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Thus, I find it by Experiment, Scolding moves you less than Merriment. I may storm and

rage

in vain,
It but stupifies your Brain :
But with Raillery to nettle,
Sets your Thoughts upon their Mettle ;
Gives Imagination Scope,
Never lets your Mind elope ;
Drives out Brangling and Contention,
Brings in Reason and Invention ;
For
your

Sake as well as mine,
I the lofty Style decline.

I, who love to have a Fling
Both at S-n-te-House and;
That they might some better way tread,
To avoid the publick Hatred;
Thought no Method more commodious,
Than to shew their Vices odious,
Which I chose to make

appear,
Not by Anger, but a Sneer :
As
my

Method of reforming,
Is by laughing, not by storming,
(For my Friends have always thought
Tenderness my greatest Fault)
Would

you

have me change my Style On your Faults no longer smile;

But,

But, to patch up all your Quarrels,
Quote you Texts from Plutarcb's Morale;
Or, from Solomon produce
Maxims teaching Wisdom's Use?

If I treat you like a Cond Hd,
You have cheap enough compounded ;
Can

you put in higher Claims,
Than the Owners of St. y-s?
You are not so great a Grievance,
As the Hirelings of St. St-Ns.
You are of a lower Class
Than my Friend Sir Robert Brass.
None of these have Mercy found,
I have laugh’d, and lash'd them round.

Have

you feen a Rocket fly?
You could swear it pierc'd the Sky:
It but reach'd the middle Air,
Bursting into Pieces there;
Thousand Sparkles falling down,
Light on many a Coxcomb's Crown;
See, what Mirth the Sport creates,
Singes Hair, but breaks no Pates.
Thus, should I attempt to climb,
Treat

you in a Style sublime, Such a Rocket is my Muse, Should I lofty Numbers chuse,

E'er

E'er I reach'd Parnassus' Top,
I should burst, and bursting drop.
All
my

Fire would fall in Scraps,
Give your Head some gentle Raps,
Only make it smart a while ;
Then, could I forbear to smile,
When I found the tingling Pain,
Ent’ring warm your frigid Brain :
Make

you

able
To decide of Wrong and Right;
Talk with Sense whate'er you please on;
Learn to relish Truth and Reason.

upon Sight

Thus we both should gain our Prize: I to laugh, and you grow wise.

A LOVE POEM, from a PHYSICIAN to

his MISTRESS.

Written at London in the Year 1728.

B

Y Poets we are well assur'd

That Love, alas ! can ne'er be cur'd;
A complicated Heap of Ills,
Despising Boluses and Pills.
Ah! Chloe, this I find is true,
Since first I gave my Heart to you.
Vol. VIII.

R

Now,

.

ز

Now, by your Cruelty hard-bound
I strain my Guts, my Colon wound:
Now, Jealousy my grumbling Tripes
Affaults, with grating, grinding Gripes :
When Pity in those Eyes I view,
My Bowels wambling make me spero.
When I an am'rous Kiss design'd,
I belcb'd a Hurricane of Wind.
Once, you a gentle Sigh let fall,
Remember how I suck'd it all ;
What Cholic Pangs from thence I felt,
Had
you

but known, your Heart would melt,
Like ruffling Winds in Caverns pent,
'Till Nature pointed out a Vent.
How have you torn my Heart to Pieces,
With Maggots, Humours, and Caprices !
By which I got the Hemorrhoids,
And loathsome Worms my Anus voids.
Whene'er I hear a Rival nam'd,
I feel my Body all inflam'd;
Which breaking out in Boyls and Blanes,
With yellow Filth my

Linen stains ;
Or, parch'd with unextinguish'd Thirst,
Small Beer I guzzle 'till I burst ;
And then I drag a bloated Corpus
Swelld with a Dropsy, like a Porpus ;
When if I cannot purge or ftale,
I must be tapp'd to fill a Pail.

On

On a PRINTER's being sent to New

GATE, by the

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ETTER we all were in our Graves

Than live in Slavery to Slaves ;
Worse than the Anarchy at Sea,
Where Fishes on each other prey ;
Where ev'ry Trout can make as high Rants
O'er his Inferiors as our Tyrants ;
And swagger while the Coast is clear ;
But should a lordly Pike appear,
Away you see the Varlet scud,
Or hide his coward Snout in Mud.
Thus, if a Gudgeon meet a Roach
He dare not venture to approach ;
Yet still hath Impudence to rise,
And, like Domitian, leap at Flies,

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Upon stealing a Crown when the DEAN was

alleep, by Dr. SHERIDAN.

D Ꭰ

EAR Dean, since you in fleepy wise
Have op'd your Mouth, and clos'd your

Eyes,
Ghost-like Lglide along your Floor,
And softly shut the Parlour Door ;

For

R 2

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