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EDITOR OF THE MORNING CHRONICLE.
[Dec. 28.] SIR, I HAVE waited impatiently ever since the invitation
you held out, to see what bard (they are all bards or minstrels now, I hear) the present age could produce, competent to celebrate in an elegy the virtues of the departed Mrs. Twaddle. While I was mortal I never suffered such a lady to sink into the grave unhonoured by the Muse; and since the world is in possession of my Elegy on Mrs. Twaddle's great prototype, Mrs. Mary Blaize, I feel it incumbent upon me, dead as I am, still to do justice to the memory of the latter lady, and snatch from the degenerate minstrels of
your times a subject so deserving of poetical commemoration.
Elysium, I remain yours, till resurrection, Dec, 23, 1809.
THE SHADE OF GOLDSMITH. P.S. I am happy to be able to say, that Mrs. Twaddle, though very much fretted and hipped for the first day or two after her descent, is now so well reconciled to her present situation, that she employs all her thoughts upon the means of remaining in it, and in preparing evidence against her trial, which will conie on, before Pluto himself, towards the end of January.
Good Tories all, with one accord,
For Madam Twaddle cry!
Where she herself was by.
Cool caution still ruld her mind,
ELEGY ON MRS. TWADDLE.
Her hospitality ne'er balk'd
The hopes of a starv'd sioner,
Whene'er she gave a dinner.
By many a kinsman pray'd for ;
Whate'er the nation paid for.
Her courage all men know;
When no one was its foe.
In them her only hope ;
But wheu she damn’d the Pope.
E'en unsuspicious youth;
Whene'er she told the truth.
About it never falter'd,
But in no tittle alter'd.
Which oft repentance pricked,
Except when she was wicked.
While Death delay'd his blow.
But still to stay below.
More ridicul'd her moan,
But felt by her alone.
[From the General Evening Post, Dec. 26.] NOTWITHSTANDING the hitherto acknow
ledged superiority of the French nation in the article of politeness, it is allowed that the English are not much behind them ; but while this allowance is made, we are at the same time told that it belongs only to the upper and well-educated classes in society; and that the lower, the plebeians, the domestics, and the people “ whom nobody knows,” are made rebellious and unaccommodating.
It is difficult to characterize a whole nation. Who. ever looks round him during the present season,
will have some reason to doubt whether the upper or the under ranks are most civil. Certain it is, that all the outward signs and symptoms of civility and submission are now wonderfully apparent. Never surely was precept better kept than--" Servants, obey your masters in all things": --for eight or ten days.
During this happy and good-humoured season, even the very churches exhibit a politeness, which nothing but Christmas could inspire. No persons are allowed to fatigue themselves by standing in the aisles, while the pew-openers increase the solemnity of the service by appearing in the humblest attitudes of supplication, and the delicate extension of hand shows that next Sunday ought to be called PalmSunday.
But the full effect of the season is perhaps most visible at home-no occasion to ring the bell above once, and no disputes are heard as to whose business it is to answer it; the distance betwixt kitchen and parlour appears to be shortened, and no one supposes what is wanted before they go to inquire.
Early rising, considering how cold and dark the moruings are, is practised with wonderful alacrity and
cheerfulness--a cheerfulness which is imparted to the very fire, which blazes most comfortably as soon as it is wanted.
Tbe breakfast is got ready all together. There is no waiting for our toast when our tea is ready, and no deficiency of water when our pot is exhausted. friend or two drop in, it is not thought too much to go for a suppleinental roll, prepare some coffee, or boil
Not a saucy word in reply to a command, nor a humph, nor a hum, 1o be heard. No half-oaths are crumbled between the teeth, and none ready to be swallowed whole.
Dinner served up to a minute, and done to a tittle. -Nothing is forgot-none of that lamentable want of memory complained of at other times; and the usual plea, “ I did not think of it,” is discontinued.
Cobwels of three or four months standing are carefully removed, and our grates begin to look as mirrors. Scowering, cleaning, washing, scrubbing, and dusting--all performed by anticipation-Every thing done before it is ordered, instead of a month or six
No delay in errands--graceful bows at the door, which is opened and shut, as if it could not express any passion!
Watchmen twirl the window-pins with most anxious care, and can't bear the sight of a suspicious person; besides being perfectly awake every bour and half-hour.
In a word, such an universal politeness and civility prevails among the unprivileged orders, that it would appear they had studied the system of Chesterfield, and practised in the school of Vestris.
About a week after the holidays, indeed, it must be confessed there is ***** (hiatus valde deflendus).
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LETTER FROM MR. GABRIEL
INTELLIGENCE FOR THE COUNTRY:
GUBBINS (BEING THE CLOSE OF HIS CORRESPONDENCE) IN LONDON,
HIS COUSIN, THE MAYOR OF *****, THE COUNTRY t.
[From the Morning Post, Dec. 26.]
DEAR COUSIN, Yor
OU have seen a King's ship on a jubilee day,
As it danc'd o'er the waves, its proud banners display ; One spark-and this vessel, so gallant, so fair, In smoke, death, and terror, is blown in the air ! One spark, and to atoms its timbers are horldA wréck, to dismay and astonish the world.
This ship so blown up, is that excellent youth,
+ See pp. 333, 135, 144, 336,