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for preventing any Innovation that may hurt the Community.
Be not proud in Prosperity: You have heard that Fortune turneth on a Wheel ; and, if you have a good Place, you are at the Top of the Wheel. Then remember how often
have been stripped, and kicked out of Doors ; your Wages all taken up before-hand, and spent in red-heeled Shoes, second-hand Toupees, and repaired Lace Ruffles; besides, a swingeing Debt to the Ale-wife and the Brandy-shop. The neighbouring Tapster, who before would beckon you over to a favoury Bit of Ox-cheek in the Morning, give it you gratis, and only score
you up for the Liquor, immediately after you were packed off in Disgrace, carried a Petition to your Master, to be paid out of your Wages, whereof not a Farthing was due, and then pursued you with Bailiffs into every blind Cellar. Remember how soon you grew shabby, thread-bare, and out at Heels; was forced to borrow an old Livery-coat, to make your Appearance while you were looking for a Place; and sneak to every House where you old Acquaintance to steal you a Scrap, to keep Life and Soul together ; and, upon the Whole, were in the lowest Station of human Life, which, as the old Ballad fayeth, is that of a Skipkennel turned out of Place; I say, remember all this now in your flourishing Condition. Pay your Contributions duly to your late Bro
thers the Cadets, who are left to the wide World ; take one of them as your Dependant, to fend on your Lady's Messages, when
you have a Mind to go to the Ale-house ; slip him out privately, now and then, a Slice of Bread, and a Bit of cold Meat, your Master can afford it ; and, if he be not yet put upon the Establishment for a Lodging, let him lie in the Stable, or the Coach-house, or under the Backstairs; and recommend him to all the Gentlemen who frequent your House, as an excellent Servant. To grow
old in the Office of a Footman, is the highest of all Indignities : Therefore, when you find Years coming on, without Hopes of a Place at Court, a Command in the Army, a Succession to the Stewardship, an Employment in the Revenue, (which two last you cannot obtain without Reading or Writing) or running away
Master's Niece, or Daughter ; I directly advise you to go upon the Road, which is the only Post of Honour left you ; there you will meet
old Comrades, and live a short Life and a merry one, and make a Figure at your Exit, wherein I shall give you some Instructions.
The last Advice I shall give you, relateth to your Behaviour when you are going to be hanged, which, either for robbing your Malter, for House-breaking, or going upon
the Highway, or in a drunken Quarrel killing the first Man you meet, may very probably be your
Lot, and is owing to one of these three Qualities; either a Love of good Fellowship, a Generosity of Mind, or too much Vivacity of Spirits. Your good Behaviour on this Article, will concern your whole Community. Deny the Fact, with all Solemnity of Imprecations ; an hundred of your Brethren, if they can be admitted, will attend about the Bar, and be ready, upon Demand, to give you a good Character before the Court ; let nothing prevail on you to confess, but the Promise of a Pardon for discovering your Comrades : But, I suppose all this to be in vain ; for, if you escape now, your Fate will be the same another Day, Get a Speech, to be written by the best Author of Newgate ; some of your kind Wenches will provide you with a Holland Shirt, and white Cap crowned with a crimson or black Ribbon ; take Leave, chearfully, of all your Friends in Newgate ; mount the Cart with Courage ; fall on your Knees; lift up your Eyes ; hold a Book in your Hands, although you cannot read a Word; deny the Fact at the Gallows kiss and forgive the Hangman, and so farewel, You shall be buried in Pomp, at the Charge of the Fraternity ; the Surgeons shall not touch a Limb of
your Fame shall continue, until a Successor of equal Renown succeedeth in your place.
CH A P,
CHA P. IV.
DIRECTIONS to the COACHMAN.
OU are strictly bound to nothing, but
to step into the Box, and carry your Master, or Lady.
Let your Horses be so well trained, that, when you attend your Lady at a Visit, they will wait until you slip into a neighbouring Ale-house, to take a Pot with a Friend.
When you are in no Humour to drive, tell your Master, that the Horses have got a Cold; that they want shoeing ; that Rain does them Hurt, and roughens their Coat, and rots the Harness. This may, likewise, be applied to the Groom.
If your Master dineth with a Country Friend, drink as much as you can get ; because it is allowed, that a good Coachman never driveth fo well, as when he is drunk; and then shew your Skill, by driving, to an Inch, by a Precipice; and say, you never drive so well as when drunk.
If you find any Gentleman fond of one of your Horses, and willing to give you a Confideration, beside the Price, persuade your Mafter to sell him ; because he is fo vicious, that you cannot undertake to drive with him ; and he is foundered into the Bargain.
Get a Blackguard-boy to watch your Coach at the Church-door, on Sundays, that you
and your Brother-coachmen may be merry together at the Ale-house, while your Master and Lady are at Church.
Take Care that your Wheels be good; and get a new Set bought as often as you can, whether you are allowed the old as a Perquisite, or not : In one Case, it will turn to your honest Profit; and, in the other, it will be a juft Punishment on your Master's Covetousness; and, probably, the Coach-maker will consider
CH A P. V.
DIRECTIONS to the GRO O M.
OU are the Servant upon whom the
Care of your Master's Honour, in all Journies, entirely dependeth ; your Breast is the fole Repository of it. If he travels the Country, and lodgeth at Inns, every Dram of Brandy, every Pot of Ale, extraordinary, that you drink, raiseth his Character ; therefore, his Reputation ought to be dear to you ; and, I hope, you will not stint yourself in either. The Smith, the Sadler's Journeyman, the Cook at the Inn, the Oftler and the Boot-catcher, ought all, by your Means, to partake of your