripe. Let him come in.
your jest too far, I don't understand hard words,
I give you warning on't: if you ha'n't a mind to Enter Mr CLIP.
buy the necklace, you may let it alone, I know Gripe. Mr Clip, your servant, I'm glad to see how to dispose on't. What a pox !
Gripe. O, you sha'n't have that trouble, sir. Clip. At your service, sir, very well. Your Dear Mr Clip, you may leave the necklace here ; servant, madam Gripe
I'll call at your shop, and thank you for your care. Clar. Horrid fellow !
[Aside. Clip. Sir, your humble servant. (Going. Gripe. Well, Mr Clip, no news yet of my Bruss. O ho, Mr Clip, if you please, sir, this wife's necklace ?
won't do, (Stopping him.) I don't understand Clip. If you please to let me speak with you raillery in such matters. • in the next room, I have something to say to Clip. I leave it with Mr Gripe, do you and you.
he dispute it.
(Erit Clip. Gripe. Ay, with all my heart. Shut the door Brass. Ay, but 'tis from you, by your leave, after us. (They come forward, and the scene shuts sir, that I expect it.
(Going after him behind them. Well, any news?
Gripe. You expect, you rogue, to make your Ciip. Look you, sir, here's a necklace brought escape, do you? but I have other accounts beme to sell, at least very like that you described sides this to make up with you. To be sure to me.
the dog has cheated me of two handred and Gripe. Let's see'ı-Victoria ! the very same. fifty pounds. Come, villain, give me an account Ah, my dear Mr Clip-[Kisses him.) But who ofbrought it you ? you should have seized him. .
Brass. Account of !--sir, give me an account Crip. 'Twas a young fellow that I know : I of my necklace, or I'll make such a noise in cann't tell whether he may be guilty, though it's your house, I'll raise the devil in’t. like enough. But he has only left it me now Gripe. Well said, courage. to shew a brother of our trade, and will call up- Bruss. Blood and thunder, give it me, or on me again presently.
Gripe. Come, hush, be wise, and I'll make Gripe. Wheedle him hither, dear Mr Clip. no noise of this affair. Here's my neighbour Money-trap in the house ; Bruss. You'll make no noise! but I'll make he's a justice, and will commit himn presently. a noise, and a damned noise too. O, don't Clip. 'Tis enough.
Gripe. I tell thee I will not hang thee.
Bruss. But I tell you I will hang you, if you Gripe. O, my friend Brass !
don't give me my necklace, I will, rot me. Bruss. Hold, sir, I think that's a gentleman Gripe. Speak softly, be wise; how came it I'm looking for. —- Mr Clip, O your servant ! thine? who gave it thee? What, are you acquainted here? I have just Brass. A gentleman, a friend of mine. been at your shop.
Gripe. What's bis name? C!p. I only stept here to shew Mr Gripe the Brass. His name !--I'm in such a passion I necklace you left.
have forgot it. Bross. Why, sir, do you understand jewels ? Gripe. Ah, brazen rogue—thou hast stole it [To GRIPE.) 1 thought you had dealt only in from my wife; 'tis the same she lost six wecks ago. gold. But I smoke the matter-Hark you—a Bruss. This has not been in England a month. word in your ear-you are going to play the Gripe. You are a son of a whore. gallrint again, and make a purchase on't for Ara- Brass. Give me my necklace. minta; ba, ha!
Gripe. Give me my two hundred and fifty Gripe. Where had you the necklace?