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290

THE JUBILEE. he has raised a sum, on his own personal security, more than sufficient to rebuild that house, on or before September next.

Mr. Mendoza has no intention of swearing that, so far from frequenting the theatre, he knows no more of the five acts of a play, than he does of the Five Books of Moses.

Certain members of the common council do not mean to vow and declare, on Wednesday next, that they will never offer a personal reflection on one another, but continue to read and practise Chesterfield's Principles of Politeness as long as they live.

No considerable number of tradesmen have determined to cross their books, and treat their customers on that day with stamped receipts, without receiving a farthing of money.

Mrs. Clarke and Colonel Wardle have no more intention of depriving the public of another most comical and interesting trial, than they had six months ago, any reports to the contrary notwithstanding.

The lottery-office keepers positively deny, that they ever promised to celebrate the jubilee by distributing the unsold prizes of the late lottery, among the pur. chasers of the blanks.

Nor is it true that the gentlemen of the Stock Exchange agreed to meet on that day, and listen to no reports from the continent, but what were undeniably authenticated.

And, lastly, the tavern-keepers, butchers, poul. terers, and other purveyors of provisions, have taken no oath before the lord mayor and aldermen, or the justices of peace for Middlesex, that they will part with every article, in which they deal, at five per cent. lower than they charge at any other time of the year, Easter week, lord mayor's day, and Christmas not excepted.

TRUTH WILL PREVAIL.

NATIONAL

( 291 ) NATIONAL REJOICING.

(From the Morning Chronicle, Oct. 25.)
THE pregnant breeze is passing by

That bears expiring Europe's cry:
With ruins swolu, from Danube's plain,
The deluge backward turns on Spain :
Britain, to whom they look’d for aid,
By rash, rapacious councils sway'd,
Sees all her ill-plann’d efforts fail,
And stands exhausted, breathless, pale:
Her navy sleeps, her armies brave,
Station'd where valour cannot save,
Victims of incapacity,
By fever, or by famine, die.+
Have Ministers a proof in store
Of folly and of malice more?
Yes, it remains that they expose
To wondering and deriding foes,
A nation proud of its undoing,
And dancing on the brink of ruin :cmd
While they, whose parricidal hand
Lit for their country's weal the brand,
Shall, at the mighty blazing pile,
6 Grin horrible a ghastly smile,"
Avd, senseless of remork or shame,
Like Nero, fiddle o'tr the Hame.

H. G.

THE EXPEDITION.

[From the same, Oct. 25.)

Navy or army! Who is in the wrong?
Oh, gallant Popham! Gallant Popham, oh !!!

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A VERY NEW BUT A VERY TRUE SONG.
OH, Popham! Oh, Popham!

How could you thus stop 'em,
And not let our heroes through Cadsand advance, Oh!

They say that your juggling,

And old art of smuggling,
Have made us the jest and the laughter of France, Oh!

Ha

292

THE FOG.
Had Chatham-bold Chatham!

But cried out, Have at 'em!!!
And rush'd, like a man, up to Antwerp or Lillo;

· We then should have had

Something worthy his dad,
Or even his brother departed, poor Bill, Oh!

But now we are left,

Of our heroes bereft,
By agues and fevers too quickly cut off, Oh!

And what is still worse,

Of ourselves we 're the curse, And of France-hard to own-both the laughter and scoff, Oh!

See then, sinking Britain,

The rocks you must split oil,
As long as such fools and such hypocrites please, Oh!

That care not a penny

For those call'd the many,
Provided the few--call'd themselves ! - live at ease, Oh!

THE FOG.

[From the British Press, Oct. 30 ] THE THE fog was so thick in this metropolis, on Saturday

night, that it was with great difficulty passengers could find their way through the streets; and several accidents happened, many of them of a very serious nature. The following cases have been reported to us by a correspondent of unquestionable veracity.

As Mr. Perceval was on his way to the Old Bailey, with his little blue bag, containing a little brief, in behalf of some clients, charged with swindling and other fraudulent practices, he mistook his roud, and went astray into Downing Street, where he sat down in the chair of the First Lord of the Treasury."

Mr. Canning sat down to write a full, clear, and luminous explanation of the late dark intrigue in the Cabinet, and had scarcely finished his work, when he found himself and it all enveloped in a fog.

Some

PROJECT FOR SETTLING CABINET QUARREL$. 293..

Some choice spirits set out, as usual, to kick up a row in Covent Garden theatre; but they unfortunately took a wrong course, and, to their great surprise, whern the fog was dissipated, found themselves in the Sessions House, near Westminster Abbey.

Mr. Fry's subscribers having set out in quest of a site for their new theatre, fortunately stumbled upon the Hummums, and found plenty of appropriate materials in the fog.

Several Aldermen, returning from a turtle-feast, went astray; Alderman Curtis, however, went straight home, as he bad only to follow his nose.

As a link-boy was showing a certain fashionable nude, in Baker Street, out of her carriage, she was mistaken for Venus in a cloud, attended by Cupid. It is needless to observe, that it was her lover who made this mistake.

Mrs. , a very corpulent lady, from Leadenhal} Sireet, had scarcely gone down three contre dances at Willis's Rooms, when her partner lost sight of her all

in a fog.

O. P. AND M.T.
OFFERED TO THE NOTICE OF J. K.

[From the Morning Chronicle.] SUBMIT, stubborn Kemble, submit, do, I pray,

Thy int'rest alone sure' might tempt thee; For know, if for ever O. P. 's done away,

Thy playhouse will always be M. T. Oct. 31, 1809.

H. G.

FOR THE MORNING HERALD. Aude, atque adversum fidens fer pectus in hostem.--VIRGIL. : MR. EDITOR, IN N a scarce little pamphlet, entitled, It cannot

rain but it pours; or, London strewed with Rarities,"?. 1726, I find it said of the Arabians, of which nation,

there

03

294 PROJECT FOR SETTLING CABINET QUARRELS: there were then some in London, that as for duels their mode is this When a person is injured, he goes to the tent of his adversary, taking a witness with him, and there deliberately states the wrong he has received, If the offender refuses to make reparation, he then gives him a challenge, which is---10 repair to the enemy's camp to take a prisoner; and he that, with the least assistance, takes a prisoner, comez off with honour; the other is disgraced.

Now, Sir, the occurrence of the State Duel may make it worth while to think a little of this custom ; for, though we may allow an infleta turba of some score Bucks to be annually spread upon our plains, we are not so well stored with Statesmen, as to permit them to be thus taken from the community. Perhaps, none will deny, that the Arabian custom would be beneficial for other countries; and if suitable for individuals, how much more so for statesmen, who, we all know, can have no care but for the public good, and who must, therefore, rejoice to think, that their own quarrels will tend to diminish the force of the enemy. If such a custom had prevailed among us three months since, my Lord Castlereagh and Mr. Canning would, of course, have repaired either to Walcheren or Spain, and their dispute night by this time have brought us a Bernadotte or a Soult. I propose, therefore, that though individuals may be left to shoot one another according to their own liking, a law shall be passed in the next session of Parliament, requiring Cabinet Ministers to argue in a different manner, and to record the merits of their disputes upon the pates of our common enemies. At a moment when a new Cabinet is forming, I beg them to consider this as regular notice of such a bill; and that neither my Lord Palmerston nor Mr. Ryder will accept an office, unless they are ready, upon the first quarrel, to contend for a French

prisoner

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