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190 ON A LATE MINISTERIAL EXPEDITION.

næus, and gives lessons to young ladies at home and abroad, on the loves of the plants, upon Dr. Darwin's plan; with all the most fashionable mysteries of botany in the purest and plainest style.

Attends boarding-school classes, either as lec turer, exhibitor, or propagator!

ON A LATE MINISTERIAL EXPEDITION, ALIAS BOATING PARTY, THAT CAME BACK IN A HURRY*.

[From the Morning Chronicle, Aug. 1.]

WHAT a pompous parade! what a wonderful rout!

go.

When the council broke up and the school-boys set out, When public affairs gave our statesmen permission To take a sly peep at the slow expedition. To delight in the sight of their holiday-show, Away in a barge deck'd with ribands they The beauties those beautiful ribands afford, Are n't the sole haberdashery beauties on board; There's as dainty a stock of men-milliner's treasure, As ever clipp'd paper or shuffled a measure. Like poor little birdlings escap'd from their cage, All objects, as wonders, their senses engage. And mark, as the Ministers roll down its tide, How the river is silently swelling with pride! Whisper gently, ye winds, and ye zephyrs soft blow! May old Thames in unruffled serenity flow! Should the barge be upset by a Jacobin wave, The world little knows what a loss we should have. But hark! what alarm! kennel, curs; kennel homeHome, home to your shops-for a bulletin 's come. D-l welcome the tidings so mal-apropos, T is all over now with their holiday show.

* On Friday se'nnight our Cabinet Ministers went down the river, for the purpose of visiting the expedition before it sailed. But the French bulletins, containing the account of the battle of Wagram, ar riving in the course of the day, they all returned to town in the evening.

'T was

EPIGRAMS.

T was vile Bonaparte's implacable spite,
That urg'd him another great battle to fight,
And triumph once more o'er an ill-fated foe,
All-to tear the poor boys from their holyday-showi

EPIGRAMS,

OCCASIONED BY THE DEPARTURE OF SIR W. C. WITH THE GRAND EXPEDITION.

[From the Times, Aug. 10.]

OLD England, left to prove her worth,
Unaided by alliance,

Now sends her great Goliath forth,
To bid the fue defiance.

ANOTHER.

Go, go, thou gallant Alderman,
Across the ocean whisk it!
Go crush the little Corsican,
As you would crack a biscuit.

ANOTHER.

Ah! since resolv'd abroad to roam,
We ask of thee this boon,

Most valiant Knight, to send us home
"A speedy peace and soon!”

EXPEDITION.

Sir William and his loyal clan Had scarce arriv'd at Dover, Ere the whole party, to a man, At least, were half seas over. Lambeth, August 8.

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AN ODE,

HUMBLY ADDRESSED TO MADAME CATALANI

[From the Morning Chronicle, Aug. 8.]
WEET Syren! pray accept a poet's lay,
is all, alas! the poet has to give;
Did Miss Euterpe like her sisters pay,

Italian gentry would but poorly live:
But she, while short and scanty fares the bard,
Measures your macaroni by the yard!

B.

Surely,

192

AN ODE TO MADAME CATALANI.

Surely, as Irish critics neatly said,

Young nightingales must nestle in your throat,
From which you pour forth many a thrilling note,
Accepting Mr. Hase's notes instead;

By this some think it suits your taste the best,
With goldfinches to feather well your nest.

Yet thou 'rt of generosity so full,
That, to oblige your humble friend John Bull,
Prompted by that good soul Val'breque,
You flew, at Taylor's insolence indignant,
To offer Harris, with a smile benignant,
At his new house to sing or speak.

And then the terms-too shabby to be nam'd;
Reader, excuse me; faith, I am asham'd!

(Oh! wonderful Italian condescension!) What think you of four thousand paltry pounds ?— "Good God! it can't be true," you cry; "why, zounds! "A very pittance, quite unworthy mention."

They say that Mister Reynolds, clever man!
Has hit upon a most enriching plan,

A famous goose to lay some golden eggs;
Which all the cognoscenti folks declare
Will make our cockney eyes still wider stare,

Than when in "male attire" you show'd your legs. Yes, Reynolds, whose hard-working Muse still tries To catch, not shoot, each folly as it flies, Is even now, with most assiduous pains, Spinning an opera from his ready brains:

And in your fame, and profit too, to share

He means, besides your songs so much in vogue,
To write you out, with judgment and with care,
A mighty pretty sort of dialogue:

Gods! how the house with loud applause will tremble,
To hear you chatter English with John Kemble!!!

NEW

( 193 )

NEW THEATRE, ST. GILES'S.
[From the British Press, Aug. 10.)

MR. EDITOR,

YOU cannot be surprised to hear that the rage for new theatres has extended itself to St. Giles's.There is no part of this great metropolis more thickly inhabited, or more fond of recreation.-As the landlord of the Fox and Goose, Seven Dials, one of the principal inhabitants, in his letter to the Lord Chamberlain, in a morning print of yesterday, in the name of his customers, "THE TOWN," correctly expresses himself:

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"We like a play; we toil the day through with a cheerfulness acquired by the idea, that we shall enjoy our evening with our wives, our sisters, and our friends, within the walls of the playhouse we do not want an overgrown Pat-agonian building; nor do we covet a puppet-show house: but we solicit, at your hands, such a sized theatre as may easily be replaced if accidentally destroyed. Three or four houses of this description are surely better than only two monstrous Coliseums, which are to monopolize the whole town, and which cannot be replaced but at a vast ex• penditure of money and of time."

To the above argument, which is faithfully quoted, let us add the claim arising from the suppression of those late elegant and refined amusements, the cock and hen clubs, which were a sort of substitute for the theatres; and the farther abridgment of recreations, by the restraints imposed upon punch and porter houses, and the inquisitorial proceedings of those custodes morum, the Society for the Suppression of Vice.

We have been often assured by Ministers, that among those people who form a very principal part of the inhabitants of St. Giles's, reform is synonimous with revolution; and fearing that their proposition may

VOL. XIII,

K

be

194

NEW THEATRE, ST. GILES's,

be considered the result of a treasonable plot to overthrow the established theatre; to prevent any misrepresentation, it has been thought advisable to submit the whole of the plan; in which it will be seen there is little or no novelty, being formed upon the basis of one of the most elegant and loyal of our present places of amusement.

When the most splendid parts of the town, and the wealthiest speculators, are obliged to have recourse to a subscription for the purpose of erecting their theatres, it surely cannot cause objection or surprise, if the gentlemen and ladies of St. Giles's adopt that mode. Indeed, a theatre is a public work, and ought to be erected at the public expense; and, from the highly respectable names attached to the subscription in the present instance, headed by the Lady-Patronesses, there is no doubt that the St. Giles's Institution will boast, if not as noble, certainly as high blood as any other in this metropolis.

THE PLAN.

The rooms intended for the new theatre are situate in Dyot Street, St. Giles's, and have, at a great expense, for the convenience of the Subscribers, been newly whitewashed; the holes in the floors have been also mended, and four elegant brass brackets substituted for the mock bronze clay stands which held the lights a few seasons ago, during the performances of the Cock and Hen Clubs.

For the convenience of the Lady-Patronesses, five sedan chairs, not a whit the worse of the wear, have been purchased and placed at the upper end of the room; and, for the further accommodation of the Occupants, there will be handles inside, on the doors, by which the Lady-Patronesses may let themselves out at pleasure.

There will be twelve concerts; the subscription Is. each;

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