ON THE LATE EMPRESS JOSEPHINE'S

REMOVAL TO MAL MAISON.

[From the Morning Chronicle, Dec. 30.] POOR Josephine now may run madmavec raisonTo be freed from mal homme, she's sent to Mal Maison.

M.

IMPERIAL REASONING.

[From the British Press, Dec. 30.]
THE public good," said Bonaparté,

Requires, my love, that I should part ye."
" Why part with me?” said Josephine.-
• The public good requires a queen:”.
" Its greatest call is for a son,
The heir of Great Napoleon;
Whom I may educate and fashion,
To rule this great and mighty nation.
Yes: educate; for I intend
Some thirty years on earth to spend.
By you, my Josephine, 't is plain,
A sok I shall not likely gain.
But plain it is, that, on another,
I shall confer the state of mother
'Tis only rational I shou’d,
Because on you I never cou'd!"

A reason so convincing, sure,
The Empress could not long endure-
So Kings and Queens were brought to say,
They thought it clear, as was the day.

They met they said som-'t was agreed,
Another wife must surely breed.

CHRISTMAS FESTIVITIES.

[From the same.] AMONGST the amusements of the season, the fol

lowing dramatic pieces have been performed, or are in preparation, at the seats of the nobility :

The

376

EPISTLE FROM AN IRISH BLEACHER.

The Margravine of Anspach--The Rites of Hospitality- A Day in Turkey—The Man of Fashionand Who Winsor, The Widow's Choice.

Alnwick Castle The Hero of the North-English Hospitality—with The Roast Beef of Old EnglandConscious Lovers—and The Expected Wedding.

Lord Leveson Gower— The World in a Village, Matrimony—The Day after the Wedding--and The Honey Moon.

Countess Dowager of Kingston—The Refusal ; or, Lady's Philosophy—The Unexpected Visit-and Not at Home.

Tullamore Park—The Vicegerènt-The Connoisseur -Modern Antiques—and The Interlude of Taste; or, Lady Pentweazle.

Lady Cahir--The Romance of an Hour-and All in good Humour.

EPISTLE
FROM AN IRISH BLEACHER TO A LONDON LINEN.

DRAPER.
[From the Morning Post, Jan. 3, 1810.]
GREAT
REAT orator of famous London city!

Thou more than Cicero in a Common Hall !
Bold as Lloyd Wardle-as Frank Burdett witry,

The prince, the pride of linen-drapers all! Oh! how I long to open a connexion,

A correspondence cultivate with thee, Whose speeches fire my soul with disaffection,

To break her bonds, and set my country free! I deal in dowlas, and all kinds of linen,

The best that Irish looms produce, I swear ; Send me an order-make but a beginning,

And thy commission I'll fulfil with care. Thy principles I estimate so dearly,

(A prodigy of virtue sure art thou !) That on each invoice I a bonus clearly

Of six per cent, my fav’rite will allow.

By

THE VIGOROUS ADMINISTRATION. 377 By Commerce I've been pamperd, and I thank her ;

To me indeed she has been very kind.
Oh! could I beilow at the Crown and Anchor,

Like thee and Gale, how I would raise the wind!
For who can bear Corruption's taunt and fardel,

T'hat has the spirit of a free.born mouse !
Give me such men as Waithman, Gale, and Wardle,

And soon I'll purify her tainted House?
Threadneelle Street, and every senseless ninny,

That pins his faith upon its printed rags,
Should learn, like Gale, the value of a guinea,

While Wardle's merited subscription lags!
Then, worthy Waithman! send thy order quickly;

Make trial of my goods, though trade be flat;
As “hope deferrd" is apt to make one sickly,

Haste, gratify a brother democrat. Banks of Bann, Dec, 26, 1899.

SAM. SHIRTING.

THE VIGOROUS ADMINISTRATION.
[From the Morning Chronicle, Jan. 4, 18101]

Tune Abraham Newland.”
W
HEN Billy went out on his duelling bout,

Says John Buil, " If you're popt, who'll succeed you!"
Quoth he, “ Never mind-little Percy you 'll fin,
As well able to blister and bleed you.

Like me he 'll bamboozle the nation,
And stick like a leech to his station,

Like me forni a vigorous,

Rigorous, vigorous,
Vigorous Administration !"!

Oh, what an Administration!
What a wonderful Administration !

What a wonderful, vigorolis,

Able and rigorous,

Vigorous Administration !
When --thought it right with the Talents to figli,

For admitting of sects to their manger,
This little pale man crept into the divan,
Bawling out, that the Church was in danger ;

That

378

TAE VIGOROUS ADMINISTRATION.
That nothing on earth could defend her,
From Grenville, the Pope, aud Pretender;

From the chorus diaboiôn,

And the old Miss of Babylon,
Unless he were call’d to defend her.

So he came with his Administration,
His wonderful Administration !

What a prodigious,

And truly religious,

Vigorous Administration !
When in they had slid, the first thing they did -

As a proof of their terrible vigour,
Was to fit out a fleet so prodigiously great,
That England had ne'er seen a bigger.

They said, “ We will make a cominotion,
We swaggering lords of the ocean;

And what this little island

Can do upon dry land,
We'll give Bonaparte a notion.”

So said this bold Administration,
This wonderful Administration !

This thundering, plundering,

(Not at all blundering)

Vigorous Administration !
Now, when they went out, and were looking about,

They cried, “ Where the devil can we land?
We may chance come to blows, if we light on our foes,
So we'll burn out our friends upon Zealand."

They thought 't was uncivil to harass
Bonaparte by marching to Paris ;

So example they took

From the Prince in the book,
Who stabb’d his old friend in the arras.

What a thought for an Administration!
Such a generous Administration !

What “a victorious,
Happy, and glorious,"

Vigorous Administration !
When Mary Ann Clarke set to work in the dark,

To prove her dear Prince a defaulter,
The good little man to defend him began,

And at last left his neck ju the halter.

F

He

THE VIGOROUS ADMINISTRATION.

379

He swore he was calumniated,
Challeng'd Wardle to prove what he prated;

So he courteously did

As the Minister bid,
And prov'd rather more than he stated,

Oh, what an Administration !
What a good-natur'd Administration !

What a kind and officious,

Wise and judicious,

Vigorous Administration !
The next thing to mention is Cintra's Convention,

Where bravery by folly was undone ;
But their credit they save, by daring to have
Their own Common Council of London.

Then they persecute General Moore, oh!
And make Wellington Baron of Douro;

Because one told the truth

And the other, brave youth,
Stuck at nothing their necks to secure, oh!

Oh, what an Administration,
To quell the proud Gallican nation!

Oh, what a martial,
Just and impartial,

Vigorous Administration !
Then a project they fix, in their sage politics,

In hopes the French navy of crushing;
Most bravely to slaughter, by land

and by water, Ten thousand brave Britons at Flushing.

Their menaces vanish in smoke, Sir;
Their schemes are Vapoleon's joke, Sir;

While England deplores

Her desolate shores,
And with anguish is ready to choke, Sir;

Chatham 's the head of the nation
Heaven-born Administration !

Oh, justly jubileed,
Neither rascal-nor-booby leda

Vigorous Administration !
Hear the last tale of mystery, that closes their history,

With no battles abroad to be heeded :
They fire bullets of lead at each other's head

Oh! would they for once had succeeded !

But