But foul delays encompass'd ye, More dang rous than the foe, Day and night, Lay still on the swampy shore. Was doom'd to be no more, Sunk with shame On the dark and swampy shore. Ye died not on the charging field But it was in wasting fevers Full three months and more, ***1 Pierc'd with scorn, Lay at rot on the swampy shore. 2 And the waves Pierod their graves Through the dark and the swampy shore.⠀ Oh, England! oh, my countrymen Ye ne'er shall thrive again, Till freed from councils obstinate, Of mercenary men, DUST, HO! DUST!" DOWN WITH YOUR DUST! 389 DUST, HO! DUST! DOWN WITH YOUR [The following jeu d'esprit was sent to the Bath papers, in consequence of their having authoritatively announced, under the paragraphic form, or puff insinuative, that—"a penalty, of ten shillings for each offence, would be incurred by all inhabitants, who made any other disposal of their dirt and ashes, than that of delivering them to the men and carts appointed to collect the same." The satire, upon such an absurd notice, is, we think, very fair.] TO THE EDITOR OF THE BATH JOURNAL. LEARNED SIR, BEING an humble but faithful subject of the British Government, I naturally turn with horror from any deviation from acts of Parliament; but the purchase of these being of great expense, I am much pleased when I can attain to the purport and true meaning of the laws of my country, through the channel of common publications, such as newspapers; and my pleasure is increased, when those informants are those oracles of brilliancy, antivenality, and disinterestedness, the Bath weekly sheets: I am therefore obediently embracing as my rule of conduct those most excellent and sapient paragraphs observe, Mr. Editor, voluntary paragraphs! which have lately appeared in all of them; informing all good people of an act of Parliament for the regulation of the dust-holes,' &c. of this sweet city; containing a sweeping clause, (literally!) by which a penalty of ten shillings for each offence is denounced against, not only giving away one's cinder ashes to wrong persons, but also for with $3 holding holding them for the benefit of one's garden or field! Now as unintentional error may accrue to those of far deeper intelligence than myself, even to persons who, though, like the authors of this much-admired paragraph, they may be able to see clearly through a millstone, yet perhaps may their optics be deficient, when applied to the opacity of a dust-cart! I would thereforc, Mr. Editor, through the channel of your excellent paper, humbly propose to the lords of the cinder council, to cause such distinctive badges of prerogative to be affixed to their treasurers of muck and chancellors of dunghills, that well-meaning men, like myself,~ may not inadvertently give the tribute of the precious weekly harvest to law-breaking impostors, and thereby adding to this compulsory loss of manure a fiue of ten shillings, as we are now so luminously informedTM that such is the jeopardy in which we stand! I would, therefore, hint to the high and mighty lords the expe diency of giving BADGES to their itinerant plaustrarian officers; and among the number suggested to my idea, I will just mention the appropriateness of that ancient head-covering a fool's cap, which would be in admirable unison with the summoning tribute-calling bell! Or else the crest of an owl with asses ears, painted on their backs (although the asses cars may be clearly supposed to belong to the readers and auditors of the promulgated penal law). Or, three geese heads couchant, with the terse poetic motto of "We three," &c. Or any thing sufficiently designative to guard us ignoramuses from statute-breaking! 1 must also, Mr. Editor, use this opportunity, to ask of and you, your correspondents, what other parts of one's property it would be dangerous to give away. to any person unauthorized by law to receive it. I live in a female neighbourhood, and I do assure you the paragraph alluded to has occasioned much serious apprehension and tremulation:-for example, my two aunts, Judith and Tabitha Fidget, wish very much to know know if they can, henceforth, safely give away their cast-off clothes to whom they please. My worthy friend, Sir Rubicond Redphiz, is also terribly dubious if he may still continue to give away the Madeira and Claret of his excellent cellar, without the license of the legislature and incurring penalties. Another neighbour, who is thinning his garden, is forcefully = impressed that he has incurred the forfeitures' of the sweeping statute, by having given away a considerable quantity of trees and shrubs, to persons not only uncommissioned by Parliament to receive them, but who did not even enforce payment for fetching them away. The wise promulgation of this restrictive law #will, I judge, be a death-blow to all fire insurance companies; as,..who will now dare to give away such an article as soot; and in the interim of elucidating information, how many conflagrations may we not expect from the consequences of foul chimnies? As for the presenters of new-year's gifts, or Christmas-boxes, all their cases must be dangerous indeed, if no permissive law is in existence for their protection and indemnification. Farther, as, I dare say, this displayed sweeping act applies to gifts in general; I should think that an abbreviated edition would have a most profitable sale, if you would oblige the good old ladies of Bath with its publication. I remain, Mr. Editor, Quiz Place, Bath, Jan. 12, 18.10. [ORIGINAL] ON Your constant Reader, DEATH EXTRAORDINARY! [From the Morning Post, Jan. 11.]" N Sunday night, the 31st ult. expired the year eighteen hundred and nine, at sixty minutes past. eleven o'clock, after a lingering consumption of three hundred sixty-five days; during which he had witnessed the overthrow of armies, the subjugation of 2 kingdoms, kingdoms, the failure of the negotiations, and the dissolution of the most sacred ties of nature; accom panied by the destruction of fleets, the disclosure of important transactions, and the discovery of intrigues; of all of which he remained a passive spectator; exercising the whole time that most philosophical of virtues, patience. He is succeeded by his son, only twelve days old, who has commenced his career with singular mildness. We hope it is a presage of change in the political world, which seventeen of his prede cessors have agitated by the most extraordinary events that ever stained the page of history. A CABINET COUNCIL.. [From the Morning Chronicle, Jati #7 } Concerning the state, That day they had met to determine; Of the Pope in the air, Some took to their heels, And cried out he'd off straight to Oxford: Saying, Oxford would greet him no more, 1 The cry of "No Popery" next; And raging with rage--with vexation vext, jofAnd at last in a horse-laugh burst out, |