the Service. This will fave your Lady many an Hour's Vexation.

It fometimes happens, that a Looking-glafs is broken by the fame Means, while you are looking another Way, as you fweep the Chamber, the long End of the Brush striketh against the Glafs, and breaketh it to Shivers. This is the extremest of all Misfortunes, and all Remedy defperate in Appearance, because it is impoffible to be concealed. Such a fatal Accident once happened in a great Family, where I had the Honour to be a Footman; and I will relate the Particulars, to fhew the Ingenuity of the poor Chamber-maid, on fo fudden and dreadful an Emergency, which, perhaps, may help to sharpen your Invention, if your evil Star fhould ever give you the like Occafion : The poor Girl had broke a large Japan Glass, of great Value, with a Stroke of her Brush i she had not confidered long, when, by a prodigious Presence of Mind, the locked the Door, ftole into the Yard, brought a Stone of three, Pounds Weight into the Chamber, laid it on the Hearth juft under the Looking-glafs, then broke a Pane in the Sash-window that looked into the fame Yard, fo fhut the Door, and went about her other Affairs. Two Hours after, the Lady goeth into the Chamber, fees the Glass broken, the Stone lying under, and a whole Pane in the Window deftroyed; from all which Circumstances she concluded, just as the Maid could have wifhed, that fome idle

Straggler

Straggler in the Neighbourhood, or, perhaps, one of the Out-servants, had, through Malice, Accident, or Carelessnefs, flung in the Stone, and done the Mischief. Thus far all Things went well, and the Girl concluded herself out of Danger; but, it was her ill Fortune, that a few Hours after in came the Parson of the Parish, and the Lady (naturally) told him the Accident, which, you may believe, had much discompofed her; but the Minister, who happened to understand Mathematicks, after examining the Situation of the Yard, the Window, and the Chimney, foon convinced the Lady, that the Stone could never reach the Lookingglafs, without taking three Turns to its Flight from the Hand that threw it; and the Maid, being proved to have fwept the Room the fame Morning, was ftrictly examined, but conftantly denied that she was guilty, upon her Salvation, offering to take her Oath, upon the Bible, before his Reverence, that she was innocent as the Child unborn; yet the poor Wretch was turned off, which I take to have been hard Treatment, confidering her Ingenuity; however, this may be a Direction to you in the like Cafe: For Inftance; you might say, that while you were at Work with the Mop, or Brush, a Flash of Lightning came fuddenly in at the Window, which almoft blinded you; that you immediately heard the ringing of broken Glafs on the Hearth; that, as foon as you recovered your Eyes, you faw the Lookingglafs

glafs all broken to Pieces; or, you may alledge, that obferving the Glass a little covered with Duft, and going very gently to wipe it, you fuppofe the Moisture of the Air had diffolved the Glue or Cement, which made it fall to the Ground; or, as foon as the Mischief is done, you may cut the Cords that faftened the Glafs to the Wainscot, and fo let it fall flat on the Ground, run out in a Fright, tell your Lady, curse the Upholsterer, and declare how narrowly you escaped, that it did not fall upon your Head. I offer thefe Expedients, from a Defire I have to defend the Innocent; for innocent you certainly must be, if you did not break the Glass on purpose, which I would by no Means excufe, except upon great Provocations.

Oil the Tongs, Poker, and Fire-fhovel, up to the Top, not only to keep them from rusting, but likewise to prevent meddling People from wafting your Master's Coals with stirring the Fire.

When you are in hafte, fweep the Duft into a Corner of the Room, but leave your Brush upon it, that it may not be feen, for that would difgrace you.

Never wash your Hands, or put on a clean Apron, until you have made your Lady's Bed, for fear of rumpling your Apron, or fouling your Hands again.

When you bar the Window-fhuts of your Lady's Bed-chamber at Nights, leave open the

Safhes,

Safhes, to let in the fresh Air, and sweeten the Room against Morning.

In the Time when you leave the Windows open for Air, leave Books, or fomething else, on the Window-feat, that they may get Air

too.

When you fweep your Lady's Room, never stay to pick up foul Smocks, Handkerchiefs, Pinners, Pin-cushions, Tea-fpoons, Ribbons, Slippers, or whatever lieth in your Way, but fweep all into a Corner, and then you may take them up in a Lump, and fave Time.

Making Beds in hot Weather is a very laborious Work, and you will be apt to fweat; therefore, when you find the Drops running down from your Forehead, wipe them off with a Corner of the Sheet, that they may not be feen on the Bed.

When your Lady fendeth you to wash a China Cup, and it happen to fall, bring it up, and fwear you did but just touch it with your Hand, when it broke into three Halves: And here I must inform you, as well as all your Fellow-fervants, that you ought never to be without an Excufe; it doth no Harm to your Master, and it leffeneth your Fault, as in this Inftance; I do not commend you for breaking the Cup; it is certain you did not break it on Purpose, and the Thing is poffible, that it might break in your Hand.

You are fometimes defirous to fee a Funeral, a Quarrel, a Man going to be hanged, a Wed

up

ding, a Bawd carted, or the like; as they pafs by in the Street, you lift the Sash fuddenly, there by Misfortune it fticks; this was no Fault of yours, young Women are curious by Nature; you have no Remedy but to cut the Cord, and lay the Fault upon the Carpenter; unless nobody faw you, and then you are as innocent as any Servant in the House.

Wear your Lady's Smock when she has thrown it off; it will do you Credit, fave your own Linen, and be not a Pin the worse.

When you put a clean Pillow-cafe on your Lady's Pillow, be fure to faften it well with three corking Pins, that it may not fall off in the Night.

When you spread Bread and Butter for Tea, be fure that all the Holes in the Loaf be left full of Butter, to keep the Bread moist against Dinner; and let the Mark of your Thumb be feen only upon one End of every Slice, to shew your Cleanliness.

;

When you are ordered to open or lock any Door, Trunk, or Cabinet, and mifs the proper Key, or cannot distinguish it in the Bunch try the first Key that you can thruft in, and turn it with all your Strength, until you open the Lock, or break the Key; for your Lady will reckon you a Fool to come back and do nothing.

CHAP.