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have known to have had very good Confequences in fome Families.
Never come until you have been called three or four Times ; for none but Dogs will come at the first Whistle: And, when the Master calleth [Who's there?] no Servant is bound to come ; for (Who's there] is no Body's Name. When you have broken all
your earthern Drinking-Veflels below Stairs, (which is usually done in a Week) the Copper-pot will do as well; it can boil Milk, heat Porridge, hold Small-beer, or, in case of Neceffity, serve for a Jordan ; thesefore apply it indifferently to all these Uses, but never wash or scour it, for fear of taking off the Tin.
Although you are allowed Knives for the Servants Hall, at Meals, yet you ought to spare them, and make Use only of your
Master's. Let it be a constant Rule, that no Chair, Stool, or Table, in the Servants Hall, or the Kitchen, shall have above three Legs, which hath been the antient and constant Practice in all the Families I ever knew, and is faid to be founded
upon two Reasons; first, to shew that Servants are ever in a tottering Condition ; and, fecondly, it was thought a Point of Humility, that the Servants Chairs and Tables fhould have at least one Leg fewer than those of their Mafters.
there hath been an Exception to this Rule, with regard to the Cook, who, by old Custom, was allowed an easy Chair to sleep in after Dinner ; and yet, I have seldom seen
them with above three Legs. Now, this epidemical Lameness of Servants Chairs, is by Philosophers imputed to two Causes, which are observed to make the greatest Revolutions iq States and Empires : I mean, Love and War. A Stool, a Chair, or a Table, is the first Weapon taken up in a general Romping or Skir milh ; and, after a Peace, the Chairs, if they be not very strong, are apt to suffer in the Conduct of an Amour, the Cook being usually fat and heavy, and the Butler a little in Drink,
I could never endure to see the Maid-servants so ungenteel, as to walk the Streets with their Pettycoats pinned up ; it is a foolish Excuse to alledge, their Pettycoats will be dirty, when they have so easy a Remedy, as to walk three or four Times down a clean Pair of Stairs after they come home. When you stop to tąttle with some
crony Servant in the same Street, leave your own Street-door open, that you might get in without knocking, when you come back; otherwife, your Mistress
you are gone out, and
must be chidden. I do most earnestly exhort you all to Unanimity and Concord : But mistake me not; you may quarrel with each other as much as you pleafe, only always bear in Mind, that you have a common Enemy, which is your Master and Lady, and you have a common Cause to defend. Believe an old Practitioner ; whoever, gut of Malicę to a Fellow-fervant, carrieth a
fick ; up:
Tale to his Master, shall be ruined by a gener ral Confederacy against him.
The general Place of Rendezvous for all the Servants, both in Winter and Summer, is the Kitchen there the grand Affairs of the Family ought to be confulted, whether they concern the Stable, the Dairy, the Pantry, the Laundry, the Cellar, the Nursery, the Dining Room, or my Lady's Chamber : There, as in your own proper Element, you can laugh, and fquall, and romp, in full Security. When
any Servant cometh home drunk, and cannot appear, you must all join in telling your Master, that he is
gone to Bed
very on which your Lady will be so good-natured, as to order fome comfortable Thing for the poor Man, or Maid, When
your Master and Lady go abroad to gether, to Dinner, or on a Vifit for the Evening, you need only leave one Servant in the House, unless you have a Blackguard Boy, to answer at the Door ; and attend the Children, if there be any. Whọ is to stay at home, must be determined by short and long Cuts; and the Stayer at home may be comforted by a Vifit from a Sweet-heart, without Danger of being caught together. These Opportunities must never be missed, because they come but sometimes; and all is fafe enough, while there is a Servant in the House.
When your Master or Lady cometh home, and wanteth a Servant who happeneth to be
you be chids
abroad, your Answer must be, that he but just that Minute stept out, being sent for by a Cou. sin who was dying. If your
Master calleth you by Name, and you happen to answer at the fourth Call, you need not hurry yourself; and, if den for staying, you may lawfully say, you came no sooner, because you did not know what you were called for.
When you are chidden for a Fault; as you go out of the Room, and down Stairs, mutter Ioud enough to be plainly heard : This will make him believe you are innocent.
Whoever cometh to visit your Master or Lady when they are abroad, never burthen your Memory with the Person's Name; for indeed
you have too many other Things to remember : Besides, it is a Porter's Business, and your Master's Fault that he doth not keep one. And who can remember Names ? And you will certainly mistake them, for you can neither write nor read.
If it be possible, never tell a Lye to your Master or Lady, unless you have some Hopes that they cannot find it out in less than half an Hour, When a Servant is turned off, all his Faults must be told, although most of them were never known by his Master or Lady } and all Mischiefs done by others, charge to him. [Instance them. And when they ask any.
-of you, Why you never acquainted them before The Answer is, Sir, or Madam,
really really I was afraid it would make you angry and, besides, perhaps you might think it was Malice in me. Where there are little Masters and Miffes in a House, they are usually great Impediments to the Diversions of the Servants, the only Remedy is to bribe them with Goody Goodyes, that they may not tell Tales to Papa and Mamma.
If you are sent with ready Money to buy any thing at a Shop, and happen at that Time to be out of Pocket, (which is very usual) fink the Money, and take up the Goods on your Master's Account. This is for the Honour of your Master and yourself ; for he became ą Man of Credit on your Recommendation.
When your Lady sendeth for you up to her Chamber, to give you any Orders, be sure to stand at the Door, and keep it open, fidling with the Lock all the while she is talking to you ; and keep the Button in your Hand, for fear
you should forget to shut the Door after you.
If your Master or Lady happen once in their Lives to accuse you wrongfully, you are a happy Servant; for you have nothing more to do, than for every Fault you commit while you are in their Service, to put them in Mind of that false Accusation, and protest yourself equally innocent in the prefent Case. : When
have a Mind to leave your Mafter, and are too bashful to break the Matter, for fear of offending him, your bek Way is to