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O. P.—THE RECONCILIATION DINNER. 385 contrived to keep his head above water, by sticking his teeth in a large slice of lemon that was lightly floating, like Lord Fanny's honour, upon the surface; until Mr. Henry H-struck him over the sconce with file of Morning Posts; when, feeling his dissolution approach, he lifted up both his hands, and wofully exclaimed, Remember o! he would have said i also; but the angry Fateş denied his spirit that privilege, and he sunk to the bottom of the Red Sea, like Hecate's first cousin, never to rise, again! Alas ! poor ghost!

A consultation was now held among the principals as 10 an appropriate inscription for 0. P.'s tomb: when Mr. Dibdin produced the following pithy lines :

Here lies O. P.
Who was nothing,

Not even a Critic! But as 'this was a palpable plagiary from Piron's mausoleum at Paris, it was una voce rejected, and Mr. Townsend (who has been already noticed as one of the high contracting parties in the consolidation of a dramatic peace) was entreated to solicit bis well-bred Muse to furnish them with an apt epitaph for this defunct rebel. It may be necdless to aver, that this gentlemanusher to Justice condescendingly consented; and his invocation had scarcely time to reach the confines of Parnassus, when the Pierian grace descended upon his imagination. Idea engendered with idea, until eventually, in nine seconds, the ensuing classical monumental morceau was delivered from his bright and teen. ing brain :

O. P. is dishu !
His glass is run!
He's tipp'd all nine !

He's cut and run! It is vanecessary to say, that Mr. Townsend's superior poetry was most rapturously adopted : in truth,






when we consider the brevity, beauty, and imagery of this sepulchral composition, it must be acknowledged to be a unique thing, and as admirable as it is original

. A subscription was immediately raised to inter O. P.; but a warm dispute arose as to the place of burial, as } had occasionally, when in existence, assumed the sembiance of Christian, Jew, and Infidel : but these points of conscientious delicacy were over-ruled by Mr. Kemble, who suggested that his ashes should be deposited in Knave's Acre.

But the time had now arrived, Mr. Editor, when it was destined that all this visionary inapplicable nonsense should vanish ; as I was roughly awakened by my washerwoman, who broke the bonds of sleep asunder, by tapping me on the shoulder (a very sen. sitive part of my anatomy), to present her bill for blanching one shirt per week, and which, unhappily

, had not been liquidated since Candlemas.

Thus, while a mortal varlet's breast

Ideal transports feels,
The reck’ning comes, and then bis heart

Sinks downwards to his heels.
Wiflated man is arrogant and gay,
Till Fate has scratch'd him—then he finds he 's clay!

Alack a day!
Yours, &c.



[From the Morning Chronicle, Jan. 5.]
My love and I, the other day,

Within a myrtle arbour lay, i
When near us, froin a rosy bed,
A little snake put forth its head,

See," said the 'maid, with laughing eyes-
Yonder the fatal emblem lies!




Who could expect such hidden harm
Beneath the rose's velvet charm
Never did moral thought occur

In more unlucky hour than this;
For, oh! I just was leading her

To talk of love and think of bliss.
) rost to kill the snake; but she,

In pity, pray'd it might nut be. # No;" said the nyinph, and many a spark

Flash'd from her eyelids as she said it 6 Under the rose, or in the dark,

One might, perhaps, have cause to dread it;
But when its wicked eyes appear,

: And when we knew for what they wink soy
One must be very simple, dear,
To let it sting one :---don't you

think so ;”

Your money



[From the same, Jan. 8.1
E brave, enduring Englishmen,

Who dash through fire and food,
And spend, with equal thoughtlessness,


your blood, I sing of that black season, Which all true hearts deplore,

When ye lay,

Night and day,
Upon Walcheren's swampy shore.
"T was in the summer's sunshine

Your mighty host set sail,
With valovir in each longing heart,

And vigour in the gale;
The Frenchman dropp'd his laughter,
The Fleming's thoughts grew sore,

As ye came

In your fame
To the dark and swampy shore.





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Bue foul delays encompass'd ye,

More dang 'rous tha, the fue,
As Antwerp's town and its guarded fleet,

Too well for Britons know
One pot alone ve conquer'd
With hosts unknown of yore; "

And your might,

Day and night,
Lay still on the swampy shore.
In vain your dauntless mariners
Mourn'dev'ry monvert lust,

mrti 3:7) in vain your solchers threw their eyes

Jari Hame to th' hostile coast;
The fire of galiant aspects

Was doom'd to be no more,

And your fame

Sunk with shame 11.,{");} .so bad
On the dark and swampy.shore.
Ye died not in the triumphing ....CI

Of ilie battle-shaken food,
Ye died not on the charging field

In the mingle of brave blood
But it was in wasting fevers.
Full three months and more,

Britons born,
Pierc'd with scorn,

Lay at rot on the


No ship came o'er to bring relief,

No urders came to save;
Put Death stood there, and never stirrd,

Still counting for the grave.
They lay down, and they linger'd,
And died pith feelings sore,

And the waves

Pierc'J their graves
Through the dark and the swainpy shore, is
Oh, England! oh, my countrymen !

Ye ne'er shall thrive again,
Till freed from councils obstinate.
Of mercenary, men,




So toll for the six thousand
Whose miseries are o'er,

Where the deep,

To their sleep,
Bemoans on the swampy



DUST!!! (The following jeu d'esprit was sent to the Bath papers, in

consequence of their having authoritatively announced, under the paragraphic form, or puff insinuative, that—"a penalty, of ten shillings for each offence, would be incurred by all inhabitants, who made any other disposal of their dirt and ashes, than that of delivering them to the men and carts: appointed to collect the sarne.* The satire, upon such an absurd notice, is, we think, very fair.]

TO THE EDITOR OF THE BATH JOURNAL LEARNED SIR, BEIN EING an humble but faithful subject of the British

Government, I naturally turn with horror from arry deviation from acts of Parliament; but the purchase of these being of great expense, I am much pleased when I can attain to the purport and true meaning of the laws of my country, through the channel of common publications, such as newspapers; and my pleasure is increased, when those informants are those oracles of brilliancy, antivenality, and disinterestedness, the Bath weekly sheets: I am therefore obediently embracing as my rule of conduct those most excellent and sapient paragraphism observe; Mro' Editor, voluntary paragraphs ! which have lately ap. peared in all of them; informing all good people of an act of Parlianient for the regulation of the dust-holes,' &c. of this sweet city; containing a sweeping clause, (literally !) by which a penalty of ten shillings for each offence is denounced against, not only giving away one's cinder ashes to wrong persons, but also for with


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