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IT HEN your Master or Lady calleth a
Servant by Name, if that Servant be.
not in the Way, none of you are to answer, for then there will be no End of your Drudgery: And Masters themselves allow, that if a Servant cometh when he is called, it is sufficient.
When you have done a Fault, be always pert and insolent, and behave yourself, as if you were the injured Person ; this will immediately put your Master or Lady off their Mettle.
If you see your Master wronged by any of your Fellow-servants, be sure to conceal it, for, fear of being called a Tell-tale :. However, there is one Exception, in case of a favourite Servant, who is justly hated by the whole Family; who therefore are bound in Prudence, to lay all the Faults they can upon the Favourite.
The Cook, the Butler, the Groom, the Mara ketman, and every other Servant who is concerned in the Expences of the Family, should act as if his Master's whole Estate ought to be applied to that Servant's particular Business. For Instance: If the Cook computeth his Master's Estate to be a thousand Pounds a Year, he reasonably concludes that a thousand Pounds a Year will afford Meat enough; and therefore, he need not be saving : The Butler makes the same Judgment; so may the Groohi and the Coachman: And thus every Branch of Expence will be filled to your Mafter's Honour. * When you are chid before Company, (which with Submission to our Masters and Ladies, is an unmannerly Practice) it often happens that some Stranger will have the Good-nature to drop a Word in your Excuse; in such a Case, you have a good Title to justify yourself, and may rightly conclude, that whenever he chideeth you afterwards on other Occasions, he may be in the wrong; in which Opinion you will be the better confirmed, by stating thé Case to your Fellow-fervants, in your own Way; who will certainly decide in your Favour : Therefore, as I have said before, whenever you are chidden, complain as if you were injured. · It often happens, that Servants sent on Meffages, äre apt to stay out somewhat longer than the Message requireth, perhaps, two, four, fix, eight Hours, or some such Trifle ; for the Temptation to be sure was great; and Flesh and
Blood cannot always resist. When you return, the Master storms, the Lady scoldeth, stripping, cudgelling, and turning off, is the Word; But, here you ought to be provided with a Set of Excuses, enough to serve on all Occasions : For Instance; your Uncle came fourscore Miles to Town this Morning, on Purpose to see you, and goeth back by Break of Day To-morrow : A Brother-fervant that borrowed Money of you when he was out of Place, was running away to Ireland: You were taking Leave of an old Fellow-servant, who was shipping for Barbados': 'Your Father fent a Cow to you to sell, and you could not find a Chapman until Nine at Night: You were taking Leave of a dear Cousin, who is to be hanged on Saturday :
You wrenched your Foot against a Stone, and · was forced to stay three Hours in a Shop, be
fore you could stir a Step : Some Nastiness was thrown on you out of a Garret Window, and you were ashamed to come home before you were cleaned, and the Smell went off: You were pressed for the Sea-service, and carried before a Justice of Peace, who kept you three Hours before he examined you ; and you got off with much a-do: A Bailiff, by Mistake, seized you for a Debtor, and kept you the whole Evening in a Spunging-house : You were told your Master had gone to a Tavern, and came to some Mischance; and your Grief was so great, that you inquired for his Honour in an hundred Taverns between Pall-Mall and Temple-Bar. give the Door such a Clap as you go out, as will shake the whole Room, and make every Thing rattle in it, to put your Master and Lady in Mind that you observe their Directions.
Take all Tradesmens Parts against your Master; and when you are sent to buy any Thing, never offer to cheapen it, but generoully pay the full Demand. This is highly for your Master's Honour, and may be some Shillings in your Pocket; and you are to confider, if your Master hath paid too much, he can better afford the Loss than a poor Tradesman.
Never fubmit to stir a Finger in any Business, but that for which you were particularly hired, For Example ; if the Groom be drunk or abfent, and the Butler be ordered to shut the Star ble Door, the Answer is ready, An please your Honour, I don't understand Horses: If a Core ner of the Hangings wanteth a lingle Nail to fasten it, and the Footman be directed to tack, it up, he may say, he doth not understand that Sort of Work, but his Honour may send for the Upholsterer,
Masters and Ladies are usually quarrelling with the Servants for not shutting the Doors after them : But neither Masters nor Ladies consider that those Doors must be open before they can be shut, and that the Labour is dou, ble to open and shut the Doors; therefore the best, shortest, and easiest Way, is, to do neither. But, if you are so often teized to shut the Door, that you cannot easily forget it, then
vourself to grow into Favour with your Master or Lady, take fome Opportunity in a very mild Way, to give them Warning; and when they ask the Reason, and seem loth to part with you, answer, that you would rather live with them, than any Body else, but a poor Servant is not to be blamed if he striveth to better himself ; that Service is no Inheritance; that your Work is great, and your Wages very small : Upon which, if your Malter hath any Generosity, he will add five or ten Shillings a Quarter, rather than let you go: But, if you are baulked, and have no Mind to go off, get some Fellow-fervant to tell your Mafter, that he had prevailed upon you to stay.
Whatever good Bits you can pilfer in the Day, fave them to junket with your Fellowservants at Night; and take in the Butler, provided he will give you Drink..
Write your own Name, and your Sweetheart's, with the Smoak of a Candle, on the Roof of the Kitchen, or the Servants Hall, to Thew your Learning.
If you are a young fightly Fellow, whenever you whisper your Mistress at the Table, run your Nose full in her Cheek; or, if your Breath be good, breathe full in her Face: This I