dat-he was at Barth, le grand consul de musique, was true; but-dat he was not so much interressé as might be thought; for out of the eight concerts, only two were for his benefit; the other six merely for his profit and emolument!--dat--all grand musicians know the impressions of a good overture, by way of la belle promesse :-dat-there was also a composition called -a catch, which was much esteemed by many grond musiciens!--dat-his old friend Signor Delphini (of leg-twisting memory) had often told him dat Here the orator's further arguments became drowned. in a general coughing, hemming, foot-scraping, &c. &c. The court did not by any means appear satisfied with this logic or alien-mode of reasoning; but, with true British lenity to foreigners, proceeded to call Mr. Gem, whom they very pathetically apostrophized, to the effect, that it ill accorded with his usual liberality and philanthropy to have joined with, or even tolerated such parties, who he must know were depredators of his freehold and trespassers upon his manor: that as a Briton, they assured themselves he would not wish to snatch and convert the loaves of the hungry, skilful, and deserving English, into maccaroni for the pampered maws of popinjays! That they hoped he would be found ever ready to dispense, with the same liberality as favour was measured out to him, of which they wished him a long experience! Mr. Gem appeared much affected by this handsome authoritative appeal: to his heart and feelings; he replied with propriety and gracefulness," that he gloried in the name of a Briton!"-That he trusted his friends Mr. Sergeant Shakspeare and Mr. Counsellor Arne would bear testimony to the delight he took in always listening to them that it was too often the fate of mortality to be led away;-but that such sin, like many others, as often carried its own punishment in various ways ; then THE TRIAL OF MADAME SQUALINA CANTABILE. 161 -then stepping forward and bowing all round, he excellently repeated "If I de feign, Oh! let me in my present wildness die ; And never live to show the incredulous world The prisoner, being called upon for her defence, read a written paper, which began by declaring, that in her native country, Italy, she had seen many sumptuous palaces and chateaux inscribed "La Folie Anglaise,” and which on inquiry she found had been built by Italian singers from the plunder of this country; that this inspiring her with a desire to do the same, she had come over, and had so well succeeded, as to be now in treaty for a principality, as soon as the present royalty seller had one to dispose of: that her depredations at Bath, as the law of this court (Common Sense) called them, were not of half the imagined extent, as she had been under the necessity of keeping up appearances, by all sorts of ways and means; and that the treasurer's returns were composed of two articlesmoney and moonshine! She finally trusted to the justice of the court and jury. The judge then summed up the evidence, in the usual way, in that excellent straight-forward court (Common Sense); and the jury, without quitting the box, gave verdict of Guilty. The judge then pronounced the awful sentence of the law with due solemnity. The prisoner only begged that her intended execution might take place in London, near Hanover Square, on March 16th; and that she might be indulged to proceed to the place in a post-chaise with four horses, attended by her usual corps de logis, or body guard; as they were all very harmless men (though they did for her business), many of them having been so severely wounded, that they could be of no use in serving His Majesty either by land or sea: -that that they were very averse to pressing, and incapable of assisting the military service even in raising recruits! 1 RIGDUM FUNNIBUS, SECOND LETTER FROM MR. DASHAWAY. [See p. 147.] MY PIEBALD COLT OF PARNASSUS, HAVE attended your four first trainings, but you won't do; you can't come through—you'll want a stirrup at the weight scales, and so lose the match! Now a stir-up is what all you publishers hate to lose! -There's a Trin. Coll. pun for you, Old Orderly!— Now for business :-Why, you a'n't near even the distance-post of notoriety! Now I'll explain by example what notoriety means, and what subjects you ought to handle. Here's a few articles will make all your readers stare, whistle and halloo !-Kit Kickup is the very soul of notoriety. He and Frank Firewheel drove curricles four-in-hand (forfeit and the d-l to the hindmost) from Covent Garden to Hyde Park Corner, for 5ool. most mischief; bipeds, quadrupeds, and fruit-stalls included. Firewheel ran over two old women, a Jew clothesman, and a corn-doctor (not a mealman): also overset four orange manufactories, two buggies, and three baker's trundles; besides rank and file of dogs and newsmen ;-but Kit beat him hollow, by a smashed pig and twenty-five panes of shop windows! This is something like notoriety; why a man may drive for a month through the streets of Bath at noon-day, with his groom blowing his horn by his side till his lungs burst, before he can have half as much good luck. Tom Tippy lives in the country; Hyde Park is not his mark, but notoriety is; so he rides in a two-horse carriage of his own invention, so original, that all through SECTARISTS, OR POLEMICS POLITICAL. 163 through three counties, it is taken for the vehicle of a wild beast showman, which his check shirt and Wapping neck handkerchief tend to confirm-notoriety again! Harry Helter was resolved not to be outdone by Dick Daredevil, who sported a brace of flamers (wenches) on his coach-box at Brighton: so Harry, in addition, tackles up in a sling behind, a third flamer from Bond Street; but taking too short a sweep round the Pavillion, upset the cargo, and nothing was visible but sprawling legs and feet, like the waving sprouts of an asparagus-bed, which (with his knack of shirking the bailiffs) has acquired Helter the name of→ many-legged Harry!-Glorious notoriety! : So much for a sample, old boy: if you enter these for your next plate, I shall write soon again only remember, notoriety is the only way to increase the fame of your Bath filley. Yours, my sprightly ink-splasher, Roary Hall, Turf Common, SECTARISTS, OR POLEMICS POLITICAL. MUCH UCH as the sectarists of England have multiplied since the Reformation, and particularly under the House of Brunswick, there has lately arisen a sect which will forcibly and memorably obtain the notice of posterity, even should the propagation and increase of its doctrines be stopped or checked. They are called Clarkists; but we do not perceive any analogy be tween them and the celebrated Dr. Clarke of Queen Anne's reign; who is by many considered as the key→ stone of Unitarianism. The present Clarkists are also of a strong Unitarian principle. They assert and prove their pretended power, mission, and authority, by by showing to their followers their gift of working miracles: such as enduing a menial servant with the instantaneous knowledge of tactics, so as to be qualified to command a company of infantry on the most important service. By the same kind of miraculous touch, they convert a stockbroker into a commissary; a private dragoon into a commandant; and had boldly undertaken, as a proof of their supernatural power, to carry a heavy Glasse in their hands to the pinnacle of Salisbury cathedral: but in this they failed, as well as in one other, in which, although they had minded all their P's and Q's, the letter Ŏ marred the miracle. The great preacher of this sect, whose name is Clarke, is said to possess the insinuative and winning graces of oratory and action, in a very superior degree; and it is also said, that a quondam Bishop has borne testimony to her irresistible doctrines, and moving manner, in a series of letters, partaking of mysticism and glowing with spiritual love; which letters will, it is expected, be translated into all languages; to communicate to the world at large the classic purity, richness, and fervour of British literature, upon abstract and occult subjects. The celebrated and leading preacher of the sect has lately held forth to audiences of the highest rank, during eight hours, several times; keeping up their attention the best part of the night.-Her inspiration is however supposed to be equally possessed by two other fellow-labouresses, named Carey and Sinclair, as well as two more, alluded to and mentioned in the pamphlet called the Hoganian Controversy; a learned disquisition upon which was expected soon to issue from the press of Messrs. Banco Regis and Co. of London; but which it is thought by some must be delayed: the times being unfavourable to any larger stock of such literature, just at present. It may finally occasion surprise to many readers, to learn that these zealous propagandi are all females; (probably in emulative |