my long Silence; what will you do when I am fo long in answering? I have one Excuse which will ferve for all my Friends, I am quite worn out with Disorders of Mind and Body: A long Fit of Deafnefs, which still continues, hath unqualified me for converfing, or thinking, or reading, or hearing; to all this is added, an Apprehenfion of Giddinefs, whereof I have frequently fome frightful Touches. Befides, I can hardly write ten Lines without twenty Blunders, as you will fee by the Number of Scratchings and Blots before this Letter is done: Into the Bargain, I have not one Rag of Memory left; and my Friends have all forfaken me. As to my taking a Journey to Cavan, I ́ am just as capable as of a Voyage to China, or of running Races at Newmarket. But to fpeak in the Latinitas Grattaniana; Tu clamas meretrix primus, for we have all expected you here at Eafter, as you were used to do. Your Muster-Roll of Meat is good, but of Drink in fup Port able. Yew wann twinne. My Strefs Alba via hath eaten here all your hung Beef, and faid it was very good. I am now come to the noli me Tan Jerry, which begg Inns wyth mad Dam. So I will go on by the Strength of my own. Wit upon Points of the high eft imp or taunts. I have been very curious in confidering that fruitful Word Ling; which explaineth many fine Qualities in Ladies, fuch as grow ling, ray ling, tip ling, (feldom) toy ling, mumb ling, grumb ling, curr ling, pufs ling, bufs ling, ftrow ling, ramb ling, quarry ling, tat ling, whiff ling, dabb ling, doub ling. Thefe are but as ample o fan hunn dread mower: They have all got Cold this Winter, big Owing tooth in lick lad ink old wet her, an dare ink you rabble.-Well, I triumph over you, Is corn Urine cap a City: Pray tell me, does the Land of Quilca pay any Rent? or is any paid by the Tenants? or is there not any Part of fifty Pounds to be got? But before you make Complaints of ill Payments from your School, I will declare I was never fo ill paid as now, even by my rich Debtors. I have finished my Will for the laft Time, wherein I left fome little Legacy, which you are not to receive until you fhall be entirely out of my Debt, and paid all you owe me to my Executors. And I have made very honourable mention of you in the Will, as the Confideration of my leaving these Legacies to you. Explain this Proverb, Salt dry Fish, and the Wedding-gold, Is the Vice of Women both young and old. Yes, you have it i nam o mento time. The old Huncks S-d hath buried his only Son, who was a young Huncks come to Age. A SATYR on an inconftant LovER. You are as faithlefs as a Carthaginian, To love at once Kate, Nell, Doll, Martha, Jenny, Ann. A A SPECIMEN of Latinitas G- Ego ludam diabolum fuper duos Baculos cum te, Voca fuper me cras. Profecto Ego dabo tibi tuum ventrem plenum legis, Sine me folum cum illo. Ego capiam tempus, Quid peftis velles tu esse apud. Ego faciam te fumare. Ego dabo tibi pyxidem in aure. Ego faciam te fecare Saltum. Veni, veni, folve tuùm Scotum, et fac non plura verba. Id eft plus expenfi quam veneratio. Si tu es pro Lege, dabo tibi Legem, tuum ventrem plenum. Ut Diabolus voluit habere id. Quid eft materia tecum. Tu babes vetus Proverbium fuper tuum latus ; Cape me apud illud, et fufpende me. Eft formofus corporatus homo in facie. Tu eft carcer avis. Ego amo mendacem in meo corde, et tu aptas me ad crinem. Ego dicam tibi quid: Hic eft magnus clamor, et Quid! tu es fuper tuum altum Equum. Vifne tu esse tam bonus, quam tuum verbum? Ego fervo hoc pro pluviofo die. Ego poffum facere id cum digito madido. Profecto, Ego babui nullam manum in id. Tu es Homo extranei renis. Precor, ambula fuper. Ego intro non in tuas querelas. Ego feci amorem Virgini Honoris. Quomodo venit id circum, quod tu ludis Stultum ita? Vos ibi, fac viam pro meo Nomino. Omnes focii apud pedem pilam. Fæminæ & linteum afpiciunt optimè per candelæ lucem. From From Dr. SwIFT to Dr. SHERIDAN, on a Literalia Scheme of Writing. SIR, AR S you are a famous Inftructor of Youth in the learned Languages, I cannot doubt of your being willing to encourage all ufeful Inventions, that may further improve Knowledge. I have often lamented the unneceffary Lofs of Time we fuffer in transcribeing our Thoughts by dividing our Words into Syllables, and writing the Vowels at length, which fo frequently occur; that although they be but five, yet by occurring fo frequently as they do, they double our Labour, befides the great Lofs of Paper, Pens, and Ink, which many among the Learned are not fo well able to fpare. I confefs, that in this polite and learned Age of ours, many laudable Attempts have been made for fome Remedy against this Evil; partly by abbreviating Words with Apoftrophes, and partly by lopping the Polyfyllables, leaving only one or two at most, as thus "Tis'n't, 't'n't, won't, can't, poz, 'pon, Rep', Phiz, Cit, and many more. But alas, these are poor Expedients, and do not go to the Root of the Disease. My Scheme is much more useful and extenfive, although I confefs myself not to be altogether |